


hawk in the raven nest

by prouveyrac



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, the foxhole court
Genre: M/M, Raven!Neil, Sexual Assault, Such as:, Violence, all the triggers that aftg has, all will be marked clearly when they appear in a chapter, andrew is a raven too, edit: there are three deaths at the end of this fic, mentions of self harm, raven!neil/nathaniel, two death scenes near end of fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-11-11 10:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 89,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11146431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: Nathaniel Wesninski always knew that his life could have been much different, and perhaps much easier, if he had been anyone but Nathaniel Wesninski. With the three on his face and a state of always being surrounded by his fellow Perfect Court, he was forced into accepting his life as a number before he was a person. Though, when the cracks in the Ravens and in their corrupt Captain and Coach began to show, Nathaniel realized that he couldn't just sit back and let things be. Dreaming of dismantling the amazing yet corrupt Edgar Allan Ravens was one thing; actually going through with it, with two unexpected allies at his side, was a different story entirely.(updated every monday and friday)





	1. (preview of story)

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a preview for my upcoming raven!neil/nathaniel fic, "hawk in the raven nest". thoughts and opinions are greatly appreciated!!! the full fic will be coming this summer (summer 2017) and will be multiple chapters. also, there will be more specific tags and warnings.
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com
> 
> (this fic was inspired by exybee.tumblr.com )

Nathaniel Wesninski traced the three on his cheek. At a younger age, the marker would have smudged under his touch; however, the ink, scarred into his face, held up. The three was the ever constant reminder that that was where he stood in the nest. He was not first like Riko Moriyama; he was not invincible like Riko Moriyama. He was not King Riko Moriyama. He was not second like Kevin Day. He was not valuable like Kevin Day was valuable. He was not Kevin Day, the one who was meant to make something of his life with Riko Moriyama.

He was third. He was third from the top, second most valuable piece of property. He was third, and therefore more punishable than first. He was third in rank, and there was a price sitting on his head. At one point he was a being. He once had something to him other than a three and a price tag.

If his life had gone different, he could have been something _more_. If his father wasn’t the Butcher, the Moriyama’s infamous executioner, or if his mother hadn’t been killed in trying to make Nathaniel free of the Moriyama’s power, he could have been someone different.

But this wasn’t that life. This was the life where he was Nathaniel Wesninski, sold by Nathan Wesninski, bought by Lord Kengo Moriyama, and given to Riko Moriyama.

The life where he was third and paired off with Jean Moreau, all before he was Nathaniel Wesninski.

He covered up the three on his cheek with his index finger. The three was what made him recognizable. Everyone knew who he was because of that number.

For a second, he wondered what life would be like if he was completely unrecognizable.

But there was no life outside of the Nest. Not until he was signed onto his future Court team. And then there would be no life outside of Exy.

The bathroom light flickered, and suddenly the black walls and ceiling and floor and aspects of red felt all-too-suffocating. He turned on his heel and shoved the door open before he could feel the cold grip of claustrophobia start to strangle him. The black hallway of the Nest swallowed him whole as he stepped out. The yellow and red lights shone down at him as he made his way down the hall and to his shared room. Even after being with the Ravens for ten years, the red glow still made him feel uneasy, like something terrible was always creeping up right behind him and he was too slow to catch it.

He swung open his bedroom door and found Jean Moreau sat on his bed across from Nathaniel’s. His fellow backliner, Nathaniel wouldn’t call Jean a friend. They were more so… allies. They were paired at three and four (Jean with his own number marring his face), and therefore were the only person each other had guarding their back. As Nathaniel was, Jean was also sold by his father and bought by the Ravens. Both were trained by Riko, since Tetsuji wouldn’t waste his oxygen on those who weren’t his promised prodigies. Under Riko, they were not his teammates; they were his property. They each had to suffer through his violence, physical and mental, and pick each other up off the ground as the other Ravens watched and did nothing.

No, they weren’t friends, but they were more than allies; Jean and Nathaniel were what was keeping each other alive. They understood their situations in the lives they were living, and both knew that things could have been better if other things went different. While Riko and Kevin were destined to a life of greatness, they were forced into it.

Jean looked up when Nathaniel entered and watched silently as he shut the door behind him and crossed to his bed. When Nathaniel was laying back and staring at the ceiling, he spoke up in French, “One day Riko might actually kill Andrew.”

“Andrew might be the only person Riko wouldn’t want to waste his time replacing,” he said, lolling his head to the side to look at Jean.

Andrew Minyard was the best goalkeeper Nathaniel had ever seen, though he never expected anything less from a Raven. He was the only one exempt from having a partner on the Ravens only because Riko wasn’t going to bring in a sixth-wheel to their Top Five. However, that didn’t mean that Andrew was alone; it just meant that he had the other Top Four looming over him.

Nathaniel and Andrew were very different people, for Nathaniel enjoyed Exy and Andrew did not (among other reasons). From the moment Andrew met Nathaniel, the former made it very clear that he hated how Nathaniel was just as Exy-obsessed as Kevin.

Sports newscasters identified him by his number five, a late addition to Riko’s inner circle at being recruited last year. The Ravens identified him by his black armbands that he wore everyday and an attitude problem that could be split into two sections: pre and post medication. Andrew was put on court-mandated medication for assault instead of being arrested, and he was supposed to be on it for three years before being eased off it.

Pre-medication, Nathaniel found himself actually surprised that Riko (and Kevin) wanted Andrew in the first place. He talked back, he was rude, and his attention span barely found an ounce of care for Exy. All around, he was destined to be the bane of Riko’s (and Kevin’s) existence.

And then Riko realized that Andrew would be the Ravens’ unwanted weak link, and a week into training for Andrew’s freshman season, Riko pulled some strings and Andrew was forced into a withdrawal two and a half years early. Nathaniel didn’t know what Riko expected when Andrew was taken off medication. He still talked back. He was still rude, except this time it was more blunt than hyper. The only thing that changed was his care for Exy: he cared even less.

But Nathaniel wasn’t wrong when he said that Riko wouldn’t do anything to Andrew. At least, he didn’t think he was wrong. He assumed Riko steered clear of Andrew because he was too valuable of a player. He didn’t care, he would never practice outside of the mandatory practices, and yet barely anyone could score on him. In a game, it was an off day for Andrew if someone scored past him four times. And that was what made him irreplaceable. He was the top pick as goalie for every school that offered Exy; Riko wouldn’t be able to find anyone better. He had no choice but to resort to verbal threats instead of physical.

Besides, even if Riko did ever physically attack Andrew, everyone knew that Andrew would fight back, and fight back harder. Riko valued his life too much to risk it with Andrew.

Andrew had a twin and cousin somewhere that both played Exy, but he showed up to the Ravens alone. The Ravens didn’t have time to raise families; if they weren’t good enough, they would just have to deal with one less cousin.

(Apparently they dealt just fine, since twin Aaron Minyard and cousin Nicholas Hemmick were signed onto the Palmetto Foxes the same year Andrew and Nathaniel were signed to the Ravens.)

“Riko only has so much patience,” Jean said, shaking his head.

Jean actually looked concerned, and Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you actually worrying about Andrew?”

“I’m worrying about us,” Jean lowered his voice to a whisper even though they were the only two in the room, not to mention they weren’t even speaking English. “You know that Riko’s anger comes straight back to us.”

Jean wasn’t wrong. After Andrew bluntly expressed his apathy for the sport, Riko lost it. The only reason Jean and Nathaniel didn’t face the brunt of his anger was because they got out of the locker room fast enough to be out of Riko’s sight. However, Nathaniel knew they wouldn't always be so lucky. Despite having just won the championships (again) in the end of March, they only got a few days off before starting up training again. The season didn't pick back up until August. There were still many opportunities for Andrew to piss off Riko, and no one would step in when Riko finally turned his anger to Nathaniel and Jean.

“We survived it before,” was all Nathaniel could think of saying.

“And what if there comes a time when we don’t?”

“Let me rephrase, we don’t have a choice on whether or not we live,” Nathaniel said, now lowering his own voice. Jean’s paranoia made him feel anxious, too, and now he feared that others were listening and taking note of the foreign language. They weren’t supposed to be speaking in a language Riko didn’t understand. “We’re loose ends, Jean, and you’re smart enough to know that. With us, there is no room for mistakes, no room for a breaking point. We have to survive and be strong because we have no other option. The Ravens don’t handle weakness, and neither do those who bought us. We’re stuck living a life where we have to survive every blow thrown at us. It’s either we survive and take the cards we have been dealt, or die. There’s no middle ground with people like us..”

Jean went silent at the grim truth that both of them have always known from the moment they entered Castle Evermore.

Finally, Jean said in English, “We have to get to the stadium.”


	2. chapter one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel Wesninski always knew that his life could have been much different, and perhaps much easier, if he had been anyone but Nathaniel Wesninski. With the three on his face and a state of always being surrounded by his fellow Perfect Court, he was forced into accepting his life as a number before he was a person. Though, when the cracks in the Ravens and in their corrupt Captain and Coach began to show, Nathaniel realized that he couldn't just sit back and let things be. Dreaming of dismantling the amazing yet corrupt Edgar Allan Ravens was one thing; actually going through with it, with two unexpected allies at his side, was a different story entirely.

Nathaniel Wesninski traced the three on his cheek. At a younger age, the marker would have smudged under his touch; however, the ink, scarred into his face, held up. The three was the ever constant reminder that that was where he stood in the nest. He was not first like Riko Moriyama; he was not invincible like Riko Moriyama. He was not King Riko Moriyama. He was not second like Kevin Day. He was not valuable like Kevin Day was valuable. He was not Kevin Day, the one who was meant to make something of his life with Riko Moriyama.

He was third. He was third from the top, second most valuable piece of property. He was third, and therefore more punishable than first. He was third in rank, and there was a price sitting on his head. At one point he was a being. He once had something to him other than a three and a price tag.

If his life had gone different, he could have been something  _ more _ . If his father wasn’t the Butcher, the Moriyama’s infamous executioner, or if his mother hadn’t been killed in trying to make Nathaniel free of the Moriyama’s power, he could have been someone different.

But this wasn’t that life. This was the life where he was Nathaniel Wesninski, sold by Nathan Wesninski, bought by Lord Kengo Moriyama, and given to Riko Moriyama.

The life where he was third and paired off with Jean Moreau, all before he was Nathaniel Wesninski.

He covered up the three on his cheek with his index finger. The three was what made him recognizable. Everyone knew who he was because of that number.

For a second, he wondered what life would be like if he was completely unrecognizable.

But there was no life outside of the Nest. Not until he was signed onto his future Court team. And then there would be no life outside of Exy.

The bathroom light flickered, and suddenly the black walls and ceiling and floor and aspects of red felt all-too-suffocating. He turned on his heel and shoved the door open before he could feel the cold grip of claustrophobia start to strangle him. The black hallway of the Nest swallowed him whole as he stepped out. The yellow and red lights shone down at him as he made his way down the hall and to his shared room. Even after being with the Ravens for ten years, the red glow still made him feel uneasy, like something terrible was always creeping up right behind him and he was too slow to catch it.

He swung open his bedroom door and found Jean Moreau sat on his bed across from Nathaniel’s. His fellow backliner, Nathaniel wouldn’t call Jean a friend. They were more so allies. They were paired at three and four (Jean with his own number marring his face), and therefore were the only person each other had guarding their back. As Nathaniel was, Jean was also sold by his father and bought by the Ravens. Both were trained by Riko, since Tetsuji wouldn’t waste his oxygen on those who weren’t his promised prodigies. Under Riko, they were not his teammates; they were his property. They each had to suffer through his violence, physical and mental, and pick each other up off the ground as the other Ravens watched and did nothing.

No, they weren’t friends, but they were more than allies; Jean and Nathaniel were what was keeping each other alive. They understood their situations in the lives they were living, and both knew that things could have been better if other things went different. While Riko and Kevin were destined to a life of greatness, they were forced into it.

Jean looked up when Nathaniel entered and watched silently as he shut the door behind him and crossed to his bed. When Nathaniel was laying back and staring at the ceiling, he spoke up in French, “One day Riko might actually kill Andrew.”

“Andrew might be the only person Riko wouldn’t want to waste his time replacing,” he said, lolling his head to the side to look at Jean.

Andrew Minyard was the best goalkeeper Nathaniel had ever seen, though he never expected anything less from a Raven. He was the only one exempt from having a partner on the Ravens only because Riko wasn’t going to bring in a sixth-wheel to their Top Five. However, that didn’t mean that Andrew was alone; it just meant that he had the other Top Four looming over him. 

Nathaniel and Andrew were very different people, for Nathaniel enjoyed Exy and Andrew did not (among other reasons). From the moment Andrew met Nathaniel, the former made it very clear that he hated how Nathaniel was just as Exy-obsessed as Kevin.

Sports newscasters identified him by his number five, a late addition to Riko’s inner circle at being recruited last year. The Ravens identified him by his black armbands that he wore everyday and an attitude problem that could be split into two sections: pre and post medication. Andrew was put on court-mandated medication instead of being arrested for nearly killing four men who assaulted his cousin, and he was supposed to be on it for three years before being eased off it.

Pre-medication, Nathaniel found himself actually surprised that Riko (and Kevin) wanted Andrew in the first place. He talked back, he was rude, and his attention span barely found an ounce of care for Exy. All around, he was destined to be the bane of Riko’s (and Kevin’s) existence.

And then Riko realized that Andrew would be the Ravens’ unwanted weak link, and a week into training for Andrew’s freshman season, Riko pulled some strings and Andrew was forced into a withdrawal two and a half years early. Nathaniel didn’t know what Riko expected when Andrew was taken off medication. He still talked back. He was still rude, except this time it was more blunt than hyper. The only thing that changed was his care for Exy: he cared even less.

But Nathaniel wasn’t wrong when he said that Riko wouldn’t do anything to Andrew. At least, he didn’t think he was wrong. He assumed Riko steered clear of Andrew because he was too valuable of a player. He didn’t care, he would never practice outside of the mandatory practices, and yet barely anyone could score on him. In a game, it was an off day for Andrew if someone scored past him four times. And that was what made him irreplaceable. He was the top pick as goalie for every school that offered Exy; Riko wouldn’t be able to find anyone better. He had no choice but to resort to verbal threats instead of physical.

Besides, even if Riko did ever physically attack Andrew, everyone knew that Andrew would fight back, and fight back harder. Riko valued his life too much to risk it with Andrew.

Andrew had a twin and cousin somewhere that both played Exy, but he showed up to the Ravens alone. The Ravens didn’t have time to raise families; if they weren’t good enough, they would just have to deal with one less cousin. 

(Apparently they dealt just fine, since twin Aaron Minyard and cousin Nicholas Hemmick were signed onto the Palmetto Foxes the same year Andrew was signed to the Ravens.)

“Riko only has so much patience,” Jean said, shaking his head. 

Jean actually looked concerned, and Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you actually worrying about Andrew?”

“I’m worrying about us,” Jean lowered his voice to a whisper even though they were the only two in the room, not to mention they weren’t even speaking English. “You know that Riko’s anger comes straight back to us.”

Jean wasn’t wrong. After Andrew bluntly expressed his apathy for the sport, Riko lost it. The only reason Jean and Nathaniel didn’t face the brunt of his anger was because they got out of the locker room fast enough to be out of Riko’s sight. However, Nathaniel knew they wouldn't always be so lucky. Despite having just won the championships (again) in the end of March, they only got a few days off before starting up training again. The season didn't pick back up until August. There were still many opportunities for Andrew to piss off Riko, and no one would step in when Riko finally turned his anger to Nathaniel and Jean.

“We survived it before,” was all Nathaniel could think of saying.

“And what if there comes a time when we don’t?”

“Let me rephrase, we don’t have a choice on whether or not we live,” Nathaniel said, now lowering his own voice. Jean’s paranoia made him feel anxious, too, and now he feared that others were listening and taking note of the foreign language. They weren’t supposed to be speaking in a language Riko didn’t understand. “We’re loose ends, Jean, and you’re smart enough to know that. With us, there is no room for mistakes, no room for a breaking point. We have to survive and be strong because we have no other option. The Ravens don’t handle weakness, and neither do those who bought us. We’re stuck living a life where we have to survive every blow thrown at us. It’s either we survive and take the cards we have been dealt, or die. There’s no middle ground with people like us..”

Jean went silent at the grim truth that both of them have always known from the moment they entered Castle Evermore.

Finally, Jean said in English, “We have to get to the stadium.”

\--

Castle Evermore, home of the Ravens. The stadium walls welcomed their team with open arms, and loomed over opposing teams with an oppressive stance. On the walls, up by the rafters, hung all the Championship banners the team had won. Their most recent win was already added. All the ravens on the banners stared down at the team, pressuring them to constantly do better than before.

Nathaniel had high hopes for his team. They were undefeated for as long as they have existed. All cockiness aside, they were the reigning team in the nation. Sometimes, though, he wondered if they would ever reach a point where they couldn’t get any better. He had seen teams hit rock bottom, like the Palmetto Foxes, but could a team only go so high? Nathaniel had confidence, but he did wonder if there would ever be a team that would one day knock them out. 

With the way Coach Tetsuji trained them and Riko pushed them, however, he couldn’t see that day coming anytime soon. The Ravens worked sixteen hour days. For them, sports came before grades, so most of that time was dedicated towards Exy. A few hours were spent in between for three or four of the athletes to group together and go to a class made specifically for them.

The Ravens didn’t associate with anyone outside the team. It was to eliminate distractions and keep everyone’s focus on the game. Coach didn’t want outside forces affecting his athletes’ mentality. No one who was recruited ever questioned that, not even Andrew (though Andrew wasn’t a particularly social guy). And people like Riko, Kevin, Nathaniel, and Jean all accepted it. Riko naturally accepted it since he grew up with it. Kevin followed Riko. And Nathaniel and Jean, who were bought, knew that they might as well follow the leading duo for it was better than the alternative.

Besides, if the Ravens social group was only the Ravens, it made practices (slightly) easier to handle. They had no other places to be or people to see.

“Wesninski, get your head out of your ass, we have a practice to start.”

At his name being said, Nathaniel realized he had been standing at the edge of the court, staring blankly up at the banners. He looked over his shoulder and saw Kevin Day approaching, helmet in his right hand and racket on his left shoulder.

“Just taking in our new win,” Nathaniel said as he retrieved his remaining gear that laid discarded on the nearby bench.

“Are you surprised?” Kevin asked, leaning on the divider wall. “Of course we won. No other team can even come close to beating us.”

“Not even the Trojans?” A smirk appeared on Kevin’s lips at the mention of the Trojans. Even though he was a Raven at heart, his favorite team was the University of Southern California’s Trojans.

“Jeremy wishes he could beat us.”

“You’re still as cocky as ever.”

“With all of our wins, we have a right to be,” Kevin said, now casting his eyes up at the banners.

Nathaniel wouldn’t really consider Kevin a friend despite being part of the inner circle, too many things had changed. With competition and the lifestyle of the Ravens being worked into their everyday lives, Kevin and Nathaniel were now teammates, dependents of each other, before they were friends. But they were friends once. It used to be the Top Three, and then it became the Top Four, and as of recently the Top Five, also known as the Perfect Court; however, even that had split into Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day, Nathaniel Wesninski and Jean Moreau, and then Andrew Minyard, separate but watching. 

The Perfect Court wasn’t a place for friends; it was for success.

Friend or not, though, Nathaniel did find room to appreciate the easy atmosphere between him and Kevin. Talking with Kevin was much easier than talking with Riko, less intimidating than talking with Riko.

The rest of the Ravens began to trickle on. Somewhere in the middle came Andrew Minyard, helmet hanging by his fingertips, racket lazily draped over his shoulder, and black armbands under his jersey.

Kevin’s eyes darted to Andrew, though Andrew paid no mind. “You’re going to try today.” It wasn’t a question but a command.

“I don’t recall you being captain,” Andrew shot back, not sparing Kevin or Nathaniel a glance as he walked past them. Both knew that if Riko told him the same thing, he still wouldn’t listen. 

And that’s what confused Nathaniel. It was beyond him why Kevin wanted Andrew so badly. Riko had been fine leaving Andrew after he rejected their initial recruitment. Riko didn’t have the time or patience to deal with athletes who had an attitude problem, so he was happy leaving Andrew “to rot”. However, Kevin kept persisting Andrew, and suddenly papers were being signed to make Andrew a Raven. And then there was a five on his cheek and he was a part of the inner circle.

And what confused Nathanial even more than that was how often Kevin and Andrew stuck together. It was always Riko and Kevin. Wherever Riko was, there was Kevin, and vice versa. But where there was Kevin, there was Andrew somewhere nearby, lurking. Nathaniel didn’t know if they were forming some sort of alliance between themselves, but he definitely didn’t think that the two were particularly close. The two so often fought (mostly Kevin fighting and Andrew staring through him) about Exy, or a lack of care for it, that he was surprised the two could even stand the sight of each other certain days.

The only possible conclusion Nathaniel could jump to was that Andrew had something that Kevin wanted.

Nathaniel didn’t get enough time to even consider asking, for the last two to enter the court were Riko Moriyama and Coach Tetsuji. Riko shadowed off of his uncle’s shoulder, scanning his eyes across his fellow teammates. He had a hard look in his eye, one that refused to tolerate any bullshit (though Nathaniel realized a long time ago that “bullshit” meant any slight inconvenience).

Once the entire team had warmed up, Tetsuji brought them in to talk about the day’s practice. Riko, Kevin, Nathaniel, and Jean all clumped together, with Andrew somewhere on the outskirts. Today was for scrimmages. Tetsuji split them into two teams of eleven. Riko, Kevin, Nathaniel, Jean, and Andrew all ended up on one team together, and Nathaniel wasn’t surprised at all. Tetsuji had told his team multiple times before that Riko, Kevin, Nathaniel, Jean, and Andrew were the pinnacle of what Exy players should be. 

They were the Top Five, the Perfect Court.

The scrimmages were played like actual games, and just as rough. The Ravens barely took breaks, even when Exy season was technically over. This intense training year round allowed for the current team members to never lose their abilities, and it challenged incoming athletes to see how easily they could pick up Raven strategies.

Nathaniel’s team was doing fairly well. Both Riko and Kevin had scored twice each on the opposing team’s goal while that side had yet to get one past Andrew. Andrew was involved enough in the scrimmage; he was blocking all the shots. However, whenever Nathaniel cast a glance at him, he was leaning on his stick, watching the match in front of him with more apathy than interest. Only when the ball neared the goal did he move his racket.

Nathaniel couldn’t see Riko and Kevin’s faces through their helmets, but he could tell when they were staring each other, having some sort of conversation that didn’t require speaking. After that, it didn’t take long for Kevin to become fed up with Andrew’s disinterest.

“Are you going to actually make an effort on this team, or are you going to stand there and waste space?” Kevin demanded of Andrew once Tetsuji called the scrimmage to a halt. His voice had boomed down to the home goal from half-court, but now he was stomping his way over to Andrew.

Andrew took his own helmet off and feigned offense. “Waste space? You wound me.”

“This isn’t the time for jokes, Minyard,” Kevin growled. By now, the entire court had their eyes on the pair, even Tetsuji. Nathaniel saw that Riko was watching them with his helmet held to his side.

“I never kid, Kevin.”

“Really?” Kevin’s voice was growing angrier and he was losing any composure he had left. Kevin had the tendency to be an asshole when it came to Exy, and it wasn’t the first time Kevin lacked tolerance for one of his teammates (especially Andrew). “Because that performance looked like a joke to me. Just because you got no shots past you doesn’t mean you can just stand there like none of this matters. You will not let this team suffer, you will not jeopardize our future, because you can’t bring yourself to give a shit about any of this.” It was another command that Nathaniel was sure Andrew was going to dismiss.

“I’m doing what you brought me here to do: guard your goal,” Andrew said, leaning on his racket. “Was there something in the fine print that I missed? I didn’t realize getting a hard-on for Exy was required.”

Nathaniel wondered if Kevin regretted putting that five on Andrew’s face. From where Nathaniel was standing, he could see Kevin clench his free fist before dropping his helmet to the floor. “I will not let you humiliate me for bringing your ass here,” Kevin fumed as took one step closer to Andrew. He shifted his one hand as if to grab Andrew by the jersey and the other reeled back. For Kevin, reeling his hand back was just a threat; Riko would be the one to actually hit people, but he was just watching. He looked completely entertained with how the event in front of him was progressing.

Except before Kevin could get either of his hands on Andrew, Andrew managed to drop his stick and helmet and secure Kevin’s wrists in his own hands. No one expected Andrew’s reflexes to be as fast as they were after taking it “easy” in the recent scrimmage. 

“Do you really want to do that, Kevin?” Andrew asked, his voice monotone though his hands did not release their grip on Kevin’s wrists.

The room, which had only been filled with the sounds of Andrew and Kevin and slight shuffling, fell deathly silent.  It was one thing for Andrew to physically resist Kevin, surprising yes, but not horrifying. But to so blatantly issue a challenge, a threat, to Kevin, _ that _ was a bit closer to horrifying.

Kevin didn’t do anything for a moment. The two stared at each other with locked eyes. It was like they were daring each other to just do _ something  _ and see what happened. Kevin was the first to break the stare. He tugged his hands back and Andrew let them slip from his grip. As Kevin stepped away, Andrew bid him goodbye with his two-fingered salute.

Riko did not look amused anymore; His gaze had turned cold and as he watched Kevin and Andrew separate, Nathaniel was unsure of whether his aggravation was for Kevin or Andrew.

At one point when the next scrimmage started, Andrew deflected the ball so hard and fast that it would have pelted Laura Jenkins, who had tried to make the goal in the first place, if she didn’t leap out of the way.

It was impossible to not notice the tension running through Kevin’s body.

During another break later in that practice, Nathaniel slipped into the locker room. The tension in practice had not let up after the whole Kevin and Andrew thing; in fact, it only got worse. Kevin and Riko were now both on edge, and shouting at anyone who breathed wrong on the court. Nathaniel was as dedicated to Exy as the next Raven was, but the leading duo’s voices became grating on the nerves after a while.

Nathaniel was about to let the door shut behind him when he heard the sound of a body being slammed into a locker. His reflexives caused his hand to instantly shoot out and grab the door handle, preparing for a quick getaway. However, he stopped his runaway when he heard voices.

“You knew what you had to do,” Riko Moriyama snapped. “You were supposed to train your fucking pet. You were to show him what happens to those who disrespect their superiors.”

“How? With force?” It was Kevin. Nathaniel hadn’t even noticed that Riko and Kevin walked into the locker room.

“That’s how you get people to learn their place in this world.”

“He doesn’t listen, he never has. I can’t-”

Once again, the sound of a body being slammed into lockers filled the room. It was obvious that they were talking about Andrew. It wasn’t the first time Riko and Kevin fought, but those fights didn’t regularly involve their goalkeeper. Nathaniel knew that he should leave, that this wasn’t his place to be or conversation to hear. Yet, his hand remained on the door handle but did not pull it open, and his feet never left where they stood. 

“You were the one to bring a fucking embarrassment onto this team! He’s your responsibility, not mine,” Riko growled. “We should have left him to continue living his short, miserable life. He has no place here, he will only bring this team down. He’s your responsibility and you let him put his fucking hands on you like you’re his bitch?”

Riko probably had more to say, he always had more to say, but Kevin cut him off with, “Riko, please, it’s not-”

“Stop talking!” Riko shouted. Nathaniel flinched despite not being the person Riko’s anger was directed at. “You letting him push you around like this, it’s a fucking disgrace, Kevin, and it’s making you look like an embarrassment. And then that makes  _ me _ look like an embarrassment and a disgrace, and you can’t fuck up my future for me by having a feral dog out on the court.”

There was a beat of silence and Nathaniel was waiting for something, anything. He expected Kevin to fight back, to try to defend himself, but he said nothing.

“Make Andrew obey,” Riko said. “Or else we’re going to have a problem that’s taken up with Tetsuji.” Tetsuji was one to strike fear, and pain, into his players if they weren’t playing to his standards. If a problem, especially one plaguing the Perfect Court, was brought to him, Nathaniel couldn’t see any one of them coming out without new bruises and scars.

Nathaniel had a feeling the conversation was over. He quietly slid back out of the locker room, not wanting to even think about what would happen if Riko discovered that him and Kevin were not alone for their discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!hey guys, i promise that the end notes of other chapters will not be this long, this one just has some important information!!! 
> 
> first off, this fic has been a long time coming. for those who don't know, i have been writing this fic since april. i wanted to wait until the story was either done, or until i was almost done, to officially start posting it. and since the story is 95% done, i think now would be a good time to start posting it!!! thank you to all on tumblr who gave me support and asked about the fic, you all really helped keep me motivated when life seemed to want me to give up.
> 
> and some shout outs. first off, shout out to the person who inspired this all, aka bee @exybee !!! she made this post: http://exybee.tumblr.com/post/146757304651/can-someone-write-the-au-where-neil-nathaniel and i was extremely inspired. please, check out her blog and her writing, she is an amazing person and an amazing writer!!!  
> also, shout out to my two best friends mer @rreneewalker and rae @reneewalkerofficial, these two have read my WIP, they have motivated me to keep pushing through tougher scenes, and they have been my support group for my summer. honestly, without them motivating me and helping me through rough patches, in writing and in life, i wouldn't have been able to do this.
> 
> now, onto the things pertaining this fic:
> 
> because this fic is mostly already written, i will be having a legit update schedule. i'm thinking of updates being mostly on mondays and fridays since those are the two days that really work with my schedule. where i am right now is that the fic has exceeded 60k words, and as i have said, i am still not done. i've cut that down into 27 chapters and still counting, so i will probably be posting mondays/fridays for a couple of weeks. 
> 
> also, when i proofread, i look more for making sure that everything makes sense plot wise. which means there might be a spelling/grammar/syntax mistake here or there. if you see one, please do not hesitate to let me know either on here or my tumblr @allisonreynoldsofficial!!! trust me, i would rather be corrected than leave something in this fic that could lead to a misunderstanding.
> 
> and, because this is aftg, there are a fair amount of triggers. they will all be marked in each chapter that they pertain to, but here are the major ones that will be marked clearly: extreme violence, sexual assault, mentions of self harm, and there are two death scenes near the end of the fic. once again, i will mark them all clearly in the chapter notes (which, in that case, will be at the beginning of the fic). but if i miss one, please let me know.
> 
> on that note, thank you for reading all of this!!! i promise not every end note will be like this. kudos and feedback are greatly appreciated!!! also check me out on tumblr @allisonreynoldsofficial


	3. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love the number two?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for extreme violence

Nathaniel could hear Kevin and Andrew arguing from down the hall, in his room, with the door closed. He also thought that Kevin and Andrew were in Kevin’s room with that door closed, but he couldn’t be so sure. Either way, they were very loud.

After hearing what Riko had said to Kevin earlier in the week, Nathaniel assumed that Riko forced Kevin into the confrontation and then left him alone to deal with it, because he knew for a fact that Riko was in the lounge. He wondered if Riko every fought his own battles, or if he always had his lackeys carry them out for him. Even with Andrew, despite Kevin being the one who brought him to the team, Riko was the one having problems with him. And still, he made Kevin call him out, and made Kevin be the one to argue with him, therefore, disturbing the peace of the Nest, which wasn’t very peaceful in the first place and Nathaniel didn’t need anymore infighting.

“They’re always fighting,” Jean muttered from his spot on the bed. He had his school books out in front of him and was most likely cramming in any work he could in the short time he had away from Exy. “Andrew is always antagonizing him. Plus, he barely cares about Exy. I don’t understand why Kevin doesn’t just put him in his place. He has the power to.” In that moment, Jean sounded so much like Riko. But then again, Nathaniel assumed that all the Ravens shared the same opinion on Kevin and Andrew: why doesn’t Kevin just deal with him?

“Why do you think Kevin keeps him around?” Nathaniel asked, turning his attention back to staring at their door. “Why do you think Kevin wanted him in the first place? He rejected his first recruitment, you know.”

“I’m well aware, Riko brings it up every time when he’s pissed at Andrew,” Jean sighed. He lowered his voice when he said, “It’s quite aggravating to hear about after a while.” He then paused, probably realizing he never answered Nathaniel’s question. “But why? I don’t know, why don’t you ask Kevin yourself? He seems in the mood to talk.”

Nathaniel heard very clearly the sarcasm dripping from Jean’s voice, but his interest still tripled when he heard the fighting come to a halt and Kevin’s door open and slam close. “Good idea, Jean,” he said, standing up  and heading for the door. “I’ll go do that.”

“Nathaniel don’t you dare, I was kidding-” Nathaniel let Jean’s voice die out behind him with the door slamming shut. He immediately turned to Andrew, who was walking down the hall, expressionless, and Nathaniel raised an eyebrow in question.

“No one likes an eavesdropper, Nathaniel,” Andrew said as he blew right by him.

“It’s not eavesdropping if you’re loud enough for the entire Nest to hear,” Nathaniel called after him before continuing on his way to Kevin’s room.

Kevin, who seemed to have heard him, stuck his head out of the door. “What do you want, Nathaniel?” he asked, his voice still laced with aggravation.

“I just have a question,” Nathaniel answered, waiting outside his door. It wasn’t a lie, he just wasn’t going to question Kevin about his decisions outside where anyone could listen.

Kevin did a once over of him, attempting to find a lie in him. Finally, he sighed and stepped aside. “Fine.”

Nathaniel walked inside and turned to Kevin as he shut the door behind them.

“So?” Kevin said, crossing his arms. “What is it?”

“You and Andrew fight quite a lot.”

“That’s not a question.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes. “I’m getting to that. So, I repeat, you and Andrew fight quite a lot.”

It was Kevin’s turn to roll his eyes. “We do. He doesn’t listen to me when I tell him that focusing on Exy would be in his best interest.”

“I don’t think Andrew has ever listened to you. He didn’t when you first recruited him.”

“Still no question, Nathaniel, and I’m losing my last shreds of patience.”

Nathaniel sighed. “Why did you want Andrew here so badly if you knew from the beginning that he was going to be a problem for you?”

Kevin didn’t necessarily seem shocked by the question, but he still gave Nathaniel a look. “Why do you care?”

 _Riko was ready to let him “live out his short, miserable life” and resents that you keep him around. Why is Andrew such a dividing line for our leading duo?_ is what Nathaniel wanted to say, but he promptly decided that that would definitely blow his cover, and possibly get him punched in the face for eavesdropping.

“Everyone does. Everyone can see that you two argue at every little thing. I’m just the only one who’s asking you directly,” is what he went with instead. “So, why do keep him around?”

Kevin didn’t answer for a moment. He just stared down Nathaniel. If Kevin was trying to intimidate him, it wasn’t working. Kevin wasn’t Riko. Kevin couldn’t intimidate like Riko could. Kevin didn’t have the ranking.

When Kevin realized that Nathaniel wasn’t going to step down, he let out an exasperated sigh. “Andrew has the potential to be the best goalkeeper Exy has ever seen. He could go Court and thrive on it. Instead, he wastes his own time, and ours, by not giving a shit. I’m trying to get him to realize that he can actually do something once he graduates, and that ‘something’ can be Exy.”

Nathaniel stared in disbelief at Kevin. For whatever reason, that wasn’t the answer he expected. “So you keep Andrew around… because you think he has potential?”

“Is it that hard to understand?” Kevin asked. “He already does okay on the Ravens. I want to make him do better because he can. If he does better, not only will our team see an even better season, but he will definitely see Court in his future.”

“I didn’t realize you were the type to take people under your wing.”

“We only care about those who can actually do something significant. That’s why there’s only five of us.” He pointed to his face, and Nathaniel’s eyes went straight to the two on his cheek.

“We?”

“Yes. Riko and I spend all of our time on this team, but do you really think all twenty-three of us will be going to Court? That’s what everyone expects of us. And say all twenty-three of us do, do you think all of us will succeed?” Kevin asked, shaking his head. “Most likely, no. So, Riko and I spend our time getting the Ravens to Championships, and then winning. But in the end, the only ones we really see anything in are the top five.”

Nathaniel didn’t expect to be struck speechless, but there he was with his fingers touching his tattoo and just staring at Kevin.

Kevin rolled his eyes at his stupefied look. “You’re on the Ravens because you survived Tetsuji’s test. But you’re in the top five because you’re worth it. Did you really think we put a three on your face and a four on Jean’s because you were bought instead of recruited? Did we just put a five on Andrew’s face because we felt like it? Don’t be an idiot. You three and us two are the ones that will truly succeed in Exy and lead our Court team to success. So that’s why I keep Andrew around. In Castle Evermore, we don’t let potential go wasted.” Kevin took once last look over Nathaniel. “Did that answer your question?”

Nathaniel nodded and was promptly dismissed from the room.

\--

After practice one night in the middle of April, two weeks after training began, Coach Tetsuji dismissed all Ravens except for Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day. “Typical,” Nathaniel had heard one of his teammates muttering as they all shuffled into their locker rooms.

It was nine-o’clock when all Ravens but the two prodigies were dismissed from practice.

It was nine-thirty when only Riko returned.

Nathaniel found that out when there was a pounding on his door that shook Nathaniel from his state of half-consciousness. As he stumbled over to the door, he swung it open to find Riko standing there. Even though Riko was taller than Nathaniel, he didn’t have much on him. However, with the cold, dead look in Riko’s eyes and all the light being swallowed up by the black interior of the Nest, Nathaniel felt a chill run down his spine.

His common sense told him something was off.

“Come out here,” Riko said. His voice was low, barely reaching Nathaniel’s ears, but he heard the murder in it. Nathaniel cast a quick look over his shoulder to see if Jean had woken up, and instead found his roommate still sleeping. He looked back at Riko and nodded. The secrecy behind Riko’s words set up a red flag.

“What is it?” he asked, stepping out the door and closing it behind him.

Riko looked to either side of him, looking for onlookers or eavesdroppers. Even though no one stood with them in the hall -the other Ravens had retreated to their rooms- Riko leaned in closer and whispered into Nathaniel’s ear, “Kevin’s in the locker room upstairs. Go deal with him. Make sure he knows what happens when he crosses the Moriyamas.”

Nathaniel’s survival instincts told him that something was very, very wrong. In his mind flashed the image of an axe being brought down upon his crying mother, and he felt nauseated at what Riko could have done.

“What?” he said too loudly without thinking.

Riko shushed him by slamming his hand to his mouth. “Do not question,” he growled. “Just do as you’re told.”

Nathaniel nodded. His mind was already jumping to the worst conclusion: that Nathaniel was about to find a Kevin near death. It was unlikely, but a lot about Riko was unpredictable.

As he headed up the stairs to the court, he ran his mind through what he would be walking into. Worst case scenario, most unlikely, was a corpse. Nathaniel had seen enough in his life, done by the hands of his own father; he didn’t need to see anymore. Next case scenario, still very bad, and more likely, was an almost dead Kevin. He wanted to rule out those two, that Riko would never do any of that. But that was a lie. Riko Moriyama was capable of many terrible things.

When Nathaniel reached the locker room, the first thing he noticed was that only half of the lights were on. And then, he heard the pained, haggard breathing.

Nathaniel Wesninski had seen what the Moriyamas could do. They were manipulative, able to wield the justice system and physicians with a few easy threats that no one would dare report. They put children (or “loose ends” as they were dubbed) in a competition to see which ones would qualify for the Ravens; those who passed were welcomed, those who didn’t were executed. Nathaniel had seen his own father murder someone because a Moriyama told him so. And even though Riko had less power than his older brother and father, he was still a Moriyama, and therefore had the ability to manipulate and hurt people and not face consequences as long as he had no loose ends.

But Riko was meant to use that power, that violence, on the people he really owned, like Nathaniel and Jean. Sure, he might as well have owned the entire team, but the kids who were bought were different than the athletes who were recruited. It was just accepted knowledge.

And between Kevin Day, the kids bought, and the athletes recruited, Kevin rested on a level higher than all of them. He was not exempt from Riko Moriyama. Nathaniel knew that he and Riko fought, and that it sometimes got physical, but he had just assumed that the pair had a line drawn that neither would cross.

Nathaniel realized he was wrong when he found Kevin in the state he was in.

Kevin Day, a child of Exy, a prodigy, a man who was supposed to be on Court, laid crumpled on the locker room floor. Riko had left all the lights on in this particular section of lockers, a spotlight for anyone to see what he did to Kevin.

Ugly, red bruising lined the side of Kevin’s face and his left eye was swollen. His nose was bleeding and blood had splattered the floor underneath his head. Tears had streaked down his face and sweat plastered his hair to his forehead. His breathing had turned to gasping. It sounded like Kevin’s lungs were collapsing in on themselves. Nathaniel feared that they actually were, but then he caught sight of what the epicenter of all this pain and panic was.

Kevin had his right hand cradled to his chest. However, Nathaniel’s eyes were fixed upon his left and he felt like he was going to be sick at the sight.

Kevin’s left hand, his playing hand, was destroyed. Bone protruding, angled in directions that Nathaniel knew bone shouldn’t. The skin of his hand was completely torn apart, bleeding from more than a few cuts. Every time Kevin moved slightly, every time his hand shifted, he cried out in pain, louder each time.

After three tries, Nathaniel finally found his voice. “Your playing hand’s destroyed.” He hadn’t known what to say. He had a feeling that wasn’t it, but it was the truth.

Kevin barely even showed that he heard Nathaniel, but he didn’t wait around for an answer. There were enough paper towels in the bathrooms to clean this up, to clean Kevin up. After collecting all the towels and finding a bucket to fill water with, Nathaniel realized that the act of cleaning Kevin up was much harder than he ever thought it would be. Every time he even tried to move Kevin, a scream of pain broke out of him. After five minutes of that, Nathaniel knew that if he wanted to finish the job Riko gave him, he had to quit stopping whenever Kevin screamed.

Nathaniel didn’t expect to be so mentally exhausted, but cleaning blood off a shattered hand and watching Kevin resort from panicked breathing to full on breakdown with shaking and sobbing and inability to get even one steady breath in, can take a toll on a person.

But he did get the blood cleaned up and Kevin sitting upright, so that had to be some sort of victory.

When Kevin’s breathing finally calmed down, Nathaniel said, “Riko told me to deal with you.” He paused. “I don’t know what he meant by that.”

“Just please… don’t hurt me.” Kevin’s voice sounded so broken. The fact that he thought Nathaniel would fuck him up more than he already was made Nathaniel feel nauseous.

“I’m not,” he defended himself. “I just… he told me...” Nathaniel trailed off, trying to find the right words. He came up blank; he wasn’t one for comfort, and he had a feeling Kevin wouldn’t listen. Instead, he went for, “Why did Riko do this to you?”

At first, Kevin didn’t answer. After a minute of silence, Nathaniel was ready to give up when Kevin finally answered, “The Master held Riko and I after practice because he wanted to tell us something.” A pause. “The ERC believes that Riko is holding me back. They think I would flourish more as an athlete if I was the captain. They also… think that I would be Court’s first priority over Riko.

“The Master made us have a face-off to see who’s the better striker. When he and my mother played together, he was the goalkeeper. He had us shoot for fifteen minutes one after the other. If it was anyone else, it would have been worthless. A regular striker and a regular goalkeeper doesn’t mean anything. But it’s the two sons of Exy and one of the founders. It really did say something about who scored more.”

“And it was you,” Nathaniel wasn’t asking a question. He already knew the answer.

Kevin nodded. “Three-two, me. I broke the tie in the last ten seconds. The Master didn’t say anything else, just dismissed us. He went to his office on the other side of the court, and we went here and then… this.”

It didn’t take long for all the pieces to click into place in Nathaniel’s brain. For all of Riko and Kevin’s life at Castle Evermore, even when they were kids, they were compared. The two kids of Exy, one had to be better than the other. They never got a chance to see who the true heir of Exy was, though. The pair never played against each other, never had a reason to. At least, not until the ERC itself was growing curious. Perhaps that made Tetsuji curious, too, and he had to see who was the winner. And it was Kevin. And that derailed Riko’s plan to be the best Exy player there ever was. So, in a fit of jealous rage, he destroyed Kevin’s playing hand.

“You won’t be able to play,” Nathaniel said stupidly.

“Thanks, I didn’t realize that yet, jackass,” Kevin glared at him.

Nathaniel opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself when he heard the locker room door be kicked open. Both him and Kevin froze as they locked eyes. However, Kevin’s eyes broke away from Nathaniel’s and looked behind him. When Kevin paled so much he almost looked green, Nathaniel felt his stomach drop. He looked over his shoulder and saw Riko approaching them in workout clothes, a bag in his hand.

“Good to see you two are finally finished with the pity party,” Riko said casually, admitting that he’d been listening the entire time. “I was never good with comforting words.”

And then, at the sight of Riko’s cocky smile, something inside Nathaniel was set aflame. Rage burned through his body and seared him inside out until he felt his cheeks flush with heat and his hands shake. He was blinded with an anger so fierce that his insides coiled. “You fucking piece of shit,” Nathaniel wasn’t thinking, and he just let the insults and curses roll off his tongue. He turned on Riko, stomping over to him. “He breaks a tie between the two of you and you break his playing hand? What the fuck is the matter with you? How could you-”

Riko shoved Nathaniel so hard against one of the lockers he felt his head smack against it. Pain erupted in the back of his head but he didn’t get much time to worry about it because now Riko had him by the neckline of his shirt. “You watch the way you fucking speak to me,” Riko snapped. “Don’t forget who owns you. You were given one job: to deal with this pathetic mess. You’ve done it. You’re dismissed, and if I hear anyone talk about this, you will not live to see another day.” Nathaniel knew Riko was one-hundred-percent serious. “Am I clear?”

“Crystal,” Nathaniel bit back. His blood was boiling with rage, but he valued his life too much to test Riko.

“You’re dismissed,” Riko repeated. He pushed Nathaniel away before turning back to Kevin. “Put these on, we’re going for a little run.”

Nathaniel should have kept going. He was dismissed twice by Riko, and Riko hated repeating himself. But Nathaniel was apoplectic with rage and had an attitude problem. “You two are doing what?” he snapped back to Riko.

“Didn’t I say you were fucking dismissed?” Riko shouted, turning back to face Nathaniel.

“Nathaniel,” Kevin said before the other two could say anything. The look on his face was one of desperation. “Just go!”

After one last look at the scene before him and Kevin’s desperation, Nathaniel decided that it was in his best interest to go. He left the locker room seething and entered his room the same way.

It seemed like Nathaniel had just fallen asleep when his door was pushed open and the lights were flicked on. The light had already woken him up but his mind was cleared from all haze when he heard Riko’s voice saying, “Get up and go to the lounge. _Now._ ”

Nathaniel immediately recalled what he had seen before and was at once filled with rage. He sat up and feigned confusion when Jean shot him a look. Nathaniel rubbed his eyes and saw that the bedside clock said it was one-a.m.  

Nathaniel and Jean shuffled into the lounge with the other tired and confused Ravens. He noticed that Riko was still in his workout clothes, and there was no Kevin in sight. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying something. Andrew trailed in not long after him, his black armbands poking out from his too-short pajama sleeves. Nathaniel wondered if he slept with them on.

When Riko saw that everyone was here, he started off with, “Something terrible happened while Kevin and I were out on our run. I just got back from the hospital, Coach Tetsuji is still there with Kevin.”

Riko fell silent after that, letting this words and the suspense drown everyone in the room. The team shared looks with each other before all turning their attention back to their captain, who had yet to say anything more. “Can you tell us what happened?” Reacher, a backliner, finally asked.

“I- I can’t talk about it,” Riko said. Nathaniel would have found Riko’s feigned worry laughable if the rest of the team wasn’t hanging onto every word he said. “Coach Tetsuji just wanted me to tell you all this, and that we’re meeting at eight tomorrow in the locker room lounge to talk about what happened, and what it means for this season.”

At the mention of whatever happened having an effect on the upcoming season, the tired Ravens managed to get worked up into a chatter. Some were begging Riko to tell them what happened to Kevin, others were already expressing doubts about their rank in Exy.

“I can’t say anything,” Riko said, holding his hands up and cutting them all off. “It’s for Coach Tetsuji to say, not me. Just know that… things are changing. Now, all of you, go back to bed.”

The Ravens complied. All except Nathaniel and Andrew, who stood back a moment to stare through Riko. Nathaniel was sickened by Riko’s lie and how easily the team believed it; Andrew looked like he knew something wasn’t adding up right, but he didn’t quite know what it was.

Riko kept his eyes alternating between the two of them. Finally, Andrew slowly turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Perhaps he realized he couldn’t find an answer by just staring down Riko, or perhaps he realized that he really didn’t care what happened to Kevin. Nathaniel could never figure out his stance on the striker (or, well, ex-striker now).

Riko’s eyes then turned to Nathaniel. He didn’t speak until he heard the soft sound of Andrew’s door closing. “What do you want now?”

“How did you get him to a hospital?” Nathaniel asked and crossed his arms.

“I thought I told you that if I heard anyone talk about this, I would kill you.” Riko’s harsh words didn’t match up with his bored expression.

“I thought ‘anyone’ meant ‘anyone but me’, my apologies,” but Nathaniel was obviously not sorry. “So how did you get him to a hospital without them asking too many questions?”

Riko seemed to consider his options. Nathaniel guessed that Riko realized it was better to just tell him than be bothered by his questions when he stepped closer, lowered his voice, and said, “We didn’t. The Moriyamas have people for everything. You would know, your father is our executioner. Now, unless you would like to see him again, I suggest you stop asking questions and fuck off.”

Nathaniel found it laughable that Riko thought he had enough power to control Lord Kengo Moriyama’s lackeys, let alone his executioner.

“Well, I would like a birthday and a Christmas card from him every now and then. If you could arrange that, that would be great.” Riko’s sudden slap burned Nathaniel’s cheek, but Nathaniel still gave him a smirk in return.

It was when Nathaniel entered his room that the anger finally evaporated and was quickly replaced by the cold realization of what exactly had happened that night. Riko had destroyed Kevin’s hand. Kevin couldn’t play Exy anymore. Riko made Nathaniel go deal with Kevin. Nathaniel blindly jumped to fight Riko for Kevin. Riko so easily fought back. Nathaniel talked back to Riko. Riko slapped Nathaniel in the middle of the lounge.

Nathaniel thought of Kevin’s fucked up hand, of the protruding bone and all the blood and all the screaming. Nathaniel thought of how he was so stupid to stand up to Riko, but he did it for Kevin. Nathaniel thought of how easy it would have been for Riko to be rid of him too; Riko didn’t handle people directly talking back to him. Riko so easily could have killed them both, one for crossing Riko’s boundaries, the other for crossing Riko.

Nathaniel swallowed any weak feelings and nausea and replaced it once again with anger.

Nathaniel barely slept that night. When he did, it was in short bursts, ten minutes there, half hour here, but never long enough to feel rested, never long enough for be rid of the feeling that Riko was going to attack Kevin, attack Jean, attack him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!! oh my god!!! thank you all for the AMAZING feedback on the first chapter, you guys are the reason i write!!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)
> 
> also, lmk what you think abt the update schedule being monday-friday. should i space it out more? should i do more than two updates a week?
> 
> feedback is appreciated, and my tumblr is @ allisonreynoldsofficial !!!


	4. chapter three

At seven-fifty-five that morning, the Ravens were seated in the locker room lounge. No one was changed yet, it was indeterminate what was even happening with practice. There was still no sign of Kevin, and Nathaniel was still livid when he saw Riko. Riko was still feigning concern for his teammate, and Nathaniel was the only one who saw through it.

Nathaniel was sitting next to Jean. He appeared uninterested, idly looking around the room as if he was trying to find something to hold his attention. Nathaniel didn’t miss him tapping his fingers in an erratic beat on his thigh. Andrew sat in the chair to the right of Jean, his head resting lazily on his hand. And Riko sat in the chair closest to the door, leaning back and taking in the surroundings around him. He was probably trying to calculate which striker would best replace Kevin. Nathaniel’s hand tightened on the arm of his couch.

All eyes went to Coach Tetsuji as he walked in and whatever chatter there was quickly died out. Their coach’s eyes skimmed over all of them before he started, “So Riko informed you all that something has happened with Kevin?” When he was met with eager nods, he continued, “Last night, at about nine-forty-five when Riko and Kevin were on their usual run, Kevin was struck in a hit and run.

“They were just on the edge of campus, by the crosswalk, when the driver came up over the curb and hit straight into Kevin. With the fact that the driver came off the road, we assume that they were drunk, but we cannot really know. The car didn’t stop. Riko called nine-one-one from the nearest payphone, and then called me. Kevin was admitted to the hospital unconscious, but fortunately there were no fatal problems.

“Unfortunately, however, the accident did not leave Kevin alright by any means. He has many bruises and cuts, and doctors think a slight concussion, too. Also,” Tetsuji paused. “The accident shattered Kevin’s left hand.”

Tetsuji stopped speaking to let all that information settle over his team.

For a moment, Nathaniel didn’t think that anyone would believe what Tetsuji was telling them. A drunk driver had a hit and run with Kevin on campus, did that much damage, and this was the first time they were hearing about it? How could something so tragic (and so public) that happened to Kevin not reach the Raven’s ears?

It took a moment for it to hit Nathaniel and a cold chill went down his spine when everything clicked together.

The Ravens were completely isolated from the rest of Edgar Allan. While all other athletes stayed in the athletic dormitories, the Ravens lived under their stadium. The Ravens didn’t attend actual classes, they had tutors that dealt with three or four of them at a time. If the Ravens weren’t in the Nest, they were training with at least one other Raven, if not the whole team.

Tetsuji  _ claimed _ that he kept them all separate to free them of distractions. Outside forces could have a negative effect on their rank in the ERC. Their coach  _ claimed  _ that he wanted their mindset completely focused on Exy.

But really, what better way to carry out the conduct of the Moriyamas and get away with it than to keep his Ravens away from the people who knew the truth? It didn’t matter that there was no drunk driver, it didn’t matter that there was no hit and run. The Ravens weren’t involved in the public life to find out. The Ravens would believe anything Tetsuji said because they never knew anything different.

The only reason Nathaniel didn’t believe it was because he saw the damage with his own eyes, and saw it in the locker room they were in right now. If he hadn’t been there, he would have been believing Tetsuji just like every other Raven was.

Nathaniel shook his head in disagreement, but at that moment everyone took it as disbelief that this was something that happened to one of their prodigies. Everyone in the room was tense. Jean’s fingers continued their erratic tapping. Even Andrew, who still held a facade of apathy, had his hands clenched around the arms of his chair.

Nathaniel looked to Riko and saw that the latter already had his eyes on him. His eyes bore holes in Nathaniel, making sure that he doesn’t step out of line and say anything. In all the anger Nathaniel felt, a part of him felt a sense of satisfaction at how much Riko depended on him to keep his gruesome secret.

“That’s his playing hand,” someone said, Nathaniel didn’t catch who.

Tetsuji nodded. “I… I have a feeling that Kevin won’t be playing Exy again. The doctor believes that injury is too severe to ever heal to a state where he could safely use his left hand again. We will have to drop Kevin from his contract for the Ravens. He’s coming back in two days after the surgery on his hand. He already knows.”

It took all but a second for all the Ravens to erupt. All but Riko, Nathaniel, and Andrew. Through all the shouting over one another, all demanding what this means for their season, all begging to find the non-existent driver involved in the non-existent accident, Riko, Nathaniel, and Andrew said nothing. They were part of the inner circle, those around them would think that they were just in shock upon hearing that they were losing their number two. No one would ever consider the fact that Riko was the one who did it, Nathaniel was the one bound to secrecy, and Andrew was beginning to assume that foul play was in order.

Coach Tetsuji cut them off, telling them that they had to cut the talk short because they had a practice to run. No one defied him. They all fell back into line and left to get ready for practice as quickly as they broke into chaos.

Nathaniel was suddenly sickened by their hivemind. The Ravens so quickly believed everything they heard, so quickly broke into chaos and came back to their senses, so quickly dropped everything going on to return to Exy. Nathaniel always saw something off with the Ravens because those who were bought by the Moriyamas tended to have a different perspective than those who were recruited. But it was never enough to prompt him to really step back and look at the environment they were subjected to. He always thought the isolation was a bit odd, but he never considered it a problem until he realized they all believed Tetsuij’s and Riko’s lies so quickly. He always saw how obsessive everyone was with Exy, but he didn’t realize how consuming it was until everyone dropped the thought of one of their best teammates being seriously injured so that they could practice as normal. He thought back to a couple weeks ago, when Jean repeated what Riko said about Kevin putting Andrew in his place; he thought about how all the Ravens ended up having similar thoughts and opinions on topics, teams, teammates; he thought about how they all listened to each other because it was just a thing Ravens do. The Ravens didn’t think for themselves, they just believed what others told them and what others thought because that was what had always been done. Nathaniel trailed behind the rest of the team into the locker room and suddenly could see all the manipulation that had been done to them.

How many lies had been fed to them that they so blindly believed because Tetsuji was their main form of authority? How many things have they just nodded along to because Riko, their captain, said so?

Nathaniel felt nauseous that, after all these years of being in Castle Evermore and seeing Ravens through the generations until he finally became one, it took him this long to realize how truly fucked up things were. He lived his whole life knowing that he was property, that Jean would be the only person truly on his side. He lived his life in isolation. He lived a life of torture and abuse from his captain. And he hated it. But he hated it for the wrong reason. He hated it because he didn’t have a different life, when really he should have been hating it because it fucked up the life he had now.

Every Raven had a love-hate relationship with the Raven dynamic. They all grew to hate each other and to then end up hate-fucking each other. They all were rivals to a degree, fighting for spots on Court. They were all compared to each other, pit up against each other, fought each other, fucked each other. But they all came together for two things: Exy, and destroying whatever was in their way. So yes, they had a love-hate relationship, but they didn’t hate the life they were all living. They learned to hate everything about each other, but never took a step back to see that their environment and how they lived now was what made them all be like this.

As they all stepped onto the court for practice, all Nathaniel could think about how was, for the first time, he would love to never see the court again. Today, even Exy was tainted for him. He hoped that would change, because sometimes Exy was the only thing that made him feel alive.

As Nathaniel stepped out onto the court, he remembered how he once heard that a group of ravens was called a conspiracy. He could see why.

\--

Kevin was a shell of himself when he came back. Over the years, Nathaniel and Kevin had grown apart; however, he knew that the quiet Kevin, the Kevin sitting on the bench, the Kevin unable to look at the court, the Kevin with the wrapped hand and bruised body, was not the Kevin Day that Nathaniel knew. Kevin looked dead inside from the moment he re-entered the Nest. Nathaniel was besides himself when Kevin returned to his room with Riko, but it made sense because what other choice did Kevin have? Just because Kevin didn’t have a contract with the Ravens didn’t mean that they were just going to kick him out of the Nest, therefore, Kevin still had to live with Riko.

After seeing what Riko would easily do, Nathaniel actually felt scared for Kevin whenever he went into his room with Riko. And then he grew livid, because Riko was going to get away with this. Riko had his uncle’s lie to back him up, Kevin would never say anything, and Nathaniel would be killed if he said anything.

The Ravens were going to continue to believe that Kevin was hit by a car, Riko was going to continue to get away with being a hazard to everyone around him, and Nathaniel had to watch it all and be unable to do anything.

Nathaniel so badly wanted to do _ something _ . He wanted to fight back, expose the truth. He wanted to make the Ravens open up their eyes and finally see the lies and manipulation and abuse that it had taken himself so long to see. He felt like he couldn’t stand by anymore and let these things happen. But if he spoke the truth, he knew that no one would believe him. Everyone naturally trusted Tetsuji and Riko. They were who had power in the team, of course people would believe them. Nathaniel was a nobody from nowhere, no one would even considering believing what he had to say.

And if Nathaniel said anything, it wouldn’t matter if no one believed him, because Riko would still murder him. And he was no good to the team, no good to Kevin, if he was dead.

Besides, he wouldn’t be able to do that to Jean. Jean and him were paired together, which meant that their successes were viewed as a dual effort, but so were their failures. If Nathaniel stepped out of line, both he and Jean would be hurt. In this entire thing, this entire fucked up thing, Jean was innocent. He was just trying to survive like Nathaniel was, like they all were. Jean didn’t deserve consequences from a fault that was never his.

But during the two days since Kevin’s return, the two days that felt like an eternity, the one question that plagued Nathaniel’s mind was Andrew. Andrew hadn’t been there when Nathaniel found Kevin. He wasn’t there before, during the leading duo’s match. There was no way that Andrew knew because Riko would never tell the truth, Kevin was too scared, and Nathaniel wasn’t stupid enough.

And yet, Nathaniel didn’t miss the way Andrew looked at Riko. No one else would have thought anything different of them, but he recognized the look in Andrew’s eyes. It was a look of distrust, like something wasn’t adding up right but he couldn’t put it together. It was a look Nathaniel knew all too well.

Nathaniel wished he could see what was going on in Andrew’s mind. Maybe he was on the verge of the breakthrough Nathaniel had just had. Maybe Andrew could see the faults in Riko and Tetsuji’s lie. Or maybe Andrew never believed in the Ravens from the start, and was now trying to piece together all the lies so that everything made sense.

Nathaniel didn’t know. He was confused. His head hurt all the time now and his blood boiled at the sight of Riko. He just had a feeling that he wasn’t the only one who was onto Riko, and what he had done to their best striker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading!!! as always, feedback is appreciated!!! love all of u
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	5. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for extreme violence

On the third night Kevin was back in the Nest with a null contract, he didn’t show up for practice. For all Nathaniel knew, he wasn’t obligated to show up. Coach Tetsuji seemed not to care, but Nathaniel didn’t miss Riko’s jaw tighten when he saw that Kevin still wasn’t sitting on the bench after their warm-up laps. It was obvious that Riko wanted Kevin to see what he can’t do anymore, what Riko will succeed at and what he won’t. Kevin not showing up to practice was his way of saying “hey, fuck you” to Riko without actually doing anything to insult Riko.

Nathaniel found satisfaction in how easily Riko lost his composure when Kevin watching his every mood. Riko was awful to them all in practice, which was terrible, but it was all because Kevin wasn’t there watching.

Nathaniel just hoped that Kevin would be okay when Riko and the rest of the team returned.

When they did all return to the Nest, however, it became apparent that that wouldn’t have to be a worry. For after checking both red and black sides of the Nest, after scourging each room and lounge, after having everyone recheck locker rooms and the court, after flipping over each mattress in Riko and Kevin’s room and tearing apart each closet and anything that could hide a person, after calling Tetsuji to call the campus and turning up blank, Nathaniel realized that Kevin wouldn’t have to worry about Riko anymore.

There was no Kevin in the Nest. There was no Kevin in Castle Evermore. There was no Kevin in Edgar Allen. In the time that the Ravens were at practice, Kevin had grabbed his wallet and walked out of Castle Evermore into the night and no one had seen him. 

Nathaniel would have actually cheered for Kevin if he wasn’t terrified of what Riko was about to do to him and Jean.

Riko’s temper tantrums involved a lot of collateral damage. No, with what they were about to face, “temper tantrum” was a humorous understatement. Riko’s  _ rage _ , Riko’s  _ wrath _ , involved a lot of collateral damage. And it always bounced back to Jean and Nathaniel. Riko wouldn’t lay a hand on his team mates, they weren’t  _ his _ . But Nathaniel and Jean? They were his property. They were always going to be property.

Nathaniel liked to pretend that he wasn’t terrified of Riko, that the sight of him, before making his blood burn, didn’t make him feel sick to his stomach. Nathaniel liked to pretend that he was fearless, that not even Riko could truly hurt him. When Riko wasn’t hurting them, it was easy to pretend. A couple weeks ago, it was easy to tell Jean that they had no choice but to survive because Riko hadn’t touched them in a while. Pretending was easy when you could imagine that your nightmare was done haunting your dreams, that it had finally seen reason and realized that it didn’t have to hurt others to relieve its own pain; but life was not as easy as pretending was. Nathaniel could pretend all he wanted, he could pretend that he was fearless and that he found joy in aggravating Riko. He could pretend that cursing at Riko a couple nights ago and provoking him until he slapped Nathaniel in the middle of the lounge gave him satisfaction instead of making him want to vomit because Riko so easily could have disposed of them. He could pretend all he wanted until he believed it. He almost did, that false belief was what gave Nathaniel the courage to stand up to Riko the night he broke Kevin’s hand. But the things he played pretend as would never be real. Riko would never stop coming after them.

Any facade Nathaniel strived to keep was wiped away by pure, cold fear that made his stomach churn and his knees shake and all he could think of was how much easier it would be for him to not be a person in that moment. Riko was screaming something at him and Jean, screaming something that Nathaniel couldn’t hear because his ears were ringing and he felt like he was worlds away.

Nathaniel didn’t remember him and Jean moving to their bedroom, but when Riko hit him across the face it was powerful enough to knock him to the ground and he was staring at his storage under his bed. His stomach hurt and it took him a couple of moments to realize that Riko had kicked him repeatedly in the gut while he was down.

Riko then grabbed Nathaniel by the neck of his shirt and punched him twice again, one in the jaw, one in his right eye. He had his fingers around Nathaniel’s neck and he slammed his head to the ground. Nathaniel tried using his fingers to scrape Riko’s hands from his throat, but nothing worked and panic started to fill him and Riko didn’t move until Nathaniel registered Jean’s voice. Jean was shouting but Nathaniel couldn’t make out what he was saying. All Nathaniel really took in was Riko leaving him and moving to Jean, punching him twice, once to stagger him, twice to get him to the floor, and kicking him, too, once he was down.

He had expected Riko to draw a knife on them. Perhaps he had forgotten it.

Nathaniel realized Riko was finished with them when he was towering over them. Only then did Nathaniel’s brain start to register was Riko was saying.

“-two better fucking watch what you’re doing,” Riko threatened. “Things are changing around here, we don’t need you two fuck ups making anything worse.”

Riko left the room and Nathaniel stared up at the ceiling. His face throbbed and he could feel blood dripping down it. His gut ached from Riko’s foot. His head was sore from hitting the floor. He could still feel Riko’s fingers around his neck.

Nathaniel didn’t realize Jean had left and returned with a medkit and ice, but suddenly his cuts were being cleaned and ice was being pressed to his bruises.

His fear was washed away and replaced with hatred. In that very moment, as he stared up at the ceiling, Nathaniel decided that he hated every single one of the Ravens. He hated Riko, because Riko hurt him and hurt Jean and hurt Kevin and will continue to hurt people. He hated Kevin because Kevin escaped and Nathaniel and Jean had to deal with the aftermath. He hated Jean because Jean didn’t get as terrible of a beating. He hated the other Ravens because they knew what Riko constantly did to Nathaniel and Jean and let it stay unspoken but accepted and they never did anything to stop Riko. He hated the other Ravens because they would see Riko do this to two people in his Top Five, but would never believe Nathaniel if he told them that Riko was the one who broke Kevin because  _ the leading duo would never do that to each other _ . He hated the other Ravens for their hivemind. He hated Tetsuji for letting this happen, for he too knew that Riko was collateral damage, specifically to Nathaniel and Jean. He hated Tetsuji for implementing the hivemind. And finally, Nathaniel hated himself for letting this be done to him. He hated himself for not seeing the hivemind earlier. He hated himself for that fact that it had to be Kevin getting his hand broken for Nathaniel to realize that the Ravens were manipulated into believing everything their captain and coach said. He hated how weak he really was, and how his facade that he could stand up to Riko was officially broken.

“Nathaniel, you should really get up,” Jean said lowly after he bandaged all of Nathaniel’s cuts. “We have practice in the morning, and it won’t be good if you stay on the floor for the night. It will only be worse for us tomorrow if we underperform in practice.”

“I can take care of myself,” Nathaniel mumbled, though he made no effort to move.

“Nathaniel, please, let me at least help you get up into your bed,” Jean’s voice was laced with concern and Nathaniel hated the pity in his voice but he knew that in that very moment he was extremely pathetic.

“I’m fine,” Nathaniel lied.

“Don’t say that, you’re obviously-”

“Leave me alone, Jean,” Nathaniel snapped at him, shutting Jean right up. Nathaniel didn’t want to deal with anyone at this moment. He was in pain and hated everyone around him and himself and he didn’t want to see any Ravens, not even his one ally in this shitshow.

Jean nodded slowly and moved from his position of kneeling next to Nathaniel. He left two ice packs on Nathaniel’s side table before heading over to his own side of the room. Nathaniel heard him change and get into bed and saw the light on his side flick off, but Nathaniel didn’t make to move until the floor was making his back hurt, too.

He managed to get himself into bed and pressed one ice pack to his torso, the other to his cheek. Though, sleep never came. He spent the entire night staring at the ceiling, thinking about how fear and hatred had consumed him, how Kevin was probably treated the same way Nathaniel and Jean were, how Riko got away with all of this because Tetsuji and the Ravens let him, how his entire body throbbed in pain.

\--

When morning came, Nathaniel had not gotten a minute of sleep, and his body was lugged down with pain and exhaustion. He flinched when Riko banged on his bedroom door as he did every morning to signal for them all to get up for practice. He could still feel Riko hitting him and knew that his injuries had only gotten worse over night.

With each movement Nathaniel made to get out of bed and change, each step he took to get himself out into the core of the Nest, his body screamed with pain. He felt Jean’s eyes on his back, watching his every movement for a sudden collapse. The other Ravens averted their stare as they always did because they weren’t supposed to acknowledge that this was something that was done and that this was  _ wrong _ . The only one who looked at him was Andrew, and he even stopped in front of Nathaniel to halt his walking.

“Not now, Andrew,” Nathaniel’s voice was barely over a whisper and he hated himself for sounding so weak. 

Andrew didn’t say anything; he just gave him a once over before sidestepping out of his way. Nathaniel felt his eyes watching him as he headed up the stairs to the locker room.

Practice was even more painful than Nathaniel expected. Jenkins was officially filling in for Kevin. But she was Jenkins and not Kevin, she obviously wouldn’t be able to be on the same wavelength as Riko. So, whenever she performed not quite up-to-par, Riko would lose it.

When Nathaniel was body-checked and shoved to the ground, he thought his entire body was going to snap in half. Moving hurt, breathing hurt, and in that very moment, even existing hurt. For the first time in a long time, Nathaniel felt like crying but he didn’t even had the energy to do that.

Jean had to practically deadlift Nathaniel off the floor. For the rest of practice Nathaniel only remembered pain. He couldn’t recall what was said to him, what drills they had done, anything. One moment, he was there, the next, he was sitting on his bed staring down at his hands.

He was stuck in his own mind. He wanted so badly to fight back. He wanted Riko’s biggest regret in life to be laying a hand on Kevin, Nathaniel, and Jean. He wanted Riko to feel all the pain, all the abuse he endured. He wanted Riko to know what it felt like to be numb to the pain and then have it suddenly all rush into your veins so quickly and so forcefully that it choked you and left you feeling nauseated. He wanted his anger back. His anger fueled him to push harder. He wanted his fear gone and his motivation back. In less than a day, Nathaniel had managed to lose all the fight in him and it was all because of Riko. Riko made all their lives living hell; he destroyed Kevin, he tortured Jean and Nathaniel, and he was going to get away with it. And that… exhausted Nathaniel. It struck him hopeless and he had no clue what he was going to do, no clue if he would ever survive. He had to, he had to follow his own words, but being a person was so hard.

He wanted to stop looking at his hands for answers, but it was easier to stare at them than to see Jean’s pitied look. The room between them was too quiet. Their breathing could barely be heard. No one fidgeted or moved around the room. They were both ready to let the silence swallow them.

It felt like hours, months, years, until Jean said, “Riko will let up eventually.” It was more reassurance than truth.

“He won’t until he gets Kevin back,” Nathaniel said to his hands. “And no one knows where he is. He could be in a different state, or across the country.” He paused. “Or dead. And then we would be truly fucked because then we would never get him back and Riko would then beat us until the day he died. Or killed us. Whatever came first.”

“Don’t say things like that. Weren’t you the one who said we had to survive?” Jean asked, throwing Nathaniel’s words back at him.

“Yeah, well, surviving is really fucking hard right now.” The words felt bitter coming out of his mouth. There was one thing admitting that you weren’t strong enough, were never strong enough, to yourself; it was another to say it out loud.

“Surviving was never easy, and out of everyone here, we know that the best,” Jean moved from his spot on his bed. The force behind Jean’s voice was not something Nathaniel had heard in awhile. “We’re allies here. No one else has our back but each other. You cannot go and quit on me now, because then guess what? We both lose. And I didn’t work my ass of to survive getting to the Ravens to lose it all because of this. So yes, we don’t have Kevin anymore. We lost him after the hit and run when his hand was shattered. And yes, we have to deal with Riko. But we have to survive while doing it. So don’t you dare fucking give up on me now, Nathaniel Wesninski, because then you’re dragging both of us to the grave.”

Nathaniel finally looked up at Jean. Jean’s pity was gone and was replaced with something that almost looked like anger. And that made Nathaniel feel something that seemed like satisfaction. It outweighed the disappointment in his chest at hearing Jean speak the lie about Kevin’s injury. “There’s the spine I knew you had,” he mumbled.

If Nathaniel had to suffer through the Ravens, if he had to endure Riko and all the pain, if he was going to continue to see their captain get away with doing whatever he wanted, he was going to survive it. He had to. He owed it to Jean, since whatever happened to one happened to the other. He owed it to Kevin, because Riko made it so that Kevin couldn’t survive. He owed it to Riko, to show him that he could not so easily destroy him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! feedback, kudos, and reblogs are appreciated!!! 
> 
> next update: september 11th
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	6. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> predators of the raven: great horned owls, northern goshawks, bald eagles, golden eagles, and hawks

Nathaniel’s phone buzzing next to his pillow was what woke him up.  He smacked his hand around trying to find it, wondering how the morning came so fast. However, it was not his alarm waking him up, it was an unknown number calling him at four in the morning.

With only a slight hesitation, he answered it and placed his phone to his ear. “Hello?” he whispered, keeping wary eyes on his sleeping roommate.

“Nathaniel, it’s me.”

He didn’t need confirmation to know who was on the other line. He would have recognized it anywhere. It was the voice that had screamed at him in practice, begged him to leave him unharmed; it was the voice he grew up hearing. 

“ _ Holy shit- _ ” Hearing Kevin Day’s voice on the other line a week after he disappeared made Nathaniel’s concept of volume control go out the window.

Kevin shushed him so loudly and so forcefully that Nathaniel was compelled to press a hand to his mouth. He stared at Jean as his roommate shifted at the noise and mumbled something incomprehensible. Nathaniel was finally able to breathe again when Jean stopped moving.

“Don’t say anything until I tell you to,” Kevin was whispering even though he wasn’t in the same room. It gave Nathaniel the frightful idea that Kevin was, yet again, not in the safest place.

“Where did you-”

“What did I just fucking say?” Nathaniel covered his mouth again and let Kevin go on. He heard him sigh on the other end. “Let me explain everything, and then I’ll answer any questions you have,” Kevin’s voice was so low that Nathaniel had to strain his ears to hear him, “I couldn’t stay there. With the Ravens. Living with Riko was never easy, and it just got worse after… what he did to my hand. When you left, we went to the Master and I watched as they made that bullshit story about a hit and run. They threatened to kill me if I said anything else, so that’s the story I have to tell anyone who asks. But, it was torture seeing him after that night. I wouldn’t be able to fight back if he came after me, I was terrified, and… and he knew that. He would use that to his advantage, telling me that if I stepped out of line again, if I continued to let Andrew be or even thought about stepping onto the court of Castle Evermore again, he would break my other hand. Or my legs. Or just get my left hand removed entirely, since he knew people that would do it for free.

“But that wasn’t all of it. Him threatening me, or lashing out like that, wasn’t a first time thing.” Kevin paused and Nathaniel’s blood ran cold at realizing that his guess as to what happened between their leading strikers was about to be proven true. “You and Jean weren’t the only ones who Riko went after. He went after you two when he needed to release his anger, or make a statement to the team. But… I’m sure you two already know that.” Nathaniel wanted to tell him that Riko had just beaten the shit out of both of them, but he didn’t know how to say that without telling Kevin it was because of him. “But he went after me when he felt threatened. That’s how it always was, ever since we were kids. People were always comparing us, and one was bound to be better than the other. Riko was always jealous, and that jealousy turned into blind rage and violence. When he found out that I was really the better striker, breaking my hand was only a warning. That’s why I left. I couldn’t handle it anymore, I couldn’t take any more abuse if it was to only get worse.” Neither of them said anything for a moment. “Now, any questions?”

“Where did you go?” Nathaniel whispered. He wanted to know how Kevin even knew a place to go to after being holed up with the Ravens for over ten years.

“Palmetto State. I’m in David Wymack’s apartment.”

Nathaniel didn’t respond for a moment. Palmetto State, home of the Foxes. The Foxes were a team of societal rejects; Coach David Wymack only took in athletes from troubled pasts. They were objectively the worst Class I team, and yet they somehow maintained their rank. And now Kevin Day, the Exy prodigy, had stepped into their territory. 

Kevin definitely had a troubled past, but that wasn’t the reason he went to Palmetto. If Nathaniel didn’t know the truth, he would have immediately launched into how Kevin put himself in the worst possible place for an Exy career, but he knew what was actually important.

“Wymack is-”

“My father, yes,” Kevin said. “He doesn’t know that, though.”

“Then why did he let you in?” Nathaniel asked. He decided to turn his back to Jean, that that would be a better way of masking his voice from his roommate. “How long have you even been there for?”

“I’ve been here for five days now,” Kevin answered. “And… he knows what happened with my hand. The truth. It was hard not to explain what really happened when I, Kevin Day, showed up to his apartment, which is a ways away from Evermore, with a broken hand. He knew I wouldn’t just go there if the hit and run story was true.” On any other day, Nathaniel would have called him out on using his name to show privilege. But he was right; who would turn away Kevin Day?

Nathaniel was surprised when Kevin let out a short laugh, but there was no good-will behind it. “He said he always felt something was off with the Ravens. There’s something off with the Foxes, too, but that’s more in regards to their talent than anything else.”

“Andrew’s brother and cousin are on the Foxes,” Nathaniel said, suddenly reminded. “Do they know? Does Andrew?”

“No, and no,” Kevin said rather quickly. “It’s Aaron and Nicky, and no they do not know and will not know unless they absolutely need to. And no, Andrew doesn’t know about this. He thinks that the hit and run is what happened, and he thinks that I just disappeared. I’ll have to be the one to talk to him about all of this.”

Nathaniel found that part odd. Despite all being in the inner circle, and Andrew not being stupid enough to blindly reject the truth, why would Kevin have to be the one to tell him? He then thought back to what Kevin said about wanting Andrew on the team for his potential. Nathaniel took his word then, but now he had a feeling there was something more.

“What’s with you and Andrew?” he asked. “I want the truth this time.”

Kevin sighed when he realized that Nathaniel caught the hole in his story. “The potential part wasn’t a lie,” Kevin started. “We did want to recruit him for his talent. But, as everyone knows, he rejected us at first.” Nathaniel nodded even though no one could see him. “But I kept contacting him to recruit him because he really does have the talent that the Ravens need. Riko wasn’t too happy that I was doing that. When he found out that I got permission to fly out to speak to Andrew again, alone, as long as I came back once the deal was made, he reacted as well as you can imagine. When I got out to Andrew’s high school again, the bruising around my eye wasn’t hard for him to miss, but he took notice of… the bruises on my neck.

“Andrew’s actually a lot smarter than he lets on. It didn’t take him long to put the pieces together. He told me that he would come to the Ravens if I could make a good enough deal for it. He was on his drugs at that time, and I told him I would make something of his life if he came to the Ravens. I don’t think he believed me, but he came anyway.” A pause. “He never said it, but I always had a feeling that he came to keep Riko off my back. Riko’s abuse couldn’t stop inside the dorm room, no one but us was allowed in if they didn’t have permission. But Andrew was always nearby, especially when Riko was around, and Riko would never touch me in public if there was an audience. Especially if that audience was Andrew.”

“Don’t tell me Riko’s afraid of Andrew,” Nathaniel said in disbelief.

“Riko fears no one,” Kevin said. “But Andrew has nothing to lose. If Riko ever attacked him, Andrew would have probably killed him. So, Andrew and I stuck together as much as possible outside of the dorm, and since I was barely in the dorm then, Riko’s abuse was minimized.”

“Except for that time in the locker room.”

“You really have the tendency to be in the wrong place in the wrong time,” The fact that Kevin knew exactly when he was talking about made Nathaniel realize that Andrew barely ever left Kevin’s side, even in the locker room. “I think you’re smart enough to know not to inform Riko that you were there.

“But remember what I said about not telling Andrew about this. I have to be the one to tell him. We have to work some things out. I have to make sure that he doesn’t kill Riko. Our deal is off, I’m not with the Ravens anymore so he doesn’t need to protect me, but Andrew doesn’t like Riko touching anything of his.”

“Anything of his?” Nathaniel repeated. “What do you mean?”

“When our deal was formed, so was an alliance. It was unspoken, but agreed on. Andrew’s a surprisingly loyal person, and he never reacted well in the first place to not being able to defend me the entire time with the Ravens. When he finds out that this happened right upstairs in the locker room, and he wasn’t there to stop it, he might murder Riko. I have to stop that.”

Andrew Minyard, Andrew who claimed not to care about anything, who appeared to hate everyone and everything Raven, gave his loyalty to Kevin Day, who was basically the exact opposite of him. Of all the things Nathaniel thought Andrew was, he didn’t expect “loyal” to be one of them.

“I have another question,” Nathaniel said when another thing concerning their goalkeeper came into his mind.

“You’re asking a lot of questions, Nathaniel.”

“I want a lot of answers, Kevin.”

“Fine,” Kevin said, huffing out a breath. “What?”

“Andrew’s brother and cousin are there. Are they asking you about him?” If Andrew was so keen on keeping Kevin safe, how was he in regards to his actual family?

“Nicky, his cousin, asks about Andrew a lot. Turns out, after his and Aaron’s mother’s death, he had to come back from living in Germany to be their legal guardian until they were of age. He ended up staying because he was offered a scholarship with Aaron. Aaron barely acts like Andrew exists, but I’m not surprised. Andrew barely acknowledged Aaron, too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Kevin said. “They’re not your picture-perfect family, but I doubt you expected that.”

“You’re with the Foxes now, but you can’t play. What are you going to do there?”

“I’m filling in as an assistant coach,” Kevin said. “I obviously can’t play, and the team needs it, they’re a trainwreck. I don’t know how many people on the Ravens know, but Tetsuji does.” Nathaniel wanted to interject but Kevin wouldn’t let him. “Wymack changed the circumstances, I don’t know if Tetsuji actually believed him or just didn’t care, but he let me go to the Foxes freely. As I said, I don’t know if anyone else knows. It’s useless to try to keep it a secret forever. It’s impossible to lay low here, reporters love this team for some reason. Maybe because they’re all fucked. I digress, but soon enough everyone is going to find out that I’m here. I don’t think I have to tell you to not go around saying shit, right?” When Nathaniel offered a noise of confirmation, Kevin finished with, “Now, do you have any final things you want to ask? Wymack gets up around this time.”

Nathaniel still had so many things he wanted to ask. He wanted to ask what he would do with the rest of his life if he couldn’t play Exy. He wanted to ask if Thea Muldani already knew, and if she did, if their relationship could finally be public. He wanted to know if David Wymack was the only reason he went to Palmetto, or if it was because the Foxes was the last team anyone would associate Kevin Day, Exy Prodigy, with. He could have talked to Kevin for hours, just trading questions and answers back and forth. However, the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “Will you keep in touch?”

“I’ll try.”

Him and Kevin exchanged goodbyes, and the line went out.

\--

Nathaniel felt a tap on his shoulder as he walked through the lounge of the Nest. Andrew then passed him, not even sparing him a glance over his shoulder, but Nathaniel was smart enough to put two and two together. He watched as Andrew headed into his dorm room before stalling in the lounge. Ravens were scattered about on couches and floors, all hovering over books or the sports stations on TV and no one spoke. He pretended like he was interested in whatever the newscaster was saying about a team that he didn’t catch the number of. He waited until he finished counting to one-hundred before heading to Andrew’s room.

He didn’t knock but, when he entered, Andrew was standing in the middle of the room, facing the door. Andrew had a roommate, Bryan Engle, but the two barely stayed together. Perhaps it was because Engle was too busy with his on-and-off girlfriend Jenkins, or perhaps it was because Andrew was too unbearable to live with. 

Either way, the two had as much privacy as they needed in Andrew’s room.

“You’re very surprising, Nathaniel,” Andrew said once the door was closed. His voice was monotone and he looked like he completely did not give a shit about him.

“Am I?” Nathaniel replied, approaching Andrew. He kept about a foot in between them.

“I hate surprises.”

“Do you?” He feigned surprise.

“Do you only answer in stupid questions?” Andrew asked. Despite the words that had some bite to them, his tone didn’t shift.

“What do you want, Andrew?”

“Once again, a stupid question.” Andrew cocked his head slightly to the right. “You know exactly what this is about.”

It was two days since Nathaniel talked to Kevin on the phone. He knew it wasn’t going to take long for him to contact Andrew. “You talked to Kevin.”

Andrew’s reply was enough for confirmation. “You have thirty seconds to tell me why I shouldn’t bash Riko’s skull in with my racket at practice.”

“Because you’re not a fucking idiot?”

“Wrong answer, with my self-destructive tendencies and all,” Andrew said, “Twenty-five, twenty-four…”

“You would probably be killed, too.”

“Twenty-two, twenty-one…”

If Nathaniel wasn’t positive that Andrew would actually kill Riko, he wouldn’t have thought so hard about what to say. But this was Andrew they were talking about, and after finding out about his and Kevin’s deal, Nathaniel knew that Andrew was only moments away from murder.

“Sixteen, fifteen…”

“If you kill Riko, that only solves one major problem, not all of them,” Nathaniel said. “Tetsuji still dominates all of us. The Ravens are still fucked to the very core. Killing Riko won’t be enough, we have to stop the Ravens all together.”

Hearing those words leave his mouth shocked Nathaniel so much that he fell silent. He had spoken off the cuff, not giving thought to what he was saying. And yet, he managed to finally put into words what he knew he had to do. All this pent up fear and anger and hatred were all pointing to the same answer. And that answer wasn’t just Riko, or Tetsuji, or the Nest. It was all three combined. Everything Nathaniel had felt recently had led him to this point, to this conclusion that to truly be rid of this torture, they had to kill every single part of the Ravens. And he had to do it with Andrew, for Andrew, too, knew what the Ravens could do. He was one of the only ones smart enough to not blindly trust their leaders.

He assumed he caught Andrew’s attention with his words, too, since he stopped counting down.

“So that’s why you shouldn’t kill Riko,” Nathaniel said. His thoughts in his mind were tumbling one over another at how quickly everything was finally piecing together. He couldn’t stop the Ravens alone, and the person he needed was only a few inches from him. “Because that won’t do anything. Cutting off a limb won’t kill something, you have to go for the jugular, the heart, every artery and vein.”

“Interesting,” Andrew said, staring blankly up at him. “I thought we came to the conclusion that I was the self-destructive one.”

“I am a very surprising person.”

“I thought we also came to the conclusion that I hated surprises. Or do I need to say it slower?”

“You want to get revenge? You need to work with me,” Nathaniel said. “You and I are a part of the inner circle, so we have a way in. And you and I know what the Ravens really are, and what Riko is really capable of doing.”

Andrew didn’t say anything. Nathaniel watched him, hoping with everything that he had that Andrew would agree, and fearing that he would tell Nathaniel to fuck off.

What Nathaniel didn’t expect Andrew to say was, “Give me your back.”

“What?”

Andrew shook his head. “You can’t be that stupid,” he said. “You can’t go in to destroying this shit show and not have a plan. Give me your back, because I doubt you can fight Riko on your own. To say I would keep Riko from you would be a lie, and I’m not a liar, but I can fight him with you. But you can’t be stupid about it, how Kevin was. To give me your back, you give me your time. You can’t just disappear. If Riko decides to smash your hand, too, and I’m not there to stop it, then you’re fucked. From here on out, you stick with me.”

“So it’s an alliance?” Nathaniel asked, unable to keep the shock out of his voice at the loyalty being offered to him.

“An alliance implies that I need you as much as you need me,” Andrew shook his head. “I do not need you.”

“Fine,” Nathaniel said with an eye roll. “So it’s not an alliance, just you making sure Riko doesn’t kill me, and me making sure Riko doesn’t kill you, but not an alliance.”

“Don’t make me kill-”

“What about Jean?” Nathaniel cut him off.

“What  _ about  _ Jean?” Andrew asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“He’ll get involved in this, too,” Nathaniel said. “Whatever happens to me, happens to him.” It was inevitable that Jean would get dragged into this mess. Jean Moreau had the unfortunate habit of always being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Well he isn’t involved in it now, and when he does, he’s your responsibility,” Andrew answered. “You gave me your back, so you’re mine.”

Nathaniel considered that for a moment. It made sense. Jean was Nathaniel’s ally in all of this, his _ actual _ ally. It was never Andrew’s job to make sure that he survived; it was always Nathaniel’s responsibility to make sure Jean wasn’t killed, and it was Jean’s to do the same for him.

“Where does Kevin fall into place in all of this?” Nathaniel asked.

“He won’t be opposed to watching this team crash and burn,” Andrew said. “He’ll know what he’ll have to do.”

Nathaniel knew that that meant another conversation was going to happen between Kevin and Andrew. He almost questioned how Andrew just knew that Kevin would listen to him, but then he remembered the loyalty Kevin said Andrew had, and how Kevin seemed to reciprocate it. He was doubtful, though, that Kevin would take to their plan so easily. Kevin worked together with Riko for practically his entire life, but it was also very evident that Kevin feared Riko. Nathaniel didn’t know if Kevin would be so accepting of this plan of theirs when their target was Riko. Especially when anything involving Riko could lead to mass destruction.

But Nathaniel found himself trusting Andrew’s words.

Something then occurred to Nathaniel. Kevin was coerced into making a deal with Andrew to get him to come to the Ravens. He expected that this deal wasn’t going to be done for free, either.

“What do you want in return? You have my back, what do you from me?”

“I want nothing,” Andrew said, and Nathaniel raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing at all,” he repeated. “You don’t even want a life after all of this shit is over? You don’t want to be something after the Ravens?”

Nathaniel found no amusement on Andrew’s face after hearing Kevin’s own words thrown back at him. “Surprising  _ and _ hilarious,” he said. “A fucking comedian.”

“You forgot interesting.” Nathaniel gave him a smirk.

He then saw something flash across Andrew’s eyes at hearing his petty statement. It looked like anger, like something dark was burning inside of Andrew. Nathaniel would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken back; in the time Nathaniel had known Andrew, he hadn’t seen any real expression of emotion. The flash of anger across his eyes was the closest he had seen to Andrew actually feeling anything.

“I never said you would keep my interest and I suddenly remember why I barely talked to you before this,” Andrew said, that look disappearing from his eyes. “It’s because I hate you and your attitude problem and your hard-on for Exy and everything else.”

Nathaniel ignored the insult. “So it’s a deal. I give you my back, I get you somewhere after this. If you change your mind, let me know.”

Andrew didn’t agree to it, but he didn’t deny it, either. “Get out of my room before I change my mind and let Riko kill you.”

Andrew Minyard, no matter how much he denied the label, had formed an alliance with him. Andrew Minyard, the outsider of the Top Five, had joined forces to destroy the very system they were meant to thrive in. No longer was it Riko and Kevin, Nathaniel and Jean, and then just Andrew (with Kevin tacked on loosely). No, it was now Nathaniel and Jean, Andrew and Nathaniel, and then just Riko. And if Kevin was back in, he didn’t even belong with Riko anymore. It was soon going to be Nathaniel, Andrew, and Kevin all against Riko. Nathaniel found satisfaction in knowing that Riko was never going to know what hit him when they all started their attack on the Ravens.

Nathaniel told Jean that he would survive with him. But surviving wasn’t enough anymore. Surviving meant settling for the way they lived. Surviving meant looking ahead and hoping for a future that might never come. Surviving was the way of the weak. Nathaniel couldn’t just survive with Jean anymore. He had to fight with Andrew, because Andrew and him were the ones who could destroy the Ravens from the inside. Nathaniel wouldn’t be able to stand himself if he just survived the Ravens and then let them be, allowing them to destroy all newcomers. No, Nathaniel Wesninski had to destroy the Ravens, and he had to do it with Andrew Minyard at his side. Andrew had Nathaniel’s back, had called him his, and he was going to be the one to fight side-by-side with.

Nathaniel mocked Andrew’s two-fingered salute back to the goalkeeper before turning on his heel and walking out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated!!! honestly, i looked forward to posting this chapter so much omg
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	7. chapter six

Kevin said it wouldn’t take long for the media to pick up on his whereabouts, and he was right. It took two days after Nathaniel’s talk with Andrew for the first report to be broadcasted. It was now officially two weeks since Kevin’s “hit and run”, and now May.

The report was broadcasted on the TV in the lounge of the Nest. At first, no one was paying attention to it. There was always a TV on playing sports news, it became background noise after a while. However, when the famous name “Kevin Day”, every Raven stopped whatever they moved and all pairs of eyes went the the TV.

“-quite a shame was happened to him, with that accident,” the newscaster said to her cohost. “And he had such a promising career ahead of him.”

“Yes, it is unfortunate. But, Kevin Day might have a new career ahead of him!” Every Raven went completely still. Riko, who had been lurking in the back, suddenly had an overwhelming presence. The co-host had a painted smile as he continued, “We’ve heard from various sources that Kevin Day, ex-striker for Edgar Allan’s Ravens, is now with the Palmetto State Foxes as an assistant coach. Despite the Foxes’... less than noteworthy reputation, many think that Day can be the one to whip the team up into shape and make them worthy of their Class I title.”

As one huge collective, all heads turned to Riko, who had not moved from the back of the lounge. His eyes stayed trained to the TV and his arms crossed over his chest. The look on his face was indecipherable, though Nathaniel noticed his fingers pressing into his biceps and how tight his jaw was. Nathaniel spared a glance to Jean at his right and Andrew at his left. Jean was the one to look back; Andrew just looked bored. Kevin wasn’t news to him anymore.

“If he thinks he can make that team anything better than a trainwreck,” Riko said to his audience though he made eye contact with no one. “Maybe the accident fucked up his brain too.”

Some Ravens muttered out agreements that the Foxes could get no better, others forced out laughs. But every single person in that room felt the tension thicken so much Nathaniel thought he would suffocate. The Ravens had officially lost their top striker two weeks ago. However, it was one thing to lose him to an “accident”. It was another thing entirely to lose him to the worst Class I team, the Palmetto Foxes. The former was an injury that caused his contract to be nulled. The latter was betrayal to his team at its finest.

If Nathaniel wasn’t preparing to destroy the Ravens, he would have been livid that Kevin left them for a team like the Foxes. But he already knew that that was a thing that happened, and he was already plotting the demise of the Ravens with Andrew. The only thing holding him back from sheer ecstaticness was waiting for Riko to explode.

Nathaniel, Jean, and even Andrew waited for Riko to flip his shit. They waited for shouting and throwing things. They waited for Riko to place the blame on everyone but himself, they if they had all just played harder Kevin would have wanted to stay and see them succeed. Nathaniel and Jean waited for blows, for kicks, for tugging and pulling and pushing and screaming and fighting and bleeding.

But as the three of them all watched Riko, none of that ever came. There was no shouting, no attacking, no explosions. Just a smirk on his lips and an evil glint in his eye. The red glow from some of the lights combined with the smirk made Riko look more devious than he did when he found out that Kevin escaped.

“Looks like we’ll just have to pay the Foxes a visit this season,” he said before turning and stalking out of the lounge. Nathaniel watched as he went up the stairs leading to the locker room, and he 

“Kevin Day will die on that team,” Jean said to Nathaniel. “The Foxes breed no successes.”

Nathaniel wanted to tell Jean that Kevin Day was already dying on the Ravens, but he couldn’t do that. Not with this many people around. 

Not yet.

When the evening came and the Ravens arrived to Castle Evermore, Tetsuji had them gather at outer court for a quick meeting. Nathaniel had Jean and Andrew at his side and Riko was across from them, shadowing his uncle. “I’m aware that you all saw the news earlier today.” When he was met with nods, he continued. “Kevin has signed a contract with David Wymack, coach of the Palmetto State Ravens. When he contacted me a couple nights ago, I debated whether or not to inform you all then. But I figured it might be better to not stack one tragedy on top of another, with Kevin having left so recently.” Nathaniel knew Tetsuji did not care that much about the well-being of his team to spread out delivering the news of Kevin being unable to play and then Kevin leaving for the Foxes. Perhaps, he just enjoyed seeing suspense and rumors plague his team.

Nathaniel’s eyes then went back to Riko, who did not look back at him but instead stared at his uncle. It was then that Nathaniel realized that this was also Riko’s first time hearing this news. Even when he went to speak with Tetsuji before, his uncle had not told him. Riko looked like he was considering speaking up, but Nathaniel knew he would never dare to interrupt Tetsuji.

“The next order of business,” Tetsuji said. “Is the matter of our district. We’re considering moving to the southeastern district this season.” It was all Tetsuji said, but he didn’t need to say anymore. The southeastern district was the Foxes’ district.  _ That _ was what Riko had talked about earlier with Tetsuji. 

It was easy for the Ravens to transfer districts. Being the only NCAA Exy team in West Virginia, they only needed a vote and some signatures to transfer. And Nathaniel couldn’t see why the ERC would even consider rejecting the change. In only the past couple of hours, every sports station had blown up with the news of Kevin assisting the Foxes. Newscasters were having a field day with the report and fans were outraged, switching districts would just add fuel to the fire and make the upcoming season even more worthwhile. The switch would answer the question that had already been posed a million-and-one times in the past couple of hours: with a team under the instruction of one of the sons of Exy, how will they do in a game against the Ravens?

It was the perfect publicity stunt, and Nathaniel was honestly surprised he never considered Tetsuji switching the Ravens to the Foxes’ district. He wondered how Kevin would react to the news. He left the Ravens only for them to follow him as his new rivals.

He also wondered what this meant for Andrew and Nathaniel’s plan. This could put them in the perfect place to set everything in motion if they just played their cards right.

Nathaniel let practice fly by him. Luckily, his body had finally recovered so that every hit didn’t feel like a gunshot.

When practice was over and the Ravens had returned to the Nest, Nathaniel felt the familiar tap on his shoulder and Andrew going past him. He waited a minute before following him into his room where, once again, only Andrew stood.

“Kevin won’t be happy with the district change,” Nathaniel said once the door closed behind him.

“He’ll have to deal with it,” Andrew said.

“I thought you were supposed to keep Riko from Kevin?” Nathaniel narrowed his eyes. “Have you suddenly stopped caring about him?”

“Every time you speak I hate you more and more,” Andrew said simply.

“So it’s true,” Nathaniel said. “You care-” before he could even finish what he was saying, Andrew closed the gap between them and pressed his hand against Nathaniel’s mouth to shut him up.

“Let me say this very slowly,” Andrew said, his voice low and full of bite. “I care about nothing. My deal with Kevin might as well be broken at this point. And I thought I made it very clear last time that I’m dealing with you now.”

Nathaniel took Andrew’s wrist and moved it away from his mouth; Andrew did not resist him, and instead dropped his hand down by his side. “Crystal clear,” Nathaniel said. He took notice to the way his heart pounded just a bit faster, and tried to equate it to something that wasn’t Andrew professing his loyalty. “So what do you want?”

“The district change makes gutting this place easier,” Andrew said, crossing his arms. “The Foxes have Kevin now. The Ravens  just have to face the Foxes in Championships, and the Foxes have to win.”

Nathaniel was about ready to laugh in Andrew’s face, if he wasn’t positive that that would be what gets Andrew to kill him. The Foxes were the most pathetic team in all of Class I Exy. He had seen enough tapes of them playing to see that they didn’t work together enough on the court to make a decent win. To think that Andrew, the man who couldn’t bring himself to care about Exy at all, now expected the Foxes to not only get to Championships, but to  _ win _ ?

“You think that they’ll win because they suddenly have Kevin? They don’t even _ really _ have Kevin, he’s just an assistant coach,” Nathaniel said, shaking his head.

“Get your head out of your ass and think for a minute,” Andrew said. “They’ll win because we’re going to lose. They just have to get there, and if Kevin holds to his words and gets them in shape, they will. The rest is on us.”

“How? The Foxes have to play well to get anywhere.”

“I told you to think, Wesninski. Do you know how?” Andrew bit. “For this to work, the Foxes just have to get to Championships. The rest is doing everything from in here. We are the ones who have to defend the goal, but this goes past just throwing games. That leaves too much room for error if we perform like normal in practice and not in games.”

“You’ve already thought a lot about this.” Nathaniel was honestly surprised. For someone who claimed that he cared about nothing, Andrew already had things planned start to finish.

“When you’re doing something like this, you can’t leave room for error,” Andrew answered. “We have to start now, and there can’t be any holes.”

“Seems like you have experience in destroying things and leaving no loose ends,” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“Possibly.”

Nathaniel waited for an answer, an explanation, but then he remembered that he was talking to Andrew and realized that ‘possibly’ was as far as he was getting. He sighed and continued with, “So then what’s the plan? How do we get to meet the Foxes at Championships, lose, and not throw away any games?”

“Because _ this _ is when we start,” Andrew said. “We have the opening to begin our plan. And that plan starts with Riko and ends with him as well. Riko’s a power-hungry freak. If we want everything to fall into place, we can’t be the only ones to see that.”

“We have to destroy his credibility on the team,” Nathaniel said when the realization hit him. This plan started with Riko, as Andrew said, but it also ended with him. To tear Riko’s kingdom down, they needed to undermine the King first. “If he loses it on the Court where everyone is there to see, it’ll be easier to believe what he did to Kevin.”

Andrew nodded. “We go for Riko, Tetsuji, and the Ravens, and then we need Kevin to solidify everything. This has to get to Championships, because that is when everything comes together. If Riko loses his shit then, and certain people see a Moriyama losing it, and they see every other fault by the Ravens, led by  _ two _ Moriyamas, then everything is complete. But there can be no mistakes.” 

Nathaniel stared at Andrew. He knew that Andrew knew about the Moriyama’s business, everyone in the Top Five did considering one of them was a Moriyama, three were property, and the other was allowed in the inner circle. He just didn’t think Andrew’s plan would run that deep. The main Moriyama family always went to the Championships. If Lord Kengo Moriyama, leader of the gang and Riko’s father, and his heir and Riko’s older brother, Ichirou, saw that Riko was becoming a loose end, they wouldn’t hesitate to do what they had to do to secure their family.

This was a plan that needed to run perfectly. Andrew was right when he said that they couldn’t afford any mistakes. Dealing with the Moriyamas was dealing with life and death. They needed the plan to work out so that they see Riko as the loose end, and not Nathaniel, Andrew, and Kevin as the ones who undermined them.

“Everything will go according to plan,” Nathaniel said. He didn’t know if he was trying to assure Andrew or himself.

“Good,” Andrew said. “Now you can leave my room.”

“We work well together, Minyard,” Nathaniel said, throwing Andrew a smirk.

“Whenever you speak I feel a strong urge to kill you.”

Nathaniel let him have the last word and stepped out of his room, only to walk into Jean who was coming down the hall.

“Andrew’s room?” Jean questioned, following Nathaniel down the hall to their own room.

“He’s of the Top Five, we have to talk to him occasionally,” Nathaniel left it at that for the night, and fortunately Jean did too, for he wasn’t ready to drag Jean into what they were planning.

\--

A week later, Nathaniel’s phone blew up with calls from Kevin. The first was just past noon. He had missed the call because he was in one of his classes, and Kevin left no voicemail. Nathaniel wasn’t able to call him back, so he called again two hours later, and Nathaniel couldn’t answer it because he was with Jean. The next time he called was when the Ravens were getting ready for their evening practice, the next when they were leaving the locker room.

After the fourth call, Nathaniel got a text:

**answr yuor phone**

Nathaniel, upon seeing Kevin’s lack of spelling and capitalization, now grew even more annoyed because not only was Kevin calling him at completely inconvenient times, he was apparently drunk while doing it all. In retaliation, he responded with:

**do you not remember that the Ravens have a schedule that doesn’t coincide with talking to run-away teammates**

Kevin’s next message, which consisted of misspelled profanity, caused Nathaniel to sigh and he informed the former striker that he would call later if he could.

Apparently Kevin forgot what the meaning of “I’ll call back later if I can” meant because in less than an hour Nathaniel’s phone was buzzing again. Fortunately, Nathaniel was in his dorm room, and alone. Jean had left only a couple of minutes ago to shower, so he had at least a couple more to himself to take the call.

His heart still pounded in his chest, despite the empty room. He always feared that people were listening in on him through the walls, that someone was able to know what their phone conversations held.

He answered with a quiet hiss of, “What do you want?”

“How could you let the Ravens change districts?” Nathaniel should have figured that that was what this was about.

Nathaniel could hear the alcohol in his voice. Kevin’s words slurred together and he was much louder than he needed to be. Nathaniel wondered how long he had been drinking for, but didn’t get the chance to ask since Kevin continued on with, “I left the Ravens to get _ away _ from Riko! And- And now they’re coming to  _ this _ district?”

“This is how things are supposed to be going-”

“ _ Supposed _ to!” Kevin was so loud that Nathaniel actually had to bring the phone away from his ear for a moment. “No, no, that’s  _ not _ what this is! Things are supposed to be that I’m here and Riko’s there but now there’s a district change and I’m here and he’s _ here _ and-”

“Shut up,” Nathaniel said, making sure to keep his voice low, and was surprised to find that Kevin actually listened. “You’ve talked to Andrew, yes?” A noise of confirmation from Kevin. “Then you know what our plan is. What exactly has Andrew told you?”

“Everything. The fact that we’re fucking toying with the Moriyamas, which is a suicide mission all in itself. That I have to get this fucking team to Championships, how am I going to manage that when they-”

Nathaniel could sense that Kevin was about to go off on another tangent, so he cut him off with, “Me and Andrew know what we have to do. We are carrying this out from the inside, you have to hold your part there. Get your team to Championships, we’ll work on the rest. This district change just makes it easier for the three of us to work together.”

“Three?” Kevin questioned. “What about Jean?”

“Did you listen to anything I just said, or are you just worried about him?” Nathaniel asked, growing annoyed with Kevin’s drunk antics and ramblings. 

“Is Jean in on this?”

“No,” Nathaniel sighed, finally giving in to an explanation. “I’m not getting him involved. He doesn’t need to get hurt because of us. Why do you care so much?”

“Because he’s already involved.” Nathaniel hated how Kevin still had a slight voice of reason when he was drunk. “Might as well be better to get him in on it now than wait for him to be dragged into all of this.”

“What do you know? You’re drunk,” was the only response Nathaniel could think of. He wasn’t going to tell Kevin that he was right. He had a big enough ego when sober. “But that’s not the point of this. The point is, everything will be going according to plan. Let us work from here, and you work there, and we’ll meet in the middle somewhere.”

“You two have really thought this out,” Kevin said.

“We have.”

“You’re unlikely partners, but you guys work well together.”

“You’re drunk,” Nathaniel repeated, though he didn’t stop his mind from wandering to the thoughts of how easily him and Andrew fell together in this plan. Apparently he and Andrew weren’t allies, and he didn’t know where they fell on the scale of friends or enemies, but they were working together in all of this, and working well. They were definitely “unlikely partners”, considering Andrew’s blatant apathetic attitude for Exy and the fact that he was brought into the Top Five because he was recruited. But Kevin, who wasn’t even with them, saw how they worked together. Nathaniel had said that to Andrew, a sarcastic comment meant to just rile up the goalie, but...

“I’m hanging up on you,” Nathaniel told Kevin. “You know what you need to do.” 

Nathaniel didn’t give Kevin a chance to answer before snapping his phone shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! as always, feedback is greatly appreciated :)
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	8. chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was June 1st.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this fic was split up, i like to think that chapters 1-6 would be volume one
> 
> now onto volume two (:

On June 1st, Edgar Allan’s district change was released by the ERC to the public. Every college sports station was reporting on it, and every station made the same connection: the Ravens transferred to the same district as the Foxes.

And thus started the summer of chaos. Reporters and fans everywhere questioned what would happen when Riko and Kevin met again on the court, except this time as athlete and coach. Riko and Kevin’s names still appeared next to each other in sentences, except this time it wasn’t praising the leading duo, it was wondering what would come of this unexpected rivalry. Reporters flooded Castle Evermore to get the players’ thoughts on the switch and the upcoming season. However, only Riko was permitted to speak to them.

“It will be exciting to see Kevin on the court as a rival, especially when seeing his coaching skills,” Riko had said in one of his interviews. “He might actually pull the Palmetto Foxes together as a team. I just hope he knows that the Ravens won’t go easy on him because we know him well.” Riko had flashed the camera one of his charming smiles, but Nathaniel had seen through it. He saw the coldness in Riko’s eyes that reporters took as passion, he saw the brutality behind his smile that the reporters took as charming, and he saw the fatality in the hands that gripped his racket that the reporters took as power.

Everything about Riko Moriyama was a lie. But knowing that one day Nathaniel would expose him made the summer pass smoother than he anticipated. Well, as smoothly as it could with Andrew and Nathaniel beginning their plan. Kevin still had time to wait; the Foxes season didn’t begin until August. But Andrew and Nathaniel had no time to waste.

For the summer, it was just the little things they could do. It was making the Top Five (now Top Four) from Riko and Kevin, Nathaniel and Jean, and Andrew, to Riko, Nathaniel and Jean, Nathaniel and Andrew, and Kevin working with Nathaniel and Andrew from the outside. It was the start of letting Riko know that some of his obedient servants were not bowing to the King anymore. It was letting the panic of losing a grip on what was his overcome Riko.

Nathaniel didn’t have to say anything for Riko to notice. He knew that their captain saw Nathaniel keep up appearances with Andrew just as much as he did with Jean. And he knew that their team saw their captain lacking his former left-hand man.

It was all just enough for Riko to feel the grip of panic around his throat.

It was all that, and not to mention that Andrew never got easier to handle during summer practices. He was still as defiant as he was when Kevin was there, still didn’t care just as much, and still managed to destroy in goal while simultaneously _ really not caring _ .

Riko always had little tolerance for Andrew; he had ever since Andrew rejected their offer and then showed up with Kevin. Whatever Riko had left in him was fraying, and yet he never laid a hand on Andrew. It seemed like Kevin was telling the truth when he said Riko wouldn’t attack Andrew because Andrew had nothing to lose from fighting back harder. While Riko valued his life and career above all else, Andrew held his with so little regard.

And then there was Kevin, working with them from Palmetto. Throughout the summer, the amount of times Kevin called only increased. It was dangerous; if anyone found out that Nathaniel and Andrew were in contact with Kevin, and word got to Riko, they were fucked. But Nathaniel knew he couldn’t fear danger anymore, and with Riko being that ‘danger’, he couldn’t fear Riko either. Kevin called when Nathaniel was alone or with Andrew, texted him when he wasn’t, and only called in the middle of the night when the information was dire.

Each time Kevin called, he reported the healing of his hand. The surgeon that Tetsuji and Riko had do his hand said that healing would take twelve weeks, and up to six months to regain full movement. So, over the summer, his hand healed gradually. But whenever Kevin said that his hand didn’t hurt as much, Nathaniel did feel a small glimmer of hope.

Kevin also gave as much information as he could about the Foxes. Nathaniel and Andrew needed to know what they were dealing with, and they needed to know that this mess of a team could get to championships. Kevin said that captain and offensive dealer Danielle Wilds worked the team to the bone; he respected her, and found it admirable how quickly she took to accepting his criticisms. Matthew Boyd, leading backliner and Danielle’s boyfriend, was the best player out there. Kevin didn’t call anyone besides him or Riko “the best”, so to hear him say that meant a lot, and that it was true. Seth Gordon, the only fifth year senior and a striker, was a talented player, but Kevin said that he was too defiant, reckless, and a wiseass. How defiant, reckless, and asshole-like he was depended on the state of his relationship with his on-and-off again girlfriend.

Janie Smalls was the Foxes’ other striker; rumor had it that she would end up benched before the fall season is over. Renee Walker was the Foxes’ only goalie. Kevin said she needed to be better if the Foxes wanted to get anywhere that season and that she needed to stop letting people score on her so much. Allison Reynolds, defensive dealer and Seth’s on-off girlfriend, was vicious and relentless on the court and Kevin said that he “actually pitied anyone who got in her way”. Nathaniel found it amusing when he realized that Kevin was slightly intimidated by Allison.

And then there was Andrew’s family. Nicky Hemmick, cousin and backliner, was reportedly the weakest backliner out out of the three on the team. Kevin said that he needed to find a way to connect with the other backliner on his line and Renee if he wanted to actually have a place on the court. But, all in all, Nicky was a hard worker, and even Kevin said that he could see that he had potential if he kept working. Nicky asked a lot about Andrew, but Kevin didn’t tell him much; apparently Nicky had the tendency to gossip, and Kevin didn’t trust him enough to tell him even a fraction of their plans. Aaron Minyard, twin and backliner, was a good player but refused to associate with anyone but his cousin. That meant that he, while able to work with Matthew, played better with Nicky but it was unrealistic to only put them on together since Matthew and Aaron were the better players. Unlike his cousin, Aaron barely asked about Andrew. Kevin said it was obvious that something happened between the two, since both twins seemed content to barely mention each other. Kevin had yet to find out what that was.

Kevin admitted that he asked Wymack why he had recruited Nicky and Aaron; after seeing their stats from their high school games, he saw that Aaron was good but there were still players that sat ahead of him, and Nicky played in high school but, being twenty-three on the team, he was out of practice for many years. He was surprised to find out that Wymack’s answer was just that Andrew directed him to his brother and cousin. Kevin tried to get more out of him, but all he got from Wymack was that when Andrew, who made it obvious to Wymack that he didn’t care about Exy, directs you to two potential players, it means something.

Overall, what Kevin said was that the Foxes were “a team of nobodies that could actually amount to something if they all pulled their heads out of their asses and worked together”. Instead, they were a fractured team. Matthew and Seth didn’t get along. Seth and Aaron didn’t get along. Neither did Seth and Nicky. It didn’t take long to realize that Seth only got along with Allison when their relationship was good. Aaron was isolated from the entire team, only associating with his cousin. Nicky was more amiable than Aaron, and had a better time getting along with some of his other teammates. But that didn’t mean he would side with any of them over Aaron. Allison mostly stuck with Seth, but she was friendly with Danielle and Renee. However, it was impossible not to notice the tension between Allison and Seth and everyone else. Janie seemed like she was falling apart by the minute. Renee was nice, but being nice didn’t really get people places. Danielle seemed like the only force, besides Wymack, holding the team together, and even then Kevin could see how frustrated she got with her uncooperative team.

Nathaniel was surprised when he saw how much time Kevin put into learning about the Palmetto Foxes.

“But you only have eight players,” Nathaniel had said to Kevin during one of their phone calls. “The ERC requires nine players at minimum.”

“Wymack had someone he recruited, but the recruitment ended up falling through for… hospitalization, I think.  But I told the ERC that the Foxes would have their ninth player by November ,” Kevin said. “I know someone. The ERC has a tendency to listen to me. However, they said that if there is no ninth player by the first game in November, the Foxes are disqualified.”

When Kevin had said that, Nathaniel’s stomach dropped. If the Foxes were disqualified, their entire plan would go to shit. And this new player had the potential to do well on the Foxes, yes, but they also had the potential to ruin everything and separate the Foxes even more. He was beyond frustrated with Kevin at seeing how easily he late their fate rely on this new player. “And you’re not worried that they’ll bail, or be terrible?”

“Not at all,” the cockiness was clear in Kevin’s voice. Nathaniel really couldn’t stand Kevin sometimes.

It was undeniable that, by the time August came around and Exy season was really starting, their plan was set into motion, and there was no one that could stop it from continuing, now.

A week into the season, the game schedule for the Ravens’ fall season was released and all eyes went to the game planned for October 13th: the Ravens up against the Foxes. Now that the teams were in the same district, they were bound to face each other before Championships. It was going to be one of the most anticipated matches of the season, not because there was a chance that the Foxes would win (there was no chance this early in the season), but because it was going to be Riko and Kevin’s first meeting since Kevin left. Even the Ravens themselves were eager to see what would happened, let alone reporters.

While the team was changing for their practice, Nathaniel approached Andrew. The latter changed by himself in a row that only he occupied, so they had the luxury of not being overheard. Andrew was pulling on his jersey over his gear and armbands when Nathaniel came up to him. He glanced over at him but didn’t say a word.

There was enough chatter here and there in the locker room to cover up their conversation, but Nathaniel still waited until he was standing with Andrew to speak, “Should we talk later?” He didn’t have to specify what he was talking about. With the upcoming game, they would probably have to discuss their plan for that and how they would deal with Kevin and-

“No,” Andrew said simply. He shoved his gloves into his helmet and dangled it on his fingers from the straps.

“But-” Nathaniel started to argue but Andrew cut him off.

“ _ That  _ isn’t ours to deal with,” he said before turning and walking away. Nathaniel sighed and followed him out of the row. He personally had hoped for more from that conversation, but Andrew wasn’t technically wrong when he meant that Kevin had to deal with that first game.

He walked out of the locker room shadowing Andrew, and from behind him he heard Engle, Andrew’s roommate, say to someone, “See? I told you I haven’t been staying out of my room  _ just _ for Jenkins. There’s  _ that, _ too.”

When Nathaniel received another call from Kevin, it was after practice and he was alone in his dorm room again, but he knew he wouldn’t be for long; Jean had only stepped out for a moment and would be back shortly. He knew it was too risky to accept the call now. He rejected the call, and not long after did he receive a text from Kevin:

**Foxes v. Ravens October 13th. The Foxes won’t win.**

The fact that they wouldn’t win was obvious and known by everyone.

Nathaniel typed back:

**they won’t win. they just need enough wins to make it to spring championships.**

That was Kevin’s job in it all. He had to fix the Foxes enough so that they could qualify for spring championships, and then get them through the death matches to Championships.

It was one job, but it was one hell of a job.

Jean entered right when Nathaniel got a confirmation text from Kevin and Nathaniel was able to breathe easy at the fact that he chose not to accept the call. It would have looked suspicious if Nathaniel suddenly hung up his phone, or even stared at Jean for too long while not saying anything on the line.

However, Jean’s next words put a halt to his sudden moment of peace. It was the French that first caught Nathaniel’s attention. The two only spoke in French when they didn’t want anyone else understanding the content of what they were saying; it wasn’t just thrown around carelessly. And then Nathaniel’s brain pieced together what Jean had said.

“Are you going to tell Kevin that I wish him well on the Foxes?”

Nathaniel felt his heart leap to his throat and his stomach drop out of him.  _ No, no, don’t show anything, act normal. _ He forced his fingers to keep moving normally on his phone and kept his breathing in check. He feigned annoyance and rolled his eyes at Jean. “You’re hysterical, Jean.”

“But Nathaniel,” Jean said, locking eyes. “Unfortunately, I’m not kidding. I know what you’ve been doing. You’ve been talking to him. You’re phone calls aren’t all that secretive.”

_ I know what you’ve been doing.  _ It was the words Nathaniel feared to hear; he had nightmares of Riko coming up to him and saying that exact phrase. Those words coming from Riko meant that everything was over: their plan, their revenge, Nathaniel Wesninski, Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day. Everything.

Somehow, coming from his roommate and ally didn’t make hearing it any better.

Nathaniel didn’t want to confess but he didn’t want to keep lying. Kevin had said that Jean would get dragged into this, that it was better to bring him in now than later, and even though Kevin was a drunken mess when he said that, he was right. Nathaniel just never knew when the right time would be, if there would even be one.

Nathaniel stayed silent, and Jean crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow. “Are you going to say anything, or do you need me to elaborate?”

“We have a plan,” Nathaniel said weakly.

“We?” Jean questioned. Nethaniel mentally kicked himself for already giving away more information than Jean knew. Jean had thought it was just Nathaniel speaking with Kevin. But now, watching Jean put together everything that happened over the summer was painful. “It’s not just you and him. It’s Andrew, too. That’s why you’ve suddenly been with him all this summer. The team thought you two were-” Jean cut himself off. “What the fuck are you two doing?”

“You all thought me and Andrew were  _ what _ ?”

“You don’t get to be the one who is asking questions right now,” Jean snapped. “What is this plan that you three have made?”

Nathaniel thought about his words carefully. It would be the first time he was vocalizing it to anyone who wasn’t Andrew and Kevin. It felt like a betrayal to both Kevin and Andrew, and Jean, and yet he had to say it now. “We’re putting an end to this,” was what Nathaniel finally decided on saying.

“An end to this? An end to  _ what _ ?”

“ _ This _ ,” Nathaniel said, sweeping his hand around the room. “The Ravens.”

Jean went so pale Nathaniel feared he would collapse. Both Jean and Nathaniel knew what abuse came with the Ravens, but they only ever talked about surviving; they never even considered retaliation. Surviving was a concept that they could grasp. Retaliation was a future too-sweet, a future that slipped through their fingers a long time ago.

“Oh my God.”

“Jean, you have to listen-”

“ _ Oh my God _ ,” Jean said, louder this time. Nathaniel rushed over to shush him; their teammates couldn’t hear the French. But Jean just pushed Nathaniel away from him. “Nathaniel, are you- have you lost your mind? How can you even say that? Are you fucking stupid? You can’t- you can’t do that! You all will be killed, and then _ I’ll _ be killed! Do you not remember what we talked about? We talked about  _ surviving _ , this isn’t surviving! This is a suicide mission!”

“But we can’t just survive anymore, Jean,” Nathaniel said, keeping his voice low. He took another step closer only for Jean to take one back. “To survive means that Riko wins, but that can’t happen anymore! He can’t get away with what he does anymore!”

Jean shook his head, staring wide-eyed at Nathaniel. “Is this all because of what happened to us after Kevin left? We’ve been through worse.”

“That’s not it,” Nathaniel said. His gut twisted because he knew where this conversation was going.

“Then what is it, Nathaniel? Tell me what it is, make me understand why you’re making this idiotic plan, with Minyard no less.”

“How did Kevin break his hand?” Nathaniel asked.

Jean narrowed his eyes. “What does that-”

“Just answer, Jean,” Nathaniel said. “Tell me, Jean, how did Kevin break his hand?”

“He was hit by a car,” Jean said slowly, staring down Nathaniel.

“What if I told you that wasn’t it?”

Jean looked like he wanted to tell Nathaniel that he was lying. That there was no way that was true because that wasn’t what Tetsuji told them. He didn’t want to believe Nathaniel, but every time he opened his mouth nothing came out. Finally, after three tries, he managed out, “What?”

Nathaniel took a deep breath. He closed the gap between him and Jean, and luckily Jean did not back away. “There was no hit and run,” he whispered. “Everything Tetsuji and Riko had told you about what happened to Kevin was a lie. There was no late-night run, there was no drunk driver. That is not how Kevin broke his hand.”

Jean shook his head again. “How do you know any of this?”

“Because I was the one who had to clean up the mess,” Nathaniel said. “Riko smashed and destroyed Kevin’s hand in a fit of jealous rage when it was discovered that Kevin was the better striker, and Riko sent me to deal with him. Meanwhile, he talked to Tetsuji and planned out everything. Riko got what he wanted and took out his competition, and Kevin lost his contract and his career in Exy. Tetsuji told us the lie and everyone believed him because that’s the only thing that we have ever known. The only people who know this are me and Andrew, Tetsuji, Riko, Kevin, and now you.”

“Oh my god,” Jean repeated for a third time. His words were far away even though he was standing right in front of Nathaniel.

Nathaniel nodded. “Turns out we weren’t the only ones who had to suffer Riko’s tantrums. Kevin told me Riko attacking him wasn’t uncommon. The only one Riko didn’t do anything to was Andrew.”

“Andrew would be the only one to fight him back,” Jean said, sitting down on his bed. He then let out a humorless laugh and propped his chin in his hands. “This is so  _ fucked _ .”

“I’m well aware.”

“What do you three even plan to do?” Jean asked.

Nathaniel hesitated to answer. He had been so used to keeping secrets that it was the first path he turned to, but he didn’t think he could keep secrets anymore. “The Moriyamas dislike loose ends. At the end of this, Riko will be one. He’s always been one, abusing his power and all, but now it will be more… evident. That, and the Foxes will win the Championships.” It was just enough for Jean to understand what was going on. Nathaniel would never be completely at ease relaying the plan to him, even in a different language. With Andrew it was different; they kept their voices lowered. With Jean in a state like this, he didn’t know if he could trust his roommate to be quiet.

Jean laughed again and buried his face into his hands. “Oh my God, we are all  _ so fucked _ .” His words were muffled. Nathaniel worried his bottom lip.

“Well,” Jean said and lifted his head up. He took a deep breath to compose himself and pulled a hand through his hair. “Now what?” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow in question. “You can’t just expect me to sit back and watch you three kill yourselves doing this.”

“You’re not getting involved in this,” Nathaniel said, shaking his head.

“Am I not already involved?” Jean asked.

At that moment, Nathaniel decided that Andrew had to protect Jean. When this all started, Nathaniel knew what could happen if Kevin, Andrew, or Nathaniel stepped out of line. They were well aware of the fact that this plan could be walking them to their deaths. But now Jean knew, and while Andrew, Kevin, and Nathaniel were dragged into this mess together, Jean was dragged in by Nathaniel. If anything were to happen to Jean, it would be on Nathaniel’s conscience.

Nathaniel’s own mother was killed because she tried to get him out of the lifestyle set for him by the Moriyamas. He didn’t know if he could handle anymore guilt if something happened to Jean because of what Nathaniel brought him into.

For Jean’s protection, Andrew was the answer.

“I’m working on that part,” Nathaniel said quietly. “Now, I think it would be for our best interest if we stopped his conversation.”

Jean agreed, reluctantly, and that night Nathaniel found himself in Andrew’s dorm room.

“Back in my room,” Andrew said, looking up at Nathaniel from where he sat at his desk chair. His chin was propped in one of his hands and the sleeve of his shirt was falling down to reveal a black armband. “Again.”

“And you’re alone in your shared room,” Nathaniel said. “Again.”

“I’m sure you didn’t come here to discuss my dorm room habits.” The constant bored expression remained on Andrew’s face as he quirked an eyebrow at Nathaniel.

“Jean knows,” Nathaniel said with a lowered voice. “He’s known for a while about the phone conversations. He now knows the full truth.”

If Andrew was shocked by that news, he didn’t bother to show it. “And?”

“I was hoping you could do something about that.” Nathaniel said. He didn’t expect much from Andrew, and he definitely didn’t expect him to listen to his request, but he had to try.

“ Hope is a thing that only leads to disappointment ,” Andrew said, and suddenly Nathaniel’s curiosity was piqued. He found himself interested in what made him have such a loss of faith in hope, but he couldn’t dwell on that now.

“Please?”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I hate the word ‘please’.”

“Then forget I said it,” Nathaniel said, holding himself back from rolling his eyes. “Jean isn’t the one who belongs in this. But whatever happens to me, happens to him. It seems like you’re the one who can just… keep Riko off of him. He’ll be getting the brunt of the violence with us. He doesn’t deserve that when I’m the one who dragged him in.”

“And what happened to him being your responsibility? Was I not clear enough?”

“I can’t keep him from all of this,” Nathaniel admitted. He hated confessing that to Andrew, but Andrew was the one who could help. “You’ve made it clear that you can, unless you were lying this entire time?”

“I don’t lie. I hate you even more for accusing me of doing so,” Andrew said. His voice remained monotone.

This time Nathaniel did roll his eyes. “So? I’m not asking you to take Jean under your wing and make a deal with him like you did with me. I’m just asking that you keep him away from the worst of Riko’s violence.”

It seemed like Andrew barely thought about it before he answered with, “Okay.”

That was the answer Nathaniel wanted, but he didn’t expect it to come to him so easily. “Really? You’re serious?”

“I’m getting very concerned that you can’t understand basic English. Did I not just say that I don’t lie?”

“You did,” Nathaniel said. “I just didn’t expect you to agree so easily. You know, because you hate me. Which makes perfect sense: to hate me and find me interesting and all.”

“I hate everything about you,” Andrew agreed. “And I told you that you would have to keep my interest.”

“Obviously I have considering the fact that I’m still here, and you are too.” Nathaniel let a smirk form on his face. Andrew’s eyes looked like they could bore holes through his skull.

“You’re infuriating, now get out before I kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! feedback is appreciated :)
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	9. chapter eight

It didn’t take long for Nathaniel to notice that Andrew’s lurking had spread to wherever Jean was. No other Ravens raised an eyebrow, but Jean’s shock was obvious to Nathaniel when Andrew suddenly wasn’t avoiding him anymore. Jean was so used to Andrew isolating himself from the Top Five that when Andrew sat on the same couch as him that afternoon it took five minutes for Jean’s muscles to stop being so tense.

That was in the lounge. The next place Nathaniel found Andrew was alone in the locker room. Their evening practice had finished up an hour ago, but it wasn’t until recently that Nathaniel realized Andrew hadn’t come down. Jean was doing any leftover schoolwork in their dorm, and Nathaniel was able to go up into the locker room under the guise that he and Andrew had planned to practice drills at this time.

(“Really?” Jean had asked. “ _ You _ got Andrew to practice  _ outside _ of our actual practices?”)

Instead, he just dropped his bag onto the floor once he entered the locker room and walked the rows until he found Andrew. He found the goalkeeper sitting against one of the lockers in the row farthest right. There was privacy in the locker room since Tetsuji’s office was on the other side of the court. 

Andrew cast him a side glance. “No one likes a stalker, Nathaniel.”

“There are only so many places you can go,” Nathaniel said as he approached Andrew. “It wasn’t particularly hard to find you.” He slid down the locker and sat next to him. “Unless you, too, decided to run to Palmetto.”

“Kevin’s the only one who had the option of running away,” Andrew said. He did not acknowledge Nathaniel sitting next to him, and instead kept his eyes on the row of lockers in front of him.

“Had the option? What do you even mean by that?” Nathaniel asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“That Kevin, with his broken hand, was not under surveillance when we were practicing, and therefore had the option to walk out the doors, get in a car, and drive away.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes. “You know that’s not the answer I want.”

“Well it’s the answer. I’m extremely sorry if you don’t like it.” Andrew was not sorry.

Nathaniel huffed out a breath. “Fine, then.” He thought for a moment, considering a new question. He found himself more and more curious about Andrew each day, and this time was no different. If now was the time when he could ask his questions, so be it. “Why did you turn down the Ravens the first time?”

Nathaniel hadn’t expected that to be the question that struck something with Andrew, but he didn’t miss the slight head turn he made in his direction. That was enough for Nathaniel to believe that he was getting somewhere.

“You’re asking a lot of questions, Nathaniel.” A pause. “If we’re being fair here, don’t I get a question too?” Andrew asked, delivering yet again another reply that Nathaniel didn’t want. “Considering I have already answered one for you, and am now helping you pick up after Jean.”

“Fine,” Nathaniel said.

“Why do you want me to protect Jean?”

“I already told you why-”

“That’s not the actual answer.” Andrew wasn’t questioning him; he knew that there was more, and he wanted to hear it.

Nathaniel sighed and looked up at the bright lights. For just a moment, he considered giving up and just retaliating with a bullshit answer. But the thought of telling someone all of this, telling Andrew, was too captivating for him to pass up. It wasn’t often he got to voice his fears, and Andrew was giving him the a-okay to do it. “Well, you know that my father is affiliated with the Moriyamas. Lord Kengo chose him personally. However, he doesn’t instantly take in any future offspring. So, I was seen as a loose end, someone who could spill all the Moriyama secrets. Well, unless I qualified for the Ravens. When I was a kid, Lord Kengo set up a couple days for try-outs where I would play Exy with Riko and Kevin. It was to see if I was any use to him. If I passed his test, I got recruited to the Ravens. If I didn’t, my father would be forced to execute me. Obviously, since I’m here, I passed.

“But my mom didn’t want me at the try-outs. She didn’t want me caught up in the life the Moriyamas had for the people they bought. She wanted to run away from it all, and take me with her. My mom didn’t have a safe life, and she didn’t even know if we’d be safe if we were on the run, but she wanted me to be free of all of this. She wasn’t planning an escape for herself, she was doing it all for me. Except, as you can see, that escape never happened. Somehow, someone found out about her plans and reported it to Lord Kengo. Lord Kengo then had my father execute my mom, and I was there to witness it. It was supposed to be showing what happens to those who try to destroy what the Moriyamas have set.”

Nathaniel took a deep breath and willed his eyes to stay open. If he closed them, he feared he would fall into darkness and constant flashbacks of an axe being brought down on his mother. “Except all I felt was guilt. My mom was fighting for me to get out, she was sacrificing everything for me, and she got killed for me. Even now I just think that things could have been different for her, she could have been alive. She didn’t have to get involved with my life, she could have just left me, but she didn’t.” He then turned his gaze to Andrew and was shocked to find that Andrew was already looking at him. “So that’s why I need you to protect Jean. I’m not asking you to make him a promise or a deal. I’m just asking you to make sure that Riko’s wrath doesn’t turn completely on him. When Jean found out what was going on, he was ready to throw himself into our plan headfirst. I couldn’t let him do that. If he got seriously hurt… I can’t let another person who should have no involvement in my life get hurt because of me.”

Neither boy said nothing for a few moments. They just stared each other down and Nathaniel wished he could know what Andrew was thinking.

“I’ll do it,” Andrew finally said.

“I can see you already have,” Nathaniel murmured, not able to find his voice at full volume.

“But, at the end of all of this, he’s still your responsibility. And you’re still responsible for what happens to him. I’m a middle man in all of this, meaning that I’m just there for Jean when he’s there. But in your room, in whatever alliance you two have, he’s your responsibility.” Andrew’s blunt honesty caused Nathaniel to break their stare and look across at the lockers. But he was right. Nathaniel wasn’t making any deal with Andrew; he just wanted Andrew there as an extra buffer in hopes that Riko won’t eventually break Jean down, too. But the main Raven policy still held: whenever Nathaniel fucked up, both him and Jean would reap the consequences.

He just had to hope Jean wouldn’t suffer more because of Nathaniel’s actions. Nathaniel couldn’t stop what they had planned for a guilty conscience, but he could still hope.

Nathaniel looked back at Andrew. Once again, he was questioning whether or not they were really not an alliance, since Andrew seemed so keen on helping him. He opened his mouth to say something, to actually thank him, when Andrew cut him off with a sharp, “Don’t look at me like that.”

Nathaniel frowned. “Like what?”

“Like I’m the solution to all your problems or something,” Andrew said. “I’m not yours, and you’re sure as fuck not mine.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything more. The novelty of thanking Andrew died as soon as it came.

It was a couple moments before either of them spoke again, and Andrew was the one to break the silence with, “I originally planned on sticking with Aaron, whether we went to college or not.”

Nathaniel was confused by his sudden statement. It took him a moment to remember that it was not in fact sudden, but instead it was Andrew answering his question from before. And after that shock settled in, it hit him that that was the first time Andrew had ever mentioned his brother. “And then what? You met Kevin and saw he needed more help?”

“I saw that it would be in Aaron’s best interest if I left,” Andrew corrected. “I came here and sent Aaron, and Nicky, to Palmetto, which is about as far off from here as you can get. Making that deal with Kevin was just another part of it.”

“Why was it in his best interest?” Nathaniel asked.

“Reasons.”

“Is that all I’m getting?”

“I would have said more if you were getting more,” Andrew said. “I thought that would be simple to understand.”

“I don’t think anything about you is simple,” Nathaniel admitted.

Andrew didn’t have anything to say to that. Instead, he turned his eyes back to the lockers in front of them like they had something more interesting shown on them than Nathaniel had to say.

In the silence that once again passed between them, Nathaniel’s mind wandered to what has happened over the summer, and even over the past couple of days. But instead of focusing on major events, his thoughts got pulled to what Engle had said about not staying in his room with Andrew anymore and instead with Jenkins, and to what Jean had hinted about the team speculating something was going on between them. He had to restrain himself from drowning in sudden panic because, if Jean had noticed something was going on, what did the rest of the team see?

“Jean hinted that the team thinks something is going on between us,” Nathaniel said, unable to stop his words and to keep the panic out of them. “You don’t think they know, do they?”

Andrew shook his head. “No, they don’t.”

“Then what are they talking about if it isn’t that? Why are we on the minds of this entire team?” Nathaniel asked, his paranoia unsedated.

“Because this team has a habit of getting into personal problems that don’t belong to them,” Andrew said.

“And I qualify as a personal problem of yours?” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow. The fear in his gut halted its growing. “And here I thought you hated me.” 

“Oh, I do,” Andrew said. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.”

For just a moment, Nathaniel’s mind went blank.  _ Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you. _ “You like me.”

“I hate you, and ninety percent of the time I want to kill you.”

Those words sent Nathaniel’s mind into a hyperfunction, and everything clicked into place so fast it made his head spin. Andrew came to Nathaniel initially because Nathaniel was the only other one who knew what was going on with Riko and Kevin, but stayed because Nathaniel had proven to be trustworthy. Andrew told Nathaniel to keep him interested, and he had yet to leave. Andrew worked with him, and worked _ well _ with him, and listened to his requests. The first time Andrew had even really mentioned Aaron with anyone outside of Kevin was with Nathaniel because Andrew trusted him with it.

Of course the Ravens had seen something going on. But they didn’t know it was the pair plotting their demise; they thought that Andrew and Nathaniel were already something. Ravens had a tendency to hook-up or hate-fuck their teammates, and few ended up in actual stable relationships. Andrew seemed to already know about these claims, and he hadn’t denied them. He just dubbed Nathaniel a “personal problem”.

And then he took into consideration his own trust in Andrew. How easily he listened to Andrew’s plans. How Andrew was the first person Nathaniel openly discussed his mother with in years. How Nathaniel came to Andrew for help with Jean. How easily he fell into line with the plan they had set up. How the two really did manage to work together.

Nathaniel had felt a pull to Andrew ever since they started working together. He couldn’t place a name to it, it was a word he never thought he’d be able to use in his lifetime, but everything seemed a lot clearer, now.

“You never said anything,” Nathaniel said quietly, staring at Andrew.

“Why would I?” Andrew replied. His tone was so casual and it threw off Nathaniel’s brain, which was currently running wild. “Nothing would come of it.”

All Nathaniel could manage was a nod. He didn’t trust words; he didn’t know what he would say. He didn’t even know what he was feeling right now, so speaking would have been the worst option possible.

At some point, Andrew dismissed himself. Nathaniel watched him leave and didn’t take his eyes off the direction he went until minutes after the locker room door slammed shut. His mind was working too hard and fast to let him divert his attention so soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! feedback, as always, is appreciated :)
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	10. chapter nine

When Kevin called Nathaniel, it was when the Ravens had just returned from an evening practice. Him and Jean were in their dorm room, and Jean gave Nathaniel a panicked look when Nathaniel’s phone began to buzz on his bedside table.

“It’s fine,” Nathaniel said, pretending that he couldn’t feel Jean’s anxiety from where he stood across the dorm room. “I’m answering it.”

Now, when Nathaniel answered it, he expected a couple of things. He expected Kevin to instantly begin rattling off stats of the Foxes. He expected to hear practice schedules, or how long until the Foxes’ first game. He expected questions as to what drills the Ravens did in their practices for the day so that he could start using them on the Foxes. He at least thought he deserved a hello from his former team mate.

However, he got none of these.

“Fucking disgraces, all of them,” Kevin seethed on the other line. “I’m fucking humiliated to be associated with any of them. The fact that they’re even allowed onto an Exy court is disgusting. Can’t even listen or do drills properly when the season is starting-”

“Glad to see you’re enjoying your time there,” Nathaniel said quietly with an eyeroll. Jean’s eyes were still on him.

“Fuck them, and fuck you too.” It would be a lie to say that Kevin’s frustration wasn’t amusing, but Nathaniel just hoped that Kevin was harsher than the Foxes were terrible, considering that their plan was dependent on the Foxes’ eventual success.

“Nice as ever,” Nathaniel muttered. “You know you have to survive with them, right?”

“They’re surviving because of me, but they’re still terrible. They don’t listen. They don’t cooperate with me or each other. For a team of eight -fucking  _ eight people _ \- you would think that there would be less infighting than the Ravens,” Kevin vented. “But  _ no _ . If they put half as much effort into Exy as they did to destroying each other they might actually be worth something.”

“Well, isn’t that your job? To make them be better?” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow even though Kevin wouldn’t be the one to see it.

“It is,” Kevin sighed. “It would be working if they didn’t try to throw a fucking coup d'état every time I told them what they were doing wrong. They’re very prideful for such a shitty team.”

“Did it really take you this long to become tired of them?” Nathaniel asked. Kevin had been with the Foxes since April, and now that it was about to be September, he was almost impressed with Kevin’s temper holding out this long.

“I’ve been humiliated for them ever since I got here. Now it’s just pathetic how unwilling they are to get over themselves and accept criticism.” Well, as Nathaniel said, he was  _ almost _ impressed.

“I’m sure your ‘criticisms’ are more insult than critical,” Nathaniel said. He rolled his eyes to Jean, and found himself surprised when his roommate gave him the tiniest of smiles back. It was barely there, but at least it was a sign that Jean could trust him with what they’re doing.

“You don’t make champions by being nice.”

“Ever the motivator,” Nathaniel said. “You should be giving speeches all around the country.”

“Fuck off, Nathaniel,” Kevin bit and Nathaniel smirked.

“Really makes you miss us, doesn’t it?” Nathaniel hadn’t realized what he said until it was already in the air between them. His voice was already quiet, only loud enough for Kevin to be able to hear clearly, but the silence that then passed from over the line and in the dorm room itself was so thick, Nathaniel thought he would drown in it.

From the time Kevin left to now, neither Nathaniel nor Kevin mentioned Kevin’s personal thoughts on the Ravens, and he doubted Andrew ever brought it up. When they discussed the Ravens, they discussed stats, drills, practices, other teammates. What they didn’t mention was the lifestyle Kevin left behind. If Kevin missed the roaring fans and adoring reporters, he didn’t say it. When Kevin talked about the Foxes’ practices, he never made a comparison to the Ravens’ grueling ones. He didn’t talk about what it felt like to transition from Kevin Day, national Exy champion, player on four separate teams, a son of Exy, a man destined for stardom, to Kevin Day, assistant coach of the deadbeat Palmetto Foxes, former Raven, former Exy star. Maybe Kevin did miss it in some weird, twisted way where someone longs for what was terrible for them because it was all they knew. Maybe Kevin missed seeing the sea of black and red and Ravens flying overhead and knowing that ultimate success wasn’t far down the road. Maybe Kevin didn’t miss it and he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that Palmetto was where he needed to be. Maybe Kevin saw orange and thought of the life and freedom he could finally have. Maybe it hurt too much for him to confess to either.

Maybe.

“I miss my books,” was finally all that Kevin said, all that he could say. And Nathaniel thought of the history books that still lined his wall in Riko’s room, and how one of them held a note from his mother revealing his father. He thought of Kevin pouring over those books in his free time in the Nest because he found the capability to share his passion for Exy with his passion for history. He thought of the history documentaries Kevin was allowed to watch on one TV in the lounge because only so many stations broadcasted Exy, and he then thought about how Kevin explained how they related to the books on his shelves. And Nathaniel then thought of those books collecting dust on his shelves, pages now yellowing with age instead of overuse, and he understood.

“You’ll find new ones where you are now,” was all Nathaniel could say, and he didn’t think it was helpful.

The line stayed silent for so long that Nathaniel thought Kevin had hung up, and even Jean gave him a confused look when neither he nor Kevin said anything.

Finally, Kevin’s voice came over the line with, “Jean knows, doesn’t he? You haven’t answered my call in your dorm room in a while. And we’ve been talking for a long time.”

Nathaniel sighed. There would be no use denying it. “Yeah.”

“I told you that would happen.” For once, Kevin’s voice lacked smugness when proving that he was right. If Nathaniel was hearing right, Kevin sounded sad. Maybe he felt the same guilt and worry for Jean that Nathaniel did.

“You did,” Nathaniel said, his eyes flicking to Jean and then to the floor. “I have it handled, though.”

“Andrew?”

Nathaniel thought of Andrew’s promise to him and Kevin. He thought of Andrew saying he would help to at least put space between Jean and Riko, and all because Nathaniel asked. He thought of Andrew’s trust in him, and his own trust in Andrew.

Nathaniel sighed again, for once again there was no use denying it. “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love this chapter sm bc i love my son kevin day w/ all my heart
> 
> thank you for reading!!! as always, feedback is appreciated!!!
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	11. chapter ten

The locker room became a place where Nathaniel and Andrew could just be. Somehow, despite being the center of everything the Ravens’ lives consisted of, it was where they had the most privacy. It was ironic, the place being the epicenter of their destruction also being the only place where it was just the two of them.

They met at night, right after their evening practice, and Jean was usually doing his schoolwork at that time. The other Ravens let the Top Five (Four) do what they pleased, so they didn’t question Andrew and Nathaniel’s disappearance from the Nest. And Riko… Riko barely left his room if it wasn’t for practice or general things he needed to live. Living a life without Kevin -and, therefore, no one- had forced him into isolation.

All in all, their plan was going well.

Right now, though, the plan wasn’t the first thing on Nathaniel’s mind. Instead, it was Andrew sat next to him. The boy’s words still rang clear in his mind. _Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you._ A part of Nathaniel thought he dreamt that, that there was no way that happened and then life continued like normal. That this mutual trust for each other and this interest - _interest? Was it interest?_ \- that flowed between them was just some figment of Nathaniel’s imagination. But if that was a dream, Nathaniel had been asleep for a very long time.

And Nathaniel didn’t have dreams. He just had nightmares. And this, _Andrew_ , was no nightmare to him. To others, yes, but to Nathaniel, Andrew was one of the few people he had left in the world.

Nathaniel had never had the experience of liking someone. It was just unrealistic to the Ravens. In the Ravens, people hate-fucked. Not many people left with a stable relationship ahead of them. And the Top Five, the Perfect Court, was not meant to have petty distractions such as someone to return home to. It was fame with the curse of loneliness, but fame always seemed much heavier a gift than the price of being alone.

However, with Andrew in the mix, and Nathaniel’s realization that, while he kept Andrew’s interest, Andrew kept Nathaniel’s too, perhaps to just have the option at something more wouldn’t be so bad. Nathaniel knew what Andrew said: there was no use in ever bringing up attraction. It would get nowhere, and get them nowhere. But now that Nathaniel was just given a taste at what something more could be, _who_ something more could be, he was addicted. Even with Andrew’s vocal affirmation that he despised him, he couldn’t help but want more.

“I can feel you staring, Wesninski,” Andrew said, his eyes on the lockers in front of him.  
“My sincerest apologies,” Nathaniel said, obviously not sorry. He quickly jumped to another topic, “So ninety percent of the time you want to kill me?”

“Ninety-one,” Andrew answered simply.

“Oh, the number increased?”

“As numbers usually do,” Andrew said.

Nathaniel brought his knees to his chest and rested his elbows on them. “What’s the other nine percent?” He thought he had an idea, but he wanted to hear what Andrew had to say for it.

“You were only supposed to be an option because the Ravens let no one else in,” Andrew said, avoiding Nathaniel’s question and turning his head to look at him. Nathaniel didn’t mind though; this answer seemed much more interesting. “If the Ravens disappeared, you were supposed to go with them. Now that they are on the path of vanishing, you should be, too.”

“And yet, here I am,” Nathaniel said, his voice quiet and eyes on Andrew. “If we actually get through the Ravens, I plan on staying.”

“You’re nothing outside the Ravens,” Andrew bit, his eyes narrowing.

“Good thing you want nothing.”

The first thing Nathaniel’s mind registered was Andrew leaning into him. He then prepared himself to be shoved away. He did not expect Andrew’s lips to be pressed against his.

Andrew kissed like Kevin always wished his played: passionate, hard. Nathaniel could feel his lips bruising but he felt a buzz running underneath his skin and his heart was thumping out of his chest. He could feel Andrew’s warmth radiating off of him and Nathaniel’s mind was running so fast that the only word he could get straight was _Andrew_. Nathaniel didn’t know beforehand whether or not Andrew’s lips would be soft, and they were surprisingly more than he expected.

One of Andrew’s hands was loosely holding onto the collar of his shirt, enough to make a presence but Nathaniel still had the ability to move if he pleased. He had no intention of moving, or at least not moving away.

It was when Nathaniel reached out to him that Andrew pulled away. Their faces remained mere inches from one another. Andrew’s held no immediate signs of distress, but the sudden tension in his shoulders and his hands pulled to his sides set off the thought in Nathaniel’s head that he did not want to be touched. Nathaniel dropped his hand.

They were both breathing hard, and Nathaniel’s eyes kept falling to Andrew’s lips. But he wasn’t going to make any forward advances if Andrew was the one who pulled away from him. Maybe it was best for the both of them that this kiss was stopped; the Ravens could so easily ruin them, and this… _whatever_ he had with Andrew remained the only thing untainted. If they stopped this now, the Ravens would never have the chance to get their claws around it.

But Nathaniel couldn’t bring himself to care about that right now because Andrew was still only inches away from him and Nathaniel found no tension in his own body and for once his mind was not focused on fighting or fleeing or death or destruction, but on a pair of lips against his.

Andrew was the one to break the silence. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I should go back down there,” Nathaniel said quietly. “We’ve been up here for a while. I have work I need to do.” Not that he was worried, but his brain was still trying to remember how to think coherently. Currently, the only thing his brain could form were thoughts on the little work he had to do for his classes. And Andrew, but that was not something necessarily new.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” Andrew said boredly as he sat back against the lockers.

“I’ll try,” Nathaniel said. He pushed himself up and was glad to find that his legs still worked.

He was able to avoid his fellow Ravens when he got back down to the Nest. Riko was in his own room, and if his teammates noticed his absence, they seemed to not care. Only Jean raised an eyebrow at him when he entered, but Nathaniel acted like he hadn’t seen that.

 _So that was the other nine percent_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)
> 
> sorry that this chapter was posted at like 9pm my immune system is failing me rn (okay that's a bit dramatic i just feel a bit terrible) and i have my first psych exam on monday so i've been studying that. also, apologies for these past two chapters being a lot shorter, i promise the next one is a lot longer
> 
> allisonreynoldsofficial.tumblr.com


	12. chapter eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew Minyard (noun): #5, an instigator at heart
> 
> "To Riko, that displeasement, that inability to meet his high standards, took the form of Andrew Minyard, #5, goalkeeper for the Ravens."
> 
> (tw: violence, mention of extreme violence)

Practices continued as normal, or as normal as they could without one of their leading strikers and a captain that was losing his tight grip on his Perfect Court. Practices continued, and Riko continued to lose his patience at a higher rate than normal. Riko still held the idea that the Ravens could be just as successful without Kevin; that they didn’t need Kevin. In Riko’s eyes, Kevin wasn’t the one holding everything together. In Riko’s eyes, Kevin only killed his career by going to the Foxes.

Ironically, it seemed like Riko had forgotten that he was the one who killed Kevin’s career when he smashed his hand.

But, yes, on terms of Riko continuing to be a self-righteous and violent asshole, practices continued as normal, to the Ravens’ dismay.

And for Nathaniel, he became very aware of the eyes that followed him and Andrew. He wished they would stop. His nerves were already sent on edge when he realized that his fellow Ravens already thought something was going on between Andrew and himself before anything really happened. But now that something had actually happened, their stares felt even heavier. It wasn’t that his teammates necessarily cared that it was Nathaniel and Andrew. It was that Nathaniel didn’t need all this sudden attention on him, or getting noticed by Riko. Hate fucking was a common thing among Ravens that Riko couldn’t give less than a shit about as long as his teammates still played well. But there had never been any instances of that in the Top Five. Nathaniel didn’t want to find out what Riko would do if he found out that two from his Perfect Court were involved with each other. They had been trained to avoid distractions, and to find a distraction in each other was against everything they were taught.

Then again, everything Andrew and Nathaniel have been doing for the past four months was against what they were conditioned to believe and do. So perhaps adding “hate-hooking-up with Andrew Minyard” to the list wasn’t the worst thing?

It wasn’t that Nathaniel hated Andrew. Frankly, he didn’t even believe Andrew when he said that he hated him. He just didn’t know if… whatever they had would get them anywhere. He wanted to hope that it would, and he wanted to believe that hope was the one thing that could not be stripped from him. Andrew, though, with his idea that hope equalled disappointment, would be quick to disagree; however, Nathaniel didn’t expect Andrew to agree with him on much in the first place.

For a split second, Nathaniel wondered why Andrew consumed his mind while at their morning practice. He considered the options of it being because Andrew kissed him, or because Nathaniel trusted Andrew, or because it was hard for his mind to deviate from the thing that was always on it.

Then, seeing Andrew stand lazily in goal, leaning on his racket, as a scrimmage worked out around him, Nathaniel realized that, yes, it was those aforementioned reasons, but it was also because Andrew was doing an excellent job at fraying whatever nerves Riko had left. Nathaniel, being a backliner, was positioned in front of Andrew. Riko, being a striker, was currently at the other end of the court making his sixth goal. Though, when Riko turned to head back to his side of the court, even from a distance, Nathaniel could see the tautness of his body when he laid eyes on Andrew.

As every Raven knew, Tetsuji demanded the best from his team, as did Riko. However, there were differences between the two. Tetsuji enjoyed things that would keep their position as best Exy team: a winning streak never broken, the best athletes possible, the toughest training regimen, and if a violent beating would keep his players in line, then that was on the list, too. Nathaniel believes that every person on the team, Top Five included, had faced at least a fraction of Tetsuji’s violent wrath. But it appeared that Andrew’s apathetic attitude was not what sparked Tetsuji’s rage. Andrew could not give any less of a shit about Exy, yes, but he still was the best goalie that the Ravens had probably ever seen. So, because Andrew gave results, that particular quality of his was not what made Tetsuji sometimes direct his anger at him.

Riko, on the other hand, demanded the best, and expected the same drive that he and Kevin had ingrained in them. Riko would not settle for anything less than determination to be the best. He refused to tolerate incapability in the sport, but he also would not accept any attitude that was not “sleep, eat, breathe, exy”. To their captain, they were not worth anything more than what they were as an Exy player. If Riko’s playing and attitude standards were not met, they were nothing to Riko.  While his uncle turned to violence when faced with disobedience, Riko turned to violence whenever he felt displeasement. He refused to handle an athlete that, he believed, did not bolster his chances at being the future best player on the US Court.

To Riko, that displeasement, that inability to meet his high standards, took the form of Andrew Minyard, #5, goalkeeper for the Ravens.

It seemed that Andrew had finally pushed Riko to his limit.

Riko ripped his own helmet off as he stormed over to Andrew. “Either give a shit, or get the fuck off.” His voice was louder than it needed to be.

“I don’t think you’re the one who has the authority to order me to do that,” Andrew said. Like always, his voice had no expression. When he took his helmet off, Nathaniel saw that his face didn’t have any expression either.

“Remember your fucking place here,” Riko bit at him. “We were the ones who brought you here to serve your purpose on this team. This fucking attitude problem of yours won’t make us Court material. You have no right to defy your team, and Captain, when we made you who you are.”

Andrew looked utterly bored as he leaned on his racket. He cocked his head to the right. “Correct me if I’m wrong, oh Captain, but I remember Kevin being much more persuasive,” Andrew said. Nathaniel smiled, and was glad no one could see it behind his helmet. “And, if I recall, you needed me more than I needed this team, considering that you came searching for me. And, now don’t worry, you don’t have to wait much longer since this is my final point, but I couldn’t care less about what you do with your life. I do not care about your placement, or not, on Court.”

Nathaniel would have cheered for Andrew if it wasn’t for the silence that quickly spread over the court. Nathaniel also would have cheered for Andrew if he didn’t perhaps just walk himself into hell. For Andrew had a habit of talking back to Kevin; he would fight against Kevin and defy him and make everyone on the Ravens question Kevin’s decision to bring Andrew to them. For all the time Andrew had defied Kevin, he had never turned his words to Riko. Perhaps Kevin was just always there in his line of sight when Riko wasn’t, or perhaps even Andrew knew the risks of crossing Riko. But now, with Kevin not there, Andrew’s defiance found Riko and had left their Captain humiliated on his own court.

Riko looked stupefied for a total of two-point-five seconds before his helmet and racket hit the floor.

Nathaniel had seen Riko enraged many, many times over the years. He believed that the angriest he had ever seen Riko was when Kevin left.

The expression on Riko’s face now took second place.

When Riko bounded closer to Andrew, Nathaniel couldn’t help but look around him to see how his other teammates were reacting. Some had their helmets off, and he could see the tenseness of their jaws. He spotted Jean’s hands clenched around his racket with such force that Nathaniel thought he might snap it. And then his eyes fell on their Coach, who was waiting in the doorway to the outer court and looked like he had no intention of stopping his nephew.

The scene that they played out in front of Nathaniel seemed all too familiar. An enraged striker lifting his hand to strike a defiant goalkeeper. A quicker goalkeeper catching the striker’s wrist in his hand.

“Do you need me to tell you the same thing I told Kevin? I hate repeating myself.”

The other hand lifting to strike. The other hand catching its wrist.

Riko had multiple inches on Andrew, but Riko looked like nothing in front of Andrew.

The Ravens had truly never seen someone so defiant as Andrew Minyard.

Nathaniel grinned behind his helmet. His stomach churned at seeing how angry Riko was, but his fear was overwhelmed by how he felt at seeing Andrew not take Riko’s bullshit. Seeing Riko’s wrists caught in Andrew’s hands, Riko’s livid expression, and Andrew’s expressionless one just made Nathaniel feel… _something_. Something good, in a weird way.

“I told Kevin to fucking train you,” Riko spat. “I told him that he was disgracing this court for bringing your miserable self here.”

“You wound me,” Andrew said. He was not hurt.

“Watch yourself, Minyard,” Riko snapped. He yanked his hands away from Andrew’s. Andrew freely let them go and crossed his arms over his chest. “You know who was the power here, and what happens when worthless people try to cross their boundaries. You are capable of nothing, while there are others who are capable of everything.”

“I’m terrified,” Andrew said. He was not scared.

Nathaniel took one last look around. His eyes once again fell on Tetsuji. It was impossible to not notice how tense his body was, and the way his eyes bore holes into Riko or Andrew, or perhaps both. Nathaniel felt a shiver go down his spine and turned back to the scene in front of him.

He brushed off the momentary nerves and replaced them with that _something_ he was feeling for Andrew. That thing without a name but that thing that made him feel… more than fine.

(So much more than fine that, when Riko’s fist connected with Nathaniel’s cheek after practice in the Nest, Nathaniel for once wasn’t as terrified. He was doing what he needed to and protecting those who needed it, and he for once did not extremely mind taking the hit.

This was what he and Andrew were meant to do for each other. Not necessarily accept violence left and right, but to protect each other, and to break down Riko.

And breaking down Riko was definitely a constantly occurring event.)

It seemed like their practice took decades to finally finish. Once it had, Tetsuji called Andrew to speak with him. Nathaniel looked at Andrew over his shoulder as he headed to the locker room and the latter headed to Tetsuji’s office.

Andrew had not returned from his office yet.

Nathaniel looked at the clock on his bedside table.

The practice had ended an hour ago.

Nathaniel felt the fear he did when Kevin had not returned from practice, either. He thought of bloodied hands and tear-streaked faces. He thought about how that was only Riko. Tetsuji had the capability to be so much worse.

Nathaniel felt sick. He felt very sick and he wished his legs carried him to the bathroom but instead he found them dragging his body out of the Nest and into the locker room.

His heart hammered in his chest at what he would find. Or what he wouldn’t. What if Andrew wasn’t in the locker room? Would he still be with Tetsuji? Or what if he wasn’t even with him? What if Andrew just… wasn’t there anymore? Or what if he was there, but was like Kevin? Tetsuji was a terrible creature; Nathaniel wouldn’t put it past him. What if Andrew was worse off than their former striker?

The thoughts in Nathaniel’s head weren’t doing much to calm his twisting stomach and shaking legs, but he still managed to get into the locker room. The lights shone throughout the room, but he saw no small blond in his direct sight. He listened for haggard breathing and didn’t know if he felt better or worse when he was met with silence.

He found himself walking every aisle of the locker room in search for Andrew. The black lockers and walls only made the room seem more menacing and vacant. He hadn’t realized that he enjoyed the solitude the locker room granted when he was with Andrew. Now, Nathaniel just felt like the darkness was going to swallow him whole before he found Andrew. Though, he couldn’t care about the void surrounding him when Andrew was currently lost in it, or still with the one that dictated it.

As each row came up blank, Nathaniel felt his hands shake more and more and his heart pound so hard and so fast that he could feel its electricity jolting inside his body.

When he finally approached the final row, relief washed over him, for there was Andrew sitting against the lockers. Though, after one second of looking at him, that relief was overcome by fear, for it seemed that Andrew was sitting against the lockers because that was all that his body could handle.

The first thing Nathaniel noticed was the bruise that was already a swollen, bright red splotch on Andrew’s cheek. As Nathaniel approached him, the next thing he noticed was that Andrew kept his eyes trained on the ground and away from him.

The only thing Nathaniel could see were the bruises on Andrew’s face. There was the one on his cheek, and then another on the other side of his face on his eye. He knew that there were more injuries somewhere; Tetsuji never just stopped at the face. Bruises could be hidden by helmets and by gear, and could be brushed off as going too hard at a practice. Tetsuji would go until things would become noticeable.

“Andrew,” Nathaniel said. He couldn’t find any other words. He moved to slide down the lockers next to him.

“No,” Andrew said, his voice harder than expected, given his state. Nathaniel froze with a hand pressed against a locker. When he then moved to step away, Andrew followed with, “Don’t.”

Out of “No” and “Don’t”, Nathaniel worked to the conclusion that he shouldn’t be so close to Andrew, but also shouldn’t just leave. He slowly walked to the other side of the lockers and sat across from Andrew, keeping his limbs close.

“Are you okay?” Nathaniel asked, keeping his voice quiet. It was a stupid question; the answer was obvious. He still felt like he had to ask, though.

Andrew said nothing and instead finally turned his gaze to Nathaniel. Nathaniel had begun to get used to Andrew’s expressionless face, but at this moment it just sent a shiver down his back. Despite the injuries, he didn’t even look inconvenienced. He didn’t look anything.

Nathaniel accepted that he wasn’t going to get an answer and instead let him and Andrew sit in silence.

After the two spending minutes staring blankly at the lockers and the benches and anything but each other, Andrew said, “I got myself here.” Nathaniel could hear the _“and I can get myself out of it”_ floating unsaid on air. It wasn’t an assurance; it wasn’t Andrew answering Nathaniel’s question. It was Andrew telling Nathaniel that his help was not something he required. He didn’t need Nathaniel’s shoulder to lean on or his pity.

“I know,” Nathaniel said, looking at Andrew. Andrew refused to look back.

What Nathaniel noticed though was not the way Andrew kept his eyes off him, but the way he carried himself in that particular moment. Andrew’s taut position and hunched shoulders did not go unnoticed. He sat with his muscles clenched like he was ready to fight or to flee. His legs and arms were pulled close to him, despite Nathaniel keeping his own limbs close so that he wouldn’t accidentally brush against Andrew. Andrew’s hands were resting upon his knees, and his thumbs were tapping erratic rhythms.

Nathaniel was still trying to fully understand Andrew Minyard. If there was one thing he did understand, however, it was how a person handled themselves in a situation where they were preparing themselves to run. He had seen this tenseness in himself whenever Riko got too close.

Nathaniel could only guess what Andrew just experienced with Tetsuji, and he could only assume what he was thinking. But he wasn’t going to subject Andrew to an unwanted guest.

“If you want me to leave, I will,” Nathaniel said.

“I believe I told you not to,” Andrew said. His head tilt in Nathaniel’s direction did not go unnoticed. “Your hearing concerns me, Nathaniel.”

“Well, it’s just that, to me, it looks like you don’t want someone to be here.” He kept his eyes on Andrew, waiting for a reaction. Andrew did nothing. “You seem uncomfortable. Why should I stay here?”

Andrew did not say anything for a while. He only straightened his posture again and kept his eyes on anything but the other boy in his company. His body did not loosen, and his jaw did not unclench. Nathaniel took that as a cue to leave; if Andrew was so tense, he wasn’t going to subject him to an audience.

Nathaniel stood. “I’ll be downstairs,” he said. There was no _let me know if you need help_ tacked on at the end. Both of them knew that Andrew was capable of picking himself up, literally and metaphorically, and getting down the steps to their living space. It was more of a reminder that someone would be there when Andrew finally did that; that someone was on his side.

Nathaniel had already taken a few steps away from Andrew when the latter said, “That’s why.”

Nathaniel didn’t understand what he meant, but he just looked over his shoulder for a moment before continuing out of the locker room. It was only until he reached the bottom of the stairs and came to an empty hallway that the twisting in his gut turned from fear -fear for what he would find, fear for Andrew- to anger. It was similar in his reaction to Riko when he decided to finally show up in the locker room after Nathaniel cleaned Kevin up; it ate him alive. He felt it spread from his stomach to his heart, so that it constricted, to his hands, so that they shook, and to his mind, so that all he could think of was destroying Riko and Tetsuji Moriyama.

To be more specific, he thought of one day strangling the life out of the pair. Of all the ways a person could be killed, he believed strangling would finally put Riko and Tetsuji on an equal playing ground. They could finally suffer like all the rest of them did; a slow, drawn out process as you watched your life slow and dim right before you and you couldn’t do anything but wait until it was finally all over.

Nathaniel Wesninski was not Nathan Wesninski; Nathan Wesninski was a murderer, a servant to the Moriyamas, a man who would sell his only son _to_ the Moriyamas. Nathan was known to be plagued with anger and the ability to kill with no mercy. For all his life, Nathaniel wondered if he was the same. He wanted the answer to be no. He did not want to mirror a man that would sell his children. But his thoughts brought him to his rage when he found Kevin, and to them now. He thought of how his hands shook when he was angry and how quick he turned to fighting.

Nathaniel liked to believe that he was not Nathan, but sometimes he could feel his father’s violence seeping through the cracks. Sometimes Nathan and Nathaniel felt like they were only separated by a few letters.

Nathaniel Wesninski was not Nathan Wesninski, he did not wish to kill for the rest of his life. But after seeing what was done to Andrew, he couldn’t wait to see Riko and Tetsuji’s demise. He wanted to fight for what he knew was right, and fight back. He wanted to avenge what had been done to Kevin, and what now had happened to Andrew. He wanted to fight for the life that was taken away from him. He just hoped that the process wouldn’t make him more Nathan than Nathaniel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thanks for reading!!! as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!!!
> 
> also, i've had a new tumblr url change!!! instead of allisonreynoldsofficial, i am actuallygansey, i've finally taken the form of who i actually am. also i needed a gansey url like nathaniel needs riko to fuck off (ba-dum-tss)
> 
> im so tired u guys, have a good night or whenever you're reading this!!!
> 
> (actuallygansey.tumblr.com)


	13. chapter twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do you really get used to all the orange. do you really.

There were many things Nathaniel did not like about the Palmetto State Foxes. He didn’t like that they were a team of rejects that received so much publicity when it should be going to teams that deserved it, like the Ravens, or even the Trojans. He didn’t like how they managed to keep their Class I rank after all the failures they have had. He didn’t like how they barely came together as a team for games; he felt like he saw more fighting than playing. He didn’t like how the weather was still so warm, even in October; he couldn’t necessarily blame the Foxes for that, but he was still bitter.

Most of all, though, he hated how orange everything was. Everything was too orange and too bright and he was getting a headache. At least the darkness of the Nest was easy on the eyes; being at Palmetto was like being blinded. Between the shining sun, heat, obnoxious fans, and even more obnoxious colors, Nathaniel really just wanted to kick the Foxes’ asses and go back to the Nest. The only thing keeping him here was the fact that, for the first time in months, the Ravens would see Kevin as a coach instead of an athlete. None of the Ravens were concerned about losing. The Ravens hadn’t lost a game yet, which surprised no one. They weren’t even concerned that the Foxes had won five out of their seven games; most of them were close calls. No, the Ravens thought more about how their coach and Perfect Court would react to seeing Kevin, and what the reporters would end up saying. Nathaniel could already hear the grating questions thrown himself and the rest of the Perfect Court about how they felt about this “betrayal” or if they’re worried about their rank or if they think they’re better without Kevin.

Frankly, Nathaniel was just hoping to see that Kevin was healing and well. He wasn’t worried about the game in relation to their plan. Kevin had told Nathaniel and Andrew to not worry about whether or not the Foxes beat the Ravens. The Ravens could completely destroy the Foxes and the plan could still go as they wanted it to. Kevin just kept saying on every phone call that his new team was getting a new athlete in November, and then things would hit the ground running. Nathaniel was still wary in trusting a random new athlete, but the confidence Kevin had was uplifting.

The game itself would be a pain in the ass. But at least Nathaniel had Kevin watching from the outer court observing how to make the Foxes more efficient in playing against the Ravens, and he had Andrew on court with him, a stabilizing force for him with all that had been going on.

Nathaniel was slightly less bitter about their current situation when he entered the locker room. Slightly. Him, Andrew, and Kevin all being in the same vicinity helped sedate his annoyance, even when affronted with bright, white lockers and orange paw prints printed everywhere in the guest locker room.

That bitterness subsided even more when Andrew took the locker one away from Nathaniel. Riko had the locker across from Nathaniel, and Jean next to him, but with Andrew so near to him, Riko’s presence didn’t feel so damning. Nathaniel felt a smile pull at his lips and turned back to his locker before people could see.

When Nathaniel had his gear pulled on, save his helmet and gloves, he closed his locker and found Riko waiting for him at the end of the row. He was waiting for all of them, eyes flicking from Nathaniel, to Andrew, to Jean.

“Tonight, we’re making Kevin realize that leaving the Ravens was the biggest mistake of his life,” Riko started. It wasn’t an inspirational speech before a game, it was a command to make Kevin regret everything he had done in the past couple of months. “He thinks he can pull this worthless team out of the gutter? Instead, he’s going to find out that Kevin Day died the moment he walked out of Castle Evermore.” Riko spoke like the other three in front of him were all on his side; Nathaniel wondered how he would react if he knew that all three of them, along with Kevin, were plotting his demise. One day, Riko would realize that the mistake made wasn’t Kevin leaving the Ravens, but it was Riko’s own over-consumption of power and pride.

Instead, they just nodded along, because tonight Riko expected the Ravens to win. The Ravens would win. In March, when they all met again, except this time for the Championships at Edgar Allan, the Ravens would not win.

Nathaniel was used to being on his guard. Very rarely could he turn to a person and know that he trusted them. The way his life had folded out had caused him to believe that there were few people in the world deserving of trust. But this situation, right here right now, was so much different. Nathaniel wasn’t used to putting so much confidence in something, in a person, in  _ Andrew Minyard _ . But this felt right, trusting Andrew felt right. Nathaniel gave Andrew his back, and finally he felt like someone wasn’t holding a knife to it. Andrew took Nathaniel and, no matter how much he denied it, gave him an alliance that formed not due to circumstance, but because both boys believed that the other was trustworthy. Then Kevin got involved, more than he already was, and Nathaniel realized that their King was going to be outnumbered. 

Nathaniel was so ready for the collapse of Riko’s kingdom that his chest ached with want.

The team collected their rackets from the foyer. No one spoke, not even Tetsuji, who was just sweeping his eyes over all of them. Tetsuji was never one for motivational words; he leaned more towards threats. But a game like this required none

Nathaniel could hear the voice of the crowd before they even reached the court. He heard the Foxes’ fight song playing and assumed that their opponents had just entered the court. The Ravens entered not long after, and their arrival was immediately signaled by their own fight song, consumed with drums and power. Their song was not the Foxes’. The Foxes’ was loud, overwhelmed with horns and too much enthusiasm for a team like theirs. The Ravens’ was powerful, a reminder to who they play against that they are not to be taken lightly. His ears buzzed with the drums and the screaming. He ran his eyes over the court and the audience that awaited the most anticipated show. Everything was still very orange, but Nathaniel did not miss the clumps of black. Right above the Ravens’ bench was a reserved section for their fans, and their voices only grew when their eyes found the team. Stragglers who weren’t included in that section scattered throughout. Mourners of the Riko-Kevin split held signs that read “1 - 2”.

It was always one and two. It might always be one and two. Nathaniel hoped that one day Kevin would be his own person.

Nathaniel’s eyes finally brought him to the Foxes, who were already by their bench and watching them. A pitiful team of only eight, they shouldn’t even had been allowed to play. But when Kevin Day said to wait because he had someone coming, the ERC tended to listen.

Kevin Day, the man of every reporters’ and sports fans’ interest, stood with his head coach (and father, unbeknownst to the head coach) David Wymack. From where Nathaniel stood as they walked to their own bench, he couldn’t see any bandages on Kevin’s left hand. He could only imagine the scars that marred it.

Nathaniel didn’t get a long time to stare, for Tetsuji sent them on their warm-up laps. They took the inner court and ran in the opposite direction of the Foxes. How their laps usually went was that Riko and Kevin would take the front, Nathaniel and Jean right behind them, and then Andrew right behind the four, with the Ravens then trailing behind him. It was to show who dominated the team, who the Ravens fell in line behind. However, with Kevin gone, Nathaniel found himself being pulled up besides Riko. Andrew ended up next to Jean, and the team followed behind like nothing had changed.

“Do not look at them when we pass them,” Riko said over his shoulder. It was said to the entire team, but directed towards the Perfect Court. Reporters, fans, everyone expected them to be besides themselves with their loss for Kevin; Riko wanted to show the world that the Ravens’ were better off without him. When Riko received nods and a couple of comments of affirmation in response, he seemed satisfied and continued with leading the laps.

The Ravens did not look at the Foxes when they passed, and the Foxes did not look at the Ravens. Riko did not look at Kevin when he passed, and Kevin kept his eyes on the clipboard in front of them. Nathaniel would admit to having snuck a glance at their former striker; he hoped Riko did not notice.

Tetsuji then separated the team into those who would continue laps, and those who would start drills. All strikers and dealers were pulled to shoot on goal, while their defense line continued running. Nathaniel always thought it was useless to shoot on an empty goal, since now Jean and Andrew were leading the pack, but he figured Andrew wouldn’t have done much. The Ravens, even with a smaller team on the court, still outnumbered the Foxes by multiple bodies.

When warm ups were called to an end, the only players remaining on the court were Riko, and the Foxes’ captain, Danielle Wilds. Kevin had said that Danielle had admirable qualities as a captain, but needed to work harder as a player if she wanted to bring her team to success. After seeing Danielle with her toothy grins with her teammates and determination on the court, however, Nathaniel thought that perhaps Kevin underestimated the captain, and Nathaniel found himself with a growing respect for her.

It doubled when she met Riko at half-court for the coin toss and gave him a wide grin. The two had met before, and she had to know that Riko was, at best, an asshole. And yet, she met him with kindness, even if it was perhaps fake. Nathaniel didn’t think he could fathom doing what Danielle did.

The Ravens got first serve, so the Foxes got home side of the court. Both coaches readied their starting lineup. For the first time in playing for the Ravens, Nathaniel was looking at the back of Riko’s head instead of Kevin’s. The lineup had already all pulled on their helmets, but Nathaniel still felt the difference. With Kevin, Nathaniel was once able to call him a friend before he was just a fellow Raven. Riko was no friend, and with him looming in front, Nathaniel felt like he was being lead to doom. But with Andrew behind him, he felt like he could escape and leave Riko in hell.

The subs walked wordlessly past the lineup and out to the benches. Riko looked over his shoulder and said, “Don’t fuck this up.” The words seemed directed towards the line of athletes behind him, but Nathaniel knew they were for himself, Jean, and Andrew. For Riko, this game was a statement that the Ravens would prosper. For this game, Nathaniel won’t disappoint him; he can make no promises for later.

Nathaniel hadn’t realized that he missed the Foxes’ starting lineup being called out until Tetsuji motioned for them to go forward. He barely heard Riko be announced when he stepped out onto the court; the crowd went wild for the sons of Exy.

“Number three, Nathaniel Wesninski.”

Nathaniel stepped onto the court, trying to tune out the cheers that followed him. His ears rang, and he didn’t need this distraction at the moment, he didn’t want it. As he walked to his starting point, his eyes skimmed over where the Foxes were set up. He found Kevin, looking down at a clipboard in his hands. Even from here, Nathaniel could see that his knuckles were white. A woman next to him was speaking intently. Coach David Wymack had his eyes switching from his own athletes to their opponents; he knew what Ravens were capable of.

His eyes then scoped out his opponents. Despite the helmets and heavy gear protecting each body, he knew the Foxes’ starting lineup. The Ravens could list the lineup of each team they played; knowing the lineup determined whether the game was actually worth their time. This one, determined by the Ravens as one, was not. The Foxes had strong players, such as Matthew Boyd, Seth Gordon, and Danielle Wilds, but as a group they could barely pull it together. Danielle became their saving grace when she took on role of Captain, but even then the Foxes hardly have any coordination.

Renee Walker was currently in goal. Allison Reynolds and Danielle Wilds were in their positions as defensive and offensive dealers, respectively. Seth Gordon and Janie Smalls were on as leading strikers. Kevin told Nathaniel that he believed Smalls would end up benched before the season was halfway over. Matthew Boyd was on as one one the starting backliners. Nathaniel’s eyes then froze on a jersey with the name  _ MINYARD _ in large, orange letters going across the back.

Nathaniel hadn’t thought to mention Aaron Minyard to Andrew after their conversation that night in the locker room. With everything that had been happening, with sneaking around to talk to Kevin and finding out ways to sit in the locker room, and still just being a Raven, Andrew’s brother and the thought that they would soon be seeing each other slipped Nathaniel’s mind. For a split second, Nathaniel wondered if Andrew felt anything towards it. If he expected some brotherly reunion, or even a simple nod towards each other. But then he remembered what Kevin said about how Aaron barely mentioned Andrew, and how Andrew had only mentioned Aaron twice in his time on the Ravens. Once, when he talked to Nathaniel in the locker room. Second, when he first got to the Ravens in his drugged state and said that his black armbands were to tell him and Aaron apart, despite being in different states. Andrew had said that he sent Aaron to Palmetto because it would be what was best for him. Nathaniel couldn’t help but wonder what Andrew was keeping Aaron away from. 

The ball had been passed to their starting dealer, Engle. There were ten seconds on the clock and counting down. Despite the fact that there was no reason to feel any fear or nerves for this particular game, Nathaniel felt a jolt go through him. It was times like this, when he was watching the clock tick down and the crowd was roaring, that he remembered how much he loved Exy. Life could be shit, everything was being pulled apart at the seams, and if things went terribly he could be dead in a couple months. But he felt alive on the court. When he and Jean helped to guard goal, everything that wasn’t Exy washed away, and he was able to just focus on the one thing that he could truly use the word “love” to describe how he felt.

The buzzer rang through the court, signalling the start, and the sound had barely cut off before Engle served the ball. Nathaniel didn’t watch where it went; instead, his eyes were on Seth Gordon. Gordon was the strongest striker the Foxes currently had, and from the way he was racing towards him, Nathaniel assumed he was Gordon’s mark. Gordon had height on Nathaniel, but that meant nothing when their skills were compared.

Allison Reynolds had gotten possession of the ball and served it to Renee Walker in goal. Walker shot it back to Danielle Wilds. From there, she served it to Seth, who had now put what he deemed enough distance in between himself and Nathaniel.

It still didn’t stop Nathaniel from intercepting his pass and rebounding it back to Engle.

The ball was now near the Foxes’ goal, and in Riko’s possession. Then, in a pass that went from Riko to Engle to Jenkins and then back to Riko, the wall behind Walker lit up red. They were two and a half minutes into first half.

That was a sequence that continued through both halves, and by the ending buzzer, Nathaniel was left staring up at a scoreboard that read fourteen-three, Ravens, and three of those four points for the foxes were scored when Andrew wasn’t in goal. The stands roared around them, and he had a feeling that most of it was expressions of hatred for his team.

Nathaniel wasn’t surprised that the Ravens had crushed the Foxes. He knew it was going to happen, as did Andrew, Kevin, and ninety-nine percent of people. He was surprised with the Foxes, however; they put up a fight. They were more organized than usual.

It pleased him to know that Kevin was making a difference.

Nathaniel found himself without worry for how the next couple months would proceed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! feedback is appreciated!!!
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	14. chapter thirteen

Nathaniel found himself swallowing guilt every time his eyes fell upon Jean Moreau. Nathaniel, for such a long time, only felt guilt towards his mother, the life she never got to have, and the apology she never got from him for fucking up her life.  But now that guilt had reached out its claws and dragged Jean down with it, and Nathaniel was consumed by it. Despite the fact that nothing had happened, the twist in Nathaniel’s gut got worse and worse each time he saw his roommate to the point where he was choked by it. Even his self assurances that Jean was being watched by Andrew, Andrew made no promises but he was still keeping an eye on Jean, and that Riko would have to get through Nathaniel and Andrew before he got to Jean only sedated his nerves for a short span of time.

And while sitting on his own bed while Jean sat on his, the span of time was running out. Jean was sitting with his back against the wall and his knees bent. A book was propped open and Nathaniel was amazed with the calmness of his roommate. Nathaniel, who could probably count how many times he had truly been content on less than ten fingers (most of which involved a certain blond goalkeeper), had one knee pulled up to his chest with his chin resting upon it.

Apparently, while reading, Jean picked up on Nathaniel’s gradual decline of stability, because he said, “You… doing okay?”

“Fine,” Nathaniel said, definitely lying.

“Would you like for me to pretend that I believe you?”

Nathaniel turned his head to look at Jean and rested his cheek on his knee. “That would be greatly appreciated.”

Jean nodded. Nathaniel expected him to go back to his book, but instead Jean closed it and shifted his body to face Nathaniel. He said in French and with a quieter voice, “You never told me how Kevin was doing.”

Nathaniel paused; he hadn’t expected Kevin to come up. Kevin and Jean’s relationship was similar to Kevin and Nathaniel’s in the way that they were once friends, but time and circumstance and Riko Moriyama pulled them apart. While Riko and Kevin rose to stardom, Nathaniel and Jean stayed behind as punching bags and property. Nathaniel then nodded to the place on his bed in front of him, and Jean understood the cue and moved to sit in front of Nathaniel.

Nathaniel then thought about Kevin. How  _ was _ he doing? How was adored Kevin Day reacting to being out of his element, surrounded by people leagues behind him, with a father that didn’t know he was a father? Nathaniel remembered Kevin’s clutched hands and white knuckles at their game against the Foxes. He remembered his drunk franticness when he found out Riko and the Ravens would be in the same district. Kevin had left the Ravens to get away from Riko, and Riko, ever the lurker, followed Kevin straight to his doorstep.

“He’s frustrated,” Nathaniel finally decided upon, also speaking in French. It was an understatement, but anything would be in describing what Kevin was going through. “His entire life did a complete one-eighty. He lived knowing that one day he would rule the world of Exy with Riko, but Riko ended up being the one to take that away from him. He went from being a star to an assistant coach for the Palmetto State Foxes.”

Jean nodded, his eyes staring ahead instead of at Nathaniel. “Do you really think the Foxes will win?”

Nathaniel looked down at his bedsheets and scrunched them up in his hands. He had faith in Kevin to get the Foxes to where they needed to be, but the cold, harsh reality that Nathaniel had always known still whispered worst case scenarios in the back of his mind.

Then he thought of their game against the Foxes, and how for the first time he felt the relief of finally trusting someone completely. He thought of the Foxes getting three goals past Andrew, the best goalie in the ERC against the currently lowest ranked team. He thought of Kevin helping govern that team, and he realized that perhaps he wasn’t so scared of the new player Kevin was bringing it. They would be debuted in a week, and Nathaniel found himself more curious than apprehensive. And, most of all, when Andrew told him that the Foxes would win, Nathaniel believed him.

So yes, he did have doubts speaking to him in the back of his mind. But between Kevin and Andrew’s voices, the doubts were quieter than usual.

“I think if everything goes as planned,” Nathaniel finally said. “They can win.”

Jean nodded again, turning his head towards Nathaniel. “And then, if that works out along with everything concerning… loose ends, we’ll be free from all of this?”

“If everything works out, we will at least have no more Riko and Tetsuji,” Nathaniel said. “We want to show the world what the Ravens truly are: fucked up. We live in an abusive, manipulative hivemind, and we’re trying to end it all. It’s risky, to say the least.” He sighed. “It requires a lot of careful planning and secrets and…” He trailed off, looking up at his ceiling. “And I think it might actually work. Andrew, Kevin, and I have the plan laid out in front of us. It’s just putting it all together.” He nodded. “So yes, if everything works, I believe we can be free after this is done.”

When Jean said nothing, Nathaniel looked back at him and was surprised to find him with a small smile on his face. “If we do get out of here,” Jean said, his voice soft. “I would like to see France again. Not where my parents are, as you probably understand why, but just to see it again.”

Nathaniel and Jean were both bought by the Moriyamas. However, even then, some of the circumstances behind their purchase were different. Nathaniel was bought because, otherwise, he would have been a loose end and would have been executed. Jean was bought because the Moreaus couldn’t afford the debt they owed the Moriyamas. Nathaniel didn’t have much of a move to make; Jean, on the other hand, came all the way from France. Nathaniel remembered him barely able to speak English, and then him being forced to not use French at all, since no one else could understand him, while simultaneously learning English and Japanese. Jean still taught Kevin and Nathaniel French in secret, though.

Nathaniel wondered what it felt like to have a home to go back to.

“It would be nice to be able to live in the outside world again,” Nathaniel murmured.

“It would be.” Jean then sighed. “Listen, I know you haven’t told me the entirety of your plan. You probably can’t, because from what it sounds like, you’re dealing with life and death. I still… it’s very frightening to hear about what you’re doing. No one has ever fought back before, and you three are going straight for the core of everything. Even you can’t say this plan is foolproof, can you?” Nathaniel hesitated before nodding. “Exactly. It seems like things are very particular. And when things are particular and need to be done a certain way or else they don’t work, it’s very easy for things to go wrong.” Jean paused. “If things do go right, and you manage to actually take all this down and reveal what has been going on, I hope you find a life outside of here.”

Nathaniel nodded again. _ I hope you find a life outside of here.  _ For months, all Nathaniel had been thinking about was destroying the Ravens. He thought of taking down Riko and Tetsuji, and revealing the hivemind that has governed the team since Tetsuji started it. But this was the first time he found himself thinking of what happened after. If he was in one piece after all of this, or at least alive, and things had managed to fall into place, he had endless possibilities, it seemed.

The thought of a future was overwhelming. It took him three tries to manage out, “I hope you do, too.” He then coughed around the feeling in his throat in an attempt to revive his vocal cords. “Just, steer clear of all of this, okay? I know you said you can’t sit back and watch us do this, but please, Jean. Me and Andrew are currently the ones here involved in all of this. We are the buffer between you and Riko. He goes after whichever one of us he can get his hands on first, so don’t let that be you. Let us either live or die through this while you keep your head down. You shouldn’t be the one getting hurt because of us. You and I both know that I can’t make any promises, but just stay away from all this shit and let me and Andrew take it.” Jean looked as if he was about to disagree, so Nathaniel continued before he could say anything. “I think… I think you can get out of this okay. Or, well, as okay as a Raven can be.”

Jean didn’t say anything. Nathaniel received no cues from him as to whether or not Jean even believed him. But, finally, after staring at his hands in his lap, Jean gave a small nod, stood, and went back to his book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys what's up, i'm jordyn, i turned eighteen today, and i never fucking learned how to properly treat fictional characters
> 
> ALSO the love of my life rae @reneewalkerofficial made this really cool edit for this fic so please go check it and her out bc she is super cool and i love her and she is like a huge part of the reason why this fic is a thing!!! http://reneewalkerofficial.tumblr.com/post/166235540873/this-felt-right-trusting-andrew-felt-right


	15. chapter fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exy rules and regulations state that a team must have nine players to be considered eligible for games

Exy Rules and Regulations stated that an Exy team must have a minimum of nine athletes. Failure to provide at least nine athletes could result in disqualification of said Exy team. The Palmetto State Foxes, however, were a unique case, because the Palmetto State Foxes were  _ always _ a unique case. Last year, after the Foxes’ seniors graduated and a new recruitment didn’t work out, the Foxes were left with eight players. Fortunately for them, Kevin Day joined as an assistant coach before the season started and saved all of their asses by claiming that he had a ninth player for them, and that they would be available by November.

This was met with mixed feelings from many different people. Some believed that this new player was just a scapegoat to keep the Foxes from getting disqualified. Others said that Kevin Day, despite who he once was, should not have the power to bring in a new player, thus saving the Foxes from elimination. Others were excited to see what Exy prodigy Kevin Day could offer to the Foxes, and if it could save them.

A rumor, most likely formed by a sports gossip columnist, said the new player was a fellow Raven at one point. This was disputed by Tetsuji himself along with other teammates, them all having shown that only one athlete was taken off the Raven roster, and he was now coaching the Foxes.

(Reporters still asked for multiple copies of Tetsuji’s roster, however.)

There were also mixed opinions throughout the Ravens regarding Kevin’s new recruit. Nathaniel and Andrew trusted Kevin in what he was doing, and Jean trusted Nathaniel’s belief, but none of the three vocalized that. Then there were those like Engle and Jenkins (among others) who never got along with Kevin in the first place, and believed that no recruit could save his career, which they assumed was over. Then there were those like Reacher and Johnson who believed that Kevin should have used all of this to help the Ravens, and still feel betrayed by Kevin’s departure. And then finally, in his usual fashion, Riko Moriyama was cocky and amused. He was entertained by the idea that Kevin thought he could save the Foxes.

The Ravens were all crammed into the lounge of the Nest. The giant TV on the wall was on the channel that the Foxes game would be on. Andrew, Nathaniel, and Jean had taken over the couch off to the side with Andrew and Jean at the arms and Nathaniel in the middle. Riko was in a recliner, talking amicably with his fellow teammates and making quips about the Foxes. Nathaniel thought that he looked too friendly, and was now not only waiting for Kevin’s new recruit’s debut, but also when Riko’s facade of friendliness and camaraderie would fade.

Riko was like that, in that he acted friendly and amiable around reporters or people who agreed with him, but the moment things didn’t go his way he devolved into a violent temper tantrum, to say the least.

Nathaniel dragged his attention back to the television. The pre-game panel of reporters had come to the end of its session, so he assumed that the Foxes and their opponents had completed their warm-ups. The Foxes weren’t home for this game, so the opposing team was called out first. If Nathaniel was being honest, he didn’t care for that team. He was more concerned with the Foxes’ subs walking to the bench: Aaron Minyard and Janie Smalls.

“So it’s a striker,” Riko said, stating what was on everyone else’s mind. “Smalls was useless on that team anyway, and _ that’s  _ saying something.”

Since Riko wouldn’t see him, Nathaniel rolled his eyes. 

Danielle Wilds was called out first for the Foxes, followed by Boyd, Reynolds, Walker, Gordon, and then Hemmick. All that was left was the new recruit.

Then, it was like all air was sucked out of the Ravens’ lounge. Riko’s quips stopped and the soft chatter died down so fast that the silence of the team became deafening. Out of the corners of his eyes, Nathaniel first saw Jean go still, and then saw Andrew’s hand tighten on the arm of the couch.

For the Foxes’ newest member was not just any athlete.

Nathaniel didn’t hear the name announced, but he didn’t need it to be. Anyone would recognize Kevin Day walking across the court. Except this time he was not in a black and red jersey with his racket catered to his left hand, but a white an orange one with a racket in his right. Even through the television, the screams from the crowd were overwhelming.

_ Well, _ Nathaniel thought.  _ The rumor was right about them being a former Raven. _

Once Kevin arrived at his spot on the Foxes’ side of the court, Nathaniel tore his eyes away from the TV to get a look at his fellow Ravens. Most wore the same expression he did: a jaw dropped so low that it could have been unhinged, eyes that saw nothing except for a number two jersey with  _ DAY _ written across it. Riko Moriyama, however, did not look like that.

Nathaniel had seen Riko look ready to murder someone, the deepest parts of hell locked in his eyes. He had seen his face cracked open in a smile that the Devil could wear. He had even seen Riko at a low point that most of them had once been at, beaten, bloody, bruised, and wondering what put them there at that exact moment. Nathaniel had seen the shock on Riko’s face when he realized that Tetsuji had kept from him his knowledge of Kevin transferring to the Foxes.

But the shock on Riko’s face now surpassed that by miles. That was a Riko sitting with his mouth pressed into a thin line. His left hand was tightened on the arm of the chair while hit right was clenched around his knee. The one tattooed on his face looked suddenly very stark against his complexion, but Nathaniel thought that Riko had actually went pale at seeing his former left-hand man making an appearance for a different team. His dark eyes stared up at the TV, flickering back and forth as if what he was seeing had to be some type of mistake.

Nathaniel knew that Riko’s shock would soon turn to anger, he expected it at this point, but for now Riko was resigned to staring dumbstruck at the TV. Nathaniel wondered if Riko was shocked because it was Kevin Day, the man he destroyed, returning to the court, or if it was because he saw the threat Kevin was posing onto him; Kevin returned, and could therefore still surpass Riko.

After all the times Nathaniel had spoken to Kevin on the phone, or talked with Andrew about their next step, Nathaniel had never considered Kevin being his own recruit. Seeing what Riko had done to him back in April, he had assumed that Kevin was done for. He thought that no athlete, no matter how strong, could come back after having his left, and dominant, hand shattered by the man he was supposed to succeed with. But Kevin Day, a man more stubborn and determined than anyone else Nathaniel knew, would be the one to make a comeback to Exy right-handed.

As the clock began its countdown to the start of the game, Nathaniel suddenly grasped what this could do for the Palmetto State Foxes, and what this could do for the rest of what he, Kevin, and Andrew had planned. Having Kevin back in the game changed everything. The game was only seconds away from starting, but Nathaniel knew now that there were no if’s, and’s, or but’s; the Foxes were going to be getting to Spring Championships. Kevin Day had to switch hands, and maybe that set him back a few paces from where he left off, but he was still miles ahead of most Exy players, considering that most Exy players weren’t coming off of the brutal yet productive training for the Edgar Allan Ravens.

The clock rang for the start of the game. Within the first two minutes, the Foxes had their first goal.

Nathaniel could never forget what it was like to play with Kevin on his line. Together, the Top Five made the Perfect Court, and they were a force to be reckoned with. To play together, and to play with Kevin, meant getting somewhere in life. But playing with Kevin and watching Kevin play from the sidelines were two different things entirely. To play with Kevin meant already knowing what he was going to do. Nathaniel knew every play and step they had planned out, because he was included in it all. To watch Kevin meant hoping that he had everything under control, and that his new team would cooperate.

And, if Nathaniel was seeing things right, the Foxes were cooperating. Perhaps it was the new addition to their line, or maybe it was the crowd’s energy, but the Foxes were working better together than Nathaniel had seen or expected. Kevin had described them as a team of infighting; a group of people who couldn’t work together long enough to have a decent game. But the team that was playing right now looked like a true NCAA Exy team.

Seth Gordon scored. Two to zero, Foxes.

Watching Kevin play, Nathaniel realized that this wasn’t a man suddenly just walking back into the game after taking seven months off. Kevin was playing right handed, and he was playing well right handed.  _ Very  _ well, actually. In fact, Nathaniel assumed that Kevin had been training for quite some time now. Kevin was told he needed six months to regain full movement of his left hand, and Nathaniel had a feeling he used October to his full advantage in gaining ability in his right.

Of course Kevin Day, ever the stubborn yet determined man Nathaniel knew him to be, would work his ass off to get himself a fraction closer to where he used to be, except this time playing a different hand.

The Foxes finished the first half leading with five to four. No Raven had yet to speak.

The second half was usually the time when tensions were at their highest. It was the point at which the athletes’ stamina would begin to break, and people would see who would dominate and who would be dominated. The Foxes, once again surprising everyone, came back and dominated the second half. Renee Walker would be going into her next half as goalkeeper with no switch outs, but Nathaniel had a feeling Coach Wymack prepared for this by sitting Aaron Minyard out the first half and sending in Nicky Hemmick, despite Minyard being the stronger backliner, and then sending Minyard out second half with Boyd. Walker would be defended by the two strongest backliners on the team, while the two strongest strikers continued to destroy the opponent’s goal.

Kevin was the one to make the final goal, finishing the game with a score of seven to five, Palmetto State Foxes.

It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

Nathaniel would have smiled if he wasn’t surrounded by angry and appalled teammates. Instead, he first chose to direct his attention to Jean next to him, sitting with a slack jaw and wide eyes. Then Andrew, who would have looked completely apathetic if it wasn’t for his pointer finger tapping an erratic beat on the arm of the couch. And finally, his eyes swept over to Riko, who was staring up at the TV with his jaw clenched. He held the remote in his hand, his finger hovering over the power button; he pressed it when the camera panned to a close-up of Kevin.

And then, the room was silent. Riko put the remote on the side table, and Nathaniel could see him trying to keep his cool, keyword being “trying”. His opposite hand was trembling. Riko wasn’t attempting to be calm because he didn’t want his anger getting to him; he was doing it because he had a reputation to upkeep. When Kevin was out of Exy, he was supposed to surpass him. With Kevin back in it, Riko was supposed to act like it hadn’t gotten under his skin and boiled his blood, because then it showed Kevin had won.

In Nathaniel’s opinion, Kevin already had won. Riko was livid from the moment he stepped on the court; he just hadn’t flipped any tables yet because he liked to believe that he was the bigger, better person. Also, if he had, Tetsuji would have beat him for causing harm to anyone that wasn’t his property.

Nathaniel thought it would be a good idea to start mentally preparing himself to be beat later. Riko wouldn’t let this go until he took everything out on someone he was allowed to. Ravens were already starting to disperse from the room, sensing the ever growing tension from their captain, and Nathaniel was ready to sneak out, too, when a voice finally spoke up.

“So Kevin’s doing well,” Andrew said from next to him, expressionless as always, with his eyes looking straight ahead. Everyone could feel the pressure in the room double; Andrew’s words were not just said to disappear into the air, or to break silence. They were an unwanted gift to Riko. “Seems like he’s really flourishing outside of here.”

If looks could kill, Nathaniel thought Riko would have murdered Andrew a long time ago. Riko’s shoulders were tensed, and his fists clenched on his thighs. The Ravens who were not in Riko’s circle all scurried out, and if Riko noticed he made no sign of it. He just had his eyes on Andrew, and Andrew had his eyes on the wall. Nathaniel and Jean shared a look, both debating whether or not they should try to leave, too. Things were about to get explosive, and Nathaniel didn’t want to be involved, but he couldn’t leave Andrew alone, he wouldn’t.

However, he didn’t have to worry about leaving Andrew behind to escape Riko, because Riko came to him. Because _ of course _ Riko would come to him.

Nathaniel was too focused on Andrew to initially notice what was about to happen. First his mind was on Andrew, and then the table separating Riko from the three of them was knocked over. Nathaniel had a fist pulling him up by his collar and he was brought face-to-face with Riko, who had pulled his other fist back in preparation to beat the shit out of Nathaniel.

Nathaniel braced himself for the hit that never came, due to the fact that another fist, one that was not Nathaniel’s, connected with Riko’s jaw. As a reflex Riko released Nathaniel and turned to face Andrew. Andrew shoved Nathaniel back onto the couch with Jean, who was extremely shocked, to say the least.

Before Riko could ever begin to retaliate, Andrew decked him again, this time hard enough to send him sprawling.

Nathaniel should have been horrified that this was happening, but he couldn’t help but be amazed by the force that was Andrew Minyard. Andrew had jumped to his defense before Riko could even do anything to him, and now he was willing to fight Riko so that he couldn’t get to Nathaniel.

“Get out of here,” Nathaniel said to Jean as Riko readied to push himself back up. Jean gave him a look of disapproval and Nathaniel shook his head. “Jean, I’m serious, get the fuck out of here.” After only a moment of hesitation, Jean went over the back of the couch and got himself out of the lounge.

Nathaniel then stood as Riko bounded over to Andrew, and was about to assist in beating the shit out of him, when Andrew pushed him back. “Don’t,” Andrew said in a voice that Nathaniel thought was too calm for this moment. However, when Riko stopped in front of Andrew and, instead of hitting him, clenched the collar of his shirt in his fists, Nathaniel wondered who that  _ Don’t _ was really meant for.

Riko had blood trickling out of the corner of his mouth, and his jaw was already red and inflamed from the punches. Despite Nathaniel being just behind Andrew, Riko ignored him to bring Andrew close.

“You’re going to fucking regret ever stepping foot in here,” Riko growled. “I told you to know who you belong to here and to watch your fucking attitude.”

“If I’m correct, I’m your coach’s athlete,” Andrew cocked his head to the side. “Not yours.”

Riko’s jaw tightened. Nathaniel was ready for him to take a swing at Andrew, but instead he just shoved him back. Andrew slammed into Nathaniel as Riko stormed out. Andrew turned to face Nathaniel, his eyes scanning his face. “Did he do anything to you?”

Nathaniel shook his head. “No, you stepped in.”

“If he does anything to you, I’ll kill him myself,” Andrew said, his voice low. Nathaniel sucked in a breath. It was the closest thing Andrew could say to admitting that not only would he fight with Nathaniel, but fight  _ for  _ him. He could feel his pulse racing under his skin at the thought of having Andrew at his side. He was close enough to kiss him, but he knew he couldn’t risk it there.

“Thank you,” Nathaniel whispered, unable to make his voice anything more than quiet. Whether Nathaniel was thanking him for the protection or for being at his side, he didn’t even know. Both, perhaps.

“Ninety-four percent,” Andrew said, his voice the same volume as Nathaniel’s. “Get out of my sight.”

Nathaniel didn’t believe the cruelty laced in Andrew’s words, but he found himself listening anyway. Every door in the hall was closed, and Nathaniel assumed that some were probably locked. In their room, Jean was sitting on his own bed and stared wide-eyed at Nathaniel when he walked in.

“Holy shit,” Jean said once Nathaniel closed the door behind him.

Nathaniel thought about Kevin walking onto the court as a Fox, about the Foxes dominating the court, about Riko’s shock and anger, about Andrew jumping to protect him, and about Andrew Minyard. Nathaniel nodded. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Holy shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!! hoped you enjoyed the chapter, as always, kudos and feedback are appreciated :) and, if you guys don't mind, it would mean the world to me if you reblogged this fic on tumblr or perhaps shared it with your friends :)
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	16. chapter fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please see end notes as they hold important information

When Nathaniel received a call from Kevin the next evening, he was already expecting it. It was one of the rare evenings when the Ravens did not have practice; people were constantly coming in and out of Evermore to carry out official Moriyama business, and those usually required their coach to be present. Which meant that, after the previous night’s events, after their morning practice, every Raven retreated to their respective dorms, only venturing out for necessities. Andrew Minyard was an exception to this, as he usually was, and ended up spending the majority of the day in Nathaniel and Jean’s dorm.

However, Nathaniel didn’t think that Riko had left his room at all. Last night he was ready to kill Nathaniel over Kevin’s comeback; today he mourned the loss of his fifteen minutes of fame as the only true son of Exy. Or perhaps he didn’t want anyone to have to see how he lost to Andrew yesterday; Riko could be as prideful as he was violent.

When the call came through to Nathaniel’s phone, he was situated on his bed, Jean on his, and Andrew found a place in Nathaniel’s desk chair. All three had been peacefully ignoring each other. At one point, Jean had tried to talk with Andrew about what he and Nathaniel were doing, but after Andrew stared at him with no reply, Jean understood that he wasn’t going to be getting an answer.

“Finally,” Nathaniel said when he brought his phone to his ear, his voice now naturally lowered when speaking with Kevin. Jean and Andrew’s eyes were on him. “I was wondering when you were finally going to call.”

“Why didn’t you call?” Kevin’s reply was in French. Nathaniel assumed someone was close by.

Nathaniel switched languages as well for the secrecy and since it wouldn’t hinder the other two’s understanding; Jean had taught Kevin and Nathaniel French a while back, and Andrew had a knack for picking up easily. “We aren’t the ones that have explaining to do.” At that, Jean moved to sit with Nathaniel. Even though he wasn’t directly involved, curiosity still got the best of him when concerning what was going on with their ex-striker. Andrew, who took the more subtle route, gradually shifted his chair closer.

Kevin sighed on the other line. “Where do you want me to start?”

“Where are you?” Nathaniel asked. He thought he heard voices in the back that he knew were not David Wymack’s.

“The dormitories for the athletes,” Kevin said. “I’ve moved into them. I’m rooming with Matt and Seth.” Nathaniel held back a laugh at that. He knew that Kevin didn’t get along with either of them. “They know,  but I’m still not going to talk so freely about it.”

“They know?” Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrow. “Kevin, what do they know?”

“Enough.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes. “That’s not an answer, Kevin.”

Kevin hesitated before responding. “About the Moriyamas, that I am speaking with you and Andrew, and how I broke my hand.” Another pause. “They want to take down Riko as much as we do.”

Nathaniel’s mind blanked. He could understand the Foxes knowing how Kevin really broke his hand, or even that he was still in contact with two of the Ravens. But the thought of them knowing everything that the Moriyamas made him feel sick to his stomach. The Moriyamas were a merciless business based in murder; they weren’t something that could be so freely spoken about. “You  _ told _ them about-”

It seemed like Kevin knew what Nathaniel was going to say, because he cut him off with, “How could I not have? With what we are trying to do -which, no, they don’t know that we’re actually planning the demise of Riko- they were bound to find out anyway. I would rather they find out from me than seeing it for themselves.”

Nathaniel sighed and nodded. “Alright just… are they okay knowing?”

“Yes, they are,” Kevin assured. “They’re not going around telling every person they know that the Moriyamas deal in murder and that I’m connected to them.”

“Okay,” Nathaniel said. “That’s… okay.”

“It’s safe with them, Nathaniel,” Kevin said. “There’s more security on campus anyway. Nothing, or nobody, is going to be getting to us.”

Nathaniel nodded. “So, you’re a Fox now?” he said, changing the subject.

“I told you that you didn’t need to worry about the state of their new recruit,” Kevin said. Nathaniel could hear the cockiness in his voice. He rolled his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Nathaniel asked. “At the end of the day we trusted your recruit, which we now know was you, but wouldn’t it just have been easier to tell us?”

“What? I can’t have my own surprises?”

“Andrew hates surprises,” Nathaniel flicked his eyes to Andrew. “And I hate your surprises. But I feel like that’s not the real reason.”

Kevin then huffed out a breath. “If I told you, what if something went wrong? What if I told you guys back in what, July, August? That I would be the ninth player, and then something happened? I was training all through October to gain control of my right hand, but what if I aggravated my left in the process?” He sighed. “I don’t think I would have been able to face you all if I told you that I would be playing for the Foxes and ended up benched on another injury.”

Nathaniel hadn’t expected the sincerity in Kevin’s voice. He initially thought Kevin was keeping it hidden for the shock factor, or perhaps because he just couldn’t tell anyone. He hadn’t considered the thought that Kevin didn’t want to set them up for disappointment or failure. “Well,” Nathaniel said. “I’m glad to see you back on the court. You did really well.”

“Thanks,” Kevin said, and Nathaniel thought he could hear a smile behind it.

“How  _ is _ working with the Foxes?” Nathaniel asked.

“They’re all still a pain in the ass to work with,” Kevin said. “They were ready to fight me every step of the way as an assistant coach, but now they’re  _ actually  _ fighting me every step of the way as a fellow athlete. Especially Seth. I thought he would at least be somewhat grateful since I’m a starting striker with him now instead of Janie but _ no _ , I’m an asshole and he makes a point of telling me that. Constantly.”

Nathaniel thought he heard someone say in the background, _ “Stop fucking talking about me.” _ His thought was confirmed when Kevin said, “Can’t you see I’m on the fucking phone?”

“Unbearable,” Kevin said.

“You have to at least work with them,” Nathaniel said. “I get it, they’re resistant. I feel like that’s not a surprise to either of us. But with you on their line, the chance of them getting past the death matches increases tenfold. If the Foxes get to Championships and win, we can make it out of this, we can finally make something of ourselves outside of here. We’re handling Riko here. We’re doing our part. You have to do yours. Back here, we have your back, and you have to have ours, too. We all saw the game last night. Riko blew a fuse because you all already are starting to look more put together. When we get to Championships, we can meet in the middle. But first, we have to work to get all of us there.”

Kevin was silent for a moment. “I didn’t know you were one for inspirational speeches.” 

“It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. Appreciate it, remember it, get it tattooed. But you know what you have to do, right?”

“I do,” Kevin said. “How is it over there?”

“Andrew punched Riko in the face twice and Riko hasn’t left his room since this morning.”

Kevin sighed and Nathaniel could just see him dragging his hand along his face. “At least try to stay alive.”

“We’re doing our best,” Nathaniel said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!! this is a semi-important A/N so!! first off, sorry my chapters on mondays are always posted so late, i get out of school at 6pm and usually don't finish my hw until like 8:30 :/ however, on mondays, i don't leave for school utnil like 1pm, so would you guys be cool with me posting the chapter closer around 11am est on mondays?
> 
> also, here's the next, more weight-y thing. if you divert your attention to the warnings placed in the tag-things for this fic, you will see that one of them is "sexual assault". this is obviously a very serious topic and something that i do not want to trigger people with, though it is in the story. chapters 16-20 will be dealing with this topic (along w/ murder/character death). i know that these would technically be considered "spoilers" but, honestly, i would rather you guys know what is coming up for the next four chapters than blindside people and potentially cause harm to people. if you know that these two topics (extreme sexual assault and murder) are triggering to you but you would like to still know what happens, feel free to message me on my tumblr @actuallygansey or on here (tho tumblr has the better chance of me seeing it, i will check here) and i can give you the rundown of what happens. of course it is your judgement call as to whether or not you want to read those chapters, or even know what happens in them, and i am not going to think any differently of my readers who do and who don't. please, i would rather people be safe while reading this fic. i wrote this fic bc i wanted to and i love aftg and i want people to just have fun reading this and not be harmed while reading it.
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	17. chapter sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> major tw: chapters 16-20 deal with sexual assault/rape

On the day of Thanksgiving, Andrew received a call from Kevin. It was after their morning practice, almost twelve o’clock, and one of those times where Nathaniel found himself in Andrew’s room.

“What is it?” Andrew said when he brought the phone to his ear. He wore his normal bored expression. Nathaniel watched from sitting on Andrew’s bed. “And?” Whatever Kevin said next, however, caused Andrew’s jaw to tighten. “Why is _ she  _ going to be there?” Andrew waited ten more seconds before hanging up.  Wordlessly, he yanked open his bedside draw and pulled out what looked like a small pick and a key ring. Shoving them in his pocket, he then walked past Nathaniel and swung open his door. Nathaniel, with furrowed eyebrows, stood and followed Andrew out.

“Where are you going?” he whispered as he followed Andrew down the hall.

“Stop talking.”

Nathaniel was about to object and demand an explanation when they came to the lounge. For once, the lounge of the black section of the Nest was vacant, meaning that most Ravens were congregated in the red lounge. At this time, Riko was at one of his classes with Jean; it was one of the few times that the Perfect Court did not have classes together. Even with Nathaniel and Andrew still around, most people only went to the “more superior” lounge if Riko was there.

Andrew walked to the stairs that led to the locker room, positioned in between the two dormitories, and Nathaniel followed. “Andrew-”

“Shut up.”

Nathaniel clamped his mouth shut and went with Andrew up the stairs. Andrew slammed the door to the locker room open and Nathaniel winced when it smacked against the wall. Nathaniel then expected Andrew to head to his locker. Whenever Andrew and Nathaniel decided to go up to the locker room, they went under the guise that they were going to do a one-on-one practice. However, Nathaniel found himself surprised that Andrew actually had the intention of practicing. He was more surprised when Andrew continued out of the locker room and to the court. He stayed silent as he followed, and realized when they were halfway across the court that Andrew planned on going to Tetsuji’s office.

The way that the Nest-locker room-coach’s office worked was that there was only one door that would let someone outside at all times. In the Nest itself, there were emergency exits that led to stairwells that only unlocked when alarms were triggered. The same setup was in the locker room. The only door that led to the parking lot outside was in Tetsuji’s office. For the most part, that door was off-limits considering Ravens were not allowed in Tetsuji’s office unless summoned, and Tetsuji had the tendency to almost always be in his office.

Fortunately for Nathaniel and Andrew, Tetsuji was not going to be in his office that morning. Castle Evermore was not just home to the Ravens, but was also a common meeting place for people affiliated with the Moriyamas. Rumor had it that Lord Kengo Moriyama’s health was declining, and therefore, after their morning practice, Tetsuji was beckoned to one of the upper floors of Castle Evermore.

Andrew pushed open the door leading to the hall where Tetsuji’s office was. Andrew tried the office door’s knob once, found that it was locked, and slipped the pick out of his pocket. It then dawned on Nathaniel that it was a lock pick. A thousand questions ran through his mind as Andrew picked the lock, but he had the feeling Andrew wasn’t in the mood to answer any questions.

When the door swung open, Nathaniel followed Andrew inside. Tetsuji’s office walls were bare besides schedules and lineups pinned to a bulletin board above the computer. The desk only had pens scattered about, a computer, and a printer. Locked file cabinets lined the walls, and Nathaniel assumed that the drawers in the desk were locked, too. With how Tetsuji ran his team, and who he was affiliated with, Nathaniel wasn’t surprised that he kept everything locked away. The thing that did catch Nathaniel’s eye, however, was the faint outline of a trap door on the floor. It was in the middle of the room, most likely unasked about because one had to know it was there to really be noticed.

Nathaniel had learned a long time ago from Riko and Kevin that Castle Evermore had a passageway running under the Court. That was not necessarily strange; many courts had underground hallways leading to locker rooms and rooms for away teams to sleep. The strange thing about this passageway was that it only led from the Nest, specifically a door in Riko and Kevin’s room, to Tetsuji’s office. The door in Riko and Kevin’s room was always locked, though he knew both Riko and Kevin had a key, and he had a feeling Tetsuji did too. 

Nathaniel didn’t know the original intent of the passageway. He was only a child when he learned of it, and the only memory he had of it was Riko, Kevin, and himself racing up and down it, but that was a time before power and violence had come to destroy them. He first wondered if Andrew went through the court instead of there because he didn’t know the passageway existed. Nathaniel knew that he didn’t tell Andrew it was there. His next thought was that that passageway had to be the one Kevin took when he left Castle Evermore. He wondered if Kevin took the time to try to look through the file cabinets to find anything more from his mother besides a note stating who his father was, or if he just walked out the door to the parking lot and never looked back.

Andrew pushed the door to the outside open, and Nathaniel followed. The parking lot was bright in the morning light, except, with Andrew’s intensity, the morning did not seem as joyous. The late November air was chilly, and Nathaniel wished he had more than sweatpants and a t-shirt. Andrew, who had a similar outfit plus his black armbands, did not seem phased as he walked to the parking lot.

For a reason that even Nathaniel did not know or understand, Ravens were allowed to have cars. There were a good amount, all black and dispersed throughout the middle rows. Kevin’s was still parked next to Riko’s, so Kevin had to have taken a cab when he left. Nathaniel didn’t have a car. He had a license, which he thought was useless, since it would go to waste sitting in his wallet as he spent his days and nights in Castle Evermore. Some cars were parked along the curb, and as they passed Nathaniel checked to see if anyone was sitting in them, watching. Luckily, they were the only two in the parking lot, and no one could see them. There weren’t even windows facing the parking lot. Nathaniel wondered if that was just poor design choices, or if no one thought about people escaping.

“My old foster mother is making a visit to Nicky’s parents house for Thanksgiving to see Nicky and Aaron,” Andrew said, finally breaking the silence between them. “Kevin overheard them mentioning it.”

“Oh.” Nathaniel didn’t know much about the life Andrew had before the Ravens. He remembered a vague mention of Andrew going through multiple foster homes, and he knew that at one point Andrew stopped living in foster homes and lived with his cousin, Nicky Hemmick, and twin brother, Aaron Minyard. But after that, he came up blank. “It’s… nice that they’re close?” He didn’t know what else he could say.

“They’re not. She never met them. I’m seeing what she wants.”

Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows. “Didn’t you say your cousin was from Columbia? In South Carolina?”

“Yes.” 

“And that’s where you’re going?”

“Don’t ask a question you already know the answer to.” Two spaces down from Kevin’, Andrew stopped at the driver’s side of a black car. Nathaniel didn’t know names, but he knew an expensive car when he saw one, and Andrew’s was definitely expensive. He grew curious at the money Andrew had to have to be able to afford it.

Nathaniel made a decision and went to the passenger side. Andrew raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re coming?”

“I followed you out here, didn’t I?” Nathaniel replied, and then pulled on the handle, impatient for Andrew to open the car.

Andrew only stared at him for a moment longer before unlocking the car and getting in. “One-hundred percent, Nathaniel,” Andrew said as he started the car.

“Do I get a prize for reaching one-hundred?” Nathaniel asked.

“I will push you out of this car and run you over.” Andrew tore out of the parking lot, and that was when Nathaniel decided to put on his seatbelt. He watched Castle Evermore get smaller and smaller behind them in Andrew’s side mirror.

Nathaniel didn’t think leaving would be this simple. All Tetsuji had to be was gone, and any of them could have walked out. He wondered why no one had ever done this before, and then realized it was probably because none of them considered a life where they were not in the Nest.

“You plan to make this drive in a day?” Nathaniel asked as Andrew pulled onto the main highway.

“Five and a half hours without traffic,” Andrew corrected.

Nathaniel raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have a GPS set up.”

“Excellent observation skills, Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel sighed and rolled his eyes. “Do you know how to get there?”

“Yes,” Andrew said. “I remember the directions.”

“Remember? Have you looked this up before?”

“When I first got here,” Andrew said. “Have to know all escape routes from a shit show like this.”

Nathaniel initially wanted to question Andrew’s memory and as to how he can remember directions to a different state so confidently, but he didn’t even know how to approach it. Instead, he shook off that topic and jumped to another. “So your foster mother will be at your cousin’s house? You said they never met?”

“She, Cass Spear, will be there. Kevin overheard Nicky and Aaron talking about how she wanted to see how I was doing, couldn’t find me, and went through them. I don’t know how much of that I believe, so I’m seeing what she wants myself,” Andrew said. He didn’t call Nathaniel out on forcing him to repeat himself. “And they never met because I didn’t go to the Hemmicks after I was with her. I went to Juvie, and then I went to live with Aaron and his mother.”

If Nathaniel was being honest, he didn’t expect so much information from Andrew without further prompting. But one thing he said caught his attention more than the rest. “Wait, you’re saying that Aaron wasn’t also in the foster system?”

“Aaron’s mother kept him and gave me up.” For such a fucked thing to do to twins, Andrew didn’t even sound spiteful for being the twin given away. He didn’t sound anything. “The only thing she was good for was her life insurance. It bought this car.”

“So she’s dead.” Nathaniel rested his head on the window, watching stores and cars fly by. “How’d she die?”

“Crashed her car. I lived, she didn’t,” Andrew said it so casually that it sent a small chill down Nathaniel’s spine. In the midst of working together, Nathaniel could forget Andrew’s bluntness and apathy. “But I think it’s time that I asked a question.” Andrew’s fingers were tapping erratically on the steering wheel. Nathaniel had seen Andrew do that enough to wonder if it was a nervous tick, but he didn’t think that should be sometime he asked about.

“What do you want to know?” Nathaniel asked. He felt no reluctance at allowing Andrew to ask him things. He found himself enjoying speaking with Andrew and whatever question game they had.

“Where’s your father? Your mother’s also dead, but he’s still somewhere working for the Moriyamas,” Andrew said, looking at Nathaniel out of the corner of his eye.

“He’s wherever Lord Kengo needs him to be,” Nathaniel answered, his eyes on Andrew. “His main residence is Baltimore, however. It’s where we all lived before I had to come here.”

“Do you see him?”

“If I ever see him, it probably means I’m about to be killed,” Nathaniel said, probably as casually as Andrew talking about his mother’s death. “The only reason he didn’t kill me when I was a kid was because I was good enough at Exy to pass Tetsuji’s test.”

“Such an Exy junkie.”

Nathaniel couldn’t help but smile at that. Despite the mocking intent the words were meant to have, Nathaniel couldn’t hear it.

As they approached the red light, Andrew looked at him. His eyes flickered down to his mouth and, just for a moment, his fingers stopped their drumming on the steering wheel. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said, turning back to the road.

Nathaniel did not wipe the smile off his face as he turned back to the window. “I’m not.”

“One-hundred-and-one percent.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes but kept the smile on his face.

However, whatever calm atmosphere they had established was soon washed away by the tension Nathaniel could feel radiating off of Andrew. If it wasn’t for Andrew’s tapping fingers, he would have looked perfectly tranquil. But Nathaniel couldn’t keep his eyes off Andrew’s hands. His fingers tapped on the steering wheel constantly, only stopping to tighten around it when they were stuck in traffic. The car had fallen silent, and even if Nathaniel wanted to say something, he couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say. With Andrew, if he asked the right question, he could get the answer that he was looking for. But with this tension from Andrew, this thing that almost looked like nerves, he had a feeling that no question he could ask would be the right one. Or even if he did ask the right question, it didn’t seem like Andrew would give him an answer.

Andrew said the ride would take five and a half hours without traffic. By the time they arrived to Columbia, and having only made one stop, however, they had already been in Andrew’s car for six hours and fifteen minutes. Nathaniel was surprised that Andrew hadn’t snapped the steering wheel yet, or at least permanently dented it. 

Andrew hadn’t said anything for the majority of the ride. Besides their first conversation, him telling Nathaniel to be quick at the one stop they made, and the occasional huff of a breath at a stop light that was taking too long, he was silent. When they turned onto a sidestreet in Columbia, he didn’t have to say anything, the sharp intake of breath was enough of an indication that Andrew saw their destination.

Andrew pulled the car in front of a house that looked like the ones Nathaniel had seen on TV. It was picture perfect. A white porch led to the house, two rocking chairs and a swing decorating it. Plants hung from the rafters of the porch, and a garden that was obviously well tended to sat in front of the porch. There were no chips in the paint of the house, and the colors were well coordinated. Nathaniel could see a candle lit in the front facing windows of the house. The lights that were on in the house gave it a warm and welcoming ambience.

From the way Andrew carried himself to the front door, Nathaniel got the feeling that the people who inhabited the house weren’t nearly as welcoming. When they got to the front door, Andrew tried the knob, found it was unlocked, and pushed the door open. Nathaniel was instantly met with the smell of cooking and candles.

There was no sound of chatter, but apparently Nathaniel and Andrew were not the only ones in the house. Once the front door closed, there was a pause before a confused voice from the kitchen said, “Hello?” It only took a moment then for Nicky Hemmick to appear in the doorway of the kitchen. He had an empty container in his hands that he fumbled with and almost dropped when he saw who the two uninvited guests were. “ _ Andrew? _ What- what are you doing here?” His eyes flickered between his cousin and Nathaniel.

Nathaniel thought he heard another door opening from somewhere in the back of the house. Andrew either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Where is she?”

“Where is-” Nicky faltered, furrowing his eyebrows. “Where is who? My- my mother?”

“You know who I’m-”

Andrew was cut off by a man’s voice. “Nicholas, who’s at the door?” Both Nicky and Andrew grew tenser than they already were at the man’s voice. A man that Nathaniel assumed to be Nicky’s father came behind Nicky. Andrew’s eyes hardened at seeing the man; if looks could kill, this man would have been dead where he stood.

The man looked just as displeased to see Andrew. “What do you want here?”

“Why is my foster mother here?” Andrew said. His voice was cold and laced with hatred. Nathaniel wondered what had happened between Andrew and his uncle. 

“Your who?” Nicky’s father asked. While Nicky looked confused and then over his shoulder at his father, his father looked more agitated than anything. A bad feeling had settled in Nathaniel’s gut.

“Cass Spear,” Andrew said through clenched teeth. “Why. Is. She. Here.”

“She’s not the one who’s here.” At the initial hearing of Mr. Hemmick’s words, a spike of relief went through Nathaniel. He was ready to turn to Andrew and talk about the misunderstanding, how no one was here and Andrew and Nathaniel could return to Evermore before the day was over. And then Nathaniel went over Mr. Hemmick’s words again.

_ She’s not the one who’s here. _

_ The one. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please message me on (preferably) tumblr or here if you have any issues with the upcoming chapters. i am not here to force anyone to read anything that could potentially trigger them or put them into an unsafe state of mind.
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	18. chapter seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> major TWs for rape and graphic depiction of murder
> 
> chapters 16-20 deal with sexual assault/rape and murder

Nathaniel blinked at Andrew, and Andrew stared at Mr. Hemmick, and Nathaniel was positive that Andrew went a shade paler. The feeling in Nathaniel’s gut grew worse. “Now, if you’re here to ruin what has been a pleasant dinner, I will not allow-”

“Where is Aaron?” Andrew’s words to Nicky were so quiet, and yet the weight of them filled the room. Nathaniel believed that whoever was here in place of Andrew’s foster mother was the worst case scenario option. Nicky fumbled over his words, craning his neck to see into the room or hallway next to the kitchen, and Andrew said again, “Nicky, where the fuck is Aaron?”

“Upstairs,” Nicky said and Andrew bolted up the stairs. Nathaniel stayed back just long enough to see Nicky look around the corner, as if he was looking for someone who was supposed to be downstairs, and then went after Andrew.

“If you break anything I’m calling the police!” Mr. Hemmick shouted up after them.

“Who did you let come over?” Nathaniel heard Nicky ask, and a chill went down his spine.

On the second floor of the Hemmick’s house, Andrew slammed open the closest door on the left and looked inside before continuing to rush down the hall. Nathaniel’s mind was racing as he trailed behind Andrew and stuck his head into the room he left, trying to piece together who Andrew suspected was here, and what they had to do with Aaron Minyard. The other two doors Andrew tried were left open and empty, leaving the final door at the end of the hall.

They found it locked.

Nathaniel was ready for Andrew to pick it, but when Andrew reeled back and kicked the door in, he realized Andrew didn’t want to waste that time. The first thing he heard was a man’s voice shouting, Nathaniel thought he heard a demand for who was coming in, but he couldn’t hear as his mind took a short moment to process what he was seeing.

A man had Aaron Minyard pinned underneath him, one hand clenching his wrists together on the headboard of the bed. Aaron tugged at his wrists but the hand holding them did not redact its hold. Aaron’s shirt was still on but pants were pushed down to his knees and the man’s other hand was below his shirt. The man had his own pants unfastened and pushed low enough to make things easier for him. Aaron squirmed underneath the man to no avail due to the man keeping Aaron’s legs underneath him. Aaron’s lips were swollen and his face beat red with tear streaks. A cut ran from his temple to the middle of his cheek. The man shouted again, it had only been a second from when they entered the room, but Nathaniel couldn’t hear a word; he could only hear the pained gasp that left Aaron.

The man got up when he saw Andrew. He had a wicked grin on his face that made Nathaniel want to vomit. Maybe five seconds had passed but, to Nathaniel, everything felt slowed down. He didn’t know whether to fight with Andrew or tend to his brother. Andrew made that decision for him when he pushed Nathaniel back and stepped forward.

Andrew reeled his fist back as the man said, “My biggest fanta-”

The man never completed his sentence and Andrew never got his punch in, for the metal base of a lamp came cracking down on the back of the man’s skull. Blood splattered from his head. Again. The man came crashing down and Nathaniel could see the back of his head bashed in. Nathaniel’s stomach lurched at hearing the crunch and seeing the blood splatter and he pressed his hand to his mouth in hopes to hold off being sick.

Aaron Minyard let the lamp fall from his hands and then collapsed to his knees next to the corpse. The lamp shade must have popped off whenever Aaron had reached for it because it laid discarded away from him. Aaron’s clothes were not put back together, and one hand weakly reached for the blanket from the bed, failing, as the other pressed to his mouth. His skin was white as a sheet and his entire body was trembling. Gasps, sobs, gags, or all three were coming from him. Footsteps pounding up the stairs could be heard. Nathaniel took another step forward, wanting to do something, anything, to help, but Andrew pushed him back once again before rushing to his brother. Nathaniel watched as Andrew pushed the corpse away, anywhere but near his brother. He heard a gasp and an  _ “Oh my God” _ from the doorway and knew Nicky Hemmick had arrived at the scene. He didn’t have time to look over at him, Nicky had already run off. He was going to call the police, or an ambulance, hopefully both, and maybe he would ask his father his role in this.

Nathaniel watched as Andrew pulled over a wastebasket from the side of the bed just in time for Aaron to retch into it. His body shook and it sounded as if his esophagus was being ripped out in the midst of the vomiting and the coughs and the sobs. Andrew grabbed the blanket from the bed, draping it over Aaron in an attempt to get him as covered as possible.

It took Nathaniel a moment to register that Andrew was speaking. “-not going to fucking touch you again. He’s dead. He’s not here to hurt you anymore.”

“Andrew,” Aaron managed out, barely. “He said- he-”

Aaron was cut off by another pained gasp from the doorway, and Nathaniel turned his head to see Mr. Hemmick standing there. A woman with a hand to her mouth shadowed behind him. Nicky forced his way through, and Andrew let him near himself and Aaron. As Nicky crouched on the other side of Aaron, Andrew finally turned his attention away from his brother and to Mr. Hemmick.

“Do you fucking believe me now, Luther?” Andrew’s words were soaked in poison and malice. “Or is this just another misunderstanding? You said I was too chemically unbalanced to understand, that Drake was just showing brotherly affection, is Aaron also too chemically unbalanced, too?” They weren’t really questions. They were damnations. Nathaniel felt sick at the realization that this had happened to Andrew, that this Drake -Andrew’s foster brother- had done this to Andrew, too, and when Andrew told Luther Hemmick, he was dismissed. Andrew had said that hope would only lead to disappointment; Nathaniel thought this was what he meant by it. The look Nicky gave him father could only represent one of betrayal.

Andrew didn’t stop there. “If I’m correct, didn’t you tell me you would speak with Cass? You said you would tell her to not take in any more children. But he was here, so you lied. You didn’t tell Cass what he was doing, you let her bring in more children, and now you let him join your son and my brother for a  _ nice family holiday _ -” the way Andrew enunciated those three words made Nathaniel’s skin crawl “-knowing what he does. For all I have done to keep him away from them, and this is what you allow to happen. I have half the mind to kill you where you stand.”

Luther Hemmick did not say anything at first, nor the woman behind him, who Nathaniel assumed to be Nicky’s mother. When he finally did speak, it was not an apology or even an explanation but just a cold, “The police are on their way.”

Mr. and Mrs. Hemmick promptly left, and Nicky looked at his two cousins with a look that could only say  _ “I’m sorry” _ before rushing out after his parents.

“You let him into our home!” Nicky shouted down the hall. “You knew what he did-” Three voices then began to rise over each other in an attempt to drown each other out and win an argument that should have never had to start.

Aaron was clumsily trying to put himself back together, his entire frame still shaking, and Andrew shifted his position to block Aaron off from being seen through the doorway.

“Should I…” Nathaniel trailed off. Words felt unnecessary, even inappropriate. He wanted to apologize, but it would sound empty; he hadn’t experienced what either of them had.

“Leave,” Andrew finished for him. Nathaniel did and found himself in the hallway of the Hemmick’s house. The house looked so perfect from the outside and Nathaniel felt sick at how wrong it was. Nicky was still at the top of the staircase, staring down to the first floor but not moving.

He turned when Nathaniel started walking down the hall. He had tear streaks down his face. “You’re Nathaniel, right?” His voice was tired and shaky. Nathaniel nodded. “You can come downstairs. My… my parents are outside. The police will be here soon, an ambulance too….” He swallowed thickly and ran a hand through his curls. “If I knew what he, Drake, had done… I wouldn’t have let him near Aaron… my dad knew the entire time, and he didn’t even think to get help.” Nathaniel nodded again. He didn’t know Nicky, didn’t know Aaron, didn’t know this about Andrew, and he knew he could offer no real help. “But, yeah,” Nicky continued. “You can come downstairs and wait.”

Nathaniel followed him down the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Hemmick had located themselves to the backyard. Nicky offered him the leftover food they had, but Nathaniel didn’t think he would have an appetite for a while. He resolved to sitting on a couch in the living room. He could hear sirens.

“I’m just going out front to call our coach,” Nicky said. “He can bring clothes to the hospital for Aaron.”

He didn’t think Nicky cared to explain what he was doing, he believed speaking was the only way Nicky could keep everything together. So, he nodded and didn’t voice his hope that Aaron left here in an ambulance and not in handcuffs.

Nathaniel sat alone in the Hemmicks’ living room and processed what he had just experienced. He wondered where the misunderstanding came between whether or not it was Cass or Drake Spear coming to the Hemmicks for Thanksgiving. He tried to grasp the concept that Drake had dinner with them, that he was let into their home, and that Luther Hemmick knew about it. He couldn’t fathom the thought that at one point Andrew had told him that his foster brother was sexually assaulting him, and Luther didn’t believe him.

When Nicky came into the house five minutes later, a handful of police and medics followed him in. Nathaniel watched as he led them up the stairs. One instantly came over to collect his name and Nathaniel hesitated. To stay silent meant to damn himself to possibly being dragged into a case that he had no place in; to give his name meant risking it being publicized that he was here and not in Evermore. Nathaniel weighed his options, and even after feeling the chill of fear run up his back at his whereabouts being discovered, he gave his name. He just hoped that the witnesses wouldn’t be televised, if this was something that would even be reported on. At one point, two cops carried down a human sized bag and Nathaniel had to avert his eyes. At another, a cop went to collect Mr. and Mrs. Hemmick. Nicky came down again some time later and came over to where Nathaniel was seated.

“They’re taking Aaron to the hospital,” he explained. “The medics want to check for a concussion and any other injuries. The police said they’ll question him there and decide where he’s going from there. Andrew’s going with Aaron in the ambulance. I’m driving there and Andrew said you should come with me.”

Nathaniel nodded and said nothing. He would follow Andrew wherever he asked him to, but he knew his boundaries. He was to go with Andrew, but he would maintain his distance from the brothers.

Eventually, the medics came down with Aaron to help him into the ambulance. Cops followed them down, carrying papers on clipboard and muttering to each other. Andrew followed them wordlessly, only sparing Nathaniel and Nicky a glance as he passed. Shortly after, Nathaniel and Nicky went out to Nicky’s car.

In Nathaniel’s talks with Kevin, Kevin had described Nicky as someone who was constantly talking and filling silences. But the silence that stretched between them was so heavy Nathaniel felt the weight on his shoulders. Neither of them knew what to say. They didn’t need to comfort each other, and they didn’t know each other nearly enough to start talking about personal things, and they definitely weren’t going to talk about what had just happened. Most of all, though, everything they could say seemed inappropriate. They had already said everything they needed to in the house, anything else now was just excess. The words would just be used to fill the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think one of u readers cursed me after i posted friday's chapter bc ever since saturday i've felt super sick and like a bus hit me
> 
> thank you for reading!!!
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	19. chapter eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters 16-20 deal with sexual assault

Nathaniel hadn’t expected Richmond General Hospital to be so crowded. The Ravens didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, they didn’t really celebrate holidays at all, but he assumed that most people would be home with their families, enjoying what -for them- was a peaceful night. Instead, the hospital was crawling with anxious visitors, frazzled nurses and doctors, and a larger number of patients. Aaron must have been escorted to a room, for Andrew was leaning against the wall in the waiting room. No seats were left open. Andrew gave Nicky and Nathaniel a glance as they approached, but he said nothing. Perhaps, for one of the first times, Andrew didn’t have words either. Nathaniel couldn’t figure it out.

It took forty minutes for David Wymack to arrive at the hospital, and it was one of the longest forty minutes of Nathaniel’s life. All three avoided speaking with each other, and even went to just staring at the floor. A man’s voice saying, “Nicky” was what got their attention.

David Wymack, clad in jean shorts and a beat up sweatshirt, was holding a plastic bag as he approached Nicky. He gave Nathaniel and Andrew quick glances, but didn’t comment on their appearance. Perhaps Nicky told him of their arrival. Perhaps he didn’t know but didn’t care at the moment why two Ravens were with one of his Foxes. “Stay here,” he said to Nicky, though Nathaniel doubted that he had any intention of moving. Nathaniel watched as Wymack went up to the desk of the emergency room and talked with one of the people behind it. After a short conversation, he handed the plastic bag over and the man behind the desk and Wymack headed back over to them while the man headed off down one of the hallways. 

“No news yet,” Nicky said. His voice sounded hollow. “Haven’t seen him yet.” He slid a look over to his cousin in hopes that Andrew would say anything about what was happening with Aaron, but Andrew remained silent with his eyes staring ahead. Nathaniel wondered if he was too angry to speak, or if he was hiding Aaron’s personal business. “The police wanted to question him, I don’t know if they just want statements or…” Nicky trailed off and Wymack nodded.

“Come with me,” Wymack said. Nicky nodded and silently followed him out the front doors, leaving Andrew and Nathaniel alone. Nathaniel looked over at him, finally getting a good look at the expression on his face. His face was blank, his eyes dull and in front of him. The only indication that something was on his mind was the tenseness of his jaw. Nathaniel couldn’t even see if his fists were clenched, his hands were shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants.

At the sight of Andrew, Nathaniel’s vocal chords finally decided to start working properly, and he was unable to stop himself from saying, “Andrew” and his hand from reaching out.

Nathaniel didn’t know if he had anything to follow that up with. He didn’t get the opportunity to find out, for Andrew cut him off with, “Don’t.” With no hesitation, Nathaniel brought his hand back. The word  _ Don’t _ echoed in his mind; not because he was hurt or offended, he shouldn’t have tried to talk to Andrew when he so clearly didn’t want to. It was because this scene seemed all too familiar to Nathaniel, and he suddenly remembered finding Andrew in the locker room, beaten and bruised, and him warning Nathaniel to keep a distance between them with the word  _ Don’t _ . He remembered the way Andrew tensed when Nathaniel almost touched him as they kissed.

Nathaniel hadn’t known the situation, there was no way he could have, but he still felt sick at knowing how close he’d come to crossing Andrew’s boundaries.

He didn’t say anything else, and neither did Andrew.

Not long after, Wymack and Nicky returned and a nurse came to inform them that Aaron would be released to them soon.

“Take Aaron to your other house here,” Wymack said to Nicky. “Abby and Betsy are already there. I don’t know if he’ll talk to them but, if this goes to trial, he’s going to need a lawyer and-”

“Use Waterhouse.” All eyes turned to Andrew. No one had expected him to speak up. Andrew was looking at Nicky. “My lawyer.”

Nathaniel blinked. His mind tumbled to find a time when Andrew had mentioned needing a lawyer. He then realized that his lawyer was in direct correlation for the reason Andrew came medicated to the Ravens; it then suddenly clicked in his mind that Andrew had almost gone to jail, and instead was medicated, after protecting Nicky from men who were ready to kill him.

He didn’t understand people who said that Andrew genuinely did not care about anyone. It was obvious that Andrew’s care extended to those who were a part of his group. Then again, of course people wouldn’t know; Andrew didn’t have many people in his inner circle.

Nicky quickly regained his composure and nodded. “I was going to suggest him,” he said. “He would be the best for Aaron. I… doubt he’ll talk to Abby and Betsy -our team nurse and psychiatrist- but Waterhouse should be able to help him.” He was then distracted by something coming down the hall behind them. “I’ll take him. Andrew and Nathaniel still have a car at my house.”

Nathaniel thought Wymack said that he would take them to get Andrew’s car, but he couldn’t be too sure because, at the same time, he looked over his shoulder and saw Aaron Minyard coming down the hall. He was clad in a dark blue sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants, both too big for his small frame. His hood was pulled up, though once it got closer it did nothing to hide the cut going down to his cheek and the bruises that were now forming. His hands were shoved in his pockets and, as he approached, his eyes scanned over the group of them.

Nathaniel had to look away. Aaron’s face was gaunt and his eyes hollow and Nathaniel couldn’t stomach how breakable he looked. He had seen Aaron be nearly crushed by Exy players a foot taller than him and continue playing. The pain he felt for the other Minyard was staggering. But he didn’t think now was the time pity would be needed or accepted.

“Do you want me to take you to the house here?” Nicky asked Aaron in a quiet voice. Aaron nodded wordlessly, spared them all one last glance, before following his cousin out of the hospital.

Wymack then turned his attention to the two Ravens. “Now, how the hell did you two get here?”

“Driving,” Andrew said. 

Wymack rolled his eyes. “I figured that. How did you know to be here?” Wymack had to have figured that it was rare for one Ravens to escape from the Nest; two more should have been impossible. If Wymack really knew everything that was going on with the Ravens, he would know that Raven don’t just leave.

“We got a phone call.” At Andrew’s second vague response, Wymack deemed it an appropriate time to give up on the interrogation.

“Well,” Wymack started. “You two have to get your car. Mine is out front, I’ll take you.”

They both obliged and followed Wymack to the parking lot. From there, the three fell silent. Andrew wasn’t going to talk, Nathaniel was still at a loss for words, and Wymack knew that even attempting to speak to them would be useless. Andrew and Nathaniel sat themselves in the back of Wymack’s car and fell to staring out their respective windows.

When the Hemmick’s house came into view, the house looked much less perfect. Nothing had changed about its appearance, but just knowing what type of people lived their sickened Nathaniel. Throughout his life with the Ravens, Nathaniel had met many terrible people. He slept only a couple doors down from one of them. His own father killed his mother, and almost had to kill him, but he didn’t classify his family as an average family. Honestly, he didn’t think he even thought of them as family. But the Hemmicks, Andrew’s family, were not caught up in gangs and violence. They weren’t obliged to serve any master. Instead, they lived in a picture-perfect house and should have carried out a normal life. And yet, Mr. and Mrs. Hemmick had allowed someone into their house, someone who they knew had hurt their nephew, and someone who wouldn’t stop from hurting their other nephew and own son.

For a moment, Nathaniel didn’t think he would be able to conceal his anger. He felt it bubbling inside of him and boiling his blood. His stomach twisted at the thought of what they had allowed to happen in their house. The only way he could stop himself was screaming was clenching his fists on his knees. His hands still shook, however.

Wymack parked in front of the house. The police cars had cleared from the lot. Nathaniel hoped that they had arrested Luther Hemmick, but when he saw him come to the window to stare at the car in front of their house, he dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand. Wymack didn’t unlock the car and instead looked in the rearview mirror at the two sitting in the back of his car. For a split second, Nathaniel readied himself to have to fight his way out of the car, but instead Wymack spoke.

“You two have three options,” he said. “One, you go back to Evermore. Two, you go to the other house Nicky has here. Or three, you go to Palmetto State University and see Kevin. He doesn’t know you two are here, but I bet he would be thrilled to see you.” All three men in that car knew that Kevin would not be thrilled to see his ex-teammates. Out of everyone, he knew what it took to get out, and he knew what could happen if someone managed to escape.

Nathaniel considered the options. A chill went down his spine when he considered going back to Evermore. He couldn’t even call it the safest decision, because he knew all hell would break loose when they stepped in. Or maybe all hell had already broken loose. He worried his bottom lip and pushed the thought out of his mind. Their next option was to-

“We’re going to the other house here,” Andrew said, distracting Nathaniel from his thoughts.

Wymack nodded and unlocked his car. “I assume you know where it is?” Andrew nodded and shoved open his car door. “Then I’ll see you two there.”

Nathaniel got out and followed Andrew to his car. He heard Wymack pull away behind them and pulled open Andrew’s door. They both slid into their respective seats, but Andrew didn’t put the keys into the ignition yet.

Nathaniel was about to ask what the hold up was for when Andrew said, “It was Riko.”

Nathaniel stared at Andrew. To say that it, this, was Riko meant that Riko was the one to orchestrate all of this. It meant that he was the one to contact Drake and send him to Columbia from wherever he was residing. It meant that Riko had used his power to reach out from the Nest and taint the lives of those unrelated to him.

_ You’re going to fucking regret ever stepping foot in here. _ Riko’s words echoed in his mind. _ I told you to know who you belong to here and to watch your fucking attitude. _

Nathaniel was ready to break something. He would have preferred Riko, but he was now a couple states away.  Once again, the fear of inheriting his father’s anger came to mind, but that was not what was important right now. Later on, he could let the thought that he had his father’s anger and violence consume him; now was the time to hear what Riko had done.

“How?” Nathaniel whispered, unable to make his voice any louder.

“An anonymous file was sent to Cass Spear’s house, where Drake was living,” Andrew said, staring ahead. “In it, details of who Aaron was, where he was, and his connection to me. Drake was given the opportunity to have everything he wanted: despite everything, he would have still been able to have Aaron, every investigation would have been dropped, and no one would know. No regular person could get that information, or be that powerful. Someone would need to have a lot of influence to get every piece of information about someone and wield a court system.” Andrew drew in a breath through clenched teeth. “Riko never thought Kevin would have reported back to us.”

Nathaniel didn’t care if it made him like his father; he was ready to strangle Riko with his bare hands when they returned. “He’s extending his power too far,” he said. He didn’t know if it was the right thing to say, but it was better than pity or a vague statement about getting back at Riko or things getting better. “Despite being anonymous, something will have to lead back to him. He might as well be doing our work for us.”

“If Riko isn’t dead in a couple months, I’ll kill him myself.”

Nathaniel didn’t think Andrew was exaggerating. He didn’t comment on it. Andrew reached for the ignition, but his hand froze when Nathaniel asked, “What do you mean by ‘despite everything’?”

“Why do you think I went to the Ravens?” Andrew asked.

Nathaniel hesitated for a moment, trying to find the connection. “Kevin said it was because you saw what Riko was doing to him.”

“That was what made me stay here,” Andrew said. “To go to the Ravens meant keeping everything away from Aaron and Nicky. If I went to Palmetto with them, everything would have eventually caught up to them, somehow. Going to the Ravens was the way to keep them safe.” The look in Andrew’s eyes was dead. “All Drake wanted was to get me and Aaron in a room together. Staying away would have prevented that. I went to juvie to distract the Spears from contacting Aaron, and when Wymack tried recruiting me for the Foxes after Kevin and Riko, I told him to take Aaron and Nicky, instead, for safety reasons. He didn’t ask for an elaboration, probably thought that was the right answer.” He didn’t say anything else, and only a couple moments passed before he suddenly slammed his fist into the driver side window. Nathaniel flinched, surprised that he didn’t break the window.

When Andrew turned the car on, Nathaniel had a feeling that the conversation was over.

The drive to Nicky’s house was silent and short. Three cars were already there, two in the driveway and Wymack’s at the curb. Andrew parked his car behind Wymack’s and threw the door open. Nathaniel followed him to the front door. Like at the Hemmick’s house, Andrew didn’t knock but instead pushed the door open and walked inside. They entered the living room with the kitchen, and a table, visible through a doorway. Four people were sat at the table: Wymack, Nicky, and two people who Nathaniel didn’t recognize. He assumed one of them to be Abby and the other to be Betsy.

Nicky was the first to see them. He raised his eyebrows at them and said, “You’re here.” This caused the others to turn to the strangers in the livingroom. Nathaniel kept himself from shifting under their gaze; Wymack and Nicky had already spoken to them, but both women sized up the Ravens standing before them. Neither woman seemed threatened by them, or potentially threatening, but Nathaniel could see their distrust in them, or at least in himself. They knew why Andrew was there, but to them Nathaniel was just another Raven. He knew that he didn’t belong there, that he had no place being there, but Andrew said they were both going here, and Nathaniel wasn’t about to leave him.

“Where is he?” Andrew asked.

“He went upstairs,” Nicky answered. “He doesn’t… really want to talk to anyone.”

“Aaron is safe with us,” the woman, plump, with short brown hair said. She had a friendly smile on her face, but Nathaniel doubted Andrew would believe such a vague claim.

“You say that,” Andrew said, proving Nathaniel right.

“We already called the lawyer you suggested,” the woman continued, unfazed by Andrew’s blatant distrust. “We’re positive he’s going to take Aaron’s case.”

When Andrew didn’t say anything, Wymack, who probably saw that the conversation was going nowhere, said, “Andrew and Nathaniel, Betsy Dobson, Palmetto’s psychiatrist-” he nodded to the woman who was just speaking “and Abby Winfield, our team nurse.” He indicated to the other woman, who had dark hair pulled back in a hair band and a hand resting on Nicky’s shoulder. No one said anything about it being a pleasure to meet each other.

“Waterhouse is coming tomorrow to take testimonies,” Betsy continued. Nathaniel noted her not specifying _ whose  _ testimonies. They expected Andrew to also talk to the lawyer.

Andrew didn’t say anything. He just swept one last look over all of them before turning on his heel and walking back to the living room.

“We’re not leaving until those two are,” Andrew said once they found their spot on one of the couches, not bothering to lower his voice. He was staring back into the kitchen and Nathaniel followed his gaze. He was shocked to find that Andrew’s eyes were on Betsy and Abby. He furrowed his eyebrows and tried to make a connection as to why Andrew held such blatant distrust for the two women. Nathaniel couldn’t make proper judgement, but if they were here he assumed that they at least meant Aaron no harm.

He thought back to what Andrew said about his and Aaron’s mother, how the only thing she was good for was the money they received when she was dead. At that time, Nathaniel just thought it was a bit of spite peeking out of Andrew at being the twin left behind, or perhaps she was just a bad mother. Now, however, Nathaniel had a feeling it was something more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a month from today one of my favorite chapters (with my favorite cliffhanger) will be posted, fun fact
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	20. chapter nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw(s): chapters 16-20 deal with sexual assault, mentions of abuse

Waterhouse did come to the house the next day to take testimonies, and Andrew wasn’t lying when he said that they wouldn’t leave until Betsy and Abby did. They spent the night in the house, more specifically on the couch, and Nathaniel had a feeling Andrew didn’t sleep. When the morning came, it wasn’t hard to miss the bags under Andrew’s eyes. Nathaniel wondered if he didn’t sleep because he had too much on his mind, or if he didn’t because he wanted to stay up on watch for his brother.

The house was quiet for the most part, despite there being seven people in it. The adults usually spoke in a murmured fashion, low enough so that only they could hear each other’s words. Nicky stuck in the living room with them, and Andrew let him, but he stayed quiet most of the time. Nathaniel found Nicky staring at him a couple times, and he just knew that Nicky was curious about the Raven, who never met any of them, who followed his cousin to a different state.

Andrew did end up speaking to the lawyer. He refused to do it in the house where people could hear him, but Nathaniel assumed that Andrew knew how pivotal his testimony would be for Aaron’s case. Nathaniel still felt sick at even the thought of what Andrew was saying about what had happened.

Aaron only came downstairs when Waterhouse needed to speak to him. He didn’t look any better than the day before, but Nathaniel hadn’t expected him to. He was wearing the same sweats and sweatshirt that he left the hospital in the day before, and his head was still ducked down in its hood. Andrew watched as he made his way to the kitchen, but he didn’t say anything.

Once Waterhouse left was when everyone else started to disperse. The adults had to get back to Palmetto, but they made it clear before they left that the others, especially Aaron, could stay in the house as long as they needed to. Aaron decided to stay, not ready to be back with his teammates yet, and Nicky decided to stay with him. Nathaniel expected Andrew to do the same, but instead Andrew informed them that they have to go “pay Kevin a visit”.

So, Nathaniel found himself back in Andrew’s car on their way to Palmetto State University. He vividly remembered all the orange, but he knew it wouldn’t look nearly as bright. They would be walking into the Foxes’ territory uninvited. When they went there in October for their game, everyone expected their arrival and they wouldn’t have to worry about actually interacting with them. But now, it was just Nathaniel and Andrew. They had no protection behind gear or other teammates. Not to mention the fact that no one outside of Nicky and Aaron, not even Kevin, knew they were in South Carolina.

Nathaniel didn’t think he could handle his racing heartbeat, so he turned to asking Andrew the question that’s been plaguing him since the previous night.

“Why wouldn’t we leave until Abby and Betsy left?” Nathaniel was leaning his head against the window, watching everything fly by outside.

“I wasn’t leaving them with Aaron.”

“Yeah, but why?” Nathaniel asked. “There’s obviously a reason.”

“You already asked a question,” Andrew said. “You could at least be polite and let me ask one.”

Nathaniel noticed that this had become a common thing done between them. A question for a question, answer for an answer. It was a game of trust and a game of truths.

“What do you want to know?”

“Why did you come here?” Andrew asked. Nathaniel raised his eyebrows and looked over at Andrew. Andrew tended to ask questions about his life before the Ravens. He hadn’t expected a question about his personal motives. For a moment, he thought of deterring the question with saying that he answered that when they left. But, thinking back, that wasn’t really an answer, nor was it really a question. Andrew asked if he was coming, and Nathaniel said that he followed him. Andrew wouldn’t accept that bullshit answer.

“Because I wanted to,” Nathaniel said, hoping Andrew would hear the truth in it. “We’re supposed to stick together in this. That means not letting you go to a different state alone.”

Andrew glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “One-hundred-and-four percent,” Andrew muttered.

Nathaniel huffed out a breath and rolled his eyes. “Are you gonna answer mine?”

Andrew didn’t say anything. He stared out the windshield at the traffic ahead of them, and his fingers resumed their tapping on the steering wheel. Nathaniel stared at him but Andrew acted like he didn’t even notice him. He was ready to accept that Andrew wasn’t going to give him an answer when Andrew said, “I don’t trust women around Aaron.” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow. “His mother beat him, and I had to be the one to take care of it. Aaron and I made a pact that we would stick together in high school, which meant that I had to stand in between him and everything else out to get him, whether it be his mother or drugs. This was the only time I’ve seen him do something for himself.”

Nathaniel blinked, processing what Andrew had just told him. One thing stood out to him out of everything else. Andrew had said that his and Aaron’s mother crashed her car and died, and Andrew proceeded to use that money to buy a fancy car. He had a feeling things were a lot more complicated than that. “ ‘Took care of it’?” he asked. “Something tells me it’s more fatal than that.”

Finally, Andrew glanced at him. He wore no expression, yet his next words sent a chill down Nathaniel’s spine, “I told her what would happen if she hit him again. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t listen. Unfortunately for Aaron, he didn’t either.”

Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows, trying to make the connection. He then remembered Kevin’s off-hand comments about how Aaron never asked about his brother, and how Nathaniel had never heard Andrew talk about Aaron until recently. For brothers that, after not knowing each other for a large portion of their life, made a pact to stick together through everything and protect each other, it seemed rather odd that they preferred acting like the other didn’t exist. Especially after one saved the other from an abusive parent. 

Something then occurred to Nathaniel. “Aaron didn’t take your side, did he?”

“I don’t like liars Nathaniel, you know that.” It was the unspoken truth. Andrew vowed to stick by Aaron’s side in high school as long as Aaron did the same. Aaron taking his mother’s side, after everything Andrew did to protect him, was the knife in Andrew’s back. Andrew’s trust in people was bone-deep; he would go to extreme measures to keep the people he vowed to protect safe. To turn against him and break that promise was a betrayal to Andrew. Once their pact was broken, so was any bond they tried to form as brothers.

There was something still there, though, between the brothers. Something that possibly hinted at them one day being able to remake their trust in one another. If Andrew truly didn’t care about Aaron, he wouldn’t have gone to Columbia. Nathaniel just hoped that, one day, each of them would be able to see that things could be different.

Nathaniel could think of so many more questions he wanted to ask Andrew, and so many more answers he would be willing to give up, but nothing felt appropriate. 

He let the rest of the ride to Palmetto be silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, im sorry i thought this chapter had more in it. i was gonna combine chapter nineteen and twenty but i already scheduled the other chapters and then i would have to renumber all the next chapters. next chapter, we finally see our beloved foxes!!!
> 
> also if u ever have any questions regarding the fic, like why i cut something or why i did something a certain way, feel free to ask me :)
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	21. chapter twenty

When Nathaniel and Andrew arrived at Fox Tower, the athletic dormitories, it wasn’t difficult to find out which floor the Exy team lived on. Nathaniel thought Andrew was ready to go and knock on every door to find Kevin, but instead as they proceeded down the hall a door swung open and out walked Matthew Boyd. Voices could be slightly heard from the room he exited. He was swinging a key ring around his finger, though when he finally saw them, he almost dropped it.

“What-” he started to say, obviously recognizing them as his eyes flicked between them.

Andrew didn’t let him finish. “Where’s Kevin?”

“Uh, he’s-” Matt still seemed to be processing who he was seeing in front of him. “He’s in there.” He jerked his thumb to point at the open door.

Nathaniel and Andrew stepped around him and to the doorway. The Foxes were all scattered out on couches, chairs, and beanbags. The TV was on but no sound was playing. They must have heard Matt because they were all staring at the doorway waiting. At the sight of Nathaniel and Andrew, a few gasped but Nathaniel paid no mind to them. Instead, he paid attention to Kevin, who was sitting in a chair in their direct line of sight. He stared back at them, his jaw dropped.

“Hello Kevin,” Nathaniel said.

That must have been what caused Kevin to realise that this was in-fact real and not a figment of his imagination, because he shot up from the chair and bounded over to them. “What the fuck are you two doing here?” 

“How could we not pay a visit after your call?” Andrew cocked his head to the side. “We came here for Aaron and Nicky, but decided to stop to see you, too. We have some things to discuss.”

“Do you two even realise what you’ve done by coming here? You just walked out, and you don’t even know what you’ve started back there.” Kevin was seething, enough so that he didn’t care that his teammates were watching their every move.

“Says you,” Andrew said. “I don’t remember your leave having a peaceful aftermath, and I don’t forget things-” Kevin flinched “-but, you see, not leaving wasn’t an option. I’m sure you’re smart enough to know why.”

“Are you going to let us sit?” Nathaniel asked. He heard another door open and looked over his shoulder at Matt coming out of another room with a case of beer in his hands. “We’ll even have refreshments.”

Kevin hesitated before stepping aside, letting Nathaniel and Andrew in with Matt following behind them. Matt put the case down in the kitchen and found his spot next to Danielle Wilds on the couch, but she barely noticed him. All Foxes had eyes on the two newest additions to their gathering. Kevin, who was originally sitting on a beanbag, dragged another one over along with a chair from the kitchen. Andrew immediately claimed the chair, so Nathaniel sunk into the beanbag as Kevin did the same next to him.

“Do you need introductions?” Kevin asked.

Nathaniel scoped out the room. Dan, Matt, and Renee Walker had taken the couch. Allison Reynolds sat across from them in front of the coffee table. Seth Gordon sat more off to the side in a beat up chair. He then looked back to Kevin and shook his head. “Won’t be needed.”

“So,” Kevin said, leaning forward to look at the two of them. “What did you need to tell me?”

“It seems that Riko has a thing for collateral damage,” Andrew said. He was expressionless, but Nathaniel didn’t miss his jaw clenching.

Kevin’s eyebrows shot up and Nathaniel thought he saw him pale slightly. He immediately understood what Andrew was saying, and was in utter disbelief. “What?”

Andrew kept his eyes locked on Kevin. One by one Nathaniel saw the Foxes put two and two together and get the answer that they all feared. “Th-That’s a very big accusation,” Dan stammered.

Andrew turned to her. “It’s a true one.”

“What did he do?” Kevin asked, so quietly next to them Nathaniel didn’t know if Andrew would even be able to hear him.

“Riko tells me I need to know my place, Drake gets documents and an anonymous note saying that every investigation that can lead to him will be dropped if he goes to Columbia,” Andrew said. “There’s only one person we know that could have that power and information.”

“Holy fucking shit,” Allison said.

“We have to do something,” Dan said. “We can’t just let him get away with this!”

“You want to show up Riko?” Nathaniel said. “Win Championships. We’ve been doing our part, now it’s time to do yours.”

Most of the Foxes stared at him like he had just grown ten other heads. Seth Gordon let out a loud, hysterical laugh. “Oh, you have got to be fucking  _ shitting _ me. Do you even fucking know what you’re saying?”

“I do, actually. You have a national champion on your starting line,” Nathaniel said. “Before him, you team was a shit show, and that’s an understatement. Now Kevin is here, and you all are winning with wider point gaps. Maybe now you can all finally start pulling your weight and use Kevin to your advantage, instead of letting him rot here on a losing team.”

Dan didn’t look very happy at her team being insulted right in front of her, but she wasn’t allowed a rebuttal because Renee Walker finally spoke up, “Nathaniel has a point.” Her voice was soft but everyone turned to her, eager to hear what she had to say. “If what they’re saying is the case, the least we can do is have faith that we can win. With this, we’ll need more than that, but it’s a start.” She looked around at her fellow teammates, some of which wore doubtful expressions. “We have to try, for Kevin, for Aaron-” she looked at Nathaniel and Andrew “- for them, too, and anyone else Riko has harmed.”

“So, what?” Allison said. “We just magically get around your offensive and defensive side and score more than Riko?” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’ll be easy. I’m all for destroying Riko, he’s an asshole to say the least, and has done _ horrible  _ things. But we can’t just somehow beat National Champions.”

“Yeah, if I’m correct, you guys destroyed us,” Matt said. “Our strikers couldn’t get past you and your other backliner-” Nathaniel felt a twinge in his gut at the mention of Jean but he pushed it back “-and our backliners couldn’t stop your strikers.”

“We’ve already been working on this,” Andrew said, leaning back in his chair. “Just do what a Class I sports team is supposed to do and be better.”

Their eyes flicked to Kevin, waiting for him to say something. “I’ve been telling you all the same thing,” he said with a shrug.

“It’s time for Riko’s reign to be over,” Nathaniel said, looking over all the Foxes. “He’s hurt too many people with too little consequences. For this to work, you have to cooperate with Kevin, but most of all, you have to cooperate with each other. I don’t care if you all hate each other off the court, but on it you need to get your heads out of your asses and play like you’re a Class I Exy team. We have everything else handled, it’s up to you all to do your part.”

No one said anything at first. They all shared glances and silent conversations about what they had just heard. 

Finally, Dan said, “We’ll do it. We’ll help you.”

At one o’clock, Nathaniel and Andrew figured it was time to leave Palmetto. If Nathaniel was being honest, a small part of him feared what they would be returning to. He was confident with Andrew at his side, but there were still thoughts lurking in the back of his mind as to what chaos had broke out at the Nest. They bid quick goodbyes to the Foxes and Kevin wished them good luck; Nathaniel had a feeling it applied more than to just their future games.

When they were outside and halfway to the parking lot, a voice behind them called “Wait!”

They both turned around to see Renee jogging up to them. When she reached them, she held out a piece of paper. “If you ever need anything,” she said. Andrew just stared at her hand, so Nathaniel was the one to take the paper. A phone number in a small, neat handwriting was written on it. He looked back up at Renee and found himself curious about the girl with the pastel hair, the girl who instantly agreed to help them take out Riko. He knew who the Foxes recruited, and he didn’t know how this kindness fit in.

But he did find himself accepting Renee’s offer.

“We’ll let you know,” he said, shoving the paper in his pocket.

“Good,” she smiled. “Have a safe trip back.”

“Thanks,” Nathaniel said slowly. He wasn’t used to this: someone being kind and warm only for the sake of being kind and warm. No alliances, no overbearing threat of being beat if they were anything but respectful. Andrew, without saying a word, turned back around and continued for his car. “Uh, bye,” Nathaniel said before following him.

The drive back to Edgar Allan started off quiet. It had started to rain twenty minutes into the drive, and Nathaniel couldn’t think of what to say. This day with Andrew outside of the Nest felt like years, and he didn’t think being back at the Nest would be any better. His mind kept racing through things he had questions on, the Foxes, the Ravens, the plan, what was going on without them, what was to happen with Aaron, Andrew, Andrew, _ Andrew _ .

He looked down at his hands and thought of the man sitting next to him. Andrew Minyard had gone through hell and back, and had returned to it for a day to see his brother being dragged down into it. And maybe now he wasn’t out of it yet, since there was going to be a trial and Andrew would most likely be asked to testify the horrors that had been done to him. He thought of the amount of times he had been with Andrew and wondered if he had ever done anything to make Andrew feel unsafe.

He thought of the amount of times Tetsuji had hurt Andrew, and Nathaniel could perfectly see his hands wrapped around Tetsuji’s throat.

“Andrew,” Nathaniel finally said, looking up. He had to know. He had to know for Andrew’s sake; this, whatever they had, couldn’t continue if Andrew didn’t want it.

Andrew didn’t say anything but looked at Nathaniel out of the corner of his eye.

“How is any of this okay?” He rushed out. “ _ Is _ this okay? With all that you’ve been through, how can we-”

“Don’t,” Andrew said and Nathaniel slammed his mouth shut. He didn’t try to speak after that.

“That’s why,” Andrew said.

This conversation seemed all too familiar to Nathaniel. He searched the corners of his mind for where he had heard this play out before, and suddenly something clicked. He remembered finding Andrew, bloodied and bruised, in the locker room after Tetsuji was finished with him. Andrew’s  _ “don’t” _ when Nathaniel tried to assist him, Andrew’s refusal of him leaving. Nathaniel questioning why he should stay if Andrew was so visibly agitated.

Andrew’s  _ “that’s why” _ .

Nathaniel had a feeling he was one of the only people who have ever listened to Andrew when he told them to stop. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought. He was at least slightly comforted, though, at knowing Andrew trusted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh guys i am so sorry this is being posted at almost 9:30pm, i had a swim meet tn and it went a lot later than i thought it would (we won tho so!!! yay!!!) but here i am with a new chapter!!!
> 
> happy early birthday to the beloved twinyards!!!
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	22. chapter twenty-one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> volume iii
> 
> a man plagued with being in the wrong place at the wrong time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for extreme violence and mentions of self harm

At one point during the drive, Nathaniel offered to drive since Andrew had drove both ways. Andrew told him no, and that actually ended up being a good thing since Nathaniel fell asleep all the way back to the Nest.

Nathaniel woke up when the car stopped. He rubbed his eyes to clear the sleep from them, blinking to get a focus on his surroundings. The sun had set, leaving the parking lot pitch black. Only dim streetlights kept the parking lot slightly illuminated, though the stadium was bright and alive. He looked at the clock. It was six o’clock; their evening practice wouldn’t be starting for another hour and a half.

“Just in time for practice,” Nathaniel said.

“Such a junkie,” Andre muttered before shutting off his car and throwing his door open. Nathaniel followed suit and walked after him to the door they came out of. 

Tetsuji’s door was left unlocked, and when Andrew pushed it open they found Tetsuji and Riko. Tetsuji was sitting at his desk and Riko was in front of him. Nathaniel assumed they must have been talking, most likely about them, but now they both had their eyes on the two in front of them.

“Did you miss us?” Andrew asked.

“How dare you two think you could leave here,” Tetsuji growled, rising from his seat. Riko just smirked and leaned back to watch the show. He thought he already won.

If this was Nathaniel from a couple months ago, he would have crumbled in fear. He would have fallen to his knees, like he was meant to, and just wait for Tetsuji’s beating to be over, and then be sent to Riko for more. Fighting back, however, wasn’t an option then; now it was nearly a requirement. “Cabin fever, you know?”

“ _ Don’t talk back to me! _ ” Tetsuji shouted. Neither Nathaniel nor Andrew flinched. Tetsuji pulled his cane from the side of his desk. “Kneel,” he commanded. Neither did so. “You will not disobey me like this! You know your place and your purpose here, so  _ kneel _ .”

When they silently refused to do so, Tetsuji swung his cane back. Then, all Nathaniel felt was a burst of pain on the side of his knee and his legs buckled underneath him. His knees slammed to the floor and Andrew’s did the same a moment later.

He heard Tetsuji mutter something to Riko, though he couldn’t catch what it was because only a second later Tetsuji was bringing the cane down on his back. Nathaniel hissed through his teeth but tried to stay as upright as possible. He hung his head and curled his hands on the ground, trying to hold himself together. He saw movement in the corner of his eye, but didn’t get the chance to look for Tetsuji whipped the cane on the same spot. Nathaniel felt his skin split underneath his shirt and knew that there would be scars left over. He braced himself for another hit that didn’t come.

Instead, he watched Riko step away from Andrew with a knife in his hand. Nathaniel panicked, quickly bringing his eyes over Andrew to see where the damage was. However, instead of finding something new, he found that something was missing. Andrew’s hands were pressed to the floor and his wrists were bare. In front of him, Andrew’s black armbands were cut off.

The first thing Nathaniel saw were scars dragged along Andrew’s wrists; the next was Tetsuji bringing his cane down on them.

Nathaniel was ready to call out for him to stop, to beg Tetsuji to only go after Nathaniel, when Riko knelt in front of him with his devil smile and gripped Nathaniel’s jaw.

“Welcome home, Nathaniel,” Riko beamed.

Nathaniel spat in his face.

The grin fell off Riko’s face and turned into a look that could freeze Hell. He took his hand away from Nathaniel’s jaw only to slap him across the cheek a moment later. “You’ve made a very bad mistake, Nathaniel,” Riko hissed.

“So did you,” Nathaniel replied.

Riko’s stare was blank. Nathaniel hoped it meant that he realized his trail wasn’t cold, and that they knew what he did. He wanted Riko to realize that he wasn’t going to get away with it, but Riko was too prideful to consider the consequences of his actions.

“Riko,” Tetsuji snapped at his nephew and Riko backed away from Nathaniel. Nathaniel looked out of the corner of his eye at Andrew. Andrew’s hands were clenched into fists, with blood dripping down his wrists and most likely soaking through his shirt.

Nathaniel sucked in a harsh breath as Tetsuji brought the cane down on his back in quick successions. He alternated between him and Andrew, constantly striking the same spot multiple times before moving on. Nathaniel felt the blood dripping down his skin and his back throbbing, but he just kept his head down, eyes snapped shut, and hands clenched. At one point, the pain became too unbearable to the degree where Nathaniel though he would lose consciousness.

But he sucked in a breath, and didn’t allow himself to break. He remembered when he was ready to give up, when Kevin had left and all hope was gone for him. Riko had destroyed him, had broken him down, and he wasn’t planning on picking himself up. He was scarred, bloodied, and bruised, life was turning into Hell, and he was ready to leave himself on the ground and barely crawl to survival. He was weak, and he hated himself for it, but he wasn’t planning on changing that about himself.

Now, Nathaniel couldn’t let himself stoop that low again. He couldn’t let the pain and the despair pollute him when he had a corrupt captain and coach to destroy. Survival was always hard, living was always an unreachable concept, but with Andrew and Kevin at his side now, both seemed in arm’s reach. He couldn’t give up now, not when Riko expected them to. Giving in and giving up was no longer an option. He couldn’t be the Nathaniel Wesninski he was a couple months ago. The Nathaniel Wesninski then only hoped to survive until the day he left Edgar Allan, he was angry about the way his life had panned out and yet refused to do anything to change it.

No, not only couldn’t he be that Nathaniel anymore, he would never allow himself to be like that again.

So, after drawing in a sharp breath when Tetsuji paused his beating, he looked up at Riko and said in pained words, but still words he meant, “You’re going to regret every fucking thing you have ever done to us.”

Tetsuji shoved his head back down and slammed the cane on his back. He waited for another blow, forcing himself to stay conscious, except the hit never came. He looked up to see Tetsuji throw his cane next to his desk.

“Get the fuck out of my office,” Tetsuji snapped at them.

Nathaniel managed to pick himself up off the floor, but was shoved out the door by Riko. He hissed when Riko’s hand smacked on his back, and barely avoided tripping. He kept himself going, though, and made sure that him and Andrew stayed at each other’s sides. There was no way either were going to let the other fall behind when Riko was on their heels. Riko had now seen three of his Perfect Court walk peacefully out of the Nest; there was no telling what he was going to do next.

When they reached the dormitories, Nathaniel thought Riko was finally going to leave them alone, but instead he came up close behind him and whispered, “Are you going to go see Jean?”

Nathaniel felt his heart drop to his stomach.

While accompanying Andrew to Columbia, Nathaniel had pushed the Nest out of his mind. He couldn’t let himself think about what was going on back there because that would only turn him into a panicking mess. He saw the Nest as something he would have to deal with when he got back. 

Now, however, he realized the selfishness of his plan, for Jean was the one left with Riko. Jean was the one left to reap Nathaniel’s consequences.

Nathaniel, through all the burning and all the pain, scrambled to get to his room. His back burned and his knees ached but he still tried to move as fast as his mind was. He hadn’t even seen Jean yet and the disgust he felt at himself just kept rising to higher and higher levels.

When Nathaniel almost shoved the door down and got a look at Jean, he wanted to be sick.

Jean Moreau was a man plagued with always being in the wrong place at the wrong time. While they lived in France, his father couldn’t pay a debt he owed to the Moriyamas and instead gave up his son. He was brought to Evermore, kicking and screaming, doomed to a successful life if he could survive the pain and misery that came with it. He was paired off with Nathaniel Wesninski, a boy who was in the same boat as him. Both having been given to the Moriyamas and then Riko, they found understanding in each other. At one point they called each other friends, but as they grew older they became allies to each other. If they each had to survive through the torture, they had to help the other one stay afloat, too.

Now, though, it was as if Nathaniel threw Jean into rough waters with no life vest.

Jean Moreau, poor Jean Moreau, was curled up on his bed. Bruising that went from his right eye to his nose adorned his face, clashing terribly with his ill-looking complexion. His nose was disfigured and obviously broken. A cut was slashed on his cheek, narrowly missing the tattooed four, and dripped blood had dried onto his face. Bruises the size of fingers had his neck in a chokehold. Bruises and cuts continued up his arms, and Nathaniel was positive he could see dried blood on Jean’s shirt. The damage that couldn't be seen in public was always worse, and after seeing what was done to his face, Nathaniel could only imagine what was done to Jean’s body. It was Riko who did the damage, and Riko liked to hit where it would hurt the most; perhaps Jean was in this curled, fragile position because it hurt too much to think about moving. Nathaniel had a feeling that Riko left Jean like this, battered and immobile, for Nathaniel to come and find.

“Jean,” Nathaniel choked out as he rushed to him. The only thing he could think of saying next was, “ _ I’m so sorry _ .”

This seemed to be the first time Jean noticed his presence. His eyes focused on Nathaniel, and he immediately struggled to get farther away. However, when he tried to push himself up, his left arm buckled and he let out a pained cry before collapsing back on the bed.

“Jean, I-” Nathaniel stammered. “I’m so- let me-”

“No!” Jean snapped at him. His voice was rough from disuse. Noticing Nathaniel had seemed to strike painful life back into him. Still, he tried to move himself farther from Nathaniel despite how much his body must have been burning, though Nathaniel didn’t miss his strained breathing.

Nathaniel wanted to reach out, wanted to help him, wanted to do  _ anything _ , but instead he sat back on his heels. An apology wouldn’t work. To apologize would be pathetic; it was Nathaniel’s carelessness that threw Jean into this mess. An apology wouldn’t heal Jean.

Most of all, though, Nathaniel knew he  _ couldn’t  _ do anything. The damage had already been done, there was nothing Nathaniel could do. Jean didn’t trust him anymore. The alliance they had was broken when Nathaniel stepped out of the Nest. Jean had every right not to trust him. All this time, Nathaniel had constantly thought about Riko needing to reap the consequences of his own actions, and yet Nathaniel didn’t even consider what would happen when he decided to leave.

He was the reason his mother was killed, and now his bad decisions would be forever remembered on Jean.

Then Jean, broken, bruised, bloodied Jean, looked at him and barely said, “What happened to sticking together?” His words were so quiet, so tired, but Nathaniel still felt like he was punched in the gut.

Nathaniel swallowed thickly and retreated to the pathetic, “I’m so sorry.”

Jean said nothing.

Nathaniel then slowly pushed himself up off the ground. He winced at the pain that sprang from his knees and went through his whole body. He grabbed a key ring from his bedside table. “I won’t let him get to you,” he said quietly. It was an empty promise; Riko had already gotten to Jean. “I have to…” he sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. “I’ll be right back.”

Jean said nothing.

Nathaniel pushed open the door, cast one last look at Jean, and stepped out. He locked the door behind him. A lock wouldn’t stop Riko, but Nathaniel felt better knowing that Riko would at least have to apply force to get in.

Really though, Nathaniel hoped Riko wouldn’t try. Jean had been through enough. Whatever Riko had planned, Nathaniel deserved it. If Nathaniel vowed to himself to not break, he owed it to Jean to stand between him and Riko.

Nathaniel’s feet naturally carried him to Andrew’s room. He knocked twice before pushing the door open; Andrew’s roommate barely stayed in there anymore.

From the time it took Nathaniel to get from his room to Andrew’s, something inside of him snapped. Guilt faded away and anger replaced it, or perhaps the guilt turned into anger. He was angry at himself, angry for being so careless. He put Jean in danger and didn’t even consider it until the damage was already done. It was his fault, and yet, when he saw Andrew’s face, his anger boiled over. It was wrong to point dirty fingers at Andrew, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “You said you would protect Jean.” Andrew stared at him blankly.

“You said you would protect him,” Nathaniel repeated. “You said you would be a buffer between him and Riko. You said you would try!” Nathaniel’s insides curled at hearing his voice rise. Andrew didn’t say anything. “But you let me follow you to Columbia, and now Jean’s hurt. I left him here and followed you and Riko stepped in and- and beat the shit out of him! And now- and now he doesn’t trust me and you  _ said _ you would help but you-”

“I never told you to follow me,” Andrew interrupted, his voice firmer than his expression let on. “That was your choice, and your choice only. You knew from the moment you asked for my help that I made no promise to keep Jean safe. I said I would try, because that was all I could do. It wasn’t me who made you forget all of that and blindly follow me out, ignoring the responsibility that you had to Jean. There are some things that you work your ass off to prevent but those things still happen because life fucking sucks-” Nathaniel flinched “Other things, you have to accept that you were the reason. Be angry all you like, but I’m not the one who’s at fault here, and I believe you’re smart enough to know that.”

Nathaniel’s anger burned out as quickly as it began. He pulled at his hair in an attempt to ground himself from the crushing guilt he felt. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “It’s all my fault,” he managed out. “Jean is hurt, and he doesn’t trust me, and I don’t blame him. I just-” he huffed out a breath and ran a hand over his face. He had felt too much in too short of a timespan and he didn’t know how to handle it. He thought the guilt was going to eat him alive. “I managed to hurt the person who has stuck by my side since I was a child, and I did it with my own stupidity.”

“It is your fault,” Andrew said. His bluntness spiked in Nathaniel’s heart. “You didn’t come here for a fight, and you didn’t come here for comfort. I’m not here to give you any. You knew that Jean was your responsibility, he always has been as you have always been his, but you abandoned that when you left- something that I never asked you to do. These are the consequences of your actions, now it’s time for you to fix it.”

_ Now it’s time for you to fix it. _ Nathaniel let the words run over and over in his mind. He knew Andrew was right; if Nathaniel was so hell-bent on surviving and getting out of here, he owed it to Jean to actually protect him through it. He and Jean had stuck with each other through everything, they had to, but nothing had ever gotten to this level. When they were beat, they were beat as a unit. They had to pull each other up off the ground and keep moving forward. Now, though, Nathaniel had left Jean vulnerable and Riko took no time to go after the weak link. 

Nathaniel had put Jean in this situation; he was never going to let something like this happen again.

Nathaniel took a deep breath and nodded. “I will,” he said. “I’m going to go back to my room.”

“That would be the smart thing to do.”

He left Andrew’s room.

When Nathaniel approached his door and took the keyring from his pocket, Riko came down the hall. A devil’s grin decorated his face. “Tetsuji cancelled practice,” he said. “He doesn’t want to deal with incompetence.”

“Good for him,” Nathaniel quipped. “He finally recognized your worth.” Riko looked like he was about to snap back. “Yes, I know, I should watch what I say. I should know my place. But I don’t think it would serve you best to retaliate right now. If you take out another one of your Perfect Court, how do you think Coach would react?”

They both knew Nathaniel wasn’t talking about just Jean.

“Get the fuck out of my sight,” Riko, with clenched fists, hissed.

“Glady,” Nathaniel said and opened his door. Jean hadn’t moved from where he was before. Nathaniel didn’t hesitate to put the lock on behind him. He was about to tell Jean that he was there if he needed anything when he realized that the other had fallen asleep. A part of him wanted to wake him and at least help him into a different change of clothes, but he decided that it would be better if he didn’t touch him. He didn’t think they were close to being at that level yet. Instead, he just grabbed a throw blanket he kept in a bin under his bed and lightly draped it over him.

For the rest of the night, he stayed up, sitting on his bed. He listened for any violent hands trying to open the locked door and constantly kept checking Jean out of the side of his eye. Sleep came in small amounts, usually only when he dozed off and was jolted back awake at hearing movement outside.

The morning came slowly, and by the time they were summoned for morning practice, Nathaniel’s body felt worse than it ever had. His back stung and every time he moved he thought he would irritate the cuts on his back. Still, though, when their door was slammed on, Nathaniel pulled himself out of bed and Jean flinched awake.

The most reassuring thing Nathaniel could think to ask Jean was, “Do you need any help?”

“No,” Jean said, and Nathaniel hadn’t expected a different answer.

Their morning practice proceeded as normal, at first. Nathaniel’s body screamed with each movement, but he had spent years perfecting the art of continuing to practice while being in immense pain. He was able to keep himself going, and made sure to not stray far from Jean throughout their drills and scrimmage.

Everything proceeded as normal, that is, until Jean collapsed on the court halfway through first half. No one had checked him, he hadn’t tripped, his body had just given out on him. Nathaniel sprinted to him. Behind them, he could hear their teammates shouting at Jean for him to get up. Jean struggled and barely managed to get himself off the ground.

“Jean, you need to get up,” Nathaniel said, kneeling down next to his fellow backliner. “Even if we get you to the benches, you need to get up.”

“No- no, I don’t need your-”

The court froze when the court door slammed open. “Wesninski! Moreau!” Tetsuji shouted at them.

Jean’s breathing hitched.

“Can I help you get over there?” Nathaniel asked quietly.

Jean hesitated before nodding.

Nathaniel stood and hoisted Jean up. Jean, who had trouble trying to get himself off the ground, had even more trouble trying to stay upright. After only a few steps, he ended up practically draped over Nathaniel and using him for full support. Nathaniel struggled with the extra weight on top of him; Jean towered over him in height. But he didn’t stop moving. He had to get Jean off this court.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Tetsuji growled when they reached outer court. “Fucking disgraces, both of you. Shouldn’t even be on this fucking court-”

Nathaniel didn’t stay to listen to what else he had to say. He assisted Jean into the locker room. “I’ll come back for your stuff later,” he said. “Can I help you out of your gear?”

Jean was barely keeping conscious. Nathaniel had to ask again to get a response, and it was only a tired nod. It was a struggle getting Jean’s gear off quickly and safely. He didn’t want to irritate his injuries (which, yes, were much worse under his shirt) but he didn’t want to stay in the locker room for too long in case Tetsuji decided he wasn’t finished with them. He pried his eyes away from the slashes, black and blue bruising, and welts that covered Jean’s back and torso. Jean was only letting Nathaniel help him because he had no other option; if he was more awake, he wouldn’t approve of Nathaniel seeing what had happened at such close proximity. Nathaniel wasn’t going to cross his boundaries when he was so vulnerable.

Eventually, he was able to get Jean down into the dorms and into their room. Jean immediately collapsed on the bed and, once again, Nathaniel threw a blanket over him. He then looked over his roommate. 

Nathaniel had thought that, to fix the mess he made, he would have to stand in between Riko and Jean. Jean might never accept that, might never trust him again, but Nathaniel wouldn’t defend him so that one day he would possibly be accepted again. He would defend him because it was what he was supposed to be doing this entire time, and he couldn’t allow himself to fail Jean again.

Now, though, he realized that he could go one step further. There was something Nathaniel could do that would keep Jean out of Riko’s claws for good.

Jean had passed out, from pain or exhaustion or both, the moment he hit the bed. Nathaniel worried his bottom lip, looking at him for a moment longer before shaking himself off. He then turned and fumbled through the clothes he had left lying around, and didn’t stop until he found a small, crumpled up piece of paper from the pockets of his sweatpants. He read over what was written. The neat handwriting was an offer for a new beginning, just not for Nathaniel.

His fingers shook as he dialed the number. The girl on the other line picked up after the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Renee,” he said. “It’s Nathaniel, we need your help.”

\--

By that night, Jean was gone and in Renee’s car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a psych exam this wednesday and i spent my entire weekend playing animal crossing and finally finishing chapter 28 (dec 1 get ready) so i obvi have my priorities in order
> 
> also this fic is officially 30 chapters i have two chapters left to write and then the rest is just posting!!!
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	23. chapter twenty-two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of self harm

When Kevin left the Nest, Riko felt fear’s cold fingers grip his throat. He had lost his hold on the one person who was supposed to stick by his side. It was the first instance Riko felt on his kingdom crumbling; the King had fought back against someone he assumed to be a threat, but the wounded still managed to escape his oppressive rule. By smashing his hand, Riko took away from Kevin the one thing that would lead him to success. By having the number two tattooed on his face, Kevin was meant to be bound to Riko for life even if he couldn’t play, stuck in a life of watching his assailant succeed. By walking out, Kevin proved that Riko’s power over him might as well be nothing.

By losing Kevin, Riko lost his left hand man. Losing Jean, however, was different. Kevin and Jean were both Riko’s to own, but while Kevin was kept by Riko’s side, Jean was left as Riko’s lackey. Kevin leaving was a sign that the sons of Exy were falling apart, Jean leaving was a sign that Riko had no control left. And Riko loved to be in control.

Nathaniel wondered what it felt like to be Riko, to know that two of his Perfect Court had escaped from him, and he wasn’t even able to put up a fight against it. A man given relentless power and he couldn’t even carry it out enough to get people to stay.

Riko had been as violent about Jean as he was when Kevin left, except this time his violence looked more manic than livid. His hits were sloppier, easier to notice, and he left a mess that anyone in the Nest could see. For the first time, Nathaniel didn’t have Jean to pull him up off the ground when Riko struck wounds over healing ones, but for once, Nathaniel was able to help himself up. Nathaniel had to keep going, not only for himself, but for the people he was working with, and the one who shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place.

Jean was taken by Renee to Palmetto, where Kevin informed that he was staying with the team nurse, Abby Winfield. Nathaniel vaguely remembered her, and what he remembered was Andrew’s distrust in her. He hoped that that was just paranoia, and that she would actually be of help to Jean’s recovery.

He also hoped that the Foxes treated him better than the Ravens.

Upon Jean’s departure, the Board of Education found it suspicious how the Ravens had lost two top athletes in the span from April to November. The head of the board actually came to one of their practices and cut it off early, claiming that he needed to talk to Tetsuji about the state of some of his players. For a moment, Nathaniel believed it would all be over then. The state of the Nest would be revealed and Tetsuji would be removed as Coach and the downfall of the Ravens would happen much earlier than expected. However, when the Ravens met for night practice (with an additional hour because Tetsuji refused to let practices be shortened), Tetsuji carried it out like normal, and no one from the school came to search out the Nest.

Nathaniel wondered what Tetsuji said to the head director to get him to back down. Maybe Tetsuji brought up his connections, or threatened him. Or maybe he pulled out medical records to show that his athletes sometimes needed breaks for personal health reasons, and not because the Ravens were destroying them physically and mentally. Either way, the methods Tetsuji used were not moral.

Not long after Jean left, Edgar Allan University started their winter break. This, of course, meant nothing to the Ravens since they had never had an actual vacation while on the team. Tetsuji used the time that some coaches would give their team a week or two off to make his Ravens better. The practices were longer, and with scheduled games not picking back up until January, Tetsuji had no reason not to work them deeper than the bone.

Nathaniel had expected the winter practices to leave him of all distractions. The practices made his body ache more than usual, and he found himself sleeping for the hours that spanned in between morning and evening practices. However, despite how tired he was and how bruised his body became from the practices, what happened in Columbia never left his mind. He thought of Andrew, running to Columbia thinking he was about to confront his foster mother and instead came face to face with his abuser, who had now moved onto his brother. He thought of the jagged scars across his wrists, covered by armbands that he once claimed were only used to tell him and Aaron apart. He thought of Drake’s abuse and Luther Hemmick’s denial and how their actions was what forced Andrew into silence and suffering.

Nathaniel wondered what Andrew felt like, knowing that Drake was dead and Luther exposed. He hoped that Andrew felt some sort of relief, some sort of satisfaction that the two of them won’t hurt anyone else again; but with Andrew, he knew that more than hope was needed.

Nathaniel couldn’t find the courage to ask Andrew until they were alone after an evening practice. He had noticed Engle’s belongings constantly depleting from the room, most likely the gradual process of him leaving his room for Jenkins’. Their teammates seemed to be one of the first to realize something was going on with Nathaniel and Andrew, they realized it before Nathaniel did, and maybe they were trying to adjust their own way of living before the storm hit. Everyone knew that Riko liked his Perfect Court in a certain way, meaning that he wanted them to only devote time to him. Something that wasn’t quite a relationship but also wasn’t not a relationship wouldn’t be allowed, especially since Riko liked to pick and choose who they would sleep with.

In the back of Nathaniel’s mind, he doubted Riko’s obliviousness to the situation. Perhaps he knew, and was just waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Andrew was leaning back in his desk chair to the point of almost tipping over, and Nathaniel was standing in the middle of the room, silent. He could feel Andrew’s hazel eyes boring into him and only occasionally would Nathaniel meet them. It wasn’t that he was intimidated, it was that Andrew had a knack for answering questions in a way that didn’t actually answer them. Nathaniel wanted a real answer, but he didn’t know how to get it without being so blunt.

“I’m sure you didn’t come here to waste oxygen,” Andrew said.

Nathaniel nodded and worried his bottom lip. He dragged a hand through his hair and thought for a moment more. “After Columbia, are you o-”

  
“I know what you’re about to say,” Andrew cut him off and Nathaniel froze. “Don’t.”

There was barely a hesitation between Andrew’s answer and Nathaniel’s next words. “Then is Aaron?”

Andrew stared at him, and Nathaniel stared back. For a moment, Nathaniel thought he crossed the line. Aaron Minyard was a subject barely brought up before November, and Nathaniel now realized that bringing him up after was possibly worse. But he couldn’t stop the question from leaving his mouth. The Minyards were a complicated set of brothers, and he found himself curious about whether or not Andrew started to ask about him, and vice versa.

He was about to give up and take back his question when Andrew said, “Kevin told me that he’s seeing the school’s psychiatrist more. He wasn’t the one to make that choice.”

It was a short answer, but it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey what's up guys im jordie im 18 and i never fucking learned how to post chapters at a decent time
> 
> this chapter is also super short sorry my dudes
> 
> i like the next one tho
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	24. chapter twenty-three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so you know that song that goes "oh shit,,,,,,,,,, oH SHIT" ??? yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nsfw ahead

Nathaniel wasn’t worried for the Foxes. While the Ravens had lost two of their best players, causing a need for athletes out of the Perfect Court to step into Kevin and Jean’s place, the Foxes had a national champion and worked using Raven drills and tactics. By the time January rolled around, the Foxes had their place secured in the spring championships and were on their way to being in the death matches. With Kevin on their line and Nathaniel and Andrew motivating the Foxes from the outside, the Foxes increased their point gaps and wins.

The Ravens remained on top while the Foxes worked from the ground up. It was much easier to remain on top than to start from nothing; Nathaniel’s confidence in the Foxes was growing sturdier and sturdier.

The orange grew less obnoxious each time Nathaniel saw it on their TVs in the lounge.

What added glitter to gold, though, wasn't just the Foxes wins or knowing that Jean was in a better place; it was what happened on February 17th. Lord Kengo Moriyama was a powerful man with a tendency for violence and murder. He was the one who called Nathan Wesninski to his side to be The Butcher, the executioner for the Moriyamas. Lord Kengo was the man who was going to have Nathaniel killed because he didn't believe his lackeys’ positions should be passed down through family. The only reason Nathaniel was still alive today was because he proved he was good enough at Exy to be a Raven.

Lord Kengo Moriyama was also an old man, and with his age came sickness. Over the course of almost three months, more and more people who worked for the Moriyamas came into Evermore to discuss the depletion of their Lord’s health. They had to figure out what would happen when he finally died and his first son Ichirou took the family business.

On February 15th, that day finally came. February 17th was the funeral, and while Kengo’s brother Tetsuji was attending, his second and abandoned son Riko didn’t even receive an invite from his older brother. Nathaniel, being one of the many who hated Riko Moriyama along with his family, felt no pity for Riko and no grief for Lord Kengo. 

Riko, however, felt otherwise. Despite barely even knowing his brother, and his father for the matter, his hairpin trigger temper was more sensitive than usual. Nathaniel knew it wasn’t because his father was six foot under; being ignored by his own family was just another blow to his too-high pride. In the Nest, everyone was forced into treating Riko like their king because he was of a higher position of power; they might all be top Class I Exy players, but Riko was a son of Exy. He had more power in his little finger than they all did combined. The Moriyama family, however, had an immense amount of power that trampled Riko’s, and Riko was worth nothing to them. It was one of the few times Riko didn’t have people bowing down to him, and he was not enjoying it.

Nathaniel was glad that Jean wasn’t here to face what was going on. Despite his absence, Tetsuji still called for them to have a captain’s practice while they were gone, which meant that Riko was left in charge. They didn’t run any scrimmages since no one was there to referee, which meant that they practiced drills for a good two hours, Riko berating them and all. Nathaniel’s body was tired and he was tired of Riko. At the two hour mark, Riko ripped off his helmet to really begin ripping them apart.

“You’re all fucking worthless, everyone here. You all think you’re topshit because you’re a Raven? What a fucking joke, you won’t be anything on this team, in your pathetic lives, if you don’t step up and-”

Nathaniel had taken his own helmet off during his rant. He decided to speak up. “Do these insults apply to yourself?”

Nathaniel might as well have slapped the words out of Riko’s mouth. He fell silent and turned his eyes to Nathaniel, as did his team. Andrew in goal leaned on his stick, though Nathaniel could feel his eyes boring into him. “What?” Riko asked, too quietly. Nathaniel could hear the murder in his tone, but that didn’t stop his next words.

“I get it Riko, I get it,” he started. “You had a complicated relationship with your dad. No really, I do get it. My dad never called me on my birthday, either. I probably won't be invited to his funeral, too. It must suck to naturally get all this power from your family but now be forever unable to call up dad and be like,  _ "Hey dad! Guess whose life I just ruined today!" _ But, and now I’m just going out on a limb here, I don't care. You have done everything in your power -which is quite a lot since the good ole Moriyama family gives the most power to its pricks- to make our life here living hell, and now you want us to sit back and let you berate us more than usual because your dad kicked the bucket? No, we would have actually felt bad if you were, you know, not the scum of the earth, but, you know, things can’t always be as it should. So please, at this point, it would just be better if you carried out your temper tantrum by yourself and let us continue our practice in peace. Maybe finally make your dad proud by shutting the fuck up.” Nathaniel made a pointed pause. “Thanks.”

Nathaniel realized that saying these words to Riko Moriyama was about as suicidal as anything, but he wasn’t going to take them back, and he sure as fuck didn’t regret them.

If Riko was able to strangle him in front of everyone, he would have. However, he was held back by witnesses and the fact that the Ravens couldn’t suffer another close call, so he resided to punching Nathaniel across the jaw. Nathaniel had seen him bounding up to him, ripping his gloves off, but he didn’t bother trying to back away. Riko wouldn’t do anything more in front of a crowd, and if he tried to run, it would only be worse when Riko had him alone. 

The punch was strong enough to knock Nathaniel to his feet, and he thought about how Riko would have loved to do this the night Kevin premiered for the Foxes.

Riko loomed over Nathaniel, and Nathaniel’s jaw ached. Heat was blooming over his entire face, yet he managed to throw a savage grin onto his face. “You’ve been waiting to do that. Now, don’t we have a practice to continue?”

Riko scowled at him. He picked up Nathaniel’s helmet, which had fallen out of his hands on impact, and dropped it onto his gut. “Get the fuck up,” he said before pulling on his own.

Nathaniel pushed himself up. He pulled on his helmet and stood up, barely letting his body adjust to being knocked down so fast and then picked up at the same rate. His head hurt and he was exhausted, still he pushed himself on to finish the practice. He wasn’t going to give Riko the satisfaction of knocking him down.

When practice finally came to a close, Nathaniel was set on spending his day sleeping, or at least avoiding Riko until their practice that evening. He was about to enter his own room when he heard a voice behind him.

“Nathaniel.”

He turned to see Andrew standing in his own room’s doorway. Then, Nathaniel decided that he would rather spend the day with Andrew than alone in a room too big for one.

Andrew shut the door behind them and turned to stare at Nathaniel. Nathaniel sat on his bed and stared up at him. Andrew silently followed him and sat down besides him.

“Are you going to continue being an idiot and running into Riko’s fist?” Andrew asked.

“Probably,” Nathaniel said with a shrug. “He says so much bullshit, someone has to call him out for it.”

Andrew shook his head. “You’re an idiot.”

Nathaniel smirked. “You like me, though.”

“We’ve been over this before, I hate you,” Andrew said. Nathaniel didn’t believe him. Still, Nathaniel played into it.

“Of course you do, you obviously hate me so much.”

“One-hundred-and-eight percent, Nathaniel,” Andrew said.

Nathaniel’s gaze on Andrew softened. Each time the percentage increased, the percentage that Nathaniel didn’t believe measured hatred, warmth spread more and more in his chest. He enjoyed the presence of Andrew, enjoyed how easy all of this came and how he could just  _ be _ with Andrew around.

“Staring,” Andrew muttered, though Nathaniel didn’t miss Andrew’s eyes scanning his jaw where bruising and swelling had most likely began to occur. He jutted his chin out to Andrew, and Andrew only waited a moment before gently taking his chin in his hand. He tilted Nathaniel’s head, observing the damage done, and gently probed at the swelling.

Nathaniel wanted to make a joke of Andrew, who claimed to hate Nathaniel, offering so much attention to his barely-there injury, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He wanted to remember this, remember Andrew with something that wasn’t quite softness in his eyes but something close enough.

Nathaniel hadn’t realized how close their faces had gotten until he was staring right into Andrew’s eyes. Andrew’s eyes flicked from Nathaniel’s own to his lips. “Yes or no?” Andrew asked, his voice barely filling the room.

“Yes,” Nathaniel said without hesitation. He’s never been more comfortable than with Andrew.

Andrew pressed his lips to Nathaniel’s. His hand still cupped Nathaniel’s jaw and warmth radiated through Nathaniel’s body. Everything he felt for Andrew ran through his veins and ignited his heart. With Andrew’s lips on his own, he never felt more at peace and more alive. He was more with Andrew, more than just a number or an Exy player. When he was with Andrew, he was Nathaniel Wesninski, he didn’t have to hide behind a three or a helmet, and that meant more to Nathaniel than he could ever think about saying.

Nathaniel fidgeted with his hands, wanting to find something to do with them but not wanting to cross any boundaries. He wanted to hold onto Andrew, hold onto him like he would be the last joy Nathaniel would ever have, but all he allowed himself were fingers reaching but never making contact. Andrew must have noticed his yearning, for he took his hand away from Nathaniel’s face and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands to his hair. Nathaniel wasted no time in fisting his hands in Andrew’s hair, finding comfort in the touch. 

At one point Nathaniel’s kisses started to stray from Andrew’s lips, but the moment they touched his jaw he pulled away slightly. “Is this okay?” he asked lowly.

“Keep going,” Andrew said, his voice gruffer than Nathaniel expected. Still, Nathaniel nodded and continued to kiss down Andrew’s jaw and to his neck. Andrew’s hands balled in the front of his shirt as Nathaniel restrained himself from leaving marks along Andrew’s neck. When he made his way back up to Andrew’s lips, Andrew’s hands started to inch downwards but paused at the hem of Nathaniel’s sweatpants.

“Yes,” Nathaniel breathed out the answer to the unspoken question against Andrew’s lips. Andrew’s one hand clamped itself behind Nathaniel’s neck as the other reached under his sweats and boxers. Nathaniel gasped at the touch and his fingers tightened in Andrew’s hair. Nathaniel’s breathing was coming in quick breaths and he felt hot under Andrew’s touch. His pulse was flying so fast that he wondered if Andrew could hear it.

When Nathaniel came to completion, it was in heavy breathing and words tumbling out of his lips that sounded a lot like _ Andrew _ . His eyes were clamped shut and his hands clutching Andrew’s hair. It took a moment for his heartrate to straighten out, and when it did, he finally opened his eyes and his blue met Andrew’s hazel.

“Go back to your room,” Andrew said.

“But- you-” Nathaniel’s eyes flicked downwards.

“I can take care of it,” he said. “Leave.”

Nathaniel nodded and managed to stumble out of Andrew’s room and into his own. His legs felt wobbly with the thought of Andrew and he laid on his bed, motionless, for a couple of minutes before finally moving to get changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u know im pretty sure i've started off like half of these end notes with "hey guys what's up im jordie im 18 and _______" so might as well make it a trend bc that vine is a #classic
> 
> hey guys what's up im jordie im 18 and i fucking hate riko so i hope we all enjoyed nathaniel wesninski's drag of 2k17 1 kudos=1 punch to riko 
> 
> im so tired happy monday
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	25. chapter twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tragic: causing or characterized by extreme distress or sorrow

Ever since Kevin began his time as a Fox on the starting line, the Ravens made it a habit of watching their games. Riko was the one who enforced that. Their teammates believed that it was so Riko could laugh at Kevin’s misfortune; Kevin left the best Class I Exy team for the last place Foxes, what was there that Riko couldn’t laugh at? Nathaniel, however, knew it was because Riko was paranoid. Kevin was always a threat to Riko, but before the Foxes, Kevin was a threat that Riko believed he could beat down. Now, with Kevin as an opponent, and an opponent who was drastically improving a team meant to amount to nothing, Kevin was a danger to Riko. 

Riko became obsessive when watching the Foxes’ games. He kept note of every win and loss, the length of each point gap, which team they were playing and how they had fared against the Ravens. With each game that the Foxes won, and with that each large point gap, Riko grew less and less happy with his results.

With the Foxes winning game against Binghamton, Riko’s nerves were through the roof. He was past the point of a violent outbreak; at this stage, everything was internalized. His hands were clenched on the arms of his chair, his knuckles white. His eyes stared blankly at the screen as their teammates chattered around him in the lounge. Maybe they were nervous, too, but didn’t want to let on; maybe they didn’t see Kevin as a threat yet. Either way, Riko was panicking because championships were getting very close and the Foxes were going to be in the death matches. With the path they seemed to be going on, they might be able to get past Penn State. The Trojans could be the ones that stop them, but even that was too close for Riko’s liking.

Attention was brought back to the screen when none other than Kevin Day came back on it. He was the one who the reporters decided to interview that night. He was sweaty, with some pieces of hair clinging to his forehead. His green eyes shone with victory, and he flashed an award winning grin at the camera. The two on his cheek stared at them all, showing where he had come from, and where he was now.

“Kevin, what an amazing game the Foxes played tonight!” the reporter beamed, happiness obvious on her face at being able to interview Kevin Day.

“Thank you,” Kevin grinned, swooping his hair out of his face. “We’ve all worked really hard for this game.”

“Talk about working hard!” she exclaimed. “Look at you! Last year, no one thought you would ever step onto a court again. Now, here you are, right-handed, and picking up speed with the Foxes, who finally seem to really deserve their Class I rank. It seems that you’ve really been pushing your fellow teammates.”

“Actually, we all push each other. You see, while I definitely push the Foxes to be better, they push me, too, not just with their own drills, but with stamina in a game. The Foxes are really big on endurance training. Coach Wymack really emphasizes on it considering how few of us there are, some of us are out here playing full games with no subs. So, yeah, when I got here I was getting good training in. Not only was I coming off of not being able to play for months, but I also hadn’t gone on long runs in forever. Years ago, before we were even on the Ravens, Riko and I would go running around campus. But once we were official Ravens and had night practices, we haven’t done it since. We had no time, we would spend our time on the court before we would even think of going running. The Foxes and Coach Wymack really helped me get back to where I needed to be, I’m so thankful to be able to play again.” 

The reporter wouldn’t realize what Kevin had said, and how it didn’t match up. She would realize it when she went over tapes, or had someone write an article about Kevin bouncing back from a hit and run that happened while Riko and Kevin were on their usual late nights runs. While she was talking about it, or someone was writing about it, they would realize the discrepancy in that story when they noticed that Kevin said very clearly that he and Riko hadn’t ran together in years. 

At that moment, though, she just nodded along with a grin on her face. Captain Danielle Wilds came into view, but Nathaniel didn’t catch what she was asked. All eyes were on Riko, because while the reporter wouldn’t catch the discrepancy, it was all the Ravens noticed. They were told by Riko himself that something terrible had happened to Kevin, by Tetsuji that Kevin was struck by a car while they were on their usual run. Yet, Kevin himself, the injured party, blew that truth out of the water in just a couple sentences.

“Didn’t you say that you and Kevin would go on runs all the time?” Jenkins asked.

“He doesn’t know what he’s saying,” Riko managed out, his eyes locked on the TV.

“He seemed very confident in what he had to say,” Andrew unexpectedly said from besides Nathaniel.

“Shut up!” Riko shouted, and Nathaniel didn’t miss some of their teammates flinching. He wondered if Riko felt his own validity crumbling to pieces. Riko looked over at where Nathaniel and Andrew were sitting, except his eyes weren’t on Andrew. He was staring directly at Nathaniel. Riko didn’t know that Andrew knew everything, he didn’t know that Nathaniel and Andrew were constantly speaking with Kevin; Riko thought that everything that really happened with Kevin was just a secret between him and Nathaniel. He was waiting for Nathaniel to say something, to say anything that would give up Riko’s crumbling alibi. It was a threat; if Nathaniel said one wrong thing, Riko would kill him. Riko wanted to see if Nathaniel was smart enough to stay quiet.

Nathaniel had an attitude problem, but luckily for him, he knew when to save his remarks for a later date when they would be more beneficial. To reveal the truth now would give Riko an opening to destroy Nathaniel; Nathaniel was smarter than that.

Nathaniel met Riko’s eyes and said nothing. For right now, he would leave Riko the satisfaction of thinking that he scared Nathaniel into silence. He would let Riko try to convince his teammates that Kevin was delusional, because inevitably he would fail. 

The lie that had been formed was finally being broken apart. The end never looked so clear and bright.

\--

In the morning, Tetsuji was forced to call off another practice. Instead of practicing, the Ravens were corralled into their lounge. Nathaniel was sitting on one of the loveseats with Andrew at his side. Riko was alert, sitting tense on one of the recliners. The rest of the athletes were groggy with sleep, but anyone with a mind could see what was happening. 

The door from above swung open, and all heads turned to the staircase. Down walked Edgar Allan’s Director of the Board of Education and the Athletics’ Director. After them came Tetsuji; he looked emotionless, though Nathaniel had a feeling it was just a facade. Even he had to know what was coming for them.

The Education Director stared down the athletes. “After the departure of two of your athletes, one with severe injuries, one in need of ‘time away’, we grew suspicious. We planned to have done this already, but we were told it would have been of no use,” he said, sliding a look to Tetsuji. “Now, though, it either seems that it was of use, or one of your top athletes doesn’t know how he broke his hand. We have a warrant from the board to search through your dormitories-” He held up a piece of paper. In his other hand were black garbage bags. “-You all will stay here as we do so, and no one is permitted to take anything from their dorm or leave.” He paused. “This team is in hot water right now. Even if all of you are confident in that nothing incriminating is in these dorms, it would bode best for all of you to listen and comply.”

Nathaniel hoped that they would see Riko as incriminating evidence, but he didn’t know if they could remove a person and take him to the Board of Education for inspection.

The Athletics’ Director looked over the athletes in front of him, and his eyes came to a stop at Nathaniel. It had only been a few days since Riko hit him, and the bruise on his jaw was an unmissable, ugly green. The Director didn’t say anything, but Nathaniel imagined that he would take note of that.

Both directors waited a moment longer, a dare to see if any of the athletes would disapprove. When they were satisfied with no one’s response, they headed down the hall that led to the red dormitories. They were the dorms for the athletes with two digit numbers; the ones suspected to leave no impact on the Exy world. They weren’t the reasons for the Directors being down in the Nest, but maybe the two of them hadn’t heard about their corrupt captain.

It wasn’t long until the Directors came back to the lounge. The bags in their hands looked empty, perhaps one or two items that were prohibited thrown in, but nothing major. Nathaniel didn’t expect them to find anything there in the first place. The black dormitories would grant them much more success in their search. The single digit players were the ones expected to yield success, five (now three) of which were expected to be stars in the Exy world, three of which were expected to earn the Moriyamas money, one of which was a Moriyama. The Directors would have fun in that wing.

Nathaniel believed some bloodstained clothes were still tossed in a pile somewhere in his room. Laundry was such a hassle sometimes.

Nathaniel also knew that Riko had knives somewhere in his room, along with who knows what else, and that Kevin’s belongings were still in their shared room. 

The Ravens watched as they entered the black wing. Nathaniel shifted his eyes to Riko, who was staring blankly down the hall. The tension in the room seemed to shift from bad to worse. Just twenty-four hours before, the Ravens who were not Perfect Court hadn’t expected anything. They believed that Kevin broke his hand in a hit-and-run. They knew Riko was violent but they didn’t know the extent of it. Nathaniel found himself wondering if they knew what he did to Jean. He wasn’t going to ask to find out. 

But now, everything had changed. Kevin had revealed that perhaps Tetsuji -who was standing perfectly still, watching over his team- and Riko had lied about what happened to him. Their rooms were being searched for evidence that the Ravens were a corrupt team, and how it was to be found in their captain’s room. Nathaniel always knew the corruption in the Ravens and how it tiered down from the Moriyamas, and he saw how blind they all were to it when they all believed Tetsuji’s words with no question, but now they couldn’t trust who they were forced to.

In this room, everyone’s lives were being flipped around. The rest of the Ravens couldn’t be blind, or play blind, any longer. Their team was at stake, and if Nathaniel knew any of these people, they either played Exy or they died. There was no way they could turn away from the corruption and the violence when there was a chance they would lose their only way of breathing easy.

What a tragic life these Ravens lived.

A couple minutes passed and the directors came back. Their bags were significantly more filled. The Athletics’ Director sweeped a cool gaze over everyone in the room before landing on Tetsuji. “We need to speak with you about some of the… belongings your athletes had, specifically in that room at the end.”

The room at the end was Riko’s.

Tetsuji nodded once. He followed them up the stairs.

When the door swung close, eyes shifted from one to another but, in the end, they fell upon their captain. Nathaniel turned to Riko and opened his mouth. The words he said next could have been borderline suicidal if Riko wasn’t under such heavy scrutiny. His next words told Riko that he had no secrets any longer; everything that he had done was bound to be brought to surface:

“Careful Riko, everyone’s watching.”

Riko said nothing, but he did tense his jaw. Out of his peripheral vision, Nathaniel saw Andrew give the smallests of nods to Riko. 

It was enough to show that this secret between Riko and Nathaniel was never really between them at all. It was a sign that Riko was never as subtle as he hoped.

Nathaniel wondered if Riko’s stomach flipped at his fall from grace, or if it fell freely because, in the back of his mind, he knew everything would come crashing down at one point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!! im so sorry that i had to postpone today's chapter, i was had classes and then a swim meet and was out from 8am to 11pm last night and passed out the moment i got in
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	26. chapter twenty-five

The Directors forced Tetsuji into conferences for the rest of the day, and they took it upon themselves to cancel the Ravens’ evening practice, too. They said that they would return tomorrow with news about the fate of the Ravens, and only then could their practices continue as normal. Or however normal they could be after what had just happened.

But, with the newfound freedom of a day of no practices, no coach, and Riko locking himself in his own room, Nathaniel and Andrew found their way to the locker room.

“At least Riko won’t be able to knife us in our sleep,” Nathaniel, who was leaning against one of the lockers, said. “I still might barricade my door with a chair, though.”

Andrew, sitting next to him, nodded. “If Riko was smart, he wouldn’t try anything,” he said. “One wrong move and not only is he finished, but this team is.” He paused. “Fortunately, he’s not that smart.”

“You think we’re not finished after today?” Nathaniel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A Division I school won’t get rid of their Class I National Champion Exy team in the middle of the season,” Andrew said. “If anything, consequences will be faced after Spring.”

Nathaniel nodded, looking at the lockers across from him. “I feel like this is everything that we have been waiting for,” he said. “People are finally finding out what goes on down here, Riko and Tetsuji are going to face long-needed consequences, Kevin is back on the court and doing well.” He sighed. “And yet nothing feels, well…  _ good _ .”

“It’s because our work isn’t done,” Andrew replied. “A couple months ago, we just wanted this team to be over. But now, Riko has done his best to try to destroy all three of us, taking down Jean in the process. We’re not finished until Riko is out of the picture.”

Andrew didn’t have to say what he meant by that. They both knew the implications of getting on the wrong side of the Moriyamas.

“He’s scared,” Nathaniel said. “And with fear comes desperation. We have to get to him before he gets us. He’s losing the things that he thought were his and his only, and he’s not going to quit peacefully.” He paused, worrying his bottom lip. “We Ravens play like we have nothing else to live for, because, being honest, do we? Before all this-” he waved his hand in a weak gesture “-Before  _ you _ , I just wanted to get out alive, in one piece or not. But now, I want to get out and have a  _ life _ . We’re all going to be fighting to keep breathing, but we just have to fight harder than Riko. I’m willing to take him down single handedly if it means getting out of here with you.”

“I’m not your reason to live,” Andrew said.

“Maybe not, but you’re my reason to get out of here. If I was trying to do this alone, I would have given up already,” Nathaniel replied.

“You’re already alone,” Andrew said, looking ahead of him. “There is nothing between us, and you’re nothing.”

“Then being nothing, sitting next to you, is enough.” Andrew looked at him from the corner of his eye and Nathaniel gave him a small smile.

“Don’t look at me like that, idiot,” Andrew said and Nathaniel didn’t believe his harshness. “This conversation might make me vomit, so I have a question.”

“Ask away.”

“What was life like here before?” Andrew asked.

“Before we became actual Ravens?” Nathaniel said. “Well, when we were kids we were… not normal kids, because I don’t think any child would be considered normal after being either sold by their fathers or raised by a mafia, but we tried to live as kids would. Riko, if I’m remembering correctly, actually wasn’t an asshole when he was, like, seven, because I don’t really know if a seven year old, or someone around that age, could understand immeasurable power. We were all just... friends?” He paused, thinking back on the life that didn’t even look like it was once his. “It was different before Jean got here. Jean got here when he was about nine. Before that, it was obviously just me, Kevin, and Riko, and, actually, we were friends. We didn’t understand the differences in our upbringings and our futures. We were just kids who ran through the Nest -yes we lived in the same rooms we do now- and did as many Exy drills as a kid could handle. We even all drew the respective one, two, and three on each other each day with marker.

“But then Jean came here, and suddenly there were lines drawn. We were basically split into two groups: Kevin and Riko, and Jean and I, which is no surprise. Kevin and Riko were ten, we were nine, and I guess ten is the age a child can understand what power they wield over people? Or perhaps Tetsuji broke the news to Riko that he owned all three of us, but was expected to succeed with Kevin. We all practiced together, except Riko started to make it very clear that he and Kevin were the pivotal ones. He became a lot more controlling, dictating what we all did. We all never left each other's side really, but suddenly Riko could do without myself and Jean as long as he had Kevin there. Guess he realized then that only few people were necessary for his life. The rest were just temporary, a means to an end.

“He hit me for the first time when I was ten. We were having a four person scrimmage. Riko with myself as a backliner, Kevin with Jean, with clear shots on goal for each side. It meant nothing, Tetsuji wasn’t even watching it, but Riko still wanted to win.” Nathaniel huffed out a laugh. “He didn’t. I guess that was a precursor to now. But anyways, Riko blamed me for not stopping Kevin, and in the middle of court he hit me in the face and knocked me to the floor. I remember it not hurting too bad, but I was still shocked nonetheless.” He sighed. “That shock soon faded, because that was the start of Riko’s violence towards myself and Jean, except it grew worse and more painful each time. Riko realized the true power he had over us, and the fact that Tetsuji wouldn’t stop him unless it would be too public. Riko was able to hold onto that small sliver of control until April.” He ran a hand through his hair and lightly tugged at it. “So, yeah, that’s what life was before we were actual Ravens.”

Andrew nodded slowly. “Even back then, you never thought of hitting him back.”

It wasn’t a question.

“I didn’t,” Nathaniel said. “For the first few times, I was too shocked. Then, I knew it would be better if I just took it instead of fighting back.”

Andrew nodded again.

“Well,” Nathaniel said. “Now I have a question.”

“Of course you do.”

“Why do you hate the world ‘please’ so much?” It was a sudden topic change, but it was something he had been thinking about since Andrew said he hated the word.

“He told me that if I said it, he would stop,” Andrew’s answer came so naturally and so tonelessly that Nathaniel blinked as his mind put together pieces.

“You made yourself hate it,” he said, his voice only allowing quietness.

“I did,” Andrew said. “I believed him, I was seven, I said it a lot.”

“Oh,” was all that left Nathaniel’s mouth. He could feel guilt and discomfort creeping up his spine.

“You asked,” Andrew said, shooting him a look. “Don’t act sorry about it.”

Nathaniel decided to change subjects. “I have another question.”

“You’re pushing your limits, Wesninski.” A pause. “What is it?”

“What were you like before here?” He asked. “You were on meds.”

“I was,” Andrew said. “Also, living with Nicky and Aaron in Columbia.”

“I feel like there’s more to that answer,” Nathaniel said, most definitely pushing it.

“The meds weren’t the right ones,” Andrew said, taking the conversation to a different place than Nathaniel expected. “No one saw, and I didn’t care.”

Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean the meds weren’t right?”

“Meaning that they weren’t the right meds for me,” Andrew said. “I almost killed the four men that attacked Nicky outside of a club. Instead of going to jail, I was put on court mandated medication. I know you’re smart enough to know that drugs that make someone who committed an act of violence more erratic and violent aren’t the right meds.”

“And you didn’t tell anybody.”

“I didn’t care,” Andrew repeated, not pointing out that Nathaniel made him repeat himself. “I didn’t care about myself and I didn’t care what people thought of me. No one noticed, so I didn’t say anything.”

Nathaniel thought of the people Andrew saw while he was medicated. He was in his senior year of highschool, seeing peers and teachers every day. He lived with his cousin and his brother, who both had met him before he was on meds. And yet, no one had bothered to notice that Andrew’s medication wasn’t working for him. 

“We’re done with this conversation,” Andrew said, a warning from him to not push anymore. Nathaniel nodded and turned his gaze from Andrew to the black lockers in front of him.

An hour after they returned to the Nest, the Directors came back into the lounge to inform that no major decisions would be made until their season ended, but that they were standing on ice so thin it was ready to crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! :D
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	27. chapter twenty-six

The Ravens had always been a popular team. It was inevitable; their coach was one of the founders of Exy, and they were the leading team in the country since the sport began. Naturally, reporters would flock to them the moment their game ended. 

Without surprise, the Ravens had won their current game, and were now in the process of shuffling off the court. The investigation in the Nest had been revealed to the public, and the team was advised to stay away from reporters. Questioning fans were one thing, a thing that could be dealt with or ignored. Reporters, however, knew what bricks in the wall were loose, and knew exactly what to say to get the outer castle walls to start tumbling down.

Luckily for the reporters, Nathaniel was never good at listening, not the mention the fact that he had a very big mouth and an even bigger attitude problem.

He didn’t quite remember how he got torn away from his team. Thinking back on it, he actually thought a reporter grabbed his arm for an interview. Before he could even think of walking away, his team disappeared through the door of their locker room and a microphone and camera were shoved in his face. Nathaniel could recognize a possible opportunity looking him in the face. Any reporter would be stupid to not bring up the most recent events involving the Ravens.

“Nathaniel Wesninski, Christi Conolley, what an amazing game! Another win for the Ravens!” the reporter said, obviously trying to warm him up to her.

“Of course we won,” Nathaniel said, flashing a cocky grin. “That team didn’t stand a chance.”

“You know, I really respect your unwavering confidence,” she said, smiling ear to ear. “Even in the face of all this-” she waved her hand as if she could summarize the shit that had been happening in the air “-You still keep going because you know you can.”

“Yeah, well,” Nathaniel said and flicked his hair, damp with sweat, out of his eye. “In a time like this, we can’t just give up. A lot of things are happening right now. Many decisions are still up in the air, but they could come down and crush us at any moment. We all just know that we need to keep fighting, no matter how hard and painful things can get. And with this team, things definitely get painful, but this is the life we have, and we’re not going to let any team think they can get the best of us just because we’re in a rough state.” He paused. “I am happy Kevin got out, though.”

The reporter furrowed her eyebrows, feigning confusion. Nathaniel didn’t miss the eagerness in her eyes; she was getting what she wanted. “ ‘Got out’? What do you mean?”

“It’s all very complicated, as you can expect,” Nathaniel said. “Basically… the Ravens were holding Kevin back. I know, shocker, right? How could a team like the Ravens, founded by a close friend of his mother, hold him back? It’s actually quite simple. On the Ravens, Kevin wasn’t allowed to be the best. Despite Kevin’s skill in Exy, he was never allowed to show his true potential on court. He always had to hold himself back, get the lesser stats of our two strikers.”

The reporter blinked at him. She was getting what she wanted, but before this, she hadn’t realized this was what she would be getting. “Are you saying that your Coach told Kevin to back off during games?”

Nathaniel shook his head. “Coach Tetsuji saw it, too. He actually grew curious, like every other person in the world. So, no, it wasn’t our Coach. It was Riko.” The reporters eyebrows shot up. “Riko knew that, out of him and Kevin, he was the lesser of the two. Kevin had the ability to dominate the court, and that scared Riko. So, Riko held him back and didn’t let him flourish like he was meant to on the Ravens. He feared that the world would realize his true worth when he, the ‘son of Exy’ with the one tattooed on his face, was actually second in ranking. With the attempt to get Kevin out of the picture, Riko almost had what he wanted and kept his wrongly given first in ranking all to himself. But then, in true stubborn Kevin Day fashion, he returns from nothing on the Foxhole Court. And I know for a fact that he’s doing fine there.”

The reporter gaped at him. He had given her so much material in such a short time that she couldn’t even focus on what to follow that up with. After a moment, she regained her composure and zoomed in on what Nathaniel said last. “How do you know Kevin is doing alright on the Foxes? You must see their games, I cannot imagine that you wouldn’t watch them. But that’s just what he puts on the court, things could be very different in their dormitories.”

“Well, of course I know.” Nathaniel gave her a devil’s grin that he knew the world would see as charming. “He tells me.”

“He- he  _ tells _ you,” she exclaimed. “Are you saying that you actively talk to your past teammate, Kevin Day? And you mentioned an attempt to get Kevin out, is that related to what Kevin said a couple days ago?”

“I’m really sorry, but I have to get into the locker room,” Nathaniel said, ignoring her follow up questions as he turned over his shoulder. “My team will start to miss me if I stay away for too long.”

He could hear the reporter throw more questions at his back, but he didn’t spare a glance over his shoulder as he pushed open the door and headed into the locker room. The Ravens were still getting changed out, and conversation was happening, though not loud or interesting enough to tear attention away from Nathaniel entering late.

Riko stared at him as he approached his locker. Nathaniel didn’t say anything to him, instead unlocking his lock and pulling his shirt off.

“Where were you?” Riko asked. Nathaniel could hear it in his tone; he was ready for a fight.

“I took a detour.”

“Don’t lie to-” Riko started, the anger already rising in his tone. Nathaniel was having none of it.

“Is this something you really want to start, Riko?” Nathaniel asked, finally turning to him. He cocked his head to the side in mock-question. “You heard the Directors, didn’t you? One step out of line, and you drag us all down.”

It was the first time Nathaniel was ever able to get Riko to shut the fuck up  _ and  _ not beat him to shit. It was quite the memorable moment.

It wasn’t long until Riko slammed his locker shut and stormed out. Despite not being able to wail on Nathaniel, he was still seething. Perhaps, though, even he was smart enough to realize that he has limitations, and that those limits were being reached.

Once he left, Andrew looked over to him. “What did you do?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Just took a detour, had a little chat,” Nathaniel said cheerily with a shrug.

“You’re an idiot,” Andrew said, closing his locker. “I clearly recall telling you word for word to stop running yourself into Riko’s fist.”

“But I didn’t,” he replied. “Riko never raised his fist.”

“You’re an idiot, and you’re going to get your ass kicked,” Andrew said.

Nathaniel beamed. “Good thing I have you by my side.”

“No one is by your side, and I hate you,” Andrew glared.

“Of course you do,” Nathaniel said.

Nathaniel ended up following Andrew out of the locker room, though they went their separate ways after that. The Ravens normally assembled in their lounge to watch the after-game panels and interviews, but Nathaniel had a feeling that he wouldn’t want to be around to see that aftermath. He knew the looks on his teammates’ faces would be priceless, but he was positive Riko would gouge his eyes out before he could get a good look.

Ten minutes into sitting on his bed, he heard footsteps pound down the hall and had a good feeling Riko saw the news. Another second passed and then his door swung open so hard he was sure it smashed into the wall.

“You son of a bitch,” Riko shouted, barrelling towards him.

“Riko, did you catch the news?” Nathaniel asked, standing. “Figured it was something you would like.”

“Is this some sort of fucking game to you? Oh, you have made the biggest fucking mistake-” Riko didn’t even finish his sentence before bringing his fist back.

Nathaniel braced himself for the hit, preparing to feel pain burn across his face, but at the last second, something inside him snapped.

Nathaniel’s fist rammed against Riko’s jaw. Riko had a couple inches on Nathaniel, but Riko was expecting to fight, not to be fought; the hit caught him off guard and sent him sprawling to the floor.  Right as he smacked against it, Nathaniel grabbed his collar and dropped to a knee, dragging Riko up to see eye-to-eye.

“Scared, Riko?” Nathaniel asked, grinning.

“Not as scared as you should be,” Riko hissed, the side of his face blooming with red and a trickle of blood coming out of the corner of his mouth. “You said it yourself, I go down, you all go down with me.”

“Yes, except one of us will go down with charges of assault, battery, and abuse,” Nathaniel said. “Here’s a hint, it isn’t me. So, do you really want to do this? Do you want to hurt another of your Perfect Court when cameras are on us all the time? Everyone is onto you, Riko. Be smart.”

“Get the fuck off of me.” Riko was seething, and it was because he knew Nathaniel was right.

Nathaniel threw him back down and stood up. “Now, if you’d excuse yourself, I would like to continue my night in peace.” A pause. “Thanks.”

When Riko slammed the door shut, Nathaniel saw that the doorknob had left a mark in his wall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I FORGOT TO DO YESTERDAY: POST THIS
> 
> SORRY I WAS GETTING #LIT WITH MY FRIENDS
> 
> just kidding i was sober off of the natural high of life ((((((:
> 
> ALSO WHO'S EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER??? I AM
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	28. the infamous chapter twenty-seven

Nathaniel Wesninski, despite being a Wesninski, did not belong to Nathan Wesninski. Ten years ago, Nathaniel Wesninski was sold to the Moriyamas in order to keep his life. His Exy skills were what kept him alive; if he had no skills, he would have died at the edge of his father’s cleaver.

However, Nathaniel Wesninski, despite being property of the Moriyama’s, did not lose his connections from Nathan Wesninski. His father, while being the executioner for former Lord Kengo Moriyama, had a small inner circle consisting of the only three people he trusted: Lola and Romero Malcolm, and Jackson Plank. Before Nathaniel left for the Ravens, he remembered the three of them inhabiting his house so much he was convinced they lived there. The Wesninskis had lived in a house in Baltimore with a cellar under it so that Nathan Wesninski and his lackeys could do their work with no fear of someone looking through a window and seeing a cleaver being brought down on someone. Or an axe, if you were Romero.

He had been forced to remember their numbers when he was younger. It wasn’t so that he could call in an emergency, it was more so that he could deny those numbers when cops came around or people started asking too many questions. It was Nathaniel’s job to inform his father when people came too close, and then Nathan Wesninski would take care of them.

Years of constantly repeating the numbers to himself, and years of scarring if his father thought he came too close to slipping up, had ingrained the numbers in his mind. With time, he forgot which number belonged to which lackey, but names didn’t matter when you were dealing with three killers and their lead executioner. 

Nathaniel stared at his phone screen. 443 stared back at him. The Baltimore area code. His chest ached with hope that perhaps it was a wrong number. Many people lived in Baltimore; there were many opportunities to text a wrong number. The number was the same as he remembered, and he wanted to believe that they would have burner phones, or at least change their numbers on a constant basis. But then again, if they were smart enough to get away with murder and torture, they were smart enough to avoid number tracking.

He opened the text message and wanted to vomit at the words he read.

**haven’t seen you in a while. so excited to catch up. see you in a week, junior :) -L**

Nathaniel blinked, thinking that perhaps the words would fade away upon opening his eyes. 

Lola Malcolm’s confidence shook him to the core. There could only be one reason that Lola was so confident that she would willingly reveal her identity. And there could only be one reason why she would be seeing Nathaniel in a week. It meant that not only was Lola after him, but Nathan Wesninski and his band of followers were, and that it was set up by none other than Lord Ichirou Moriyama. When Lord Kengo died, all of his connections and people were passed down to his first son. That meant that Lord Ichirou gained control over Nathan Wesninski, and could decide what he did with them.

This also meant that Lord Ichirou was finally finished having Nathaniel Wesninki tied to the Moriyamas. When the Moriyamas were finished with someone, they didn’t kick them out the door; they put them six feet under.

Nathaniel wondered what finally did it for Lord Ichirou. Was he watching the news, seeing what Nathaniel had been doing and believing that he was becoming too much baggage? Did he never trust taking in Nathaniel from the beginning and knew that he would kill him the moment he gained power?

There were times in Nathaniel’s life when he thought his father would kill him, or that mercy would take pity on him and end it all in a move of kindness, or maybe Riko would one day hit him just too hard and it would all be over. But, in all this time, he hadn’t thought about a true Moriyama being the one to remove him from this Earth.

He wanted to be scared, he wanted to be angry, he wanted to  _ feel _ . He wanted to feel something other than the twist in his gut that he should have been expecting this all along.

\--

When dealing with Riko Moriyama, it suited well to work in pairs. Nathaniel and Andrew had worked well together against Riko because they knew that, together, they could handle him. Take away Riko’s power, and he was just a petulant child

To deal with Nathan Wesninski, however, was different. One could survive Riko Moriyama, one could even survive Lord Ichirou Moriyama if they made the right deal. By the time Nathan Wesninski was sent after you, however, it was too late. There was already a tombstone made for you, and to pair up just meant that you were dragging an undeserving person down with you.

Nathaniel wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he died knowing he brought Andrew down with him. Heaven, Hell, wherever he was going, he believed that Andrew deserved a better death and the opportunity to live beyond Nathaniel. 

With Andrew, though, he wouldn’t let Nathaniel walk towards his death knowingly. Not while they had their alliance, not while they had each other’s backs.

He knew what he had to do. He didn’t know if he could be happy with it, but he would learn to live with it if it meant that Andrew was alive.

After practice that night, Nathaniel found himself in Andrew’s dorm. With each breath he took in, he felt his chest burn and his throat tighten. Andrew has been the person that changed Nathaniel from wanting to survive to wanting to live, and now he had to destroy that so that Andrew could live after Nathaniel died. The air felt tainted and it  _ burned _ .

“We need to talk,” Nathaniel said.

“How ominous,” Andrew replied.

“You made a promise to me that you would have my back during all of this,” Nathaniel said.

“I remember.”

“I need you to break it.”

“No,” Andrew’s reply was immediate.

“You saw how Riko reacted after I spoke to the press,” Nathaniel said. He hoped this would be enough to persuade Andrew. He didn’t want to bring him into Nathan Wesninski’s business. “Shit is going to go down. We’ve said it ourselves: Riko is desperate. He is going to do anything to keep his reign going. I don’t want you to get dragged down with me.”

“A martyr, how charming.” Andrew was more annoyed than charmed. “Not one that I recall asking for, though.”

“I’m serious, Andrew.”

“So am I,” Andrew said. “I’m not the one who breaks promises.”

“It’s not a betrayal if I ask for it,” Nathaniel said. “Riko would go for me before he went for you. I don’t want you getting hurt, or worse, because you tried to fight him off on the wrong day. We both knew from the start that things were going to get intense, we’re dealing with a family that deals in murder for fucks sake. You have done everything to keep me safe from Riko. But when this is all over, I need to know that I can live on my own. Still stand by my side, but you need to let me go. There might come a time when you won’t be able to be at my side, and I need to know that I can fight for myself, and that you’re not getting yourself killed for me.”

“I’m not getting killed for nothing.”

“That’s right, you’re not,” Nathaniel said. “Because you’re going to let me go, and we’re not going to drag each other down, and we’re still going to be here.” The _ together  _ was unsaid but could still be felt in the air. Nathaniel wished that he could believe it.

Andrew wasn’t looking at him. Nathaniel worried his bottom lip, hoping that Riko was a big enough excuse. Ironic, how they banded together for him, but now this was the card Nathaniel was playing to get Andrew to let him go. If Nathaniel told Andrew about Nathan and Lola’s message, he wouldn’t let Nathaniel out of his sight. But Andrew didn’t deserve to die. So, Nathaniel had to use their next biggest threat.

“Don’t come crying to me when shit goes wrong,” Andrew finally said.

“Don’t worry,” Nathaniel responded. 

“I’m not,” Andrew shifted his eyes towards him. 

\--

The death matches were games all based on a point system. The two Exy teams with the highest amount of points would be the ones to advance to the championships. Currently, the teams at the top were the Ravens (obviously), USC (expected), and Penn State (also expected). Coming up behind the Big Three were the Palmetto State Foxes, ticking off Exy teams that had almost placed in the final rung of death matches (holy shit, Nathaniel expected them to make it, but still, holy shit).

The Foxes had won their game against Binghamton University the night before. It was only by a point, but it was enough to knock out Binghamton and for them to advance.

Tonight was the Ravens’ game against Penn State. It was officially a week since Nathaniel received Lola’s text. It had also been a week since Nathaniel convinced Andrew to let go of their deal.

A  _ sorry _ was on the tip of his tongue every time he saw Andrew, but Andrew didn’t know what was going to happen to Nathaniel that night, and Nathaniel had a feeling that Andrew wasn’t a fan of apologies.

Nathaniel spent the day wondering how Lord Ichirou planned for his murder to be done. Maybe he would find humor in knowing that a loose end was hacked to pieces by his own father. Maybe he planned for Nathan and his lackeys to team up, four-against-one, and see the fight Nathaniel could put out before his inevitable failure to survive.

_ Survive.  _ The word now felt so foreign, like if he tried to say it, it wouldn’t roll off his tongue right. 

_ Survive.  _ A thing he had tried so hard to do with Jean. A thing he  _ promised _ he would do with Jean.

_ Survive. _ A betrayal to Jean.

_ Survive.  _ He was supposed to get out of here.

_ Survive. _ Riko wasn’t supposed to.

_ Survive.  _ A lost concept.

Nathaniel wished that there was a lump in his throat, a tingling in his eyes, but instead he felt numb. And he continued so until an hour before first serve.

And then there was Andrew Minyard. Andrew, who was ready to put his life on the line for Nathaniel. Andrew, who let Nathaniel in. Andrew, who Nathaniel had never felt more alive around.

_ Andrew Minyard _ .

Nathaniel, sitting on a locker room bench, watched Andrew walk in. Perhaps he stared too long, because Andrew arched an eyebrow at him.

“Staring, Wesninski,” Andrew chastised, though still made his way over to him. The rest of the team was talking among themselves or listening to music through their headphones. Even Riko was distracted. No one was paying attention to them.

“Of course I am,” Nathaniel said quietly. “It’s you.”

“One-hundred-and-fifteen percent,” Andrew said, looking down at him. “Awfully high.”

Nathaniel shrugged. “It happens.”

Andrew said nothing, and Nathaniel thought about his next words carefully, hoping that they would fall off his tongue just right.

“I have a question,” Nathaniel finally said.

“How ominous,” Andrew said. Nathaniel had heard Andrew say this so many times, but now it sent a spike through his heart.

“A request,” Nathaniel corrected. “Tonight…” He thought about tonight. He thought about tonight being his last night on a court. He thought about what it would feel like, tonight, to hear that final buzzer and see the Ravens win for one last time. He thought about Andrew progressing on, and him not. He wanted to see Andrew at his full potential tonight; to see the greatness that was Andrew Minyard. “Tonight,” he repeated. “I want you to shut out the goal. I know tonight’s game won’t be hard, we’ve beat Penn before and I know we’re going to again but… I think you should give it your all.”

“That’s a heavy request,” Andrew said.

“Andrew…” Nathaniel frowned up at him.

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Only if you stop looking at me like that,” he said. “This pitiful thing doesn’t work on you.”

Nathaniel smiled.

He was right; the game, in the end, meant nothing. The Ravens were going to win, and they did. But Nathaniel had watched Andrew shut out their goal, and their opponents were only able to get three past him. Their game that night went in a blur, and stepping off, all Nathaniel could remember was Andrew, small, dangerous Andrew, blocking out their goal.

Nathaniel was proud. He was proud of Andrew, and proud to have known him.

Just almost a year ago, Nathaniel couldn’t imagine even speaking with Andrew; now, he couldn’t imagine a life without him in it. He was glad that he had Andrew, even if it was short lived, and he hoped Andrew could one day get the satisfaction of strangling the life out of Riko.

He was the last one in the locker room. The rest had already gone off to shower or to watch the after game panels in the lounge. Nathaniel threw his bag on the bench and heard a vibrating come from it. Rummaging through it, he found his phone, its screen lit up.

Baltimore was calling.

Nathaniel took a slow breath before answering it, pressing the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” he said, though he already knew who was calling.

“Hey, junior.” The woman’s voice on the other end dripped in blood and malice. “You ready?”

“For?”

Lola laughed on the other end. “Don’t play stupid, kiddo,” she teased, though she had no humor to her words. “You know what we’re here for.”

“I guess I do,” Nathaniel said. He had no fighting words. He had no fight left to give.

“Don’t try to leave,” she said. “We’ll catch you.”

Nathaniel knew that that meant Romero and Jackson were positioned outside. To run would just be a faster suicide.

“You haven’t for years,” Nathaniel decided upon.

“Don’t act like you’ve been running from us,” she said. “If you were, we would have killed you just like we did to your mother. We just haven’t had cause to go after you. But looked like someone slipped up.”

Nathaniel was just glad they got to him and not Andrew.

Nathaniel said nothing.

“What? No snarky comeback?” Lola mocked. “What happened to your fight?”

“I have nothing left, nothing to deny.” He hated how resigned he was, but what did he have left to give?

“Then I guess now is the perfect time for you to go,” she said. He could imagine the smile on her face. “See you soon, kid.” She hung up.

Nathaniel stared down at his phone.

A text from Kevin came in:  **Good job tonight.**

Nathaniel didn’t reply. He couldn’t think of last words that Kevin Day would accept.

“What’s got you so dumbstruck?”

Nathaniel looked up to see Andrew walking towards him, his hair still damp from the shower. He felt his throat tighten. He coughed to clear it and said, “Kevin actually paid me a compliment.” He threw his phone back into his bag.

Andrew nodded. “Impressive.”

Nathaniel opened his mouth to say something when the locker room phone rang. Andrew and Nathaniel’s eyes shot to it as Jenkins picked it up in time. She listened, not saying anything for a couple moments. “Okay, I’ll send him,” she finally said before hanging up. Her eyes went to Nathaniel. “Coach needs to see you in his office.”

Nathaniel nodded slowly before turning back to Andrew.

Andrew raised an eyebrow at him. 

Nathaniel shrugged. “It’s probably nothing,” he said. The guilt in him made him feel sick, but him and Andrew had no deal anymore.

Andrew nodded.

Nathaniel stood and shoved his bag in his locker. He wouldn’t be needing it where he was going.

“Thank you,” he said, turning to Andrew. He couldn’t say what he wanted to: thank you for the alliance, for the kisses, for the trust, for keeping him standing when nothing else could, for being Andrew. They were words that were only meant for him, but to say them would tip something off in his brain. He knew that Andrew would understand the gravity of his words eventually. Nathaniel took in Andrew’s face for one last time. He studied the angle of his jaw, the honey of his eyes, the way his damp, blonde hair barely curled in front of his forehead. He studied and hoped that, when his time on Earth was down to nothing, he would end it seeing Andrew. “You were amazing.”

When Nathaniel left the locker room, he didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	29. chapter twenty-eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baltimore called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys :) what's up how has everyone been managing??? we all good??? we all functioning???
> 
> the aftermath of the last chapter was definitely something, so as a result........ i've decided to put a compilation of my favorite comments i was laughing my ass off reading them. hey, if i had to suffer writing it, u guys gotta suffer with me (:
> 
> "you kno what i haven't even read the chapter yet but i /have/ just read your reply to my last comment where you just viciously mock my fear of the character deaths by simply smiling and then AND THEN i come to read your lastest update and the chapter is called "the infamous chapter twenty-seven" i have no /idea/ what you're about to do and you kno what frankly fuck you /goddamn/" followed by a lovely "THAT FUCKING SMILEY FACE AT THE END FUCK FUCK UNDESERVING NATHANIEL CALLS ANDREW UNDESERVING OF DYING AT HIS FATHER'S HAND WHAT ABOUT YOU NEIL??? WHAT ABOUT YOU???? AND THE LAST THING HE WANTS TO SEE IS ANDREW WITH A SHUT OUT IN ALL HIS GLORY???? FUCK YOU????? AND THEN A COMPLIMENT FROM KEVIN!!! fuck you that's what undid me it was so unexpected, i felt my heart jump or skip or some shit idk its never done that before jeaus you're doing me physical and emotional injury you're such a good goddamn writer i'm not going to be able to get over this until the next chapter comes out, jesus christ consider me a your beck and fucking call i'm going to be so useless i won't be able to stop thinking about this goddamn goddamn fuck me 'm sobbing how could you :''((((" -zombiesolace
> 
> "NO NO NONONONONONONONONONONONO STOP IT WHATS WRONG EITHHBMY THROAT US CLOSING IM ABOJT TO CRY THIS IS SOMEHOW WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL BOOK DAMNIT I SHOULDNT HAVR READ THIS THEY WERE SO HALY DBDBDNDB HOW DARE YOU NUH UH THIS CHAPTER DOESNT EXIST NATHAN WESNINSKI? DONT KNOW HIM OR A LOLA I ONLY KNOW a HAPPY!!! ANDRIEL PEACFULKY MAKING OUT AND PUNCHINN MORIYAMAS IN THE FACE NOPE UR CANCELLED GOODBYE AND THEN U HAVE THE NERVE TO END IT EITH A FUCKIG SMILEY FACE NOTHING ELSE BITCH WHAT NO NO SMILING FOR YOU GO SIT IN A CORNER SND THINK ABIHT WHAT YOUVE DONE I THOUGT IT WAS MORIYAMA CRAP BT HIS DAD LALALLALA HAPPILY SITTING HERE IN DENIAL" -fanvergentgirl19
> 
> "that smiley face you troll?????" -etione
> 
> and the ever simple but emotional, "Fuck." -princessoftheworlds
> 
> so on that note, let's move onto the next chapter!!! tw for extreme violence, gore, and character death

Tetsuji was not in Tetsuji’s office.

“Hey, junior,” Lola grinned at him.

Nathaniel wished he could say something, some witty remark to show that he wasn’t scared, but the words caught in his throat and his tongue ran dry.

“Again, nothing to say? You’re quite the speaker on national television,” she mocked. “Maybe it’s for the best, though. Your big mouth is what finally brought you back to your roots.”

Nathaniel swallowed and finally found his words. “I am nothing like any of you,” he said. He didn’t know if he believed it, if he believed himself to be so separate and different from his father, but he used whatever final scraps of hope he had left to bank on it. 

“We’re not so different, Nathaniel,” Lola said, sliding off the desk she was sitting on. She slid up to him, getting her own face close to his. “You’re a Wesninski. You will get what you want with no regards for the blood on your hands.”

Nathaniel flinched. He thought of Kevin’s broken, disfigured, bloody hand. He thought of the blood splatter at the Hemmicks’ back in November. He thought of Andrew jumping in between him and Riko, blood spitting out of the corner of his mouth. He thought of his own fist connecting with Riko’s jaw and how the bruising still lightly covered his knuckles.

Everything that got them to this point, everything that let them come so close to taking down Riko, came with a heavy price. They were so close to winning, but, right now, it didn’t feel like a victory to Nathaniel.

He could feel the blood pounding under his skin and soaking his hands. He hoped it was enough for both himself and Andrew. Andrew wasn’t the one to blame; Andrew didn’t have a target on his head from day one.

Lola smiled. “Even you know it.” 

She then took a step back and swung open the door, the same door that Kevin walked out of the reach Palmetto, the same door they walked out of to reach Columbia. A walk into freedom, a walk into a nightmare, and now a walk into death.

“After you,” she said.

Nathaniel stepped out and immediately Romero and Jackson came up on his sides. Their hands clasped his wrists so tightly that he was sure they would lose circulation. He felt their strong grips and then thought of his father bringing his cleaver down upon his wrists. Maybe that would be what he goes for first. Remove what he needs for Exy, remove whatever will he had left to live.

When they reached one of their cars, Jackson slammed Nathaniel to the side of it. He didn’t struggle when he felt him handcuff his wrists, and he let them shove him into the back of the car. Lola followed him in and cornered him against the other door.

“We have so much time,” she said. “Might be best to prepare you.”

Nathaniel watched as she slipped a lighter from her pocket. She opened the flame and held it close to his face. He felt the heat radiating off of it but did not move away. 

“You look so much like your father,” she continued. “Do people often tell you that? I’m surprised that they don’t.”

He didn’t say anything.

Lola brought the flame closer to his upper cheek and he knew exactly what she was observing. “Three,” she said, the word coming off her tongue as if it was her first time saying it. “I think it will be best if we leave this. They’ll need something to identify you with when we’re through with you.”

Nathaniel Wesninski considered the three on his cheek. At a younger age, sweat from the flame would have dripped marker ink down his face; however, the permanent ink clung as resilient as it always had been. The three had always reminded him how he ranked in the Nest. He was third, and the second most valued piece of Moriyama property. He was third in rank, and there was once a price on his head, and now there was a knife floating above him just waiting to be dropped. At one point, a point that seemed so long ago, he was a person. There was a time when he strived to be more than just a number three; now, though, he found himself clinging to the one piece of him that felt real.  The three on his cheek was the one thing that separated him from Nathaniel Wesninski, the son of the Baltimore Butcher, the boy who wasn’t meant to live for very long. It was what made him Nathaniel, #3, one of two leading backliners for the reigning Edgar Allan Ravens, a boy with a future filled with success and victory.

For months he wished he could be away from the Ravens, but he would rather die a Raven than die as Nathan Wesninski’s son.

There was a searing pain in the middle of his right hand. Nathaniel was already crying out before his mind registered that Lola had lit a cigarette and was now holding it against his hand. He didn’t get the chance to recuperate because the pain spread to his knuckles. He tried to push her away, but his wrists bound together made it difficult, and she knew that. To prove her point, she gripped his tied hands and stabbed her lit cigarette into the palm of his left hand. She then rolled up his sleeves.

Nathaniel watched as she removed a blade from somewhere on his person and dragged it up his arms quickly and messily. He screamed out, officially trying to pull away, hoping that perhaps he would throw himself against the door hard enough to break it open or at least knock himself unconscious, but his struggle only made the pain worse and Lola grinned as she sliced his arms and sealed them with her cigarette.

The pain continued up his arms. He had hoped that the pain would ebb as time progressed but each burn and cut only grew worse. His skin blistered and cried out to him to  _ escape escape escape _ but the car felt  _ smaller smaller smaller  _ with each passing second. He was unable to get a good breath in; it felt as if each movement of his lungs brought new pain and each time he  _ could  _ breathe, the scent of his burning flesh would choke and gag him each time. 

The only time he could regain his breathing was when he was forced to. After Lola had her fun with her burning cigarette, she pressed a damp, sweet-smelling towel to his face. “Just breathe, Nathaniel,” she cooed to him, a huntress calming her prey. “If you just relax and breathe, will be where we need to be soon.”

Nathaniel tried his best to struggle against her. He knew what she was trying to do at him, and the thought of being unconscious and unaware of what would be done to him in this car pained him. But each brush of his burnt arms and hands only caused him to gasp in the fumes on the towels faster, and eventually, Nathaniel gave up trying.

He fell unconscious while Lola was restraining him.

\--

Nathaniel faded in and out of consciousness for hours, and it started with the chloroform. When he first woke, the pain on his arms and hands had not subdued, and that combined with his already hazy constitution rendered him unconscious again. Then, Nathaniel believed that Lola either tried to bludgeon his head in, or Romero took a turn too sharp and Nathaniel slammed his head on the door because the next time he remembered waking up, a pain was springing from the back of his head. At one point, he believed the exhaustion from giving up after fighting with everything he had for months finally caught up to him.

There was blood on his hands and his face was burning when he woke up next. He saw it in the passing of a streetlight, and first thought that the burns had opened up again. Then, he felt blood drip down from his chin and onto his hand, leaving a small splatter on his hand. He slowly reached up, scared to move too fast and trigger Lola into hurting him again, and his fingers found a cut, most definitely from a knife wound, that ran from just under his tattoo to his jaw. He hissed out a breath when his fingers made contact. It was a deep slash with smaller ones going across it. Nathaniel was positive that it would need stitches.

“You’re awake,” Lola said. She was sitting next to him, casually leaning against the door like this was just a normal car ride. “Perfect. We’re almost there.”

Nathaniel then looked out the window. Despite not having been there in years, he recognized Baltimore immediately. They were only a couple blocks away from his old home. His stomach twisted so quick and so harshly that he had to clench his jaw and breathe through gritted teeth to stop from vomiting.

He now knew what it felt like to know that your death was only a couple minutes away. He had heard that life would flash quickly before his eyes, but instead the present only slowed down. He thought of the present, of a flash of blonde hair, of a future that he would never have. He thought of his exy rackets and how they would eventually collect dust, if Riko didn’t destroy them. He thought of the pain that pulsed up and down his arms and knew that, in less than a half hour, he wouldn’t feel anything anymore.

The house in Baltimore had not changed. A two story house, three if you count the cellar underneath, and, if you didn’t know the family who haunted it, you would expect to find a nice, sweet, upperclass family. The lawn was trimmed nice and neat and the white picket fence that surrounded the porch looked good as new.

There was no sign of life behind the windows. No light left on and no shadows left lurking behind. Everything looked prim and pristine and staged. The house was too clean, too put together, too everything that the Wesninskis weren’t.

Romero pulled into the driveway. It was the only thing that hadn’t changed. It was a cracked thing; what used to be smooth concrete turned into a mess of gravel and potholes. Nathaniel remembered once tripping and skinning his knee in one of the gouged out sections; Nathan was more concerned with traces of blood left on the concrete than dirt infecting his son’s wound.

The crunching of gravel under tires sounded all too familiar to Nathaniel. He could easily picture his younger self, all red hair and big blue eyes and bruises and cuts hidden under shirts and pants, staring out the window for hours as cars came in and out, wondering when one would finally come and take them all to safety or prison or hell.

He felt panic rise up in his throat.

Romero turned off the car and Jackson swung open his door. Lola’s hands clasped down onto his arms in restraint since she didn’t seem to trust the handcuffs. To make matters worse, she dug her nails in and Nathaniel hissed in pain as his burns were further irritated.

Jackson dragged him out and Nathaniel’s sneakers slipped on the pavement. Lola and Romero flocked behind him and they ushered him into the garage. Everything was dark, but no one needed directions on where to go. Nathaniel was pushed to the right and a door opened. He nearly tripped down the stairs he was led down and, when they reached the cellar, Jackson threw him to the ground, though Nathaniel doubted that he had much energy left to stand.

Jackson and Romero retreated back up the stairs and Lola sat next to him. She uncuffed him before lounging back on her hands with her legs crossed. “This is a big moment for you,” she beamed. “You’ve never been allowed down here before.”

She was right, Nathaniel hadn’t, but he had caught glimpses of it waiting at the top of the stairs as a child. He knew the room was dark, even with the lights on, and sparse. Nathan didn’t want to leave anything down here that his victims could fight back with. He wasn’t a man for an even fight.

“How long do I have left?”

Lola stuck her tongue between her teeth with her grin and Nathaniel could only picture a snake. “Including the time it takes for Nathan to get down here, I say less than a half hour.”

Nathaniel nodded and stared down at his hands. Even in the darkness, he could see the blisters and the dried blood. He could feel the room closing in on him and his clothes sticking to his skin, adhered by blood and sweat. He tried to extend a half hour so that it would seem like forever. 

Nathaniel never really considered his life expectancy. As a child, he was too young to really comprehend death and what dying would be like; as a child of Nathan Wesninski, he lived in fear that it would be done in his own home (how fitting). In the Nest, he always had, in the back of his head, the thought that it would be Riko who kills him, but he didn’t know if he ever really  _ believed _ that. It was always just a concept; one day, Riko would hit him too hard and he would die of blunt force trauma.

But now, the finale of his life was played out over the next thirty minutes. He would do anything to extend that time.

Ten minutes passed. Nathaniel thought ten minutes passed. It was the only time that could make sense. It left him twenty minutes, and twenty minutes could seem like a lot. 

Eleven minutes ( _ Nathaniel thought eleven minutes passed it was the only time that could make sense it left him nineteen minutes and nineteen minutes could seem like a lot _ ) when the door leading to the stairs swung open.

Nineteen minutes did not realistic anymore.

Lola shot up from where she was standing.

Nathaniel looked up.

Nathan Wesninski, the Baltimore Butcher, was what Nathaniel Wesninski would have looked like when he was older. His red hair was beginning to turn sandy with age, and in a couple more years it would turn to grey. His eyes were blue and piercing and about as sharp as his cleaver. Despite being a wealthy man, he didn’t feel the need to show it. To dress wealthy would scream that he needed that validation, that he needed people to know who he was. He didn’t need to dress nice for people to know; anyone who valued their life knew who Nathan Wesninski was. He came down in a wrinkled, black button up, grey jeans, and barefoot.

Nathan and Nathaniel Wesninski, father and son. Nathan and Nathaniel Wesninski, only separated by a few letters. Nathan and Nathaniel Wesninski, killer and victim.

His loyal bodyguard Patrick DiMaccio followed downstairs behind him. A tank at three-hundred pounds, Nathaniel believed that, after his father, he feared Patrick the most.

“Stand up,” Nathan said. He was only a few short paces in front of Nathaniel. “You know better than to sit in my presence.”

Nathaniel obeyed.

“Hello, Nathaniel.”

Nathan took a couple steps closer. Nathaniel could smell his father’s cologne. It brought back too many memories. He had to breathe through gritted teeth to stop himself from gagging. 

“Do I have to repeat myself?”

Any words Nathaniel tried died in his throat.

Nathan’s fist crashed against the gash in Nathaniel’s cheek. Nathaniel knew it was coming but his legs still gave out. He was saved from crashing to his ground by his father’s hand closing around his throat. He gasped for any breath he could catch as his father dragged him close. 

“You know to speak when I speak to you,” Nathan growled before releasing Nathaniel. Nathaniel gasped in all the air he could manage, willing himself to stay standing and to not crumble in front of his father.

“Hello,” Nathaniel managed out, his voice strained. He trained his eyes downwards onto the black button up Nathan was wearing. The first two were undone, and the top one didn’t have a button attached anymore. 

“Look at me, Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel took a deep breath before raising his eyes to his father’s. His entire body shook so much he found it hard for his vision to stay focused. He wanted to scream, he wanted to scream until everyone heard him and his throat was raw and he fell unconscious, but air got trapped in his throat on the way down.

“If only your mother could see you now, Nathaniel,” Nathan grinned and cupped his son’s jaw. Nathaniel flinched. “She killed herself for you, thinking that she’ll be able to save you, and you still managed to fuck up and end up back to your roots.” He shook his head and frowned. “My greatest disappointments.”

Nathan then removed his hands from Nathaniel’s face and pushed him back a few steps. Nathaniel stumbled, barely catching himself from falling. Nathan brushed his hands off on his jeans and held one out. “Let’s get this over with,” he said. “The higher-ups don’t like to wait, and he _ really _ wants you to be through rather quickly.” DiMaccio came up behind Nathan, Nathan’s axe in one hand and cleaver in the other. He turned to survey his options. “I was thinking you should go like your mother. Hacked into pieces with no one to miss you.”

A nerve snapped in Nathaniel as he watched his father choose the weapon he would kill his son with.

He didn’t want to die.

He knew it wouldn’t do much, but it was better than nothing. There was a door from the cellar that would lead up a flight of stairs to the outside. Taking advantage of the distraction, he pulled together all the energy he could and bolted for the door.

Lola was expecting it and crashed into Nathaniel, knocking him to the ground. It was enough to get him away from his father, but no sooner than when he hit the ground was DiMaccio bounding up to him. He yanked Nathaniel up by the collar of his shirt, unfazed by Nathaniel’s constant punching and kicking, and threw him into the wall. The breath was knocked out of Nathaniel and, as he crumpled to the ground, DiMaccio stepped away. A glint of silver came into Nathaniel’s peripheral vision and he scrambled away just fast enough to miss being hacked by his father’s cleaver.

Nathan watched him, unamused. He was not concerned with Nathaniel escaping. Right now was just a test run to see which blade would swing better. He was more so debating which one would bring a more painful death than he was concerned with Nathaniel.

Nathan took a step closer and Nathaniel bolted to the side. Lola was waiting for him, knife drawn. He slammed into her, just hoping that if he was stabbed it wouldn’t be somewhere fatal. The knife dragged along his chest and into his arm but he managed to push her in between him and his father.

She drew her gun on him. She wouldn’t pull the trigger, it wasn’t her job to, but Nathaniel still ducked.

Nathan stepped around her. He was through with playing Nathaniel’s game and it was clear in his cold blue eyes that he was through with Nathaniel. With a growl, he grabbed Nathaniel by the throat and dragged him up before slamming him into the wall. The force was enough to knock all the air out of his lungs, and the pressure from Nathan’s grip made it even harder for him to get any air back in. The hand was replaced by a cleaver, and Nathan Wesninski stared down at Nathaniel Wesninski.

There wasn’t enough pressure on the blade to cause any damage, but if Nathaniel even breathed wrong he knew that one slice was all it needed to bleed him dry.

“Maybe I won’t hack you up one by one, searing you up so that you live for a couple more hours,” Nathan said, his voice barely over a whisper. “I don’t think you deserve that. Maybe I’ll just carve your throat out right here, watch as the blood pours out of you and you suffocate because you can’t breathe and there’s so much blood.”

The word  _ “No” _ was just trembling on Nathaniel’s lips. But he knew better. Begging would never get him anywhere.

Lola came up behind Nathan. She had taken the axe from DiMaccio and had it resting on her shoulder. “You could have some fun, Nathan,” she purred. “Start with-”

The cellar door swung open.

Lola’s body was already filled with bullets when Nathaniel’s mind finally pieced together what was happening.

Bullets were flying before anyone had a second to move. Nathan was temporarily distracted from carving out his son’s jugular at the sight of DiMaccio lunging for him, and instead being shot down in air.

Bodyguards from upstairs sprinted down but it seemed that the landing was target practice. Each one that came down was dead within a step. Bullets flew like rain and Nathaniel pressed himself into the wall.

A bullet hit Nathan somewhere- somewhere  _ fatal _ , somewhere that _ killed him _ , somewhere that splattered blood on the walls and it was hot as it hit Nathaniel and he didn’t know if it was bile that rose in his throat or relief but something in him snapped and his knees buckled to the ground in anguish in front of the corpse of Nathan Wesninski.

The room felt silent. Blood was seeping on the floor. It was Lola’s, DiMaccio’s, every man and woman that worked for Nathan. It was Nathan’s.

Nathaniel thought some of it was his.

He stared at the ground. It seemed to be moving. 

Footsteps approached him. On some steps, it sounded like feet on concrete, on others, it sounded like feet trailing through water. Nathaniel flinched at knowing that, whoever it was, they were walking freely through blood. Blood was hard to get off of concrete and shoes and police could easily find traces of blood and-

A pair of nice, if slightly bloodied, shoes came into Nathaniel’s vision.

“You are alive.”

_ Nathaniel was alive. _

Nathaniel looked up.

Lord Ichirou Moriyama stared back at him.

Nathaniel blinked. 

Lord Ichirou Moriyama waited.

Nathaniel nodded slowly. He couldn’t find the power to speak. He was scared of what would -or wouldn’t- come out. He looked around at the scene in front of him. On his walk over, Lord Ichirou had kicked aside his father’s corpse. A bullet hole could be seen in the side of his head. His eyes were lifeless and Nathaniel gagged upon seeing them still staring into him. He pressed a hand to his mouth.

“Very impressive,” Lord Ichirou said, also looking around at what was laid out for him. “You outlived all of this.”

Nathaniel squeezed his eyes shut tight. He was waiting for Lord Ichirou to pull a gun out on him. He was waiting for the barrell to be pressed to his forehead and for the trigger to click and for pain to spread throughout his skull as it was ripped through and for it to be all over.

Nothing ever came.

Nathaniel opened his eyes. Something had occurred to him.

Lord Ichirou (and his two men that were standing guard at the door, guns drawn but pointing at nothing) had been the one to kill Nathan Wesninski and his men. But, allegedly, Lord Ichirou had been the one to send Nathan after Nathaniel. But Nathan was dead and Nathaniel was not and Lord Ichirou was standing in front of him with no apparent intent of killing Nathaniel.

“It all works,” Lord Ichirou continued, staring back down at Nathaniel. “Today was not your day to die.”

Nathaniel stared up at him. His mind was slowly putting the pieces together, and he didn’t know if he could believe it.

“These were not my orders,” Lord Ichirou said. “Such a shame to lose a trusted man of my father’s to a lesser offering more money.”

“Riko,” Nathaniel somehow managed out. His voice was raspy and quiet and it felt like he hadn’t used it in years. 

Nathaniel couldn’t believe it. Riko had dug his own grave in a desperate act to save himself.

Lord Ichirou nodded, his dark eyes scanning over Nathaniel. “Can you stand?”

“I don’t know,” Nathaniel admitted.

Lord Ichirou nodded again and motioned over his guards. They put away their guns and walked across the cellar floor. They silently came on either side of Nathaniel and grabbed his arms, dragging him up. Nathaniel cried out in pain, feeling his clothes rip against burns and dried blood and the pressure from their hands digging into his wounds.

Lord Ichirou surveyed him. “Bring him to the car, we’ll take him to where he needs to be.”

The men nodded. “I’ll have someone come and take care of this,” he said as he followed his men and Nathaniel out. After only two steps, the men were more carrying Nathaniel than helping him walk. Nathaniel was barely keeping consciousness. Everything he had felt, every bit of pain and sadness and hopelessness, was crashing down on him and he found it hard to keep his eyes open.

It was pitch black out. The neighborhood looked undisturbed, despite the events that just transpired, and Nathaniel wondered if anyone had called the police, or if the Moriyama’s police were already on their way. A sleek, black car was parked at the curb and the men put Nathaniel in the back of it. He leaned against the window, sticking his legs out on the seat, and let his head loll back. One man got into the driver’s seat while the other waited outside with Lord Ichirou as he made a phone call.

Nathaniel knew where they were taking him. The Moriyama’s had their own hospital staff, they were who Tetsuji and Riko took Kevin to after Riko smashed his hand. They were located everywhere that was relevant to the Moriyamas, meaning that there was a hospital located by Edgar Allan, one in New York City, along with one in Baltimore. He would be taken care of in a Moriyama hospital, he would be safe from the feds, and he would be alive.

Relief crashed over him in a wave. The other man got into the passenger seat and Lord Ichirou into the remaining back seat and Nathaniel was unconscious before they started driving.

\--

It had been a while since Nathaniel had been in a hospital room. Sure, he was in the waiting room back in Columbia, but being in an actual hospital room was different. Staring at the white ceiling, a smell that was too clean and too full of chemicals filling his nose, he realized that he didn’t remember the last time he was hospitalized. Every injury he had endured with Jean because he couldn’t go elsewhere.

His mind was fogged with painkillers. He knew that when they faded away, the pain would come back to him wave after wave.

Nathaniel stared at the ceiling and tried to piece together everything so that things would seem real. He narrowed his eyes, still on the brink of sleep and awake.

He was Nathaniel Wesninski.

Nathan Wesninski was dead.

He thought Lord Ichirou Moriyama hired his father to kill him. Riko Moriyama undermined his older brother and he, instead, was the one who sent Nathan after Nathaniel.

Lord Ichirou Moriyama killed Nathan Wesninski.

Riko Moriyama was going to be killed. It was only a matter of time.

Nathaniel Wesninski was alive.

He huffed out a sigh, the thinking doing nothing to clear his head. So much had happened, so many incomprehensible things over just one day, it hurt to think about it.

He lifted his head and looked down at the rest of him. His arms, from bicep to knuckles, were covered in bandages. Blood had lightly seeped through some of them and he wondered if it was a cut that had not healed fully yet or a stitch that had been pulled. He carefully, slowly, brought a hand to his face and found the large gash under his tattoo covered.

“You are awake.”

Nathaniel turned his head and found Lord Ichirou standing in the doorway.

“Lord Ichirou,” Nathaniel said, hoping that his greeting now would make up for his lack of one upon rescue.

“We have some matters to discuss.”

“Of course, Lord,” Nathaniel said. Lord Ichirou sat in one of the bedside chairs and crossed his ankle over his knee, his fingers tapping a steady beat. He looked cool and indifferent. Nathaniel had to stop himself from shuddering under the look of his dark eyes.

“Your father, my father’s executioner, is dead,” Lord Ichirou began. “He was supposed to be mine after my father’s death. Nathan Wesninski was a trusted man not only among my father, but among his people, too. Yet, seeing that he fell under manipulation to my brother and the cash he had, which, technically, was stolen from us, I had to get rid of him. That leaves the Moriyamas without an executioner, and with you remaining.”

Nathaniel’s breath caught in his throat. 

Lord Ichirou continued to voice his fears. “Technically, that would leave me with two options. One, you take his place. Unfortunately, you are untrained in handling any weaponry, but we would have to make do with what we have left. The Moriyamas have many loose ends that must be taken care of, and it is not us who does it. Two, you follow your father’s steps and join him in death. Not only do the Moriyamas not believe in the passing of jobs from father to son, but the son of a traitor bears no hope for complacency.” He then cocked his head to the side. “But I find myself considering a third option.”

Nathaniel nodded, too scared to speak in fear of messing up his chance to continue life before it was even presented to him.

“I am a smart man who can recognize an opportunity and a price tag. Not only are you property of the Moriyamas, but you are a Raven, and a part of my uncle’s Elite. This means that, unless you were always undeserving of life years ago, you will be going to Court for Exy and playing on national teams. If you want to keep your life and prove to me that you are worth more than your father, you will succeed, and I will receive eighty percent of your earnings through our holdings. Day and Moreau will be following the same route as you, but I believe that you are in a different boat than they are.” 

Ichirou then leaned forward. Even with the distance between them, his eyes bored holes into Nathaniel and he felt a chill run down his back. “Many people under my control are on thin ice right now. My brother is already slipping through, and you are about to. I have no reason to trust you other than the fact that you can bring fortune to my family. I said that yesterday was not your day to die, but that does not mean that today or tomorrow will not be. If you step one foot out of line, I will make you wish that your father was the one to kill you. I will come for you and anyone that you have ever had contact with. You will never be able to run from us, Nathaniel. Do you understand?”

Nathaniel nodded. “Yes, Lord.”

Lord Ichirou nodded and a small smile with no warmth behind it settled on his lips. “Then it is settled. Eighty percent of your earnings, along with Day’s and Moreau’s, will be given to us.” He stood up. “I will alert one of my drivers that you will be heading back to Edgar Allan.”

That last line brought relief over Nathaniel in waves. He was  _ alive _ . He was going to  _ stay _ alive. His earnings were indebted to the Moriyamas, but he would be alive and twenty percent of the twenty million he would make was enough to live comfortably. He was leaving Baltimore behind him, standing instead of in a casket. “Thank you, Lord,” he said, somehow managing to keep his voice steady and calm. Lord Ichirou nodded and departed.

A physician came to clear Nathaniel; luckily, surprisingly, he had no concussion or broken bones. The burns and gashes would heal and scar, but all together, he could play Exy. The only thing he had on his person entering one of Lord Ichirou’s cars was a bottle of painkillers.

The driver started the drive to Castle Evermore. Nathaniel couldn’t say that he was particularly looking forward to being with the _ Ravens _ , but there were a few things he found himself looking forward to. He smirked at imagining Riko’s face upon seeing Nathaniel return.

Riko Moriyama was going to realize that messing with the Wesninskis was the biggest mistake of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u really think i was gonna kill nathaniel. even i have limits.
> 
> ily all!!! next week is the final week of this fic and im already mad emotional bc i've been able to share something that i've worked my ass off for, and i have the best audience!!! you all are great and even tho i laugh at your pain, it's all in love <3
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	30. chapter twenty-nine

Corruption was crawling over the walls of Castle Evermore. It loomed over Nathaniel, staring down at him, as he exited the car. Lord Ichirou’s driver said no word to him before driving off. Nathaniel watched the car leave before turning his stare back to the building. The early-afternoon sun glinted off the windows and Nathaniel felt that he could look through it into the inner, dark, twisted set up of Castle Evermore.

Nathaniel looked forward to the only door that led to both freedom and hell, depending on whether you were leaving or entering. He allowed himself to step through the door that Kevin escaped through, knowing that this was one more step closer to the end.

Tetsuji was not in his office. Nathaniel nodded at the empty room. He was in the right to not be in Nathaniel’s line of sight. Tetsuji was just as guilty as Riko was. Riko didn’t have on-hand connections with Kengo and Lord Ichirou’s contacts, who else would he had gotten them from?

Nathaniel wondered if Tetsuji was proud of what he did, of the manipulation and abuse he put on the children and adults that have been put in his care. He had taken lives that had potential and crafted them into what he wanted them to be, even if it required breaking them so that they could heal catered to him.

The court was empty. Nathaniel didn’t have his phone on him, he left it in the locker room because he didn’t think he would need a phone when he was dead, but he didn’t have to look at the time to know that the Ravens were meant to be practicing. 

He didn’t know where Tetsuji was, but he knew where Riko would be. Riko would be downstairs, feigning confusion over where their backliner had gone, expecting to hear news that he was six feet under. He would pretend to mourn over Nathaniel, as if he meant more than dirt to Riko, while rejoicing over the fact that he thought he won. Maybe Tetsuji was hiding, maybe he knew that Nathaniel survived, but Riko believed that he had come out on top. 

Riko was going to wish that he went into hiding.

Nathaniel crossed across the empty court and through the empty locker room and descended the stairs. The thin, dark stairwell was suffocating. Nathaniel could feel the chill rising up from the depths of it but he willed himself forward. No matter how much his chest seized or how his eyes had yet to take adjustment to the dim lightning, Nathaniel was not afraid.

When Nathaniel reached the Ravens’ lounge, Riko Moriyama was already staring at him. He must have heard the door open and hoped that it was anyone else but the boy he thought he killed. Nathaniel stared back. Riko’s neck had finger-shaped bruises around it and his eyes were full of what could only be described as sheer panic. It was just him and Nathaniel in the lounge, all the others had flocked somewhere else. Now would be the only time that Riko revealed any true weakness that did not stem from mania. No, this look in his eyes, this _ fear _ , gave Nathaniel the idea that Riko finally realized that he was not going to win. Riko knew that things were going to change when he broke Kevin’s hand, knew things were breaking when the Directors searched their dorms, but right here, right now, Riko now knew that what he had done was irreversible and that his demise was inevitable.

Nathaniel wondered what it would feel like to snap Riko’s neck with his own hands, to give him even an ounce of the pain that he caused everyone else. But Nathaniel decided that that would be too nice. Riko deserved nothing short of complete and utter suffering. Nathaniel would make sure that Riko watched his own destruction and that it killed him.

Nathaniel blinked and saw his father behind his eyes, but this was not a Wesninski attitude. A Wesninski killed because, to a Wesninski, there was no other option. You either worked with him, or you were dead. A Wesninski had no sense of justice, no sense of fighting for the people who couldn’t fight for themselves. Nathaniel felt something in his heart pull, and he hoped it was pulling away from Nathan Wesninski.

“You’ll have to try harder than that next time,” Nathaniel said. “If you even get that far.”

Riko stared. Nathaniel placed two fingers to his temple and then flicked them out in a bid goodbye to his captain. 

He turned and headed down the hallway to the single-digit dormitories.

He didn’t process stopping, but he found his hand on the doorknob of a door that was not his. It might as well have been because the door led to a room that felt something like what  _ home  _ was supposed to feel like. He wasn’t thinking, he just pushed the door open because it was something that had become natural and had become  _ his _ and it hadn’t occurred to him until he stepped in and saw blonde hair and hazel eyes and a tattooed five that he was never supposed to be here again.

“Nathaniel,” Andrew Minyard’s voice blew through him and Nathaniel watched as Andrew took fast steps to close the gap between them. Andrew’s steps were heartbeats in Nathaniel’s ear and that life broke something inside Nathaniel that had been waiting to burst.

He didn’t realize what was happening until his face was already wet but, for the first time in a very long while, Nathaniel Wesninski cried.

“You idiot,” Andrew said in a voice that Nathaniel could hear no menace in. “You absolute fucking idiot.” Andrew kicked the door shut behind them, keeping him and Nathaniel in their own bubble of privacy.

Nathaniel’s knees buckled and the only thing that stopped him from collapsing was Andrew cushioning him to the floor. He pressed his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the tears that continued to fall as sobs racked through his body.

“Nathaniel, breathe,” Andrew ordered, his voice sounding far away in Nathaniel’s ears.

“I can’t,” Nathaniel rasped out.

He was never supposed to see this again.

“You’re here, Nathaniel.”

If timing had been one second off, Nathaniel would have been dead.

“I was never supposed to see you again.” Nathaniel’s hands reached forward, desperate for something to hold onto, needing something to keep him from falling any further, but stopped an inch from Andrew’s shirt. To breathe hurt, his body trembled, and he  _ needed _ Andrew, but only if Andrew would accept him back.

One of Andrew’s hands grabbed Nathaniel’s and pressed it to his chest, while the other clasped the back of his neck. He brought Nathaniel in closer and Nathaniel rested his head in the crook of Andrew’s neck. He breathed him in, finding that Andrew was the one thing to clear his lungs of cobwebs and stop his heart from killing him with each beat. To feel Andrew’s own beneath his hand reminded himself that he was  _ here _ and that this was  _ real _ .

“I was never supposed to see you again,” Nathaniel repeated, his voice weak and muffled in Andrew’s neck.

“I don’t think I’d be able to get rid of you that easily,” Andrew said with no malice in his voice.

Nathaniel managed a smile and a wet laugh. “You aren’t that lucky,” he mumbled.

“Nathaniel,” Andrew said, the syllables coming off his tongue smoothly. “I distinctly remember telling you to not come crying to me when shit went wrong.”

Nathaniel nodded, Andrew’s shirt crinkling in his grip. “I’ve never been the best listener.”

“So I’ve learned.”

Andrew then let him sit in silence, breathing him in until he was able to calm down. Finally, he pulled away, using one hand to still hold onto Andrew and the other to rub at his eyes. He then turned his gaze up to Andrew.

“Nathan Wesninski is dead,” he said.

“And you managed to escape him,” Andrew noted.

“Lord Ichirou killed him,” Nathaniel explained. “He followed orders that weren’t his Lord’s. It was a fatal offense.”

Andrew nodded. “It appears that Riko is doing our job for us. He’s a bigger idiot than you are. You just almost get yourself killed and be the martyr that no one asked for. He, however, makes faulty plans that will eventually kill him.”

Andrew’s tone was even, but Nathaniel could hear the hardness of his words. He wasn’t going to ask about it, he wasn’t going to press, but he had a feeling that Andrew had not taken Nathaniel’s disappearance lightly. He then thought of the bruises around Riko’s neck and found his answer.

“He would have hurt you,” Nathaniel said quietly, hoping that Andrew would understand.

“I don’t care about that,” Andrew said, and the  _ that _ implied that there was something else Andrew cared about more, or perhaps  _ someone _ else.

“I do,” Nathaniel said. “If I hadn’t broken off our deal, it would have eventually killed you. We Ravens are supposed to go down together, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew that I killed you, too.”

“You’re an idiot, Nathaniel,” Andrew said, leaning in closer. “Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Nathaniel breathed, tension leaving his body as their lips pressed together.

Love wasn’t a word that was commonly used in Nathaniel’s vocabulary. It was a concept he never learned. Ravens didn’t love, they fucked. And if they even wanted anything more, they didn’t have the time. The Perfect Court wasn’t allowed it. They weren’t permitted any luxuries that would distract them from the success that their future held. Love was something that was unknown to Nathaniel, and he used to find himself fearing it. The love that his mother had for him turned fatal, and even that love would have just introduced him to a life of always running away. To love meant to give someone enough of you and trust that they wouldn’t break you. The thought of giving Nathaniel enough of himself to someone was always terrifying to him. He had always focused on surviving, he couldn’t risk letting feelings and another person get in the way of that. But as Nathaniel studied Andrew, he realized that he trusted Andrew with pieces of him and trusted Andrew to not break them. He trusted Andrew enough to perhaps compromise his future and risk his own life if it meant being able to achieve freedom with him.

Nathaniel realized that, perhaps, the word  _ love _ had never really been so foreign to him.

Andrew stayed with Nathaniel that day. It wasn’t a decision that the two spoke about, but it was one that was already accepted. When Nathaniel was composed enough to leave, he stood, and Andrew did, too, and that was that.

Night came, and Nathaniel was sitting on his bed, his legs tucked up to his chest. Andrew was sitting across from him, his own legs crossed. The clock on the bedside table said that it was just past midnight. The entire day, the nest made no sound, and no practices were held.

Nathaniel stared down at the bandages around his hands and wrists. He could feel the gashes and burns under them.

“They’re going to scar,” he said quietly. He turned his wrists over and back, trying to see if he could see the way they’re healing under the bandages.

“They will,” Andrew agreed. There had been no sadness in Nathaniel’s voice, and no pity in Andrew’s. Nathaniel appreciated that.

“I want them to heal,” Nathaniel continued on, keeping his eyes locked his hands. “The Trojans play the Foxes in two days. And then spring championships is in two weeks. I want the Foxes to win against the Trojans, and then I want to play against them.”

“Even after playing the martyr,” Andrew said. “You’re still a junkie.”

Nathaniel nodded. “Even after playing the martyr,” he repeated. He then looked up at Andrew. “I need to call Jean.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“I just… need to,” he said. He needed to tell him about what Lord Ichirou said, but more so, Nathaniel just wanted to know if he could hear his old roommate’s voice.

Renee Walker’s number was still where Nathaniel shoved it in his bed side drawer. He was impressed with Riko for not going through his shit when he thought that Nathaniel was dead. Probably the first time in Riko’s worthless life that anyone was ever impressed with him.

Andrew watched him as Nathaniel attempted to dial the neatly written number. Nathaniel assumed that Andrew finally grew tired of watching Nathaniel’s bandaged fingers fumble and mess up the numbers over and over because, eventually, he took the phone from Nathaniel and dialed the number himself.

“You still have her number,” Andrew said.

“Jealous?” Nathaniel asked while the phone was ringing, his eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips.

“Didn’t think you were the type to blindly trust strangers.”

“Well you also didn’t think I was anything. And yet.”

“You’re nothing,” Andrew said, but Nathaniel swatted his hand to quiet him because Renee answered on the other line.

“Hello?” she said, her voice soft. He could hear other girls talking behind her.

“Renee,” Nathaniel said. “It’s Nathaniel.” A short pause. “Wesninski.”

“Oh,” Nathaniel could hear the surprise in her voice. “Nathaniel, hello. Is everything alright? Are you okay?” She must have been assuming that, since Nathaniel was calling again, Evermore must have been burning to the ground. The girls in the background stopped talking.

“I’m fine,” Nathaniel said and leveled Andrew’s heavy stare with his own. “That’s not what’s important. I wanted…” He worried his bottom lip. “Is Jean around?”

Renee paused on the other end. “Actually, he isn’t,” she finally said and something that felt like either disappointment or fear went through his gut. She must have sensed Nathaniel’s sudden shift in attitude because she quickly followed up with, “He’s safe. I can’t tell you where he is. Not yet. You’ll find out. But he’s safe.”

“Well, this is kind of important,” Nathaniel urged, hoping that she’d give him something, anything. “Is there any way I could contact him?”

“I’m sorry, Nathaniel,” Renee said. “But I think it would be best for you to learn from Jean on your own, when it happens. He’s not…” She hesitated and Nathaniel knew what she was attempting to find a way to word nicely.

“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” Nathaniel answered for her. “Or any Raven in general.” The feeling of fear in his gut lessened while the disappointment amplified.

“I’m sorry,” Renee repeated with genuine sorrow in her voice. Nathaniel still wondered how a girl who seemed to be so  _ nice  _ and so  _ normal  _ was a Palmetto State Fox.

“It’s okay,” Nathaniel assured. “I can understand. Well, if you hear from him, wish him the best.”

“Always,” Renee said, and Nathaniel found himself glad that Jean had recuperated with people, or at least one person, who was able to support him.

\--

The Foxes had their game against the Trojans. The Ravens were gathered in their common room, staring at the TV. Most were prepared for a laughing stock. The nine team Foxes against the twenty-eight player Trojans with people like Jeremy Knox, Sara Alvarez, and Laila Dermott on their line (no one was going to mention that the Foxes had Kevin Day)? Most Ravens were excited to see the Foxes finally fall. Even Nathaniel admitted to himself that he was terrified; this was the last stepping stone that separated Fox from Raven and it was, by far, the largest one.

No Raven had mentioned Nathaniel’s return, or his sudden disappearance. They all acted like he never disappeared and that Evermore did not halt to a stop with his absence. He wondered if Andrew tried to strangle Riko in front of everybody and they were just refusing to mention it. Nathaniel wished that the Ravens would start to speak up more seeing that their Captain was dragging them down, but it appeared that old habits died hard because Nathaniel assumed that Riko told them to stay quiet. And stay quiet they did.

Nathaniel and Andrew were sitting on the loveseat together, their eyes glued to the TV. Riko was directly across the room for them in his usual recliner. Nathaniel had to admit to himself that he feared how confident Riko looked; Riko expected the Foxes to fail miserably.

The Trojan stadium was decked in red and gold. Even through the TV, Nathaniel could hear the intensity of the screams. The Trojans were just finishing their warm ups, the Foxes soon theirs.

In the short minutes that the Trojans had before the game, captain Jeremy Knox was pulled aside by a reporter.

Nathaniel assumed that Kevin must have felt blessed in the presence of his favorite athlete.

“Jeremy Knox, hello,” the reporter said, smiling.

“Hi!” Jeremy beamed a smile that put the sun to shame. Every athlete in Class I Exy knew that there was a reason that the Trojans one the best sportsmanship award, and it started with their captain.

“Are you ready for tonight?”

“As ready as we can be,” Jeremy said. “The Foxes have proven this year to be determined athletes. I know for a fact that tonight’s game won’t be easy. While we have earned our place here, so have the Foxes. We’re just going to have to play our best and give it our all out there.”

The reporter nodded eagerly. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve heard rumors about Jean Moreau, a former rival of yours, returning to the court next season. How do you feel about that, knowing that you could be facing his team soon?”

Jeremy nodded. “Oh, yes, I’ve heard that, too,” he said. “But I’m not worried because, Jean is returning to the court, yes, but he won’t be back in black.”

Suddenly, everything Renee said clicked into place.

“We were worried that red and gold wouldn’t fit Jean’s complexion, but we know we can make it work,” Jeremy continued on, smiling. “We just have to get him in the sun for a little bit and he’ll be good as gold.”

Nathaniel didn’t pay attention to what the reporter said. He, instead, was focused on Riko and the dead stare he had towards the TV.

Two of Riko’s Perfect Court had left him for rival teams.

A laugh actually bubbled in Nathaniel’s chest -one of satisfaction for seeing Riko come closer and closer to crumbling, one of joy for knowing that Jean was truly safe- but he covered it with a cough into his fist.

“Another waste of potential,” Riko said. It sounded like he said it so that his nerves would calm, and not because he believed it.

Nathaniel wanted to quip back that no, actually, Jean was going to do amazing on the Trojans, but he wanted to go into Championships with as few black eyes as possible.

Andrew and Nathaniel still shared a look, however.

Seconds before the Trojans were supposed to be called out, the announcer said, “We have just heard from the court, apparently there has been a change in the Trojans’ lineup.”

All Raven eyes were on the TV.

“To mimic their opponents,” the announcer continued. “The Trojans have decided to adjust their lineup so that they, too, only have nine players for the entire game. When Coach Henderson and Captain Jeremy Knox were asked about the sudden change, they said that they both agreed on it. It was Knox’s idea, and he wanted to see if the Trojans were good because they truly were, and not just because they were a team of twenty-eight going against a team of nine.”

_ Holy shit _ , Nathaniel thought.  _ The Foxes could do this. _

The Foxes, because of their small numbers and the fact that their third striker, Janie Smalls, barely played in games anymore, were forced to play both halves with barely any subs. For months, they trained playing full hour and a half games. While being small in number, they most likely dominated other teams in endurance. A huge team like the Trojans never had to worry about not having any subs; they could switch out people as they pleased.

It seemed that Jeremy Knox not only had a sense of fairness, but knew how to make an even match. 

“Jeremy Knox is an idiot,” Riko said, his voice full of scorn.

“Jeremy Knox is smart,” Nathaniel said, making forceful eye contact with him. “What he said was completely right. When you have so many players, you can switch out who you want. You don’t need endurance. Obviously a team like that is going to be better against a team of nine, no matter their endurance, because one set of players are new and energized while the other set have already been playing for fuck knows how long. Exy is a sport based on skill and strategy, and constantly switching out players isn’t a sound or fair one. Playing nine and nine shows which team really deserves their win.”

“I don’t recall fucking asking,  _ Wesninski _ ,” Riko spit the final word out thinking that it would hurt Nathaniel. Nathaniel smirked, knowing that Wesninski was going to be what hurt Riko instead.

Nathaniel had never seen the Foxes fight harder. They knew, he knew, the world knew, that they were only one game away from Championships, and that they’re opponents would be their most difficult ones yet. They knew they were down in players, some might argue skill, too, but they were up in endurance. And for this game, it was enough. The Trojans played their heart out for the first half, finishing it two points ahead of the Foxes. It was a start of the ignorant; they didn’t know how to make nine players last for an hour and a half. They played as if they would be switched out for next half. 

The Trojans might have known how to make a powerful start, but the Foxes knew how to make a powerful finish.

When the final buzzer rang out with the Foxes two points ahead, Nathaniel actually found himself excited for Championships. The Foxes had proven to be worthy rivals, and even if Nathaniel knew what the outcome would have to be,  he was ready to see the fight that the Foxes had.

\--

Kevin answered his phone on the second ring.

Andrew and Nathaniel were seated in Nathaniel’s room, across from each other on his bed. It was an hour after the Foxes’ game ended and Nathaniel was eager to talk to his old teammate. 

Even though Riko wouldn’t try anything so close to Championships, Nathaniel still locked his door just to be safe.

“How does it feel to beat your celebrity crush as a Fox?” Nathaniel asked when Kevin answered. Andrew rolled his eyes.

“Great,” Kevin said. “We fought hard. It was a deserved win.” 

Nathaniel was pretty sure he heard Matt Boyd shout  _ “Fuck yeah it was!” _ in the background.

“Actually complimenting the Foxes?” Nathaniel questioned. “In their presence? Kevin, you’ve changed.”

“Fuck off,” Kevin said, but Nathaniel wasn’t completely kidding. When Kevin left the nest, he was a destroyed man, physically and mentally. He had never been in a situation where he did not have another half. He never had to be on his own. It was always Riko and Kevin. For the first time, it was just Kevin Day, no one else tacked on. Joining the Foxes, Kevin was difficult. He was frustrated with himself for not being able to play and even more so with his new teammates’ reluctance to listen. Kevin thought he was at rock bottom with no chance of getting out.

But Kevin did. He followed Nathaniel and Andrew in wanting to destroy the Ravens, but also started to become his own person outside of them. The Kevin he knew from the Nest would have never been so bold as to go as far as revealing the corruption of the Ravens on live television.

Kevin changed. He was a right-handed Exy player, #2 for the formerly last place Palmetto State Foxes. He was stronger, he had a better footing on the ground and wasn’t waiting for someone to pull him along, directing him how to breathe.

Kevin Day was in a better place.

“I guess we’ll be seeing you in about two weeks,” Nathaniel said.

“Twelve days,” Kevin replied. “Be ready.”

“We will be, but that’s actually why we called,” Nathaniel said. He then put the phone on speaker. Andrew’s eyes drifted to the phone now held out in front of him but said nothing. Nathaniel lowered his voice as he continued to speak. “The Foxes need to win. We all know that. But we can’t throw a game. If either of us look like we’re not trying in the first half, Coach will take us off the court.”

Kevin sighed. “I was thinking the same thing. We’ve been practicing Raven drills here, we know the techniques that can be used by and against us, but it still won’t be easy.”

“It never was easy,” Andrew suddenly said. He then took the phone from Nathaniel’s hand. “There’s one thing that can work, but you need to play smart, Kevin.”

“What is it?” Kevin asked.

“Pick a number from one to ten,” Andrew said. Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows.

“Andrew, what does that-”

“Pick a number or I’m hanging up and breaking the phone,” Andrew threatened.

Kevin huffed out a breath. “Fine,” he said, then hesitated, thinking. “Six.”

“That’s how many points you get first half, play it well,” Andrew said. “But listen closely, Kevin. I am not giving you a point each time you try to shoot. You and Gordon have to earn it, otherwise you’re not getting it. Nathaniel will not be giving up his game-” Andrew’s eyes shot up to him. “It’s solely you and me. Play the first half well, for once second half starts you’re all on your own and what happens, happens.” Andrew paused, letting the gravity of his words sit over the three. “Have your Foxes ready because the Ravens aren’t going down without a fight.”

“I wouldn’t want them any other way,” Kevin said. “We’re ready here. Everything will be left on the court.”

“Remember what I said Kevin,” Andrew said. “Six, and it’s not guaranteed. Don’t expect an easy fight because I’m giving you something.”

“I know you’re not that nice,” Kevin said.

“I’m not,” Andrew agreed. In lieu of a goodbye, he merely turned speaker off and handed the phone back to Nathaniel.

“Twelve days,” Nathaniel repeated.

“Yeah,” Kevin said quietly. “Anything else?”

Nathaniel hesitated. Kevin was eventually going to find out what happened to Nathan Wesninski and what Riko did. But he didn’t feel like that was a conversation to be had over the phone. “It’s March now,” he went with instead. “You’ve been with the Foxes for almost a year now. How’s it been?”

“It’s been something,” Kevin said and let out something that sounded like a laugh. “But… we’ve all worked hard. These people… my  _ teammates _ … they’ve helped. I thought I was going to be coming here to help them and only that but… I got so much more than what I expected.”

Kevin really, truly changed. 

What he said next, Nathaniel didn’t catch.

“What?”

“He knows,” Kevin repeated. “I told him.”

Nathaniel thought for a moment, trying to figure out who Kevin was talking about, when it suddenly clicked in his brain. 

“You told Wymack?” he asked. “How’d he take it?”

Kevin’s voice was so quiet that Nathaniel had to strain to hear it over the background noise. “He was upset, but not because he didn’t want… this. He wishes he could have been there more. He wants… we both want to be closer. I haven’t had the opportunity for an actual family since my mom…” Kevin trailed off and Nathaniel understood. He thought of Kevin, the boy who had his mother taken from him by the same people who took him in afterwards. Kevin, who was forced to live under a stadium for his entire life, stuck with a man who could care less about children and an exy brother who would only betray him in the end.

“I hope you get that opportunity again, Kevin,” Nathaniel said.

“Yeah, me too,” Kevin said. “Thanks.”

Nathaniel nodded. “We’ll talk to you-”

“Wait, Nathaniel?” Kevin interrupted.

“Yeah?”

There was a pause on the other line. Finally, Kevin said, “Good luck.”

Nathaniel smiled, even though Kevin wouldn’t see it. “You too, Kevin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. wow. one chapter left. that's weird. i've been working on this fic for eight months and there's only one chapter left to write.
> 
> but that's kinda what this is about. usually i don't like making excuses and i don't like being late, but there is a chance that the last chapter will not be out on time. ik, it's the last chapter, everyone wants to know what's going to happen, but rn things are kinda..... eh. i had plans to write the entire chapter over the weekend. i was extremely busy for the first half of the weekend, though, and then yesterday my mental stability was completely destroyed like yesterday was just #bad and i could barely bring myself to read or do any school work or anything, let alone write. also, this upcoming week is going to be extremely busy for me, for i have to start studying for finals and i have a final paper due that i have yet to start and yeah. don't think that this is me giving up on you guys!!! i am going to bring my laptop to school with me every day and write this chapter during my off-hours, but that last chapter might not be posted friday. at the latest, it will be posted monday, dec 11th. i really want to get this chapter out and give you guys the best ending ever!!! but there's just some stuff that, unfortunately, has to take priority.
> 
> just know that i'm trying my best and if the chapter is a day or two late, i haven't forgotten about you guys. you guys will just have to be patient with me bc this week is gonna be hectic. and hey, if the chapter ends up being posted on friday, cool!!!
> 
> but seriously, thank you all so much. you guys are the best readers ever and im so excited to finish this out with you guys!!! <3 
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com


	31. chapter thirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class I Exy Spring Championships: The Palmetto State Foxes vs. The Edgar Allan Ravens
> 
> tw: violence, gore, character death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i mentioned that you guys are the best audience ever, considering that you normally get two updates a week and have now had to wait almost TWO WEEKS for the final chapter, and you've all been so good and patient abt it??? ily guys sm <3
> 
> also, at this time, i would like to bring your attention to the new tag: #edit: there are three deaths at the end of this fic.  
> don't panic tho
> 
> and, hey, let's do this. let's finish this fic out together <3

When the Ravens travelled to Palmetto for their game against the Foxes, Nathaniel found the orange rather obnoxious.

He wondered how the Foxes liked all the black.

Tonight was the end. It was the closing game of the Class I Exy season, the Spring National Championships. Tonight was the night that everything they worked towards would come to a close. Every bit of pain and grief and trauma they endured would come together.

Or fall apart.

Nathaniel would admit it: he was nervous. He needed the Foxes to win. He needed Riko to realize what he had done and how he wasn’t going to get away with any of it.

He needed to get out of the Nest with Andrew at his side in one piece.

It was two hours before first serve and Nathaniel should have been in the locker room or the lounge or anywhere that wasn’t his dorm. Ravens were supposed to travel as a team, he should have been up with them practicing drills or sitting and waiting for _something_ because Tetsuji didn’t do _anything_ anymore. Their coach checked out, and Nathaniel knew it was because Tetsuji knew that he truly, royally fucked up. His end was just as inevitable as Riko’s.

But he couldn’t get himself to move from sitting. Sitting and staring. He stared at the walls and they stared back and Nathaniel wondered what a life without these four walls would be like. Nothing had been set in stone, but it was accepted as common knowledge that there would be no Edgar Allan Exy team for the incoming fall semester. Nathaniel didn’t know where he was going. He knew who he wanted to be with, but he hadn’t considered where the tragic Ravens would be put afterwards. He didn’t think he could be just a regular student at Edgar Allan. He didn’t know how.

He had grown up in an environment where he was conditioned to work in groups. You won with someone at your side, failed with someone at your side, and breathed sharing two lungs. The thought of adapting to the campus that Nathaniel had rarely actually been to caused his throat to close in the sudden panic of that things were finally going to change, and things were going to change _now_.

For the first time, Nathaniel found himself fearing a life outside of the Ravens. A life inside was doomed to abuse and manipulation. You were never your own person and to try to be was suicidal. Every athlete that had left the Ravens had carried some sort of baggage with them, whether it be the inability to work with others who you have not grown with or detrimental coping hazards that might kill you years sooner than anything else should. Nathaniel thought of Kevin, the only person to change and grow outside of the Ravens, and Nathaniel didn’t think he would have a support network like David Wymack and the Palmetto State Foxes.

But a life outside the Ravens? Nathaniel didn’t even know what to expect. He told Jean they would survive, he told Andrew he wanted a life, but what was a life when he never had the opportunity to have one? He never had so many choices and right now, staring at his wall, two hours before first serve, there seemed to be too many choices.

Everything was happening. Everything was happening _now_ and _fast_ and things were going to be different and Nathaniel didn’t know what _different_ could entail.

There was a knock on the door. “Nathaniel.”

The voice registered in Nathaniel’s mind and, instantly, his chest began to loosen. “Come in.”

Andrew Minyard walked in and Nathaniel turned to him. He breathed easier at the sight of Andrew, and perhaps too many choices could be limited to what Andrew would do.

“Staring,” Andrew noted.

“I know,” Nathaniel said. “This is it.”

“I know,” Andrew said. He then lifted his phone, which Nathaniel hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. Nathaniel saw that he was currently in the middle of a call. “Kevin wants to know why you’re not answering him.”

As Andrew moved to sit by Nathaniel, Nathaniel reached over to check his phone and saw that, yes, he had multiple missed texts and two missed calls from Kevin.

Nathaniel took the phone from Andrew and put it on speaker. “You have a phone so that you can use it,” Kevin said.

“Apologies for the fact that I have a life outside of answering your calls,” Nathaniel quipped. “Where are you guys?”

“We just got in your guest locker room,” Kevin said. “Wymack wanted us here earlier to prepare. We have a long night ahead of us.” Nathaniel nodded even though Kevin wasn’t able to see him. “Are you ready?”

“We have to be,” Nathaniel said. “We all do. We have no other choice.”

“Do you remember our deal, Kevin?” Andrew asked.

“Of course,” Kevin said. “You better be prepared to put up a fight, Minyard. We’re not losing this one. Not now, not again.”

“We all have to be ready to fight,” Nathaniel said. “It’s not just about winning anymore. It’s about everything. It’s about what Riko has done to all of us. He can’t leave this earth knowing that he got the final word after all. This can’t be all for nothing. We have to fight until we have nothing left to give because Riko took everything from us. He can’t die taking one final thing away from us. Everything we put out on the court today, it’s all for the game, all for the people who Riko thought he could take and bend and break and destroy. He can’t take anything else from us. He can’t have this. Not anymore. Not ever.”

Nathaniel expected a quip from Andrew about his obsession with exy, but he nodded in agreement.

“Riko’s not prepared for what we’re about to do to him,” Kevin said.

“Riko’s going to regret everything he has done over the past year,” Nathaniel said. “But his biggest regret is going to be stepping out onto the court tonight.”

“We all know what we have to do,” Andrew said. “What’s left is just meeting on the court.”

“We’re ready,” Kevin said. “See you there.”

They hung up.

Nathaniel was ready to breathe these four walls down and escape.

“I guess it’s time we head upstairs,” Nathaniel said.

“I guess it is,” Andrew agreed.

\--

By the time it was ten minutes before first serve, the news had already spread through the Ravens. Kevin Day had covered up the two on his cheek with a chess piece: the queen.

Nathaniel had never seen the Ravens angrier. They had suffered through Kevin leaving them for the Foxes, through Jean becoming a Trojan, through the Foxes getting to Championships. But this, _this_ , was the final straw. This was Kevin Day cutting his ties with Edgar Allan and finally removing himself from their narrative. Finally making it clear that he was no longer a Raven, and he was ready to take down the King and take what was always rightfully his.

At seeing the Ravens’ rage, Nathaniel couldn’t hold back his grin. In fact, he refused to. Let the Ravens see how he was overjoyed with their demise; let them know that he was a part of it. They had no power anymore.

They were waiting in inner court, a huddled mess of black and red. Tetsuji had just left to deliver his starting line up, and he had left his team with no words of encouragement. It didn’t matter to Tetsuji if they won or loss; he knew that he was finished.

Nathaniel, Andrew, and Riko would all be out together during the first and fourth quarter. Then, for second and third, Nathaniel and Riko would be switched off. Andrew would remain on for second, and then be taken off for third to recuperate. Having the three best players of the Ravens be off court for at least one quarter could give the Foxes time to fix any errors they could make, but only if they played their game right. Ravens subs didn’t play significantly worse, and would put up just as vicious of a fight as Riko would.

Kevin and Andrew’s deal only lasted for first half, when Andrew was on for both quarters. He hoped that Kevin and Seth Gordon would score the six points they needed and would use the quarter without Andrew to get it higher.

Nathaniel didn’t know if they would be that lucky. But he still found some small part in him with hope.

Riko then stepped to the middle of the huddle. His eyes stopped on each of his teammates. His look was brimming with hatred, as if he blamed the players in front of him instead of himself for what has happened, for what was about to happen.

His cold eyes stopped at Nathaniel. “Don’t fuck this up,” he said. His words were to the team, but Nathaniel knew that the core of his message was to him. “The Foxes are somewhere that they shouldn’t be, somewhere they were never supposed to be. They are going to try to take this from us, thinking that they have the skills to do so. You all better prove to them that they’re wrong.” He scanned his eyes again. “Make them know that coming here will be their biggest embarrassment yet. They think that they’re suited to play here because they have a traitor on their line. They’re going to leave here knowing that Kevin is just as worthless as them, and that showing up was suicidal.”

“Maybe it actually will be,” someone said from inside the huddle and Nathaniel had to clench his fists to stop from swinging.

“If we lose this,” Riko continued. “You’re just as worthless as them. If they win, none of you deserved to be on this court in the first place. Don’t let that happen. Don’t let them have what was always rightfully ours.”

Nathaniel would laugh if he hadn’t reached his limit for hatred.

The Ravens were called out first. The cheers from their fans were deafening at Riko being announced, and they only got louder from their. The sea of black and red was just as ready to see the Foxes fall as Riko was. They were just as shocked that the previously last-placed Palmetto State Foxes were currently on their court for Championships. They wanted to see the Foxes crumble and break just as much as Riko expected them too.

Nathaniel hoped that the pressure wouldn’t get to the Foxes.

The stadium then filled with cheers of excitement and roars of displeasure as the Foxes were announced. Captain Dan Wilds took every cheer and jeer with pride because she, unlike the other captain on the court, she knew that her and her Foxes deserved to be here. The cries only got louder with Kevin because he was returning to his roots, only this time he was ready to tear them up. The rest of the Foxes’ starting lineup followed out, and Nathaniel actually felt excitement boiling in his gut at the sight of his opponents. Matt Boyd and Aaron Minyard were the starting backliners, and Nicky Hemmick would most likely be switching on for one of them in the second quarter. Nathaniel was glad to see that Aaron was back on court, but it also furthered his desire for Riko’s destruction because he destroyed the Minyards. When Renee Walker took her spot in goal, Nathaniel hoped that she could feel his gratitude for what she had done for them across the court.

The Foxes had first serve and Dan Wilds was currently in possession. There were ten seconds on the clock. Nathaniel’s assigned striker wasn’t Kevin Day, but Seth Gordon. Perhaps Tetsuji didn’t trust Nathaniel to stop Kevin, but he didn’t realize that Nathaniel wasn’t the one giving up his game. That came down to Andrew and Kevin, and the phrase ‘giving up his game’ was used very loosely when applied to Andrew. Andrew was still putting up as much of a fight, but Kevin had to put up just as much of a fight for Andrew to succeed a point.

Nathaniel still thought that Seth was a worthy striker for him to guard. Despite everything he had heard from Kevin about Seth being stubborn at best, offensive at worst, Nathaniel could recognize a good striker when he saw one.

Nathaniel looked back at Andrew in goal and nodded. He gave one in return.

The starting buzzer rang out, Dan served to Kevin, and the game began.

Nathaniel realized that these Foxes were not the Foxes they saw in October. In October, everyone, Fox, Raven, spectator, knew that the Foxes would lose miserably. The season had only just started, they only had eight players on their lineup, and even having Kevin as an assistant coach, they weren’t meeting his high standards and fought him and each other as much as they fought their opponents. They played the Ravens in October because they had to; they were in the same district now, they had no choice. But now, now they played the Ravens after months of training. Kevin joined their team as a player and drilled them with Raven drills and pushed them as hard as they pushed him. The Foxes knew that they deserved to be here, and they were going to fight to the death to make sure that they made everyone know that, that everyone would see them walking out with a trophy declaring them National Champions.

Nathaniel wished them the best, but he still had to play like a Raven. And the Ravens were _angry_. He could feel their toxicity bubbling up and out of them, seeping onto the court and ensnaring those who touched it. They were angry that the Foxes got back to them, and now they would do anything to keep them from succeeding. Nathaniel and Andrew made a deal, too, and if he wanted Andrew to keep his with Kevin, Nathaniel had to play like he was just as angry.

When Seth Gordon moved to shoot on goal, Nathaniel checked his stick last second and popped the ball out of the net. Seth cursed at him as Nathaniel scooped the ball up and served it to Jenkins.

He was going to piss off Seth, he was going to play like a Raven, but the least he could do was serve the ball to the lesser striker.

The game didn’t take long to turn violent. With the battling of anger and determination, sticks barely missed hitting bodies and helmets, and each check got rougher as the first half went on. The teams narrowly missed yellow cards, and red cards weren’t far along the horizon. Tetsuji always played their red cards, using them as an excuse to bring players with more fuel left onto the court. It wasn’t going to be long before fouls would start being called.

It pained Nathaniel to fight back against his striker mark because Seth hadn’t even been able to score one point yet. Kevin was having more luck, but that didn’t mean that he was having an easier time. Despite having the lesser backliner mark, Nathaniel could hear the things being shouted at Kevin each time he scored. He saw each check his backliner delivered and panicked that the vibrations were going deep into the bones of his hands. The Ravens knew Kevin’s weakness now, and they would do anything to use it against him.

And then Andrew. Nathaniel didn’t know how Andrew decided what goal was worthy and what wasn’t, but he seemed to have a method to it. He and Kevin seemed to have some sort of connection that would tell Andrew to let this one score, but not that one.

Nathaniel could tell that the Foxes were giving everything that had for the first half, but even the drive that had ended up not being enough. Their backliners weren’t able to stop the strikers’ scores, the strikers had difficulties getting past the backliners and Andrew, and Nathaniel couldn’t tune out the goalie wall lighting up red with each score from the Ravens.

Andrew and Kevin were holding up with their deal, but the first half still ended in seven-four, Ravens.

The Ravens filed into the locker room for the fifteen minutes they had before second half. Nathaniel could feel their pride seething off of them because there was no way the Foxes could make a comeback, and it sickened Nathaniel. Of course they would take pride in this, they would take pride in watching the Foxes die if they could see it.

But there was something else to it. Something else that added to the twist in his gut and the anxiety in his mind. Because perhaps his teammates were right, perhaps the Foxes couldn’t bounce back from a three point lead to the Ravens.

Andrew and Nathaniel lingered behind the chattering Ravens. They were still angry that these were the events unfolding for their Championships, but now there was a viciousness tied to it. They had the lead, and they were going to do anything to keep it.

“That wasn’t six points,” Nathaniel whispered.

“It wasn’t,” Andrew replied.

“Andrew-”

“I did what I told Kevin I would,” Andrew’s voice was low. “I told him that he would get six points but he had to fight for them. You might not know what that means, but he did. We’ve spoken about it before. I told him to play his game well. It was between him and I, and he knew that this could be what happened. He knew that you weren’t going to be giving up your game, and neither was I.”

“ _Andrew_ ,” Nathaniel repeated, pleaded.

Andrew then studied him, ran his hazel eyes over Nathaniel’s face, which must have looked quite pitiful. “We’re both off for the next quarter,” Andrew finally said. “So is Riko. The Foxes can use this as their chance to bring the score back up.”

It was the closest Nathaniel could ever get to reassurance, and he couldn’t have appreciated it more. It was enough to show that Andrew cared, really, truly cared, and that he wanted this for the Foxes as much as Nathaniel and Kevin did. Nathaniel never doubted him, but it was still nice to hear it.

Andrew, Nathaniel, and Riko were sidelined for the third quarter, with Andrew standing in between Nathaniel and Riko. Despite Andrew being the shortest of the three, he would be the one most likely to stop any brawls if Riko (and Nathaniel) couldn’t keep their mouth shut.

But, really, Nathaniel was too caught up in the court to even pay attention to Riko. The second half was just about to begin, and the Foxes were filing into their starting positions. His pulse thumped hard and loud in his body. The Ravens would be going into the second half with an entirely new lineup, but the Foxes were used to playing full games by now.

Nathaniel just hoped that they could close the three point gap, and then some.

When it was Kevin’s turn to enter the court, he hesitated and Nathaniel could see the smirk on his face. He then touched the butt of his racket to the floor and switched it from his right hand to his left.

“Holy fucking shit,” Nathaniel said, unable to hold back as the stands, spectators for both Ravens and Foxes, lost any shred of composure they had left. Kevin Day, broken Kevin Day, left the Nest with a shattered left hand and the daunting exy-less future ahead of him. He eventually returned to the court as a right-handed player who spent more time worrying about reinjuring himself than anything else. And the Ravens called that, that, and let Kevin fester in their minds as a weak, breakable, pitiful, lost thing.

However, they seem to have forgotten that Kevin Day was stubborn before anything else, so of course he would return to his left-handed roots. They forgot that Kevin was just as determined to succeed and come out on top as they were; so, they learned the way he played right-handed. They adjusted the way they played so that they could use it against Kevin’s right handed-style.

And now, Kevin Day was ready to destroy every plan that they had for the rest of the night.

Suddenly, closing the point gap seemed a closer possibility than not.

The second half began, and Nathaniel’s heart hammered in his chest as he watched the game unfold before him. The Ravens were ready to put up a fight, but the Foxes were ready to fight back. The Foxes’ current backliners, Matt and Nicky, were now working on pushing the Raven strikers farther up the court and away from Renee in goal. The Ravens had the tendency to gang up on the goalie; it’s why they could score so many points in such a short time. The Foxes now worked to break that offensive line.

Kevin scored in the first minute and thirty seconds of the game. Then again six minutes later.

Nathaniel smirked. “Didn’t expect this, huh, Riko?” he said over Andrew’s head and Riko shot daggers at him.

Andrew also side eyed him, but Nathaniel pretended that he didn’t see that. He could practically hear Andrew in his head to stop running himself into Riko’s fist, but Nathaniel had a bit of an attitude problem.

The Ravens fought against Kevin like Nathaniel knew they would. They had thrown strategy out the window, since none of it applied to Kevin anymore, and with it came violence. Again and again their strikers tried to score on the Foxes, and again and again Renee fired their shots back and Matt and Nicky pushed them farther away. It was obvious that Kevin had spent time working with the Foxes on adapting to the Ravens’ speed, and it was paying off.

Kevin and Seth, now not having Nathaniel to step around and Andrew to shoot past, were able to get around the Ravens’ backliners and shoot on goal. They didn’t make every shot, but at Nathaniel, Andrew, and Riko’s return to court, the score was eight-seven, Ravens.

There was one quarter left. If Renee continued to shut out their goal, the Foxes just needed two more points and they would win. At the transition from third to fourth quarter and the reappearance of Riko, Coach Wymack switched out Nicky for Aaron and Nathaniel hoped that they were enough to push back Riko.

Nathaniel couldn’t throw him game. Andrew wouldn’t. Riko wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

But the Foxes weren’t giving up their fight either. Battling the Ravens’ anger was the Foxes’ fight, and even from across the court, Nathaniel could tell that their determination added an extra boost of energy.

Right before the fourth quarter started, Nathaniel turned back to Andrew in goal. Andrew instantly caught his eyes, and they gave each other a small nod.

It was the final fifteen minutes. Everything they fought for would come to its conclusion in fifteen minutes. Nathaniel wanted nothing more than to watch the Foxes win and tear down Riko’s reign before his very eyes.

Three minutes into the fourth quarter, Kevin scored again, tying the game at eight-eight, and Reacher finally broke and swung at him. He knocked Kevin’s helmet off and his fist connected with his jaw. Whistles from all referees were blown furiously and court door echoed as they slammed open, but that didn’t stop Kevin from shoving back at Reacher.

Reacher was given a red card and removed from the court while Kevin was given a yellow one. If a team got enough red cards, they would be eliminated from the game and the other team would win by default, but Nathaniel knew the strategy Tetsuji was playing. When their coach was actually desperate about something, he would welcome red cards. It gave the opportunity to switch out players as he needed, allowing players with more energy to replace the faltering ones.

When the Ravens were given another red card for checking Walker, Nathaniel knew that that was the strategy that Tetsuji was taken. It was risky and uncalled for; the Ravens were once again up ten-nine with ten minutes left of the game. To check the goalie was perhaps the most offensive move a player could do; a goalie’s gear was to protect them from balls being flung at them, not the weight of a person.

When Renee was checked into the wall, the goal lighting up red, Nathaniel panicked that that was it. The Foxes didn’t have another goalie, and if Walker was done, so was the game. But she persisted, and the Ravens were red carded, and the Foxes soon got their revenge.

It was when Seth was coming up the court. Allison had just served to him. Kevin, when he had just joined the Foxes, said that Seth could actually be an amazing player if he wasn’t so antagonistic to everyone. He had heard that Kevin and Seth got into enough fights in the first month of Kevin’s arrival to last the entire season, primarily because two great strikers were put on the same starting line, one who was trying to bounce back from the bottom and one who couldn’t work with someone long enough to make progress.

Perhaps, though, Kevin’s words finally got through to Seth. When Seth shot at the goal, Nathaniel couldn’t stop him.

Nathaniel then heard the goal ring out across the court.

The score was ten-ten, a tie between Ravens and Foxes.

There was a minute and thirty seconds left of the game.

Nathaniel’s heart pounded in his chest so hard it made him feel sick. The game continued and no one scored. Barely legal stick checks threw the ball between both teams but neither pair of strikers could get close to the goals.

They couldn’t go into overtime. The Ravens could handle overtime; they had players on the court whose fourth quarter was their first time playing all night. They had the energy to handle it. The Foxes, though, had their capacity at an hour and a half of playing time. Even Kevin had expressed that the endurance training was tough to last that long. To go an extra five or ten or thirty minutes would mean that the Foxes would decline, and decline fast.

If they finished the fourth quarter out at a tie, Nathaniel didn’t know what he would do with himself. The Ravens would outscore the Foxes in overtime. He didn’t realize how much he needed the Foxes to win until now, when it seemed like they couldn’t. Riko would surely kill him and Andrew for what the two of them had done to Riko. The Ravens would be exposed no matter what, but in the end, Riko would have won. He would have the final word, and Nathaniel didn’t know if he could handle hearing them.

The ball was in the Foxes’ possession. There were twelve seconds left. Allison passed to Kevin. There were ten seconds left. Kevin narrowly missed being tripped by his backliner. There were four seconds left.

Then, time seemed to slow.

Kevin moved to shoot. Throughout the night, he had been shooting over Andrew’s left shoulder, and Andrew anticipated this. At the start of the fourth quarter, he adjusted himself to Kevin’s playing style and used what he could to block Kevin’s goals. Kevin and Andrew no longer had any deals; Andrew wasn’t holding anything back to stop Kevin.

Kevin anticipated _this_ , however, and as he went to shoot for Andrew’s left shoulder, at the last second he twisted his hand.

And sent the ball flying past Andrew’s torso on the right as Andrew lunged for the anticipated left shot.

The goal lit up red.

There were two seconds left.

Nathaniel heard the screams burst out from around and on the court, and then he heard the final buzzer.

Nathaniel, slowly, for if he moved too fast he thought he might break, turned to stare at the scoreboard.

Eleven-ten, Foxes.

_He did it. He really did it. Of course he really did it. Kevin Day, Kevin fucking Day, scored in the last two seconds of the game._

The Foxes’ screams could be heard over everyone else’s. Turning to look at his opponents, the new National Champions, he saw that all the Foxes were piled together in one large, obnoxiously orange, elated clump.

All but one Fox, who was currently standing in front of Andrew’s goal with his helmet off, a huge grin on his face, and a queen chess piece on his cheek.

Nathaniel smiled.

His happiness was short lived, however, for he felt a claw grip his shoulder and pull him around. Riko glared down at him and Nathaniel stared back. Riko had threw his helmet somewhere in a fit of rage, and Nathaniel only had his own to separate them. He wore a manic grin on his face and his eyes tore Nathaniel apart piece by piece.

“You know how it is, Nathaniel,” Riko growled, knocking off Nathaniel’s helmet. “I go down, you go down with me.” He then threw Nathaniel to the ground and he felt something pop in his shoulder as he smashed against the ground. The only thing Nathaniel could register as Riko swung his racket above his head was that this was what Kevin must have felt like all those months ago.

Before Riko could swing downwards, a large, black racket smacked into Riko’s left arm and even Nathaniel could feel the crack that ran down it. Riko let out a scream, a painful, ear shattering scream, before collapsing to the ground.

_Check._

Andrew stared down at Nathaniel. Nathaniel stared back.

“You’re welcome,” Andrew said, deadpan. “Weren’t you taught manners, Nathaniel?”

“Not really,” Nathaniel breathed and Andrew pulled him up. Nathaniel winced at the pull in his shoulder, but it must have been nothing compared to the pain Riko was feeling.

Good.

The game was over and fans were dismissed, but the teams themselves weren’t allowed to leave. Ambulances and the police were called, since that seemed to be the common trend among the Foxes, and Riko was whisked away in an ambulance that Nathaniel assumed would bring him to a hospital owned by the Moriyamas.

The Ravens and the Foxes were kept separated. If they couldn’t hold back fighting each other on the court, there was no way they were going to be permitted to sit near each other after the Ravens lost their title as Champions for the first time since their creation.

Players from both teams were questioned. Mostly about what happened between Riko, Nathaniel, and Andrew. After hearing enough stories, Andrew’s swing at Riko was deemed as a defending one, since Riko was ready to bash in Nathaniel’s skull.

Tetsuji was not present during any of this.

Finally, at just past two in the morning, the Foxes were permitted to leave and the Ravens were sent into their locker room. There were guards standing outside each door, ready to burst in if they heard a fight break out. But by the time the Ravens entered, they were too tired and shocked to make any moves against each other.

The locker room was so quiet, Nathaniel could hear everyone’s heartbeats.

The Perfect Court had naturally put all their lockers by each other. One year ago, their section of lockers were occupied by five people. Now, only two remained. Things had become so different.

The silence was broken when the locker room phone rang. Almost all the Ravens were fully dressed, and Nathaniel was just finishing towel-drying his hair. Everyone stared at the blaring phone, yet no one moved to answer it. Finally, Nathaniel stepped forward and answered it.

“Nathaniel Wesninski speaking,” he said.

“Wesninski,” a heavily accented voice said. Nathaniel easily connected the dots of the Japanese accent and the call coming from inside Evermore and knew that it was one of Lord Ichirou’s people. “You must report now to the tower. A guard outside will escort you. Do not try to escape.”

“I’ll be right there,” Nathaniel said and, once permitted, hung up.

Andrew stared at him. Nathaniel stared back. “I’ll be right back,” Nathaniel finally said.

“You better be,” Andrew said, and Nathaniel walked out the locker room doors.

\--

The ride up to the tower was about as ominous as Nathaniel knew it was going to be. He knew what was about to happen. Everything was pointing in one singular direction than Nathaniel knew what was going to happen, but one, paranoid voice in the back of his mind kept telling him to start counting down the minutes just like he did in Baltimore.

There were actually two guards sent for him. That added to the ominous atmosphere. Ever since Nathan Wesninski was killed, Lord Ichirou had been in a panic, cutting ties and killing those who he thought were traitors. Nathaniel guessed that, even after his vow to Lord Ichirou to remain loyal, Lord Ichirou still was paranoid that he would run. It made sense to send two guards; one to catch him, and one to do the killing.

But Nathaniel didn’t plan on running, so he let the atmosphere choke him as they travelled up to the tower in dead silence.

When the elevator arrived to the top floor, Nathaniel stepped out and was followed by the two guards. The elevator doors closed, and the two of them stood in front of them. Nathaniel then realized that it wasn’t only him that they were keeping from running away.

Lord Ichirou stood at the window that looked out to the court. He stared out of it with as much intensity as if there was still a game going on. Other guards and people of the Moriyamas stood around the borders of his room, so still that they could have been statues. Tetsuji and Riko were sitting on a leather couch in the middle of the room. Tetsuji stared ahead as if there was no one else in the room with him. Riko had never looked more broken and haggard, and Nathaniel saw the cast around his left arm poking out of the sling. No one seemed to notice Nathaniel’s entrance.

Nathaniel didn’t move and everyone remained silent. Nathaniel counted the seconds, and he got to two minutes and three seconds before Lord Ichirou finally moved. He removed a gloved hand from his pocket and held it out to one of his guards. Wordlessly, the guard walked over and gave him a handgun. Lord Ichirou took it and stepped forward until he was an equal distance from both the couch and Nathaniel.

Lord Ichirou then turned his icy stare onto Nathaniel and that paranoid voice in the back of his head suddenly seemed more realistic. He prepared to plea for his life once again, was ready to give Lord Ichirou all his earnings if it meant he could live, when Lord Ichirou turned away from him and stepped towards the couch.

Lord Ichirou first stood in front of Tetsuji. He spoke quietly to him, quiet enough so that Nathaniel could barely hear him. He was only able to pick up a few words in Japanese, but not nearly enough to put together the context of what he was saying to his uncle.

He then figured it out extremely quick when Lord Ichirou put the gun to Tetsuji’s forehead and pulled the trigger.

The shot was deafening, but Nathaniel found himself wincing more at the blood splatter across Riko and the couch more than the noise. Tetsuji slumped back on the couch. With his other gloved hand, Lord Ichirou pulled the body forward and let it fall on the floor.

Lord Ichirou then took one step to the side and crouched in front of Riko. The two brothers looked at each other for the first time, and Nathaniel realized that the coldness he saw in Lord Ichirou’s eyes was the same coldness he used to see in Riko’s.

Now, though, Riko looked at him, crushed and utterly defeated. “Ichirou,” he barely choked out, his voice drowned in emotion. Lord Ichirou just stared at him.

Riko looked at if he was about to say something else, but he didn’t get his words out in time. Lord Ichirou put the gun to Riko’s temple and pulled the trigger. Blood splattered and Riko’s body slumped.

_Checkmate._

Lord Ichirou carefully placed the gun in Riko’s limp hand and Nathaniel put together the plan the Moriymas had in mind.

Lord Ichirou then turned to Nathaniel and stepped up to him. “It seems that our common enemies are finished,” he said. “Are you satisfied?”

Nathaniel nodded. “I am,” he said. “Thank you, Lord Ichirou.”

“Remember what I told you, Wesninski,” Lord Ichirou continued. “You cannot go anywhere where your roots won’t lead you back to us.”

“I won’t forget that, my Lord,” Nathaniel assured and Lord Ichirou nodded.

“You are dismissed, then.”

Nathaniel being led out of the tower and back into the elevator was a blur. He didn’t register any of his surroundings, but he could feel the grin on his face. It was over, it was _finally over_ , and Riko got what was coming for him for a long, long time.

When he arrived back in the locker room, it seemed like all the other Ravens had flocked elsewhere, until he turned to his locker and saw Andrew waiting for him. Nathaniel flashed him a smile and Andrew raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you so happy?” Andrew asked, his stare intense on Nathaniel.

Nathaniel cocked his head to the side and felt his grin grow wider. “We won, Andrew.”

\--

The Edgar Allan Ravens’ Exy team was not deemed mentally or emotionally fit to join the student body for the last couple weeks of the semester. Having just lost their coach, their captain, and their team, the school board saw that another sudden change might hinder the Ravens more than help.

And yet, things felt lighter, easier, in the dorms. No one spoke to each other, yet no one fought. For the first time in their college careers, some for the first time in their lives, they did not have someone breathing down their necks. They were free to make their own choices. Eventually. For right now, they were to stay in the Nest with near constant supervision. Except this time, the supervision was to make sure they didn’t fall apart, instead of constantly bending and breaking them.

The Ravens were to finish out their spring semester, and come fall, there would be no more Edgar Allan Raven Exy team. The athletes were free to just be students or to transfer, but the school board didn’t believe it to be just to let the Ravens’ Exy team, a force that had grown from powerful to manipulative and abusive, to continue.

Riko’s death was ruled as a suicide. By the time he and Tetsuji were found, Lord Ichirou and his men were long gone. Anyone who saw the staged scene put the pieces together and found their conclusion: Riko Moriyama, captain to the former National Champions Edgar Allan Ravens, in a manic frenzy of not being able to cope with the bad news on the Ravens and losing his title of Champion, shot his uncle and then himself. Anyone who had seen the news and heard of what happened down in the Nest believed it, which was basically everyone.

Except Nathaniel. Nathaniel knew what really happened. But that would have to be his own little secret, unless he wanted Lord Ichirou to do the same to him.

Nathaniel stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His scars had healed and he traced his finger over the one that ran just below the three tattooed on his cheek. Eventually, he would have to make up a story for how he got those scars. Or maybe he could tell the truth. Nathaniel had time, though. The Exy season was over, and Nathaniel didn’t even know if he would have a collegiate Exy season in a couple months.

He still hoped he would play, though. There had been a few pro teams waiting for Nathaniel in the draft, and maybe that could be where he turned.

Still, though, Nathaniel had time. He smiled at himself in the mirror at the thought.

The bathroom light flickered and he turned on his heel to leave. The black hallway was vacant, but Nathaniel knew that his fellow Ravens were in their dorms and in the lounge. They were probably attempting to find peace in not having to move as one collective unit, or at least trying to cope with it.

Nathaniel pushed the door of his dorm open and found Andrew waiting for him in the desk chair.

“I thought you would have learned to not leave your door open,” Andrew said. “Anyone could walk in.”

“Well, I’m glad that it was you,” Nathaniel said, shutting the door behind him and stepping up to Andrew.

Andrew stared up at him. “Watch it, Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel smirked. “What percentage am I at now?”

“One-hundred-and-twenty,” Andrew said. “Very high.”

Nathaniel shrugged. “As it happens.”

Andrew then reached up for him. His hands stopped right before the collar of Nathaniel’s shirt. “Yes or no?”

Nathaniel gave Andrew his affirmation and, rather quickly, Andrew pulled Nathaniel down into a kiss. Nathaniel’s hands immediately found their place in Andrew’s hair, and Andrew’s own bunched Nathaniel’s shirt in his fists.

Nathaniel was glad he closed the door, because only a couple seconds later, there was a knock on it.

Nathaniel pulled away and Andrew breathed out what seemed like a sigh of annoyance. “Sorry,” Nathaniel said with a slight laugh before going to open the door.

The Athletics’ Director stood on the other side of it.

“Oh, uh, hi,” Nathaniel said, unable to keep the confusion from his voice.

“Hello.” The Director looked at Nathaniel and then Andrew. “Good, you’re both here-” Nathaniel quickly looked back to Andrew. “There is a David Wymack here to see both of you.”

David Wymack, as in Kevin’s father, as in the coach of the Palmetto State Exy team. Here. For Nathaniel and Andrew.

Nathaniel and Andrew shared a look before wordlessly following the Director up to the court. David Wymack was waiting in the inner court, sitting on one of the benches and reading over two files in his hands. He looked up when the other three entered.

“I will be in your late coach’s office if there are any issues,” the Director said before making his way to Tetsuji’s office. Neither Wymack, Nathaniel, or Andrew spoke until the Director left the court.

“What are you doing here?” Nathaniel asked, his mind running too fast to be able to put together pleasantries.

Wymack sighed, standing up. “I should’ve expected after Kevin showed up that I wouldn’t get any manners here,” he said, approaching them. “But I don’t think we need introductions.”

“No,” Andrew said. “We don’t.”

“So, I’m going to cut to the chase,” Wymack said, presenting the two files in his hands. _NATHANIEL WESNINSKI_ and _ANDREW MINYARD_ were written on them in large, slanted letters and Nathaniel’s mind finally processed what was about to happen. “I believe that we all have something that could benefit each other. You are two skilled Exy players with no team, and I am a coach with openings on my lineup.”

Nathaniel blinked down at his file before finally looking up at Wymack. What Wymack was presenting worked out too well. The Ravens lose their Exy team and all of a sudden Wymack is here offering them a spot on his team. There had to be a flaw in his plan. Things never worked out this easily, and they sure as hell weren’t about to start.

“But you really only need a goalie,” Nathaniel began to ramble. “You only have Renee. Having Andrew would mean a better defense because Renee wouldn’t have to extend her energy over an hour and a half. But you already have three backliners, and Matt isn’t graduating for another two years, and Nicky and Aaron the year after that. Really, you need a striker since Seth is leaving your line. But I’m a backliner. And you… you have three, already.”

Wymack arched an eyebrow at him. “I see you’ve done your research,” he said. “But, frankly, I don’t give a damn about anything you just said. You two meet the two qualifications for my team, and I will admit, I am not the only one who wants you two. Kevin practically begged me to get you two on our lineup for next season. Of course, he mainly saw it as bettering our playing strategies, but I don’t think even he would be against having some familiar faces on the line.”

“I don’t think I can deal with you and Kevin obsessing over Exy again,” Andrew muttered, but when Wymack presented two contracts, he took the one with his name on it with no hesitation.

“But also, my team is about second chances,” Wymack continued. “I’ve heard of what goes on down here from Kevin, and specifically what happened in this ‘perfect court’ that was created. And, personally, I think you two deserve another shot in life to be who and what you want to be without someone telling you what that ‘who’ and ‘what’ is.”

 _And, personally, I think you two deserve another shot in life to be who and what you want to be without someone telling you what that ‘who’ and ‘what’ is._ They were words that Nathaniel had said to himself time and time again to give himself hope that, one day, he would escape the Nest. But he never thought someone else would see that potential, too.

Nathaniel, with a shaking hand, took the contract being presented to him.

All he wanted was a future out of the Nest, following Andrew wherever he went. He never considered a future like _this_ , though. A future having another team and a number; a future doing what he loved without the pressure to be better than everyone else, but to not usurp a king. A future with Andrew at his side, not because he followed him, but because they were both wanted.

“But, with that being said,” Wymack continued. “You two do have a choice, and it’s one that I can’t -and won’t- make for you. I’ll be with your Athletics’ Director, come talk to me when you two are ready.”

Nathaniel and Andrew wordlessly watched him leave.

Nathaniel then turned his stare back to the contract in his hands. A full scholarship to do what he wanted to do, with people who understood. A future of orange and white.

Nathaniel liked those colors much more than black and red.

“I want this,” Nathaniel whispered, crinkling the edges of the paper in between his fingers. “This is what I’ve wanted all along.”

“Then take it,” Andrew said. “Nothing, no one, is here anymore to stop you.”

Nathaniel thought of his old life compared to the one laid out in front of him. The life behind him left him with scars from fights and traumas. The life before him gave him a chance to become a new person. A _second chance_ , as Wymack dubbed it, to leave behind the life that hurt him and beat him and told him that he was never going to amount to anything more than a number.

Ghosts would follow him wherever he went, and they might never really leave him. Kevin and Andrew would stick with him, but Nathaniel didn’t consider them ghosts.

Nathaniel turned to Andrew. “I don’t want to be Nathaniel Wesninski anymore,” he said, his voice barely over a whisper. It felt odd to hear those words leave his mouth. His father had put the Wesninski branding on him the moment he was born, but he found that he was not his father. He was someone better. He wasn’t violent by nature, guided by hate and a cleaver. He just knew when to fight back for what was right, and who to fight for. He was not his father, and now he had the chance to leave the Wesninski name behind him.

He wanted to take Andrew with him and start a new life as a new person with a new team.

“Then leave him behind,” Andrew said. “Let him die with the Ravens, let him die with Riko and your father.”

“I don’t know who I want to be yet.”

“You don’t have to. Just keep moving forward.”

“I want you with me,” Nathaniel admitted.

“I will be.” It was the first time that Andrew didn’t deny their relationship. Nathaniel found himself smiling, and for once Andrew didn’t tell him to not look at him like that.

Andrew’s eyes flicked over Nathaniel’s face, and something that could have been a small smile turned his lips up. “One-hundred-and-twenty-four percent.”

Nathaniel laughed. Everything felt real. Not everything was okay, and maybe things wouldn’t be okay for a while, but things were real. Kevin, Nathaniel, and Andrew came out of this whole situation alive, and they were now going to be teammates again, except this time wearing orange instead of black. They would need time; time to heal, time to get to know each other out of the Nest, time to adjust to a life of not having violence and torture held over their heads.

But things were real, and things were progressing.

For now, though, Nathaniel and Andrew had to find Wymack. They needed to talk about when practices would start, and what new equipment they would need, and when they would be meeting their new teammates as Foxes instead of runaway Ravens.

First, though, they needed to sign those contracts.

Nathaniel went to follow in the direction Wymack went, and Andrew fell into place next to him.

While walking, Nathaniel Wesninski traced the three on his cheek. At a younger age, the marker would have smudged under his touch; however, the ink, scarred into his face, held up. The permanent ink, for so long, was an ever constant reminder to Nathaniel that he was not a person, but just a mere number destined to be a servant to the Ravens and the Moriyama family. For all his life he had been a thing, a machine, a number. He had been a lackey, a punching bag, an ally under circumstance. Now, though, perhaps the mark could be a sign for what he survived. He was finally going to be seen as a human being, and he was alive to see it.

If life had gone different, he would never have had any of this. He would have never suffered through the Ravens. He never would have had to know Tetsuji and Riko Moriyama and endure what they had done to him. He would have lived a life that he hoped would have been semi-normal.

But life had not been different. And he couldn’t change the past. He couldn’t change what he had done, the promises he had made, and the promises he wished he could have kept. He couldn’t change the scars and the bruises and the nightmares that would be an ever constant reminder of the life he had to live.

For the first time in his life, though, he had the chance to change his future. His past couldn’t have been different, but his future could be. He had the opportunity to do what he wanted, finally not governed by a forceful hand. The only thing left indebted for was to do what he loved, and he found that a great way to start the rest of his life.

And he was going to do it. He was going to make a new life for himself with new people and a new identity, and he was going to do it with Andrew at his side.

He continued off in search of Wymack, and Andrew was next to him, and occasionally their hands brushed, and Nathaniel was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this it it. that was the final chapter of 'hawk in the raven nest'. i started writing this fic april 19th, 2017, and now, on december 16th 2017, it's finished. and i have so much to say, tbh i've been planning what i want to say for this for months, but now i find myself kinda speechless. i guess the first thing to start off with it: did u really think i was gonna kill nathaniel, part 2
> 
> but seriously, i love all of u, and now lets begin with the longest end note ever:
> 
> when i first started this fic, i seriously thought it was only going to be abt 5k-7k words. seriously. i was only planning on doing the major major scenes like the beginning, thanksgiving, all the raven/foxes games, and then the end. if im being honest, andreil was barely going to be in this fic originally but then i, like, wasn't having that and made andreil more present. like this fic was supposed to be something i wrote in a week and was then done with it. obviously, that is not something that happened considering this fic is like 88k-something words and took me eight months. i didn't expect this fic to become one of the most major things of my year. i started this fic in the end of my senior year (the busiest part of my senior year tbh). this fic saw me through graduating high school and, honestly, some of the toughest times of my life. so many times i wanted to give up bc my mindset just wasn't having it. but i kept pushing through bc i needed to finish it, i needed to prove to myself and to everyone that i could finish a major project like this. so, i pushed through all the bad days (which there were a lot) and the writer's block (also a lot) and just kept writing. bc sometimes, that's all you can do: just write. 
> 
> also, some of you have asked me if i will eventually write andrew's reaction to nathaniel disappearing, or if i will do any post-fic stories and, i've considered it, but i honestly don't know if i will. i've definitely thought about it and what i could do, but i feel like i have done my part in telling what i think nathaniel wesninski's story would have been. also, i think i've dealt with this fic for the appropriate amount of time. the first deadline for this fic was july 31st, which i didn't make, and then the beginning of august, which i didn't make, and then august 28th, which -surprise surprise- i didn't make. and that's because i wasn't ready for this fic to leave me. if i rushed this fic out of me back in july and august, i would have lost a part of me as a fic writer. so many scenes that you guys loved (all the andreil, baltimore, insides into kevin and nathaniel's friendship, etc) would have been rushed and possibly not executed as well, and therefore parts of this fic would have been lost. but now, on december 16th, i feel that i have done all i could and wanted to. there are no scenes that i wished i included during earlier chapters, there is nothing that i regret. i have put my full heart into this fic, and i don't know if i have anything left in me to continue to write stuff for this and have it feel just as natural and from the heart. nathaniel got the happy ending he deserved, and i think that is the best place to leave him off: happy, in love, and ready to begin anew 
> 
> and now, some words of love:
> 
> as i said in the beginning, this fic wouldn't have even become a thing if @exybee didn't make a text post saying that someone should write a fic abt nathaniel, andrew, and kevin dismantling the ravens. she inspired this fic and honestly bee is amazing you should def check her out!!!
> 
> to my two best friends, mer and rae. they became friends with me like a week after i started writing this and they heard EVERYTHING from ideas to questions to reading actual scenes. special shout out to rae bc she was the first person to read the infamous chapter 27 like a month before i published it and i killed her with it, also i kept making her think that i was going to kill nathaniel bc im terrible and i like leaving people in high amounts of suspense.
> 
> but most importantly to you, the reader: without you guys reading this, without you all leaving kudos and comments, this fic might never have continued. you guys are the ones that pushed me to keep on posting and writing. i was so scared that people weren't going to read this and that all my hard work was just going to go to waste, but you, all of you, completely threw me a curve ball. you all just took this fic in and made me feel so good about what i have done. honestly, i know i teased like all of you when baltimore was happening, but interacting with you guys is always a highlight of my day. if it wasn't for all of you, this fic wouldn't have been nearly as much as it was. and i can't tell you guys enough how much i appreciate that. so, to all of you, thank you. you were amazing.
> 
> actuallygansey.tumblr.com <3


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